Thursday, December 31, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 34

In which, after restocking potions and selling excess loots at the library tavern (a concept I heartily approve of) we finally get our library card and can get to the business of analyzing the Amulet of Chaos. But first we're going to send The Thief off on a side-quest to steal a book from the restricted section.

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 42

In which, having concluded there's no way to climb the foothills to Ranger Station Foxtrot, we take the long way around through the Cazadore infested hills on the road to the Super Mutant town of Jacobstown. 


Monday, December 28, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 41

In which we hit the road to start distributing the new NCR radio security codes to the various ranger stations. Our first stop after Station Charlie, which we've already visited, and a quick side trip to sell gear? Ranger Station Foxtrot, in the hills west of New Vegas. Get ready for more Cazadore punching, kids! 

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 32

In which we escape the dungeon, only to find ourselves transported to a magical library run by liches and death knights. Will we learn the secrets of the Amulet of Chaos here? Not until we get a library card! 


Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 40

In which we continue to help out at Camp Forlorn Hope; first by seeking out a mising supply delivery and then by doing some actual doctoring. We then finish the day with a fight to take back Nelson from the Legion. Again, apparently.

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 31

In which we continue cleaning the fifth floor and finally catch up with that annoying master of ceremonies Splat Jaypak. Get ready for intense, lengthy fantasy combat, as our barbarian keeps getting seduced into serving the enemy and that damned magic wheel keeps healing the bad guys! 


Monday, December 21, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 39

In which we switch Boone out for Veronica and start trying to boost Boone's good opinion of us by helping out the NCR. First stop: Camp Forlorn Hope and the mystery of some missing medical supplies. 


Sunday, December 20, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 30

Dark Elves playing Death Metal? The battle to cleanse the fifth floor of evil influences continues as we crash a concert that's only moderately more dangerous and full of berserkers than your average mosh pit.

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 21 (NSFW)

Will Larry escape from his perfect world? Will he be able to save his Pi from digital oblivion? What about the rest of the world? And what about that prophecy Larry was meant to fulfill and the arranged marriage he skipped out on to go chasing after Faith? Shockingly, all these questions will be answered in the thrilling conclusion and happy ending (Hee-hee!) of Wet Dreams Dry Twice!

 

Friday, December 18, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 20 (NSFW)

It's Inception, 80's style, as Larry finds himself living his perfect day over and over, with his wife Piper waiting on him hand and foot. Is this a dream? Is it Heaven? Or is it one more exercise in repetition as we enter the climax of the game?

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 19 (NSFW)

In which we face Wang and discover it is possible to have too much of a good thing. Now Larry and all his cunning are the only thing capable of saving the world from ecstatic exhaustion.

Yeah. We're screwed.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 18 (NSFW)

In which we once again navigate the maze under Prune HQ, armed with a new set of directions. This time we need to find the smuggler of the Resistance and another familiar face before seeking out the Dark Net and the special equipment we need to shut down the PiBots. Unfortunately, this section is a little glitchy. Thankfully, the good ol' save-scumming trick works. 


Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 17 (NSFW)

In which we must navigate the labyrinth under Prune Headquarters to locate the Resistance and their mysterious leader El Comandante! This chapter is a little heavy on conversation and exposition, but, to be fair, it takes a while to get Larry to understand what's going on and what he has to do to stop Wang and his PiBot army. 


Monday, December 14, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 16 (NSFW)

In which, having survived certain death being thrown into a volcano, we now have to tear apart a supervillain's lair to repair a KGB helicopter and save the woman of our dreams... right after a mini-game that involves fapping and flying at the same time.

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 15 (NSFW)

In which, in order to win over Faith and the lesbian cannibals, we must help the ghost of a nun experience Le Petit Mort. This requires Larry undergo a petit mort of his own and that we create a body double for our new... friend Swingle.

Friday, December 11, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 38

In which, having helped the Boomers as much as we can, we head west to Camp McCarran as I try and fail, to trigger the dialogue that initiates Veronica's companion quest, as we take on some jobs working for the Science wing of the NCR.

Thursday, December 10, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 29

In which, having recovered the magic faucet, we finally complete the last of our side quests, and get back to the main storyline and a bar brawl with a bunch of drunken, farting orcs. 


Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 14 (NSFW)

In which we explore the ruins of an ancient civilization and clear a pathway to the Cave of Cosmic Cognition... by running the ultimate LARP and exploiting the only people on the planet nerdier than Larry.


Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 37

In which, having earned the trust of the Boomers, we embark on a quest to raise a sunken bomber from Lake Mead. Get ready for a whole lot of Cazadore fighting!

Monday, December 7, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 28

In which we cash in the last of our side-quests and level the rest of the party up to Level 5, only to find there's still one side quest left: the search for the magic faucet! 
 

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 13 (NSFW)

In which an encounter with a senile super spy yields the third keystone, before we go off on a search for the lost grave of Lady Gobbledick. Which will become even more lost after Larry discovers it. Also, I show how to solve the most annoying puzzle in the game, though I'm not quite sure how you're supposed to solve it beyond random guessing!

Friday, December 4, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 36

In which we start helping the Boomers with solving all their petty problems. These range from performing delicate surgery to hooking the apprentice engineer up with his dream girl. A Doctor's work is never done...especially when that work involves quietly stealing every pencil in the base. 

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 12 (NSFW)

In which we sneak aboard a submarine to recover the second piece of the Cosmic Keystone and discover two more achievements and another way Larry can die. We also solve the mystery of the Vagina Denata plant, but more importantly Larry gets laid! Twice!

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 35

In which we seek out the second of the Brotherhood of Steel spies and explore what remains of the middle mountain paths before heading back to the Boomer base and learning their secret history. It's not much of a secret but it's an easy achievement for scoring brownie points with the heavily armed isolationists.

 

Monday, November 30, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 26

In which, after fighting another group of rats (seriously, I thought we were high enough level to be past this) we start exploring the lair of The Stalkers; a creepy gang of thieves and assassins, not the kind with no sense of personal boundaries and romantic hangups.

Sunday, November 29, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 11 (NSFW)

In which we explore the rest of Muffington Island, which amounts to the town square of the lesbianibals and a cemetery, and set about recovering the first of the four pieces of the key to the Cavern of Cosmic Cognition. Get ready to bargain with pirates and hold your breath for ten minutes! (Are we sure this isn't a Monkey Island game?)

Friday, November 27, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 34

In which, after retrieving ED-E, we take up a new job for the Brotherhood of Steel elder and start seeking out his spies, only to wind up fist-fighting a bunch of Deathclaws and crashing the game.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 25

In which we finally find the way into the dungeon under the basement to finally complete that side quest to find some giant spider eggs... only to find another side quest!

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 10 (NSFW)

In which, after listening to Louis' act (it's an achievement!) we head back to Phallus Rock. Not to dance our cares away, but to face the dread Captain LeCuck and the Pirates of Clitcoin! Finally, we head back to Muffington Island, to arrange a love connection between Wendi and Otis, who are a bit confused about their feelings for one another.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 33

In which we continue to explore the area around New Vegas, make contact with Ringo at the Crimson Caravan office, consult with another doctor, make contact with the society known as the Boomers and head back to Novac to train up Willow's unarmed combat skills, just in time to fight more Legion assassins.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 9 (NSFW)

In which we start exploring new territories, meet a pair of legally distinct copyright-friendly sisters who have a thing for exploring exotic locals and find several new ways to die. We also run into some familiar faces from New Lost Wages, who are hiding in a cave trying to organize a LARP in copyright-friendly cosplay that does not bear any resemblance to the characters of a certain popular space franchise owned by an infamously litigious company.

Friday, November 20, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 32

In which, after finessing things a bit on the third floor of REPCONN, we start to explore the area between the base and New Vegas while evading Legion hit squads. Alas, we're unable to save one of the local shop keeps, but we do get a fun Wizards reference out of his death. We also find the Gun Runners, so I can finally unload some of my burdensome and useless weapons.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 23

In which, having dealt with the two side quests that distracted us last time, we get back to the side quest distracting us from the main story involving the cousin of the Priestess and an orgy in the basement. We find ourselves on the right path, as assassins try to kill us almost immediately. Unfortunately, our female party members' refusal to dance naked wearing nothing but a thin layer of honey leads to another battle...

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 8 (NSFW)

In which we crack the safe of Swingle and play around with the phone to earn an achievement. We also learn the secret lore of the Cave of Cosmic Cognition and start the search for four keystones needed to attain total awareness... or devolve into a sex-crazed deviant. Which, in Larry's case, might be an improvement. And speaking of deviants in name of improvement, we also listen to Louis' new act.

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 31

In which we return to the REPCONN facility, having unloaded all of our excess junk and STILL not having enough to get our Ballistic Fist fixed. Thankfully, we have a fairly easy time sneaking around the place... until we get to the third floor and a computer hacking check I can't make. Should have maxxed out Science sooner...

 

Monday, November 16, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 22

In which, after solving a surprisingly simple puzzle involving a fable, we set out to help the priestess and her uncle with a personal matter only to become awash with side quests as the ranger gets conned and poisoned and a chef makes us an offer we can't refuse.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 7 (NSFW)

In which Larry almost makes his way to Muffington Island scot free, but gets all tied up... in a good way. The good news is we do find Faith. The bad news is we also meet the one man on Earth more perverted than Larry and a tribe of lesbian cannibal schoolgirls who want to have us for dinner. Get ready for a ton of cut scenes, folks! 

Friday, November 13, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 30

In which we abandon the Deathclaw mobs for the moment to explore the area around the REPCONN base before entering the base itself. We have our first encounter with the raiders known as the Fiends and once again have audio troubles. 

 (Apologies for the quality of the audio in this episode. I have no idea what caused the reverb issues after the first minute but promise from now on I'll be checking each episode after recording.)

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 21

In which we explore the tomb and find a back way into the orc bar, before running across the bane of all adventurers; side-quests. But before we can help the priestess with some family business, first we must help an unfortunate courier recover his stolen gold. Well, MUST is a bit strong... but we do it anyway.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 6 (NSFW)

In which we solve the problem of the foul-smelling pool water and earn our freedom. Unfortunately, we still have no idea what happened to Faith and where she's gone. This means it's time for Larry to play detective and for us to pixel hunt every inch of the landscape through a pair of binoculars.

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 29

In which our effort to clear the road north of Sloan of Deathclaws becomes an ill-advised effort to try and get the Deathclaws to fight the Legion Assassin Squad that is chasing us. It works pretty well up until the game crashes.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 5 (NSFW)

In which, after finishing our inspection of the hotel grounds and discovering our raft has been confiscated by a recycle-happy activist named Emma, we set about addressing Becky's complaints, riding the buffet of a captive pig and concocting a selfie worthy (if inedible) alcoholic drink.

Friday, November 6, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 28

In which we take care of some housekeeping, solving the mystery of the missing laser pistol, return to Black Mountain to rescue Raul the ghoul mechanic and head back to Sloan to enjoy a Deathclaw Egg Omelet.

Thursday, November 5, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 19

In which we find ourselves bedeviled by the magic of Orktoberfeast; a festival of booze and bear stew that leaves us drunk and disorderly on another floor of the dungeon. We need a magic potion to save our livers, which means its time for a side quest through the first floor gardens!

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 4 (NSFW)

In which we run info a familiar, friendly face. Well, a familiar face, at any rate. Becky Butter is back and the hotel is at the mercy of Becky and all her on-line followers. Freedom is ours for the taking if we can just find a way to address all of Becky's petty complaints. (Though in fairness, the pool and the buffet are disgusting.) We also meet a cool hippie beg-packer named Shauni who, sadly, we do not get the chance to romance despite her apparently being willing to do anything to sleep in a real bed for a night and us having access to a room. Oh well...

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 27

In which the search for a missing laser pistol leads us into Scorpion Gulch - another of the many trouble spots meant to keep players from wandering off the tracks the game designers laid for the early part of the game. Shame we don't trip the trigger that lets us actually FIND said pistol. But hey - at least we have a short cut to the HELIOS base now.

Monday, November 2, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 18

In which we finally catch up with that goblin steward and make our way to the 5th Floor, only to learn just how well and truly screwed we are by this curse on our heads. Thankfully, there's a demon willing to help us. Unfortunately, there's a demon wiling to help us! 

Sunday, November 1, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 3 (NSFW)

In which we become a prisoner of Governor Marley. We're a prisoner of love, true, but still trapped on her island until we pay a fine and recover our junk, er raft. Still, there's quite a lot to see and do around the hotel... including Governor Marley herself!

Friday, October 30, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 26

In which, after discovering a group of Great Khans who have chosen the worst possible place to wait and execute a drug deal, we return to Sloan, reap the rewards of our Deathclaw-slaying efforts and round the day off with a trip to Hidden Valley and the secret Brotherhood of Steel bunker, where we start endearing ourselves to Veronica's people.

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 17

In which, having realized the map has a handy feature that shows us where to go when doing our quests, we return to the first floor, start breaking down the doors the Ogre can break down now, and head into the bathrooms to rescue the miniature giant hamster Moo.

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 2 (NSFW)

In which we start trying to assemble a boat so we can get out of Cancum and set sail to find our lost Faith. Naturally, it doesn't go according to plan...

 

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 25

Do you want to see a man die repeatedly while battling a Mother Deathclaw? I hope so! Because that's pretty much all this episode is.

Monday, October 26, 2020

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Part 1 (NSFW)

In which we start preparing Larry for his wedding only to discover that Faith Less, the woman of Larry's dreams, is alive and somewhere out there. This leads us to start seeking a way out of Cancum and our first death. (Don't worry! It's all for an achievement!)

 

Friday, October 23, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Dry Twice - Intro (NSFW)

In which El Rey sings the song of El Larry, for the benefit of those who haven't played the first game in the reboot series. Or those (like Larry) who have just forgotten everything that happened in Wet Dreams Don't Dry. We then set about the serious task of preparing Larry for marriage to the most beautiful (and only) single woman in Cancum.

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 24

In which we continue trying to clear the Deathclaws out of the Sloan Quarry. Because it isn't a Doctor Who story until you fight some unspeakable monster in a quarry.

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 23

In which after dealing with Tabitha and discovering what might have been a peaceful way to end her storyline a bit too late, we head back to Sloan and I decide to pit my companions against the Deathclaws of Quarry Junction. It does not go well.

 

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Monday, October 19, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 22

In which I set out to show you the back way up Black Mountain and discover it to be far easier than I remembered. So after accidentally finding a different clear path of Black Mountain, I show you how it is meant to be done... fighting your way past every damn Super Mutant and Nightkin that gets in your way.

(Apologies for the distorted audio that makes me sound like Peter Frampton. I wasn't able to fix it and didn't have time to rerecord the episode.)

 

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 13

In which, after clearing out the gambling den in the basement and taking a quest to help a ranger find his hamster companion, we return to our wizard patrons and discover we must travel to the fourth floor and fight a bunch of goblins in order to find the key to the fifth floor.

 

Friday, October 16, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 21

In which, after we display a fancy mod that replaces the usual Fallout New Vegas opening music with the Doctor Who theme, we go into the HELIOS 1 base to give power to the people, but Willow thinks this is a good time to have a heart-to-heart about our relationship... while twerking in the middle of a robot attack.
 
Fallout Who Vegas Doctor Presets: https://www.nexusmods.com/newvegas/mods/66991

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 20

In which, after playing hostage negotiator and learning a bit more about the man who tried to kill us, we head back to the HELIOS base and take up the task of improving its efficiency without arming the doomsday device in the basement.

 

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 11

In which, having slain some rats and secured more wine for the tavern, we set out on a noble quest to retrieve some prize chickens that have somehow been set loose on the second floor. Alas, there's also the matter of a magical sleeping curse on the guards to be investigated...

 

Monday, October 12, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 19

In which we take a slight detour from Boulder City to pick up another companion: Veronica. Who, thanks to another mod, is the spitting image of her voice actress Felicia Day. Well, she may look a bit more like Alyson Hannigan in all honesty. But hey - snarky redhead geek girl, either way!


 

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 10

In which, after leveling up, distributing our loot, and a quick trip to the shops to buy potions and buy more loot, we perform the one newbie adventurer task the game hasn't tackled so far: sending us into the basement to clear out the rats.

 

Friday, October 9, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 18

In which, after playing a little Caravan an determining the local shopkeepers don't much care if we're a confessed murderer, we pick up the trail of the man who shot us and head north of Novac, taking in the sights (i.e. Helios One) and having our first encounter with a flock of Cazadors.

 

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 9

In which, after besting the latest monsters to be summoned from the amulet we acquired, we make a fateful choice about our party make-up and undertake the first of two quests to win the aid of some wizards in lifting a curse by acquiring a magical cheese wheel through means of questionable legality.

 

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 17

In which, having survived a game crash and having cleared out the REPCONN basement, the way is clear for the Bright Followers to make their way to the Promised Land. But first we have to help Chris get what he needs to fix the rockets and cope with a sudden crisis of faith... before the game crashes again.

 

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 8

In which, after testing out the Ogre's newfound ability to break down barricaded doors, we go chasing after the mysterious thief our new priestess friend seeks. Surprise! It's our missing buddy, possessed by a dark power...

Monday, October 5, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 16

In which we discover the source of the ghouls at REPCONN - a doomsday cult of ghouls with a loony scientist that thinks he's a ghoul. However, they aren't quite as crazy (and are a hell of a lot more agreeable) than the survivalist ghoul in the basement and the NIghtkin Super Mutants sneaking around the place. Can I work out a peaceful solution despite my trigger-happy companions?

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 7

In which we finally find that special wizard outfit and run into a group of assassins seeking our new minstrel friend. We then make our way into the VIP area of the inn and find a new quest that involves aiding a haughty priestess in training.

Friday, October 2, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 15

In which we head out to the REPCONN base to investigate rumors of ghouls on the rampage. We find the ghouls as well as a friend of Willow, who gladly trades us his dog, earning us yet another companion to run off and smite ghouls we don't even know are there. He's no K-9, but JT is rather awesome. And a good boy.

 

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 6

In which, denied entry to the VIP area of the inn, we seek out the aid of a bard to get our wizardess a new outfit and indulge in the first rule of RPGs - if it's not nailed down, take it. And if it is nailed down, let the barbarian try lifting it.

 

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 14

In which we meet Boone - a sniper with a troubled soul - and start solving the mystery of who sold his wife to the Legion while getting to know the rest of the people of Novac. We also tackle the mystery of who is killing the local cattle and round things off with a raid on a Legion-occupied city. A Doctor's work is never done!

 

Monday, September 28, 2020

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 4

In which we journey to that place where all quests begin and end: the inn. Sadly, we get no chance to quaff ale and dally with wenches, as a paladin recruits us to go after a familiar sounding dwarf.

 

Friday, September 25, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 12

In which we wander the wasteland south of Novac at night looking for the Abandoned Farmstead Willow wanted us to find, only to uncover a town besieged by the Legion, radiation and (now) ghouls. We also raid a Legion camp to rescue some captured Power Gangers, fight some bikers and encounter another one of the creatures meant to keep us on the plot railroad - the blind Deathclaw!

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 11

In which, after confronting our first Legion Assassin Squad (they REALLY do not like me already) we reach the town of Novac and track down the gang that stole Willow's stuff.

   

Monday, September 21, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 10

In which, after a quick side-trip to get some of that famous Primm Radscorpion casserole, we head out east from Nipton and have our first encounters with a pack of Nightstalkers and a random Legion patrol attacking some traveling merchants. Shame we're faster about responding to the sounds of gunfire than the NCR troops we ran into right before that.

 

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Starman Plays The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk : The Amulet Of Chaos - Part 1

In which we enter into the Dungeon of Naheulbeuk - a new Dungeons and Dragons parody game which plays like Neverwinter Nights but funnier and less buggy - and our party immediately gets split up. (Pro-Tip: Never split the party. It never ends well)

Friday, September 18, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 9

In which we start trying to clear the road of the giant ant hordes that somehow moved in after we safely passed down them without incident. We also deal with some bandits, a probable seduction turned robbery gone bad and round things off with our first encounter with Ceasar's Legion. Which is promptly followed by our first butt-kicking of a Legion patrol. It won't be the last.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 8

A busy chapter, in which we pick up a new companion named Willow (courtesy of one of the best mods made for New Vegas), learn of the lost treasure tied to the Sunset Sarsaparilla Star Caps and encounter our first NCR base, where we pick up a few jobs and meet another interesting cowgirl named Cass. (Mythology gag - she's the estranged daughter of Cassidy from Fallout 2!)

Willow - A Better Companion Experience: https://www.nexusmods.com/newvegas/mods/41779


 

Monday, September 14, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 7

In which, having saved Primm from the Powder Gangsters (or whatever they call themselves) we set about tinkering with a broken drone named ED-E and build ourselves a robot friend. It's no Bessie or K-9, but he'll do quite nicely.


Friday, September 11, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 6

In which we explore Primm, which means a trip to the one casino before going into the other casino to fight some Powder Gangers and try to save the local deputy.... which leads to us taking up the job of finding a new sheriff for the town and seeking an.... unorthodox solution to restoring law to this one-horse town.

 

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 5

In which we set about preparing to defend Goodpsrings from the Power Gangers, before moving south to Primm and our first encounter with the NCR and a city in turmoil that the military can't save. Sounds like a town in need of a Doctor.

Monday, September 7, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 4

In which we explore a coyote-infested cave before heading on to the town of Sloan so I can demonstrate how the game keeps you from heading north along the freeway early on by miraculously spawning Deathclaws no matter where you go.


Friday, September 4, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 3

In which we start exploring the area around Goodsprings some more, clear out the local coyote population and discover it's all but impossible to start the game as an unarmed fighter. We also talk to this other courier who has run afoul of the Powder Gangers and see about helping him, while doing a little gambling.

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 2

In which we take on a mission of mercy to save some poor woman from a horde of geckos only to learn the first lesson of Fallout: Trust No One. We then return to Goodpsrings, just in time to use our Venusian Karate skills to take down a bully, before we meet the local bar owner and check out the general store.

Monday, August 31, 2020

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Part 1

In which I arrive in Goodsprings and (after a quick demonstration of how impossible it is to leave Goodsprings by heading north)  meet a charming and heavily armed young lady named Sunny Smiles, who guides us through the tutorial.

Fallout: New Vegas - I Am The Doctor - Intro

Because You Demanded It! (You being everyone who voted in my Twitter/Facebook poll.)

In which I explain how I came to make a Doctor Who mod for Fallout: New Vegas based around the Third Doctor winding up in the Mojave Wasteland during the time of the classic story "Inferno" and being mistaken for The Courier and why I'll now be doing a play through for the game based on that idea.

MODS USED FOR PLAY THROUGH

I Am The Doctor - Third Doctor - Doctor Who Save: https://www.nexusmods.com/newvegas/mods/39578/

FOWV - Mark III Classic Sonic Screwdriver:
https://www.nexusmods.com/newvegas/mods/38695


Friday, August 28, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 85

In which, in memory of Cassidy, we close out our Fallout 2 playthrough with a rampage through Vault City, killing the fascists who run the place, starting with First Citizen Lynette.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 84

In which, after discovering my car DOES still need gas once the game is won, we find out I don't have the version of the game where you get a special mod for the car after the game is over. But we do get a special bonus from Miss Kitty before making our way to Vault 13, picking up a talking Deathclaw companion and heading to Vault City to play with the computers and become a god.

Monday, August 24, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 83

In which, having saved the world from the Enclave (but failing to save Cassidy) we start exploring the Wasteland (such as it is) and all the things you can do once you beat the game. This includes making Miss Kitty at the Cat's Paw your new regular Saturday Night Thing, a random encounter the Star Trek fans may find amusing, finally becoming a Porn Star and acquiring a copy of the Fallout 2 Hintbook.


Saturday, August 22, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 82

The SNAFUED Conclusion - In which we make our daring escape from the Enclave base and fight our way through a metric fookton of soldiers.

 Unfortunately, the sound for this is WAY the hell out of synch because of a copyright claim being filed because of the end credits music and the experimental YouTube music remover just cutting the sound completely and rolling it back several seconds.And since I recorded all this on my old computer and didn't save the original video file, I couldn't reformat it. Sorry folks.

Thursday, August 20, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 81

In which, rather than race to the surface in the thrilling conclusion of Fallout 2, we take a step back to see what might happen if I try and talk to the President of the Enclave instead of just killing him.


Monday, August 17, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 80

In which we descend into the bowels of the Enclave, in search of a super-computer to blow up. The good news is I'm able to persuade a scientist of the futility of his Nazi ways and get him to help kill his own people. The bad news is that still leaves me with a bunch of robots and jerks in Power Armor to fight.

Saturday, August 15, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 79

In which we attempt a stealthy invasion of the Enclave base and discover where our missing tribe has been taken. But before we can start working to get them out of here, we have to deal with an annoying and utterly random button-pushing puzzle.

 

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 78

In which we finally beat the Hubologists, finally make our way across San Francisco, finally meet the Shi Emperor and finally get on the road (or ocean) to the Enclave's secret base.


Monday, August 10, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 77

In which I reveal how to escape from the Hubologist base (in this version of the game, anyway) and set about killing the rest of them before we get trapped by the Lag again.

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 76

In which, after some confusion about whether or not the spirits are willing to talk, we set about getting some Hardened Power Armor (giggity!) and killing off the Hubologists. Because seriously - screw those guys!

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 75

In which we rescue Badger's girlfriend and finally clear the hold of aliens and mutants. Shame we get nailed by the Lag Beast once again on the way to finish getting the tanker ready to go.


Monday, August 3, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 74

In which my plans to finish clearing the hold of aliens and mutants is thwarted by my need to resupply my party, sell loot and the freaking game lag!


Friday, July 31, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 73

In which a good deed pays off and we start trying to get the tanker in San Francisco up and running... which requires a trip below decks and a whole lot of alien slaying.

 

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 72

In which we finally get to the bottom level of the military base and get some answers as to why the heck this place exists. But first we must face the magic of Melchior the Magnificent.

No. Really.

Monday, July 27, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 71

In which we try and get the Super Mutants to form a "conga line of death." Shame that they keep refusing to charge all at once and my party refuse to stay in the room and make the enemy come to us.


Friday, July 24, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 70

In which, in my bid to sell off all the excess weapons and such I've picked up, we stumble across the Cafe of Broken Dreams, before returning to Level 3 of the Super Mutant Base.

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 69

In which we continue fighting our way through the old Military Base and hordes of Super Mutants.

Monday, July 20, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 68

In which, after a brief lesson on the proper management of explosives, we start exploring the abandoned army base and find another army of Super Mutants. Seriously, who keeps making these things?

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 67

In which, after looting the local Brotherhood of Steel base, we check out the Hubologists; a totally unique religious order that is not parodying any other sort of religious organization, real or fictional, that is known for employing celebrity spokespeople and being heavily litigious.


Sunday, July 19, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 66

We're in the army now, as we attempt to infiltrate the Enclave base at Navarro and introduce a little anarchy.


Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 65

In which we challenge The Dragon, which somehow leads to us fighting all his followers before challenging him. Then, after we beat him, we reset the game and challenge Lo Pan instead. Because that way the forces of Evil are defeated and it is Lo Pan's followers left wandering the street lamenting and ruing the loss of their master.


Monday, July 13, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 64

In which my best laid plans to further boost my fighting skills and upgrade my sub-dermal armor to become fire-proof are ruined by a random encounter. One of these days I will remember to save after every major side-quest... but it will not be this day!


Sunday, July 12, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 63

In which we talk to the rest of the scabbers on the tanker ship and learn how to make it ship-shape once more before checking out Lo Pan's dojo and beginning the search for a missing spleen. No. Really.

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 62

In which, having finally remembered how to gas up the car, we make our way into San Francisco. Sadly, we do not get the chance to put flowers in our hair, though we do get a chance to start endearing ourselves to the Shi, as we explore the city.


Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Starman Plays Fallout 2 - Part 61

In which, lacking the perks and stats to become a porn star and the inventory to pick up any more guns from the three casinos we shot-up, we bid farewell to New Reno and return to Vault 13 only to find that something happened to the intelligent Deathclaws...


Friday, July 3, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 19 (NSFW)

In which we play through the Epilogue of Wet Dreams Don't Dry, though it's largely a prequel cut-scene showing how Eve established herself before meeting Larry. Still, we do get to take control of Eve and see what happened to her in a sequence that may set up a sequel...


Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 18 (NSFW)

It all comes down to this. Will Larry save the day and score with the woman of his dreams? Will Bill Jobs get his comeuppance? How many of you just grinned reading the word comeuppance? All of these questions and more will be answered in this, the thrilling conclusion of Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry.... at least until we play through the Epilogue.


Monday, June 29, 2020

Friday, June 26, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 16 (NSFW)

In which, after Larry completely fails to create Kelly LeBrock while making himself a sex doll using questionable science, we head south of the border to the village of Cancum and learn of the ancient prophecy of a hero who will drive away the wealthy gringos. But before we become that hero and earn the assistance of the bard El Ray, we must make some guacamole.


Thursday, June 25, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 15 (NSFW)

In which we try to break into BJ's office with Anu and wind up getting a blast from the past featuring the one man who exemplifies the spirit of the 1980s better than Larry Laffer. So much winning!

Monday, June 22, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 14 (NSFW)

It's a nice day to start again, so after completing the one puzzle that stumped me in my original play-through of this game, we set about setting up a Big Gay Wedding for Lance and Dick.


Sunday, June 21, 2020

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 13 (NSFW)

In which - having finally noticed I have a gym membership now - we check out the gym, meet the uber-active Amazon Diana and start helping Lance come to terms with his love of Dick. We also finally get to have crazy cosplay sex with Nari, but Larry still gets taken down a peg, before he gets Diana to come back to his place to get physical.


Friday, June 19, 2020

Legends of Tomorrow: Season 5, Episode 15 - Swan Thong

For a summary of the episode guide layout & categories, click here.



Plot

Trapped in a world they never made, the Legends must fight the Fates for the freedom of all that is. But there's no guarantee all of them will survive the battle to come or that the world will return to what they remember...


Influences

1984 (
the aesthetic of Loomworld) and Night At The Museum (the battle with the Encores in the museum)


Goofs

For some reason, the Encores let The Legends leave the room to grab weapons from the Hall of Bad Ideas.

Mona and Gary just disappear from the episode and aren't there for the final part. (Then again, neither of them would fit in at a punk show.)


Performances

The whole cast bring their A-game, but if we have to single out a single MVP, it has to be given to Tala Ashe for playing both Zaris.


Artistry

The mock commercial for the FateWatch looks like a real commercial.

The FX work to get the two Zaris to interact is flawless.


Technobabble/Arcana

Magical power usually passes from mother to daughter. As Natalie Louge was a natural conduit for magic, so too is Astra.

Without Gideon to power the Waverider, the only way to make it able to fly manually is to use a superconductor to transfer a huge surge of energy to the Time Core. In this case, Zari uses Nate in his steel form and a pair of jumper cables. 

When a god dies, any gift they bestowed upon a mortal dies with them. In this case, Sara's sight is restored and her second-sight disappears after Atropos dies.

While trying to repair Gideon, Behrad and Zari 1.0 reroute the navigation system and patch into a secondary hard drive.

John works a sleeping spell on Charlie to knock her out.

Zari 1.0 figues out a way to track the Loom using the FateWatch, but it requires an external computer with GPS and WiFi capabilities. She winds up dissecting Zari 2.0's smartphone to get the parts she needs.

John works a spell that lets him phase through the floor to avoid getting hit.


Dialogue Triumphs

Lachesis: Clotho... I have let you play your childish game long enough. It is time to grow up and face the music. 
Charlie: The Legends are my friends. 
Lachesis: Are they? Time and again they have sown chaos into this world. 
Charlie:Well, sometimes they screw things up for the better. I mean, think about it. Encores, that wasn't their fault, and they've been mopping that up all year. 
Lachesis: That's true. The Encores are not the Legends' fault. They're yours. Ambitious villains are the product of the chaos you birthed.(gesturing to the crowd of worshipers)  Look at these people now! Do you see a future Joseph Stalin amongst these lambs? Of the three of us, you always loved these mortal creatures best. What do you think they would want? More choices or a lifetime of peace?

(Nate is standing by the Waverider controls holding both clips of a pair of jumper-cables.)
Nate: You sure this is going to work?
Zari 1.0: Honestly, I'm 60/40. But I believe in you.

Nate: I don't want to do this.
Zari 1.0: I know. (kisses him)

(The Legends look around and see that everyone is talking into their watches, asking them what to do next. They also see the ads for some device called a FateWatch.)
Ava: Uh, what are the chances that everyone's watches got a weird update over the last four months?
John: I'd say one in a monkey's ass, love. 
Sara: Great. So not only do Charlie and her sister have the Loom back, but now it's wearable.

Zari 1.0: I'm hanging out with myself and myself has the hots for John Constantine.

(Astra has told John about how she abandoned the memory of her mother to survive Hell.)
John: You listen to me, all right? You are still her daughter.
Astra: (chuckles) Whose? Natalie or Lachesis? 

Sara: We were all in our own worlds, but a twist in our stories brought us together and made us a family. 
Charlie: But humanity, they've made so many mistakes. 
Sara: Sometimes a mistake is really just destiny. 
Charlie: What, you learn that being a Paragon? 
Sara: No, I learned that being a person

(Zari 2.0 and John are making out in mid-search for the Loom of Fate. Zari 1.0 comes in over the comms)
Zari 1.0: Guys, I think we found it.
(Zari 2.0 reluctantly pulls away from John.)
Zari 2.0: (sighs) I'm the worst.

Zari 1.0: I'm gonna miss you... so much.
Nate: Me too. 
Zari 1.0: You know I have to do this, right?
Nate: (sighing) Yeah.
Zari 1.0: I just wish... I wish I was leaving you with some... something... 
Nate: You... you are, and you have. I mean... I've lost everything at Heyworld... all of our memories, but you brought those back to me. Now I get to remember the woman I love forever. 
(The two kiss deeply.)
Nate: No regrets. 
Zari 1.0: No regrets. 

(Everyone is watching The Smell perform)
Behrad: Weren't they dead?
Nate: (shrugs) I mean, who hasn't died?


Continuity

The Fates have a temple where people can petition them to change reality on their behalf.

The Legends split up. Nate, Zari 1.0, Ava,and Mick are on one team. Sara, Astra, John, Zari 2.0 and Behrad are on the other.

The first team runs into Gary and Mona, who guess that the Waverider was taken to The Forbidden Dump along with all the other artifacts that conflict with the new reality.

Gary and Mona abandon the Legends at the dump because it will be suspicious if they are gone for too long.

Behrad is experiencing chest pains, which he blames as acid reflux from too much green mush.

The second team are recognized as the actors from the shows by a group of fans. John agrees to give them an autograph in exchange for their clothes, which are used to infiltrate the Fates' temple and destroy the Loom of Fate.

Atropos and Lachesis figure out the Legends have escaped when they see the man wearing Constantine's clothes in line at the temple and after one woman asks for her shows to be uncancelled.. 

Sara cannot see the Loom, but can feel the energy of it through her foresight. 

Once they find the Waverider, Mick leaves to find Lita.

John plans to use Astra as a magical conduit to juice up his own spell so he can disrupt the Loom of Fate. Unfortunately, the spell fails after Asttra starts having visions of Lachesis instead of thinking of her mother.

Gideon was removed form the Waverider, makig it all but impossible for the ship to function normally.

Zari is able to jump-start the Waverider using Nate in his steel form as a super-conductor.

Sara is able to hold her own in a fight with Atropos, thanks to her power to see the future. 

The Loom is destroyed after Sara cuts Atropos' life thread after Zari 2.0 and Behrad blast her into the Loom with their totem.

The Legends escape in the Waverider but just barely manage a time jump and crash in the Forbdiden Dump again. 

Sara's sight is restored but she can no longer see the future. John says this means Atropos must be dead, since she was the source of Sara's power. 

The Legends find out they jumped four months into the future.  The world has now changed so that everyone is dependent on a new electronic device, the FateWatch, to tell them what to do.

In Loomworld 2.0, the Temple of The Fates is now a history museum devoted to showcasing "the truth about free will and the atrocities that it brought upon humankind."

The museum features a Hall of Bad Ideas, a Hall of Villains and a a Hall of Atrocities.

The Hall of Bad Ideas contains displays devoted to the Flat Earth theory, spring-shoes, the Shake-Weight, energy drinks, glitter, the Flowbee, the pogo-stick, cigarettes (much to Constantine's annoyance) and Sisqo's "Thong Song".

Nate, unsurprisingly, likes the Thong Song.

Behrad has a flashback to his original death at the hands of ARGUS agents in the pre-Crisis timeline while trying to repair Gideon.

The Hall of Villains contains displays devoted to an unnamed caveman, an unidentified figure in gladiator armor, Charles Manson, General Custer, Joseph Stalin (#10), Marie Antoinette (#12), Vlad the Impaler (#14), Caligula and the Legends (#2). 

The Legend display shows Sara, Ava, John, Mick, Behrad and Nate, with Sara and Nate in their superhero suits.

Mick, Lita, Gary and Mona show up at the Waverider. Mick says it has been four months since they vanished.

According to Mona, when the Loom of Fate was destroyed, people panicked as their memories of the old world came flooding back and nobody could remember what was real or not or what to do. 

Charlie is living in the museum as the #1 ranked villain.

Left all alone, Charlie was broken by Lachesis and convinced she was responsible for all the bad things in the world.

According to Charlie, Lachesis rebuilt the Loom and restored order. 

Astra reveals to John that the price of Lachesis protection in Hell was abandoning her humanity.

The Legends cite The Beatles and he musical Mama Mi 2a! as good things that came of free will, trying to cheer up Charlie. Charlie counters with the fact that The Beatles also inspired Charles Manson's cult and ABBA nearly inspired Napoleon to kill The Legends (311). 

Charlie also cites the song "Octopus Garden" as one of humanity's greatest mistakes. Gary considers it one of the best things to come of free will. 

Zari 1.0 builds a device to track the signal of the Loom of Fate.

The Loom is tracked to somewhere inside the former Clotho Studio's building.

The Loom is revealed to be Gideon, who has been reprogrammed to run the FateWatch program and tell everyone what to do.

Zari 2.0 disables the Loom network by unplugging Gideon.

Astra replaces Charlie during the grand opening of the museum and calls Lachesis out, daring her to smite her and pointing out she can't do it.

The villain "displays" in the museum are revealed to be paralyzed Encores.

Lita breaks Charlie out of her funk by pointing out that she's the product of complete and utter chaos and that life may be messy but that makes it beautiful. 

Charlie and Lita deiver the cache of Hell-Weapons to the rest of the Legends so they can finally end the Encores.

Charlie confronts Lachesis and forgives her for everything she did. She doesn't kill her, leaving her to live out her life as an ordinary mortal.

Gideon is rebooted.

Behrad's chest pains are revealed to be the result of his wounds from the original timeline reopening because of the presence of Zari 1.0.

Zari 1.0 goes back inside the Totem to save Behrad's life.

The Legends go to London in 1977 to watch The Smell (who have apparently been resurrected post-Loomworld) perform.

Charlie sings a punk rock cover of the Mister Parker's Cul-De-Sac theme.

The Smell are apparently Lita's favorite punk band.

Mick agrees to take Lita back in time to see the Runaways play next weekend.

John asks Astra what she plans to do now. She says she thinks she'll live in this place in the sticks and that she thinks she has the rent covered. This leads her to gives John his soul coin.

Charlie decides to stay in 1977 with The Smell.

Sara gets abducted by some kind of alien tractor beam which the rest of the team fail to notice.


Location

Loomworld
Loomworld 2.0
London, England - 1977


The Bottom Line

A fun finale, whose only flaw is trying too hard to set up a fight-scene to the Thong Song to justify the punny title. Still, for a show famous for its great cliff-hanger endings at the end of the season, this one may be the best yet. It will be a long wait for Season 6 and the Legends going into space.

Legends of Tomorrow: Season 5, Episode 14 - The One Where We're Trapped on TV

For a summary of the episode guide layout & categories, click here.



Plot

The good news is that Charlie managed to save the other Legends while rebuilding the world with her sisters and placing humanity firmly under The Fates' control. The bad news is she brought them back as characters in the new Loomworld's most popular television series. Can they fight their way out of their new lives and back to reality?


Influences

Stay Tuned (the heroes having to escape a TV world), 1984 (the aesthetic of Loomworld), Friends (The Ultimate Buds segments), Downtown Abbey (The Highcastle Abbey segments), Star Trek (the Star Trip segments) and Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan (Mick's costume is a call-out to the Ricardo Montalban Khan)


Performances

Talented though he is, I never would have imagined Matt Ryan in the role of a butler in a British period drama. Yet he does a fantastic job playing Mister Constantine.

Jess McCallan and Caity Lotz find just the right note in impersonating Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner without going over the top.


Artistry

The production team did a fantastic job of capturing the feeling of each show being parody and creating a nightmarish dystopia for Mona and Gary to escape.

The "Repress" song may be the best musical number in Arrowverse history.


Trivia Of Tomorrow

This episode marked the directorial debut of Marc Guggenheim, who was the co-creator of Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow and Vixen.

Instead of the usual intro, this episode opens with a special intro inspired by Russian propaganda posters, featuring The Fates.

The episode title is a nod to the naming convention of Friends episodes.


Technobabble/Arcana

The Loomworld verison of John Constantine reads Tarot cards and can cast a spell to send someone to someone else. This is how the Legends escape Highcastle Abbey and go to Sara Lance.

In Tarot, the Jack of Wands symbolizes daring exploits and dangerous challenges lying in the future.

There are computers in Clotho Productions that automatically spit out scripts for shows, which are connected to the life threads of people trapped within those shows.


Dialogue Triumphs

(Gary runs up to Mona on the street.)
Gary:
Do I know you? You look familiar! Do you recognize me?! My name is Gary, but most people call me Crazy Guy!
Mona: Stay away from me, you weirdo!
Gary: Yeah, they call me that too!

(Zari 1.0 is trying to puzzle out why the world changed.)
Behrad: Sis, what do you think is happening?
Zari 1.0: I think you guys fought The Fates.
Everyone Except Zari: Fates Be Praised!
Zari 1.0: ... and you lost.

Lady Astra: Well? How is he Mr. Constantine? 
Mr. Constantine: Lord Behrad is as advertised, (disdainfully) A foreigner.

(The Waverider is seen flying through space.)
Captain Lance (Voice-Over): Space. The fatal frontier. These are the adventures of the USS Faterider
Ms. Sharpe  (Voice-Over): Its mission; to seek out rebellious life forms.and disobedient civilizations. And blow them up with lasers.  

(Captain Lance and Ms. Sharpe are beamed aboard the Gromulan vessel. Captain Lance immediately draws her phased and points it at Zari.)
Captain Lance : We're taking over this ship!
Zari 1.0: Sure. That works. We're your crew, anyway.
(Captain Lance looks confused.)
Zari 1.0: I know. It's complicated, but we're actually from an alternate timeline where you're our captains.
Ms. Sharpe: You're our crew?
Mr. Constantine: May I interest you in some rare Gromulan tea?
Lady Astra: Oh, it is grand to see lady adventurers in pantaloons! 
Captain Lance: ... what kind of Gromulans are you?
Behrad and Nate: Ultimate buds!
Zari: All right, yeah. I know. It's hard to believe-
Captain Lance: No. It makes perfect sense.
Ms. Sharpe: We encounter this sort of thing all the time. You're probably our crew from an alternate timeline and you've been trapped in some sort of... judging by your mannerisms, late and early 20th Century prison dimension... which calls into question if we ourselves are existing in a prison dimension. It's perfectly logical.
Zari 1.0: (shaking her head) Ava, I love you. 

John: Astra, look at me. What have I got to show for myself? 38 crap years of pain and broken promises. You wanna know what my original sin was? It was you, Astra. I rail against the angels and demons for being arrogant bastards, but I'm worse than the bloody lot of them. You know, I thought I could use your innocent soul as a bargaining chip to save your mother. Bollocks! If you're happy here, then... I will spend an eternity as ruddy Mr. Constantine trying to make it up to you and Natalie.
Astra: Is John Constantine really capable of such a selfless act?
(John steps back and assumes a proper parade-rest position, with his hands resting behind his back. When he speaks, it is with an upper-class British accent.) 
John: Would it be acceptable to dine at half-past seven, Lady Astra? Mrs. Hutchens is running a trifle late.
Astra: (smiling) Perfectly acceptable, Mister. Constantine.

Sara: Ava, life is beautiful and terrible. All at the same time. But if we're only living part of it, we're not living at all.


Continuity

In the new reality, Mona Wu works in the Historical Sanitation Department. As the episode opens, she has just rewritten the history of Spartacus to make him a good worker who never caused trouble instead of the leader of a famous slave revolt.

One of Mona's co-workers, Geoffrey Burch, is killed by Atropos shortly after he asks Mona if she thinks that The Fates running everyone's lives is wrong.

In the new world, Gary is a street protester who is dismissed by most people for his claims that the world is wrong and The Fates are evil. 

Everyone in Loomworld eats mush. Grey mush is the most common color. Other types of mush include green mush, purple mush, sticky mush, slimy mush and blue mush. Blue mush is apparently the best.

Fate-Plus is a streaming service in Loomworld.

Mona watches a sitcom called Ultimate Buds. The main characters are Nate, Behrad and Zari. The show is a lot like Friends, with a similar over-sized loft apartment, Zari working as a chef like Monica and Nate working as an actor like Joey.

Nate is audition for the role of Robin Hood in a new show called Arrow.

The Pre-Crisis Zari emerges from the Totem and takes control of her Post-Crisis self. As revealed in 509, she has no idea what is happening in the real world and is confused by the sitcom world.

Zari 1.0 asks Nate if he remembers the other Legends and starts listing them. When she gets to Mona Wu, Mona (in the real world) wonders why the people on TV are talking about her.

Zari knocks down a door in the apartment. This leads into Constantine's house, which is apparently now the setting of a British period drama called Highcastle Abbey

John Constantine is the butler of the Logue family. Highcastle Abbey is the ancestral home of the Logue family, currently headed by Lady Natalie Logue. It is located in Highcastle, Yorkshire.

Lady Natalie is currently trying to arrange a marriage for her daughter, Lady Astra, to Lord Behrad, who has apparently been written into the show as a Persian nobleman and Nate is his valet.

John is still able to do magic, but he tries not to, treating it as scandalous that he can do such things.

Zari tries to tell John about who he was and mentions his apprentice, Gary. This leads Mona to seek out the "Crazy Guy" in the real world.

Astra tells Behrad she wishes she were a man so she could go out into the world and live a life of adventure. He says there is no reason why she couldn't do that.

Astra jumps in as John is working a ritual to teleport Zari and Nate to Sara, resulting in all of them being sent into the reality of Star Trip as aliens called Gromulans..

Gary and Mona decide they need to break into Clotho Productions - the company that makes all the TV shows now.

In the world of Star Trip, Ava and Sara are co-captains of a space-ship. Sara is the hot-tempered one. Ava is the logic-driven one.

After convincing Ava and Sara that they are all trapped in a prison dimension, Ava mentions that had detected an odd transmission from the planet Kuldezax. The transmission turns out to be Mr. Parker's Cul-De-Sac from 507.

They attempt to make contact with the transmission, resulting in a giant hand pulling the ship out of space. This is revealed to be Mr. Palmer playing with a toy of the ship.

Everyone is brought into Mr. Palmer's house as The Community Helpers. Zari is a doctor, Nate is a road worker, Behrad is a sewer repair worker, Ava is a teacher, John is a handyman, Sara is a police officer, and Astra is a fire-fighter 

Zari pleads for everyone to remember who they are. This prompts Mona to start writing into the script-writing machine, writing that it is at this point that the Legends remember who they are.

Everyone remembers the Pre-Crisis and Post-Crisis timelines, including both versions of Zari. 

It is revealed that Charlie based the new lives she created for the other Legends based on what they all said they wanted most in 513. To wit:

* Nate gets to spend the rest of his life hanging out with his friends and having fun.
* Zari gets to be with her brother.
* Astra gets to grow up with her mother.
* John gets to protect Astra and see she has a good life.
* Sara and Ava get to be together and have adventures where nobody really gets hurt.
* Mick gets to be a lovable criminal and has hair again.  

Charlie starts trying to rewrite the Mr. Parker script so that everyone goes back to the lives she made for them.

John and Astra are the last to be sent back. John is ready to fight, but Astra talks him down because she wants to see her mother and see if she's back to who she was or is just a character in a TV show.

Lady Natalie doesn't remember being part of another world, proving she's not really Astra's mom.

Sara and Ava decide to try and escape, when they get an transmission from their enemy, Dhan. This is revealed to be Mick Rory. 

Lita and her mom are revealed to be alive in Loomworld.

When Sara and Ava decide to intentionally lose the fight with Dhan, Charlie is forced to cancel the show so they don't die in the story. This brings Sara, Ava and Mick back into the real world.

Sara is once again blind in the real world.

In Highcastle Abbey, Lady Natalie gives Astra a train ticket to London so she can see the world.outside of Highcastle. This inspires Astra to ask John to take her out of the show and back to reality, which he manages with a spell.

In Ultimate Buds Zari starts ranting about mush being awful and encourages the people watching to take control of their lives.  Charlie cancels their show as well.

Charlie is able to split Zari's thread in two, so that both Zari 1.0 and Zari 2.0 are alive.

The Legends reject Charlie's offer to write them a better life and walk out to face the real world, as Charlie sadly notes that she can't help them anymore.


Location

Loomworld - 2020


The Bottom Line

Peak Legends. The parodies are funny and well-executed. The ensemble is firing on all eight cylinders. There's some great character moments and the story sets up the end of the season quite well.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 12 (NSFW)

In which we experiment with the new PiPhone and get one step closer to "nerding out" with Nari. But first we have to prove our nerd cred by finding the rarest video game module in history, as Larry goes back to where it all began and we get a ton of old-school adventure gamer Easter eggs.

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Legends of Tomorrow: Season 5, Episode 13 - I Am Legends

For a summary of the episode guide layout & categories, click here.



Plot

Stranded in Newcastle after The Fates steal their ship, The Legends must make their way to London and a Time Bureau safe-house where they can open a time corridor onto the Waverider. There's just one thing standing in their way; a night of the living dead, courtesy of Atropos. This leaves Gary fighting a one-man-war to keep the Loom of Fate out of the clutches of the Fates.  


Influences

I Am Legend (title and zombie apocalypse theme) and Shaun of the Dead (zombie apocalypse in British setting)


Performances

Amy Pemberton has a lot of fun playing the hallucinatory Gideon.

Again, the chemistry between Tala Ashe and Matt Ryan as Zari and Constantine is fantastic.


Artistry

The production team do a great job capturing the jump-scares and general aesthetic of a zombie horror movie.

The final fight scene with the zombies overwhelming the Legends is brilliantly executed.


Trivia Of Tomorrow

Zari asks John how he can not own a car given where he lives and John says he always bummed a ride. This is a nod to the comics and how John never learned how to drive, always depending on his pal Chas Chandler (who was a cab driver) to take him where he wanted, free of charge. 


Technobabble/Arcana

The Shadow Stone is an artifact in John Constantine's possession which is accompanied by a disembodied voice crying like a baby.

Zombies can sense the souls of the living and actively seek them. 

Damned souls, like John Constantine, are ignored by zombies.

John knows an Ancient Egyptian spell that can temporarily stop a person's heart, making it seem like they are dead. He uses this to temporarily "kill" Zari, so he can carry her past the zombie horde in the scrapyard and get her into the van they are stealing.

Gary knows a simple obfuscation spell that can hide small objects.


Dialogue Triumphs

Sara: (dramatic music swelling) We're going to do it! We're going to go to London! Because we are immortal superheroes!
Zari: (music cutting out) Except me.
Sara: ...except for Zari. (dramatic music swelling again) And nothing is going to stand in our way!
(Cut to: The Legends standing at a bus stop, waiting, with no dramatic music.)

John: Have you ever considered the possibility that your brother's fate is doomed in every timeline? Apparently this bloke Rip Hunter used to say that, you know, certain things are just inevitable. 
Zari: (cooly) Go to Hell, John.
John: You know, I've been there and back, love.

(Ava has just been shot in the head by a trigger-happy soldier. She gasps and sits up, groaning, the bullet popping out of her head as her wound heals and she is perfectly fine.)
Soldier:
My God! These zombies can withstand headshots!
Mick: Since when do zombies talk, you idiot?!
Soldier: These super-zombies have become sentient!

(Ava is running through their assets trying to come up with an escape plan.)
Ava: Look, we've got a guy who turns into steel. We've got a shapeshifter, right? That's freaking amazing! We've got a kickass blind assassin! And a reformed thief turned romance novelist.
Mick: Who are you calling reformed? 

Zari: If I die, I can't believe the last thing I'm going to see is your face.
John: Yeah, well ah,... better than those zombies out there, eh?
Zari: Debatable. 


Continuity

As the episode opens, the Legends have 23 hours and 45 minutes of immortality left. 

Gary went back on board the ship earlier to take care of his bunny.

Gary's pet bunny has Irritable Bowel Syndrome and bad gas.  

Astra is revealed to have let Lachesis and Atropos onto the Waverider. 

The Fates shut Gideon down.

Sara has a bad vision after taking Ava's hand but she denies it, saying she thinks the Chalice is messing with her powers. It is later revealed that she foresaw everyone dying in a bar in London.

Ava suggests they go to a Time Bureau safe-house in London and use a time corridor from there to get on the Waverider.

The Legends are forced to take the bus to London. However, they wind up hijacking the bus after it turns out nobody has any British currency on them.

Mick knows how to drive a bus.

Newcastle is 275.8 miles from London, traveling along the A1(M) and A1.

Astra agrees to help the Fates, but only if they bring back her mother, eliminate prunes from the new world and arrange for dogs to stay puppies forever. 

Sara asks Ava to take charge of the team for this mission.

John starts smoking again, but Zari stops him.

Atropos uses her powers to raise the dead throughout England.

John makes reference to fighting zombies while facing Atropos before in 509.

Gary tries to fix Gideon and electrocutes himself. When he wakes up, he sees Gideon in the same human form she had in 408.

Gideon tells Gary to hide the Loom rings.

The bus breaks down, forcing John and Zari to go look for alternate transpiration.

Nate is not good with mechanical things.

Lachesis shows Astra a vision of her mother dying in the hospital and says that is what will happen if they rewrite history to bring her back to life.

John Constantine never met Rip Hunter, but knows of him.

Atropos practices her knife-throwing with the wanted poster of Jonah Hex hanging in the parlor of the Waverider. 

Gideon seemingly distracts Atropos by bunny-hopping past the parlor.

Gary steals the Loom Rings at the prompting of Gideon.

Ava and Sara both hate free-form jazz music.

Ava survives being shot in the head by trigger-happy soldiers who think the Legends are zombies. 

Ava, Sara, Mick, Charlie and Nate are captured by soldiers who think they are "super-zombies" resistant to head-shots, who learned how to talk. 

Astra figures out that Gary is still on the Waverider, based on the half-eaten carrot he left behind.

Gideon suggests that Gary steal a Time Corridor to get the other Legends.

Joe and Zari go to a scrapyard John knows about to steal a car. Unfortunately, the scrapyard is full of zombies.

After getting briefly cornered, John is able to temporarily kill Zari with a spell and they steal a van.

John knows how to perform CPR and uses it to restore Zari to life.

The rest of the Legends are able to escape from the military transport they are locked in, after Mick remembers being locked in the same type of vehicle and that they have a weak door that Nate is able to break in his steel form. 

After escaping, The Legends are 80 miles from London when John and Zari catch up to them.

Gary is caught by Atropos, but is able to hide the rings with a simple obfuscation spell.

The Time Bureau safe-house in London is built into a pub, but it's been abandoned by the agents that were working there, as they are out dealing with the zombie apocalypse.

Ava is able to access the Time Courier storage unit but finds that none of the Couriers are charged.

Zari and John winding up making out in the backroom of the pub after having an argument.

Gary asks Astra if Lachesis showed her any good memories of her life with her mother before she died.

As they wait for the Corridor to charge up, the Legends talk about what they'd most want out of life once they use the Loom of Fate.

Nate says he wants to end every day like they are now; sitting around with his friends.

Sara and Ava say they're happy the way they are now, flying around in their ship and having adventures together.

Mick says he'd like to be a criminal again, because he misses how simple his life was then.

Zari says she just wants to be with her brother and happy, but would like to do something to make the world more inclusive.

John says he'd throw a multi-continent rager but confesses that before that he'd really want to do right by Astra and make sure she grew up right in a big house and that he could keep an eye on her.

Ava figures out that Sara was lying about not having a vision before and losing her powers and that she didn't want to tell anyone what she saw.

Sara admits that she foresaw the courier wouldn't charge before zombies managed to get in the building and killed her.  Sara says, however, that she's sure Ava will lead the team to victory and they will bring her back once they have the Loom working.

Astra's mom loves strawberries. She recalls one day her mom took her picking strawberries on a farm.

Gary talks Astra into betraying the Fates and trying to save her mother again, only for Atropos to kill her.

Ava gives the charged Courier to Charlie, saying that she trusts her to find a way to outsmart her sisters a second time. 

Charlie escapes to the Waverider.

Atropos kills Gary, after he brings the rings back and gives them to Charlie.

Charlie says she's done running and that it's time for the Fates to get to work.


Location

The roads between Newcastle and London - 2020


Untelevised Adventures

John Constantine was once called in by Old Man Joe of Joe's Scrapyard to deal with a demonically-possessed  '75 Fiat.


The Bottom Line

A brilliant send-up of zombie apocalypse movies with a lot of great character moments that utilize the whole ensemble well.