Tony Effing Harris and The No-Good, Very-Bad Day

SOURCE: Tony Harris Blasts Cosplay Girls: 'Yer Not Comics'


As you might guess from my nickname, Starman is one of my favorite comic series of all time.  Created by James Robinson and Tony Harris back in the mid-1990s, it is one of the more unappreciated classics of The Dark Age Of Comics and - in many ways - was as much a rebuttal of the ideals of The Dark Age as Kingdom Come and Astro City.  For those of you who haven't read it, despite my numerous reviews and writings on the series, let me thematically sum up what I think the series is about in a nut-shell.

Jack Knight, the youngest son of scientist/superhero Ted Knight, is forced to take on his father's identity as Starman.  A sarcastic bohemian generally more concerned about his collectibles and his junk-shop than the people around him, Jack slowly (and reluctantly) grows into the role of a hero.  More importantly, Jack slowly grows into a better person and realizes the difference between being a hero and being a good person.  By the series' end, Jack matures into both a respected hero and a genuinely good person who gives up everything he previously considered the most important things in the world in exchange for what really matters most - the people who love him.

In truth, I'm somewhat embarrassed about how I got the Starman nickname now.  I was introduced to the comic through a friend who handed me a copy of Starman #29 and said "You'd like it. This guy sounds like you."  Sure enough, Jack Knight did sound like me at the time - an elitist, pseudo-intellectual who resented anyone he saw as a poseur and a fake, who hid his own insecurities behind a veneer of sarcasm and pop-culture references.  I think it fair to say that my emotional connection to Jack Knight as a character helped me to grow as a person as I recognized his flaws in myself and sought to correct them.  I'd like to think that, like Jack, I've gotten somewhat more tolerable over time, acquired some degree of wisdom and become generally more tolerant of those whose ignorance comes form inexperience instead of willfulness. 

That makes today's news all the more painful to me - that an artist whose work I have enjoyed so much and who had always struck me as a down-to-earth and respectable man should say something that, try as I might, I cannot reconcile with the lessons that Jack Knight taught me.

Starman co-creator Tony Harris made several comments today on his Facebook wall, regarding some female cosplayers  I note this because some chose to attack Harris as if he were addressing all female cosplayers.  Indeed, before I quote from those comments, I'd like to note that many people went beyond criticizing the comments to criticizing the man... and some of these people had no clue what they were talking about, descending into libelous personal attacks that did no credit to their arguments.

They said he was attacking all female cosplayers.  He wasn't.  At the very beginning of his speech, he said he was only talking about some female cosplayers. 

They said that clearly he'd been rejected by some cosplaying babe in the past and was lashing out in revenge.  By all accounts, Harris is a happily married man and father of two and I've never heard anything to suggest otherwise.

They accused him of creating gratuitously sexist artwork.  He hasn't.  He isn't in the same league as Greg Horn, Frank Cho or Jim Balent.  Not even close.  Indeed, apart from one of his Conan The Barbarian covers and one sex-scene in Ex Machina, I'm hard pressed to think of anything he's done that I've read which had sexual conten/nudity.  As I recall, all of those were tastefully done.

That being said, let us consider Mr. Harris' comments, in bold, with my own considerations in between.



I appreciate a pretty Gal as much as the next Hetero Male. Sometimes I even go in for some racy type stuff ( keeping the comments PG for my Ladies sake) but dammit, dammit, dammit I am so sick and tired of the whole COSPLAY-Chiks. I know a few who are actually pretty cool-and BIG Shocker, love and read Comics.

A fair start.  Nice and respectful.  Language is a bit saltier than I'd go with, but I try to be even-keeled on these things.

So as in all things, they are the exception to the rule.
And here is where we start to go south - the idea that women who like comics and cosplay are the anomaly - the unicorn, as it were.

Moving on...


Heres the statement I wanna make, based on THE RULE: "Hey! Quasi-Pretty-NOT-Hot-Girl, you are more pathetic than the REAL Nerds, who YOU secretly think are REALLY PATHETIC. But we are onto you.  Some of us are aware that you are ever so average on an everyday basis. But you have a couple of things going your way. You are willing to become almost completely Naked in public, and yer either skinny( Well, some or most of you, THINK you are ) or you have Big Boobies. Notice I didnt say GREAT Boobies? 

You seriously undercut any claim you have to not being sexist when you start off insulting women's appearance/weight and then try explain that big boobs are not necessarily desirable, quantifying the difference between Big and Great.

Just saying....

 

You are what I refer to as "CON-HOT". Well not by my estimation, but according to a LOT of average Comic Book Fans who either RARELY speak to, or NEVER speak to girls. Some Virgins, ALL unconfident when it comes to girls, and the ONE thing they all have in common? The are being preyed on by YOU.

*face palms*  I don't know what's more offensive to me.

1) The stereotype that the majority of male comic book fans are hapless virgins who don't know how to talk to women.

2) The idea that most female cosplayers are some form of predatory animal or monster.

And what's so bad about being a virgin anyway?  There is such a thing as saving yourself for the right one.


You have this really awful need for attention, for people to tell you your pretty, or Hot, and the thought of guys pleasuring themselves to the memory of you hanging on them with your glossy open lips, promising them the Moon and the Stars of pleasure, just makes your head vibrate.

So... the majority of women who cosplay enjoy thinking about how many guys are masturbating while thinking about them in their costumes?

Keep that thought in mind for later.

Moving on...


After many years of watching this shit go down every 3 seconds around or in front of my booth or table at ANY given Con in the country, I put this together. Well not just me. We are LEGION. And here it is, THE REASON WHY ALL THAT, sickens us: BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMICS, BEYOND WHATEVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOU DID TO GET REF ON THE MOST MAINSTREAM CHARACTER WITH THE MOST REVEALING COSTUME EVER.

So the vast majority of women who cosplay pick the skimpiest outfits possible?

If this were even remotely close to true, I'd have seen a lot more of Phoenix Five Emma Frost this past year than Black Widow.  Or any version of Emma Frost, come to that.  


And also, if ANY of these guys that you hang on tried to talk to you out of that Con? You wouldnt give them the fucking time of day. Shut up you damned liar, no you would not. Lying, Liar Face.
 
Yes.  All these women who cosplay, - who are really quite average looking and are desperate to have their egos stroked, whom enjoy thinking about men masturbating while thinking of them in their costumes -  would never think of talking to any of you stammering male virgins outside of a con!

... wait, wha?

Seriously, if I never hear this argument again it will be too soon.  We're supposed to believe that, on the one hand, most of the women who cosplay are repulsed by the average male comic book reader and would never dream of pursuing a romantic relationship with one... but on the other hand, they are utterly dependent upon the approval of said male comic fans and will parade around in next to nothing in public in order to fuel their egos?

If that were the case, there would be a heck of a lot easier ways to get the attention of more socially-acceptable males than by cosplaying!  Hanging around a sports bar in short-shorts and a jersey for the local sports team comes to mind.

At this point, I think it's a toss-up who should feel more insulted - female cosplayers or male comic readers.

For that matter, what about male cosplayers?  Why do they do what they do? 


Yer not Comics. Your just the thing that all the Comic Book, AND mainstream press flock to at Cons. And the real reason for the Con, and the damned costumes yer parading around in? That would be Comic Book Artists, and Comic Book Writers who make all that shit up.

You know what - he's right  The mainstream press frequently is  more interested in the people who dress up at conventions than they are the creators at the convention.  I know that following Dallas Fan Days, I saw more galleries of photos than I did articles about the creators who were in attendance.  But that's the nature of visual media - you need images to hook people and people who bring superheroes to life and do it well are a perfect visual summation of the magic of comics.

Take it from a writer.  My 5000 word essays upon the themes of isolation and martyrdom in Silver Surfer are not going to get as much attention as the guy who spent six months building a screen-accurate set of Iron Man armor out of parts he scavenged from an old '72 charger and a Tandy.  And that's fine.  Creation is creation, whether you draw, paint, build, act, write or whatever and should always be honored.


That being said, I honor Tony Harris as a skilled artist.  I'm sure he's a wonderful husband, a loving father and was good to his mother.  But I'm just as sure I won't be buying any more of his work in the future.  Because I can't reconcile what he's said with any reality I want to be a part with. 

I recognize what he was trying to say.  I have encountered some women who were desperate for attention and saw conventions as an easy place to carve out a niche as a queen bee.  And there have been some Wizard World-sponsored cons I've been to where porn starlets dressed in cosplay had booths where they were trying to sell their swag.  But those women are not the majority.  They are the exception - not the rule.

I know a lot of female cosplayers.  Some of them are models.  Most of them aren't.  And I don't doubt for a moment that they all love comic books and video games and other geeky things just as much as I do.  And I don't think for a moment that they have to try to impress me. 

One Good Thing And One Bad Thing About Ex Machina #47

BAD THING: Questions just lead to further questions the closer we get to the endgame. And even as things are starting to be explained, nothing is really being explained. I suppose given the open-nature of Y: The Last Man this is not to be unexpected, but I had been hoping for some sense of closure to this series.

GOOD THING: This series still provides the best closing-page cliffhangers in comics, bar none.

The Final Verdict: Still one of the most riveting reads out there, though it seems - like Y: The Last Man before it - the series finale will leave more loose ends than it will resoulutions.

Fast Thoughts on Everything Else I Read - The Week Of 9/16/08

EX MACHINA #45- Things are heating up going into the final story arc. And I honestly have no idea what is going to happen next.

FABLES #88 - Frau Tottenkinder is up to something and Beauty is pregnant. None of this is this least bit shocking to anybody who has been paying attention for the last few issues.

Still no mention of Rose Red. Hell, Jack's attempting to corrupt Bigby and Snow's kids has been completely forgotten. I guess we're not supposed to care about Rose anymore now that the writers apparently don't.

Thoughts On Nearly Everything I Read In August

There's a few things I feel the need to write full reviews for. So apart from all those books (and all the Blackest Night tie-ins, which are going to get their own post), here are my thoughts on everything else I've read this mont.



CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #12 - The Black Colossus adaptation comes to a close but not quite soon enough for my tastes. Don't get me wrong - this was a good read. But it did feel slightly padded in the middle chapters. Some characters can benefit from decompressed storytelling but Conan is not one of them. And they fail to save the ending of the story (Conan ravishes a princess on the altar of the evil god he just saved her from being sacrificed too) from seeming cliched, even though this is probably one of the most definitive sword and sorcery tales ever.


DOCTOR WHO #2 - Your love of this issue will depend upon two factors; how much of a Doctor Who fan you are and your ability to cope with a silent-film tribute in the middle part of the issue, where the Doctor's pursuit of the villain becomes a Keystone Cops skit. Take that as you will - but note that I loved it.


DOCTOR WHO: COLD BLOODED WAR - Another Doctor/Donna tale, this one centers upon the duo being dragged into a civil war regarding sexism and monarchies in the Draconian empire. Ugly artwork distracts from a decent story where Donna does more to save the day than The Doctor. Only required reading for the most dedicated of Whovians.


EX MACHINA #44 - The plot thickens. More is revealed about the source of Mitchell Hundred's amazing powers and the purpose he was meant to serve. It is awesome. Get the trades and start from Issue #1 if you aren't already reading this book.


FABLES #87 - Oh good. After last month's origin of just how Mr. Dark escaped from his prison and a crossover which has nearly ignored the mental breakdown of one of my favorite characters in the whole series (Rose Red), I'm overjoyed to see that this issue... continues to ignore her breakdown and instead focuses upon all the bad evil magic stuff that is now running loose and the power struggle among the witches of what was the 13th Floor.

*sighs* You'd think at least Snow White would give a damn about her sister and what might have happened what with Jack raping her. But no - Red Rose doesn't even get a bloody mention, though Bigby, Beast and Cole can't stop talking about what a scoundrel Jack is without even MENTIONING Rose.


HELLBLAZER #258 - Crap. Utter crap. The art is about the same as ever - and that's not a good thing - but Milligan makes multiple continuity mistakes that only further aggravate the problems with his portrayal of John Constantine. To make a long story short, John tries to use his magic powers to resurrect his murdered girlfriend - something which, according to the widely available and very popular Hellblazer story Son of Man - you CAN NOT do with magic under any circumstances. Throw in John, who is no idiot, trying to use a magical device that depends on the user being pure... yeah. John hasn't been written this sleazily or stupid since the Brian Azzarello days. In my personal continuity, these stories DID NOT HAPPEN. Period.


JACK OF FABLES #37 - Jack is going bald and fat. Gary lost his power to make inanimate things come to life. And somewhere in the Homelands, Jack Frost - son of Jack Horner - is embarking upon a quest to become a great hero or at least a much better person than his parents. At last this book is still awesome and knows how to keep a plot thread going.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #153 - Most of the comic space is devoted toward some of the series regulars playing a Car Wars style board game, which is quite amusing. The on-going stories advance somewhat, with magical things being afoot in Bagworld and the fight for who owns Hackmaster getting ready to go into overdrive.

The Gaming At The Movie column continues to be a blight upon the printed page, with this month's column advising you on how to best rip-off the Pirates of the Caribbean movies for your D&D campaign. Yeah - I'll still clear of anything which advises me to use Jack Sparrow as an GM NPC who "wouldn't overshadow the player characters."

Son, if you're doing CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow any justice, he'll steal every scene he's in. Savvy?


POWER GIRL #4 - Pure unadulterated win. The best new book to come out this year.


RED SONJA #47 - Last issue, Sonja was racing northward against her sworn enemy toward their mutual vague goal. This issue... they are both still racing northward toward their mutual vague goal. But Sonja does kill her traitorous sister and give her niece up to another family. And then at the end of the issue, everyone is STILL racing northward toward their mutual vague goal.

The one bit of good news? Apparently the series is ending and restarting as Queen Sonja, with Mel Rubi returning as artist and a good writer this time!

Ex Machina #42 & #43

Ring Out The Old: Parts 2 and 3 continue to push this series toward an all too quickly approaching denouement as pressure begins to build for technopath superhero turned New York City Mayor Mitchell Hundred.

* The corrupt governor who has spent three years avoiding him now wants to be by his side on New Years Eve in Times Square.

* Reporter Suzanne Padilla has joined forces with The Great Machine's ex-sidekick "Kremlin" to force Hundred out of office and is following bodyguard Bradbury to a mysterious "White Box" that has been kept secret from the public in case of some possible future emergency.

* Random people on the streets of New York are being attacked by rats in broad daylight, suggesting the return of The Great Machine's archenemy - the Dr. Dolittle of Darkness - Jack Phereson.

Honestly, I can't really talk much about this comic without rehashing about 40 issues worth of backstory to fully communicate just how awesome the book in general and the current storyline in particular is. Of course, this is a book with Brian K. Vaughn writing and Tony Harris artwork - if you don't know how awesome that is by itself, there's not much I think I can do to convince you of that fact.

Check out the free preview of Issue #43 here. It depicts a nightmare scene in which Mitchell is confronted by a zombie Phereson. If that doesn't grab your attention, I don't know what else might.

Regardless, this is one of the best books to grace the shelves in a good long while. If you like what you see, go pick up the first trade, Ex Machina: The First Hundred Days and start catching up. I think you'll be glad you did.

Two Weeks Of Comic Reviews

Because I just didn't feel like writing this past week.



CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #10 - So, Conan? Do you think this month's issue of your comic was a good one?





No. No, sir you do not.

The adaptation of Robert Howard's Black Colossus continues and remains true to the spirit of that classic tale. Truman borrows quite a bit from Howard's dialogue and scenario, but does get in his own original work as he explains precisely why Conan was wandering the streets when he is discovered by the queen, who was told to hand command of her armies over to the first man she met in the street that night.

The artwork by Thomas Giorello is excellent and has grown on me to the point that I think I'm beginning to like his work slightly more than Cary Nord on the original Dark Horse Conan series.


DETECTIVE COMICS #853 - The long-awaited conclusion to Neil Gaiman's Batman story.

How is it? Well, that depends entirely upon your tolerance for Neil Gaiman and - at the same time - Grant Morrison. Because this issue manages to simultaneously be a fairly typical Gaiman story about the power of stories and a perfect continuation of Bruce's fate following Morrison's Final Crisis.

On one level, it is an examination of the concept of the death of Batman through the eyes of many characters, which concludes that the details of how Batman dies are unimportant. What matters is that the only way Batman's story can ever end is WITH the death of Batman since, by definition, the main defining characteristic of Batman is cannot ever give up his quest for justice except in the face of the ultimate ending. And yet, because the concept of Batman is so powerful, he cannot ever truly die.

On the other level, this issue does go along neatly with the how Bruce was killed in Final Crisis and the idea of The Omega Sanction, which traps the person targeted in a series of alternate realities, each worse than the previous one. Most of the realities we see are indeed worse than the main DC Comics universe and we do see Bruce being reborn.

All in all, I recommend this story to all but those who would say "Oh... it's Neil Gaiman telling another story about stories!" It is that... but so much more as well. If nothing else, the end works as a neat little tribute to Goodnight Moon.


EX MACHINA #41 - Things seem to be going into the home-stretch for the final run of the book, with Mayor Hundred setting a dangerous gamble going into the final year of his administration to leave the city forever if he can't fix the budget. Journal and Kremlin step up their plans to bring down Hundred's administration before then. And it looks as if The Great Machine's arch-enemy has returned. Nothing but set-up this time around but it looks like it's setting up one hell of an ending. I'll be sorry to see this book go.


GREEN LANTERN #40 - Okay. Time for a War of Light update.

* Former Green Lantern baddie, turned Sinestro Corps member turned Star Sapphire Corps member Fatality is out looking for John Stewart. Probably to apologize for holding a grudge about his failure to save her home planet from blowing up.

* Scar, the injured female Guardian, appears to be going more and more unbalanced. This is no surprise to those of us who read the Black Lantern back-up stories a few months ago, which she narrated as she discussed the dead loved ones of various DC Comics Heroes.

* Hal still can't get the blue ring off his hand and hoping for World Peace isn't good enough. :)

* Orange Lanterns are created when a sentient being is killed or otherwise absorbed by an Orange Lantern projection. They are then transformed into a being of orange energy, controlled directly by Agent Orange.

* Orange Lanterns appear to have the ability to absorb/devour the energy output by Green Lanterns. Even the Guardians cannot harm them directly. For some reason, this ability doesn't seem to apply to the energy of Blue Lantern rings.

It's getting heated.


HELLBLAZER #254 - I can't say I'm really enjoying Peter Mulligan's run on the book so far. It's not that it's bad, persay. But it does seem like he's trying a bit too hard to be Jamie Delano.

This story briefly continues the thread from last issue with John's latest romance blowing up in his face, intermingling with a colleague of John's asking him to use his mojo to disrupt the plans of the rich-pricks remodeling London for the 2012 Olympics. There's also flashbacks to a possible ancestor of John's, who is faced with the prospect of whoring out his daughter to escape a plague-filled London or making a literal deal with the devil.

This is all very interesting, but the flashback doesn't seem to be connected at all to the main story with John and it seems to be a slippery slope giving us a flashback without a more direct connection in a two-part story. Delano and Ennis did this sort of thing quite often and to good effect but they usually limited such stories to one issue and never cheapened themselves as to make confusion the main impetus for buying a second issue.

The art by Goran Sudzuka is crisper and cleaner than I'm used to seeing the art in Hellblazer be. In fact, I think this may well be the "brightest" the book has ever looked. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Nice as the art looks. it just seems right to me that Hellblazer should be dark as anything with more shadows than color in the artwork.


JACK OF FABLES #33 - The plot thickens with Jack's bastard son by The Winter Queen (who has now become Jack Frost somehow) leaving home to seek his long-lost father. Babe the Blue Ox dreams of being a Conan expy named Brom Wilderhart. And Jack, fed up with having to deal with Bigby Wolf for five minutes, declares that he is quitting the book, going back to Fables and taking the artist with him. Not a good time to jump onto Fables, but an enjoyable story that shows why this is the best book on the market today... along with the other two Fables books that are out now.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #32 - Well, I finally dropped this book. I just don't have the patience to wait around while DC Editorial gets their act together and gives Dwayne McDuffie to write the same kind of stories he did when he was writing Justice League Unlimited. The entire JLA idea has been put on hold because of all the A-List heroes being busy elsewhere and the Justice League concept being put in the hands of James Robinson for a mini-series.

Even as a James Robinson fan who has really been looking forward to the new Justice League, I think that stinks. But what really stinks is that Dinah Lance continues to get no respect.

This issue opened with Superman questioning her decision to shut down the Justice League of America rather than compete with Ollie and Hal's scab team. While I think Dinah acquits herself well with the argument (i.e. "you think it's okay for ME to be the leader when you, Diana and Bruce need time off?" and "the resources to unite everyone for big problems are still there - there's just no team meetings on the satellite"), it doesn't say a lot that everyone else on the team is defying her orders and continuing to meet without her. And even though they refuse to elect a new team leader and John Stewart gets a page-long speech where he explains why Dinah is the best leader the JLA ever had and the main reason he refuses to take a leadership post is because it will make it a lot easier to convince Dinah to come back if nobody is actively replacing her, it doesn't ring true.

The last few months have been like asking a gourmet chef to make you a sloppy joe and DC needs to get its' act together and free McDuuffie up to do something like - oh, I don't know - a monthly Static book?


THE LITERALS #1 - A very funny issue in which we learn a little more about Kevin Thorn and the rest of the Literals family as he goes looking for a muse as he plans to rewrite the whole world. I love this if only for the fact that Comedy is Groucho Marx with a goatee.

"If it's a muse you want, I'm the guy to ask. I've got enough good material to amuse you all day!"

I think Comedy is probably the ones pulling the strings on this story already. Because at the end of the issue, in the greatest literal pun of all time, Kevin Thorn makes a monkey out of Bigby Wolf.


RED SONJA #43 - Horrible. Just horrible.

Granting that Red Sonja has always lent herself well to cheesecake portrayals (something too many of the covers have been devoted to), the various artists working the interiors of the book had been fairly good about not going overboard on this sort of faked posing.

No more, I'm sad to say. Nearly every page of this book seems to be a splash-page and we get more up-skirt shots of Sonja (if the phrase "up-skirt" can be applied to a chainmail breechcloth) in this issue than in the other 42 issues before combined. Still, I guess we can say we now know the answer to just what Sonja wears under her armor... even though the answer (leather short shorts) doesn't make a lick of sense.

Throw in the visions of the inner form of the Cthulhu-like beastie who Sonja is fighting (four-words; green-haired Lady Godiva) and you have a lot of flash with no substance at all.


WONDER WOMAN #31 - Much has said about how, to paraphrase Kingdom Come, the minute you make The Super more important than The Man, you lose what is most important. Oddly, I don't think anyone has ever applied this same sentiment to emphasizing The Wonder over The Woman.

I mention this, because in one panel Gail Simone has managed to ground Diana and make her seem like a real person and less like an imaginary goddess. And suddenly, she's a lot more interesting and likable for it.





Is this a little silly? Yes. But it's just so overwhelmingly refreshing to see a Wonder Woman who is allowed to make jokes, ogle her boyfriend and not be The Perfect Princess or The Amazon 24/7 that I like the idea. And the more I think about it, the more it seems right in the same way that Superman is more Martha Kent's boy than the Last Son of Krypton is right.

Don't worry though - there's still plenty of Wonder in this issue, including Diana punching a missile, a ton of Spartans on winged horses storming the UN and the return of Ares and Athena. Oh, and we finally get an answer on just who this crazy Genocide woman is and we get to see a use of the power of the Gods that truly makes sense in the contents of how the Greek Gods did operate and - in fact - probably WOULD operate in the DC Universe.

I gush on the writing but I should mention that the art is very good too. Great book - highly recommended.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 3/4/09 &3/11/09

Two relatively light weeks worth of comics.



BATMAN CACOPHONY #3 - I'm a bit torn on this whole mini-series, particularly this issue.

One the one hand, Smith writes a GREAT Joker and the insights into the character here run deeper than anything done with the character in the comics in the last decade, almost equaling the insight given in The Dark Knight And the scene in which Batman tries to talk reasonably with a momentarily sedated and sane Joker - while heavily recalling a similar moment in The Killing Joke - moves past that scene while also borrowing from the conceit proposed in J.M. DeMatteis' Going Sane and Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns that without the existence of a Batman, The Joker has no reason to exist.

"I don't hate you because I'm crazy. I'm crazy because I hate you. And your death - preferably, but not necessarily, by my hand will mean an end to my reign of terror in Gotham. When you're gone, I'll stop hurting people I don't know. I'll stop with the mayhem and the murder....Yes, I want to kill you. And then? Then we'll both finally be free."

Smith also writes a great Batman, having reduced the hero to his core essence in this issue as he explains not only why he doesn't kill his enemies but also why he won't allow them to die either. It all goes back to that line from Mark Waid's Kingdom Come - "More than anyone in the world, when you scratch everything else away from Batman, you're left with someone who doesn't want to see anybody die." Batman says as much here as he is left with a slowly bleeding Joker on the rooftop of Police Headquarters.

On the other hand, while Joker and Batman are spot on, all the other defined characters are a little off... particularly Jim Gordon, who - while being perhaps the only person in the world to have more reason to want to see The Joker dead than Batman and Oracle - I can't see ever telling Batman to just stand there and let The Joker bleed to death instead of getting him to a hospital. Jim's had his own chances to kill The Joker and he's never taken them. Heck, he was the one who went out of his way to save The Joker after Batman briefly lost control during the Hush storyline. And I somehow can't see Bruce feeling too disgusted about "borrowing a good idea" from a professional criminal. After all, if memory serves he's been using icing compounds based on Mr. Freeze technology for a while now...

Overall, not a bad little mini-series. Your mileage may vary depending upon your tolerance for Joker making jokes full of sexual innuendo admits cartoon references. ("Shoot him now! Shoot him now!")


DOCTOR WHO: THE WHISPERING GALLERY ONE-SHOT - A harmless little one-shot dealing with the usual Whovian themes of emotion conquering logic. Not that bad but not that good either. Only for the Who completist.


EX MACHINA SPECIAL #4 - The only one of the Ex Machina specials to fall flat and one of the few Ex Machina stories to fail to satisfy. Less preachy than an episode of Captain Planet, this special - which centers upon Mitchell Hundred's dealings with a man who claims to have the power to talk to plants like he talks to machines - accomplishes little to make an activist's point about the failure of the comic book industry to embrace recycled paper.

The story is actually much better than it sounds in abstract but there isn't any real thrust to the story apart from the Pro-Green message. I'm the last one in the world to complain about such a message on a serious topic but a little more action would have been nice.


GREEN LANTERN CORPS #34 - Lots to catch up with here too.

* Despite his wishes to avoid his xenophobic homeworld - now under-siege by the Sinestro Corps - Sodam Yat returns to Daxam to liberate it, along with his partner Arisia.

* Mongul wins his battle for control of the Sinestro Corps, ripping out Arkillo's tongue in the process so that he "will be seen and not heard from this moment forth".

* Kyle and Soranik continue to develop their relationship, outlawed by The Guardian's Third Law about Green Lanterns loving one another.

* On a far distant planet, the many children kidnapped by Kryb begin to cry out for the mother figure they can no longer sense, thanks to Kryb's imprisonment by the Star Sapphires.

* The Green Lanterns try to imprison their first Red Lantern and it doesn't work too well.


FABLES #82 - A perfect examination of people's reactions after a funeral.

Personal story time. A little under a year ago, my friend good Daniel died. It was very sudden and in the days afterward, most of us still couldn't believe that it had happened. Some of us expected that it was all a scam to get out of paying his student loans. Some of us thought it was the set-up to a practical joke where he'd laugh at our foolishness in believing he was really dead.

And one of my friends had a dream - which she told me because she, Daniel and I were all great Doctor Who fans - that she dreamed Daniel hadn't really died but that he had to fake his death to save the world and was saving the universe even now alongside The Doctor.

It was a silly dream, of course. And yet, it was the type of thing - reality aside - Daniel would have done for a chance to sail among the stars.

My point in all this is that it is all too human for us to refuse to believe that our friends are really gone and to think of stories of how they might still be alive. And ironically, in this book where the stories are people, they are all too human too in the death of one of their own.

And that is why this book is the best on the market today.


SECRET SIX #7 - A worthy conclusion of the first story arc. But for my money, the best part of all came at the end.

Ragdoll: But we are your friends, Jervis! If we weren't, would I have found your hat for you like this, amonst all this all the death and bloodshed?

Mad Hatter: My hat! My hat! Give it to me at once, candy stripe!

Ragdoll: Of course I will, Jervis. But may I say one solitary word, first? *tossing the hat off of a bridge and into the bay below* "Fetch!"

Mad Hatter: I really very much dislike you a great deal, sir.

Ragdoll: *smiling* I know.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 12/17/08

BIRDS OF PREY #125 - What should have been a charming "old-school" story in which Babs and Dinah team-up, in person, to bring down one of the creepier members of techie-villain group The Syndicate is ruined by the artwork of Scott McDaniel. I'm not one who believes that all artwork must be full of cheesecake shots and pin-up work but is it too much to ask for somebody who can actually draw women to be given the art chores on Birds of Prey?

At least the art distracts from Tony Bedard's dialogue and the heavily forced idea that Babs is apparently suffering some kind of crisis of faith in her own abilities following her nearly getting beaten to death by The Joker last issue. Apparently this is mean tot set up the character-redefining Oracle mini-series nobody asked for. At least we won't have to suffer through this for much longer...


CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #6 - More of the same, though the story is moving forward. Conan's adventures intercut with tales of his adventurer grandfather. This time Conan comes home and plays storyteller regarding his own adventures, reunites with his mother and hears tale of how his grandfather came to settle down, due to a woman who promised him adventure enough at home - Conan's grandmother, of course. Though it seems Truman is now writing for the Trade, the issue does not suffer for it. I suspect though that this tale may, like Conan's own tales, be all the better told in one sitting.


EX MACHINA #40 - This may well win my pick for issue of the year. A meta-textual treat staring Brian K. Vaughan and Tony Harris themselves, as they go in to pitch for the job of doing a comic book based on Mayor Mitchell Hundred's administration. There's quite a few in-jokes here, such as "BKV" being mistaken for Brian Michael Bendis (which would piss me off as much as it does him) and the "finished comic" that eventually shows up on the last two pages. Give you a hint - if you're a fan of Wildstorm in general and The Authority: Kev in particular...

One question - is BKV's girlfriend's name Ruth? I just want to know if the issue name is a bad pun...


FABLES #79 - Still the best overall book every month, bar none. Go get the first trade if you haven't read it already.


HELLBLAZER #250 - An anthology comic of five stories involving John Constantine and the holidays. Well, four stories involving the holidays and one that has sod and all to do with anything. Let me give you the run down and we'll make like it's Sesame Street.

One of these things is not like the other...

* "Happy F****** New Year" - a story by Dave Gibbons, in which John is pressed into recovering a stolen Egyptian artifact only to wind up rushing to stop the sacrifice of a baby on New Years Eve.

* "Christmas Cards" - a story by Jamie Delano, in which John stands witness into a Christmas Eve poker game between a ruthless card shark and a man desperately trying to win the money to buy his daughter out of sexual slavery.

* "All I Goat For Christmas" - a story by Brian Azzarello, in which John is hired to end the curse on the Chicago Cubs.

* "The Curse of Christmas" - a story by Peter Milligan, in which John is pressured by a pushy ghost into investigating the mysterious deaths of three politicians who all died mysteriously during The Queen's Christmas Eve address.

* "Snow Had Fallen" - a story by China Mieville (a British sci-fi writer who is apparently my generation's answer to H.P. Lovecraft, according to the biography I found), in which John is called in to investigate an industrial accident and the plague of demons hounding an Anglican orphange in the shadow of a purification plant at Christmas.

If you guessed that four of these writers are Brits and one is American, you're close. If you guessed that four of these writers are respected masters of horror and one of them had a run on Hellblazer that was so disastrous that most John Constantine fans pretend it never happened, spot on.

Still, if you're curious about Constantine and looking for a good jump-on issue, this is it. Just skip the bad poetry and John fighting a giant goat demon in an American Sports bar.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 11/19/08

AMBUSH BUG: YEAR NONE #4 - Ambush Bug kills Dan Didio just after Dan takes responsibility for everything going wrong at DC Comics. What more do you need to know?


CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #5 - More flashbacks to the days of Conan's grandfather but at least this time there's a lot of good action in the past AND present. The last few pages don't speak well of Conan's homecoming... but do speak well of an interesting issue #6.


DOCTOR WHO: THE FORGOTTEN #3 - Pia Guerra goes off art duties and the art and the art goes into the toilet. The 10th Doctor looks like an anorexic Elvis impersonator, Martha looks nothing like the character from the show. Even Tom Baker is unrecognizable except by virtue of his hat and scarf. Even then, the scarf is FAR too short. A pity, because this series was enjoyable enough, even if it IS a Martha-Era 10th Doctor story. At least Tony Lee's story still holds up and the characters sound like themselves even if they don't look like themselves.


EX MACHINA #39 - Should I feel the least bit ashamed that I was rooting for fighting liberal "Trouble" here and was hoping she'd humiliate the Republicans royally?

Nahhhhhhhhh.

The series goes into the endgame and I can't wait for the next issue.


HELLBLAZER #249 - John finds out that he's been getting his strings pulled and who has been behind not only his recent troubles but most of his problems throughout life. It's somewhat ironic that the revelation presented here may annoy some old-school Hellblazer fans but they are likely to be the only ones to get what is going on anyway. Personally, I have no problem with the idea and at the very least, it isn't quite as continuity breaking as Brian Azarello's unfortunate run on the series. And the final page is pretty much the sum total of everything you need to know about John Constantine.


RED SONJA #39 - I still don't get if Sonja is amnesic or if she's just being reborn or what. At least it will all be settled next issue. I hope.


SAVAGE TALES #10 - The Red Sonja story is the highlight, as usual. Two-parter with Sonja going on a quest with a legendary general in honor of an old friend. And a historical Hercules tale that stacks up surprisingly well with the Marvel version of the character - heroic and a womanizer, but no less noble for it.

Another Awesome Quiz...

This one from Marionette!



1. A current obscure title that nobody else has heard of, which goes to show how cool you are for being aware of it. - Ex Machina. Some may say that it isn't obscure, but I have it on the good authority of Philadelphia Daily News comic critic Jerome Maida - whom I took to task for calling the concept of Green Arrow as a superhero mayor unique and original - that he can't read every obscure title that comes out. Of course I don't consider a book that's first issue won multiple Eisner Awards to be obscure... but hey, what do I know?


2. A title that everyone has heard of but doesn't think is that special, but for which you have a cunning argument for why it is cool. - Green Lantern Corps.... because Green Lantern is awesome... so a book about lots of them should be even more awesome!


3. A title that everyone already knows is cool, just to show that you have some common ground with the rest of comic fandom. - Green Lantern. Because Green Lantern is awesome.


4. A golden age title that nobody else has heard of (you can make one up if you like as there are lots of short lived golden age comics that sank without trace). - Madame Fatale. Because if there is one thing this world needs, it's a comic about an actor who fights crime by disguising himself as an old woman and then beating criminals up. He'd scare criminals straight because... well, would YOU keep mugging old women if there was a chance of getting beat up? :)


5. An indie comic that nobody else has heard of because only 5 copies were ever printed. - Here Come The Big People. Maybe not a comic with only 5 copies... but it is hard as hell to find... appropriately enough for a comic written by the original Crow T. Robot.


6. Some outrageous kitchy light-hearted silver age element that could only be reused today with heavy-handed symbolism or knowing self-reference. - Any story featuring the original Trickster, James Jesse.


7. A comic, or particular run of a comic that has been out of print for at least twenty years, which you can lobby for collected reprints of. - Mike Grell's Green Arrow.


8. A title you think must be very cool because you completely fail to make any sense of it. If it's a manga, you can't even work out whether to read it left to right or right to left because it makes as little sense either way. - The final issue of Chuck Austen's Superman run. I defy you to make sense of it!


9. A hideously expensive deluxe collection of some title . I mean if people are going to pay hundreds of dollars for it then it must be good, right? - The Starman Compendium Vol. 1. I already have all the single issues - but I must haves it!


10. A comic so obscure that it was never actually published. Or even written. - A Red Sonja/Tyris Flare fan comic I drew when I was 12. The less said about the contents the better.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 9/03/08 & 9/10/08

EX MACHINA #38 - We finally have a name for my new crush - Trouble.

I like it.

Apart from that, not much happens except that we find out that Kremlin has nothing to do with Trouble and we get the most appropriate quote of the week given what is coming tomorrow.

"9/11 doesn't belong to the Republicans, no matter what the out-of-towners they're busing into Madison Square Garden think."


FABLES #75 - This would have been the perfect ending for the series.

How fortunate for us then that Willingham and Buckingham have elected to keep it going. And fitting as well, for this series has proven that there really isn't any such thing as a pat, perfect "happily-ever-after" ending. So I'm glad to see that this comic about what comes after the end of the most famous stories in the world isn't ending itself either.


GREEN LANTERN #34 - This is Geoff Johns doing what he does best.

No, not coming up with disturbing images of innocent people being killed to create new characters. I was referring to his ability to take the broken fragments of other writers works and reforge them into a stronger mythology. He did it in JSA and later in Hawkman when he rebuilt the Hawkman/Hawkgirl mythos. And now, in Green Lantern, he is doing it again by explaining away some of the countless unbelievable aspects of the classic Green Lantern days.

*considers how Johns' explanation of the Green Lantern's yellow weakness involves beings of living fear and an entire spectrum where emotions are manifested as light energy*

Well, RELATIVELY unbelievable by the standards of DC Comics science. Things such as Hector Hammond's exposure to an intelligence-enhancing radiation are made more plausable as is William "Black Hand" Hand's creation of a device that drains the energy of Green Lantern rings. It turns out he stole it from an alien. But more importantly than that, we are given our first glimpse of a plausable student/mentor relationship (to say nothing of a friendship) between Hal Jordan and Sinestro as well as the first inkling that Sinestro - rather than being a bad egg who somehow slipped through The Guardians screening process - is a tragic hero brought down by hubris.

Which somehow makes him a much cooler enemy than "that putz who looks like a pink Vincent Price who really hates Green Lanterns".


GREEN LANTERN CORPS #28 - Two cool things from past issues that go even better together. The serial killer striking against the families of rookie Green Lanterns returns as does the Green Lantern who has the power to talk to the dead. All this and Ice shows up on Oa to surprise Guy... just before he gets the call to duty.

Call me a sentimental ol' wag, but I'm glad to see that someone is using Tora now that she's been resurrected by Gail Simone... especially if it's to ground that greatest of Green Lanterns. God knows Guy deserves it after all the abuse he's suffered in the last 20 years.


HELLBLAZER PRESENTS CHAS: THE KNOWLEDGE - I wonder how this series got green-lighted. Out of all the characters in John's life who deserve a mini, Chas is... well, probably not a bad choice. He is the only one of John's long-term friends to have survived the relationship and he did suffer some major personal losses at John's hand during the Mike Carey run on the series. A mini exploring what Chas has done with his life and his family since he told-off John would be entertaining in a Garth Ennis' Heartland way.

The problem is that Chas has always been - in most stories - the comic-relief with the stereotypical evil wife. They're about as deep and complicated as Andy and Flo Capp. So while the broad concept of this series (Chas takes on a new job working for an attractive American woman without telling his wife and then gets dragged into a supernatural mystery) could be funny or powerful, the execution is woefully lacking. Add in the fact that the only reason John isn't getting involved in this particular madness is that because he spends the entire issue raving it up somewhere else and wakes up on a beach somewhere with some kind poking him in the face with a small plastic spade.

It doesn't speak well of this series that I'd rather see how John spent an evening getting wasted rather than watching his sidekick fight demons. The only way I can picture this being worse is if it were centered upon the Chas from the film Constantine universe and I had to pay three bucks to watch Shia LeBeouf mince around for 32 pages.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #142 - Even in an issue where Brian gets his comeuppance and Jo Jo Zeke is fired in what will hopefully become known as the biggest mistake in Heidi Jackson's career... this issue still seems less than complete.

Why? I put it to one factor and one factor alone - the dismissal of Noah Antwiler as KODT's film critic.

It seems some people - most of whom apparently have nothing better to do than to sit on KenzerCo's forums and grouse about how they weren't buying another issue until Noah was fired (yet still kept writing about how bad the latest reviews were) - finally convinced The Powers That Be to give Noah the boot on a temporary basis after a frankly flawed poll that only consulted people who visited the KenzerCo website and not... oh... say... all of the people who were actively buying the magazine week after week.

Well, I hope those people are happy. The new film column is a rather dull and lifeless piece about how to adapt old sci-fi/fantasy movies for your campaign; something most GMs I know are already fairly adept at and hardly need any help with now since D&D became WoW. Then again, these people who weren't satisfied with KODT printing a helpful dotted line as well as instructions on how to remove Noah's columns from the magazine (perhaps because they aren't allowed to handle sharp objects in the institutions they live in), so I doubt they'll be happy with anything other than Noah's head on a spike and a letter from Dane Cook nailed to the spike assuring them that he is the true god of comedy.

Still, KODT's loss is The Internet's gain as Noah's website - The Spoony Experiment - has been updated with more and more fresh video-based content, including a review of Yor: The Hunter From The Future that is easily funnier than most things Mike Nelson has done with RiffTrax in that last two years. Check it out.

And continue to enjoy the comic parts of Knights of the Dinner Table... which are, for the moment, the only parts worth reading in this author's humble opinion.


RED SONJA #37 - All the fuss over how this comic involves a reincarnation of Sonja and I had failed to notice that Osin - Sonja's old (now old before his time it seems) bard companion and new trainer - has two hands. This issue explains that as well as how Osin was able to track Sonja down and how he got his hand back. Bad news for Osin - he apparently cut a deal with the god Jullah (aka The Black Gorilla God) to do all this which can't possibly end well. There's worse news on the way though, as it seems that Sonja's beloved sister (in this life, anyway) has turned traitor and is sleeping with the enemy in every since of the word.

I'll give Brian Reed credit - he's got me hooked now to see where he is going with this.


SAVAGE TALES #9 - I honestly skipped most of the stories in this anthology, having little interest in Alan Quartermain or the Battle for Atlantis. The rest more than make up for my need to skip half the book.

The first comic - Valaka - centers upon a sorceress who offers a young warrior help in fighting the wizard who has destroyed his village and taken his love. Of course, as always in these Hyborian lands, the help of a magic-user is rarely helpful.

The final tale tells a story of the young Osin, proving that anyone who says bards are useless in a fight don't know how to play one properly, as Osin uses his natural gifts with a sword, with magic and persuasion to turn an entire village against an evil wizard.


SECRET SIX #1 - It just figures. Not a few weeks after I struggle to find the perfect Deadshot quote for my Neutral Evil comic book character alignment poster, Gail Simone comes along and gives me the perfect one.

All you need to know about the rest of the comic is... more Ragdoll, more Nicola Scott/Doug Hazlewood artwork and Deadshot stopping a robbery only to decide to rob the place himself, all while giving the original group of robbers pointers on "how to do it right".


WONDER WOMAN #24 - Speak of Gail Simone books...

Am I the only one who didn't find much funny in Nemesis (now Sir Tom of Cleveland) being taken to meet Wonder Woman's mother? Maybe I've just had too many weird mom/daughter encounters to be unbiased.

On the other hand, this is more than made-up for by the idea of Diana having to deal with an unauthorized Hollywood blockbuster biography based on her and her mother... and Diana's albino gorilla bodyguards reaction to the contract negotations after being offered a snack and a drink.

"We would like to hear more about this fresh fruit portion of the negotiations."

Still...After seeing Gail's take on the Wonder Woman movie in this issue... I really want to see Gail write a Red Sonja special of some kind more than ever. I can't help but wonder if this is in reference to some meeting that Gail had...

I can dream, can't it?

Please do not reveal the secret behind the villain at the end of the issue.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 6/18/08 and 6/25/08

Just now got my comics. Partly due to busy work stuff and partly due to my birthday festivities last weekend.




BIRDS OF PREY #119: I know a few months ago I was wishing that Tony Bedard was writing this book. Now I'm starting to think that I should have been careful what I wished for.

Oh, don't get me wrong - there's a LOT to admire in this issue. Bedard is trying to set The Birds up on their own, taking them out of the Shadow of The Bat AND The S-Shield and - at the same time - positioning them in such a way that they can easily reabsorb Black Canary into the fold and into this book, where she belongs. There's a lot of seeds being planted, from the mysterious Visionary behind Platinum Flats to Oracle's manipulation of The Calculator. And who doesn't like seeing Manhunter at work?

Still, there's a lot of things about the issue that make me uncomfortable and worried. For one thing, The Visionary isn't an inspiring crime-lord ala The Kingpin or even Blockbuster from Chuck Dixon's 'Nightwing'. I'm also worried that they're pressing forward with the cliched "two people can't stand each other, so their obviously long-lost siblings" storyline between Misfit and Black Alice. And then there's the unanswered question as to just why Oracle has Manhunter tailing Black Canary and Green Arrow in the first place and how any reason other than the obvious - Babs is checking up on the best friend she never gets to talk to anymore -

The artwork inside the book is pretty good, though the cover... with yet another Dinah's costume is coming unzipped cleavage shot - is horrible beyond words.


CONAN OF CIMMERIA #0: A nice, basic story based around Conan's slaughter of several Vanir warriors and Robert Howard's poem Cimmeria, this issue is both a look back - in flashback paintings - of the 51 comics that came before and an introduction to the character of Conan for those who have yet to be exposed to the character through books, movies, comics or video games. We see that Conan is a man of action, but also a man of principal and compassion as he spares a younger man with a lyre, forced into combat, and urges him to go home "sing of this day... and of how Conan slew your kin." Those this reboot to a new title with a new #1 may be pointless, this comic isn't and I'll be surprised if it doesn't get an Eisner nod like Conan #0 before it did.


EX MACHINA #37: Again, regarding the pink-leather clad, conservative fighting bad girl who is now making many Republicans uncomfortable and - by proxy - Mitchell Hundred's life more difficult... I think I'm in love with a fictional character. Again.


FINAL CRISIS #2: I've decided to write all my comments on Final Crisis as separate posts from now on. Look for that later today.


GREEN LANTERN #32: The plot thickens as Johns continues to build and expand on the Green Lantern mythos and Hal Jordan's background in particular. Tying some of Hal's more powerful villains closer into his own life is an inspired idea and in doing this Johns has eclipsed John Byrne who tried - and failed - to do much the same thing in Spider-Man: Chapter One.

For some reason, it just seems to makes sense for Hector Hammond to get his telepathic powers after tampering with alien technology he doesn't understand rather than from his random discovery of an intelligence-enhancing, radioactive meteor. We also get an extended version of the first meeting between Sinestro and Hal Jordan that we saw in Green Lantern: Rebirth as well as the first ever scene I know of which depicts how Tom "Pie" Kalmaku found out about Hal's secret identity. Throw in a scene that seems to show the creation of the power behind The Red Lanterns and you have one hell of a story.


HELLBLAZER #245: The production team for a "Where Are They Now?" show about punk rockers does a story on John Constantine's old band and apparently awaken something evil as they go looking for the nightclub in Newcastle where a younger John tried to fight a demon, went mad in the process, failed to save a little girl from Hell and was blamed for the girls' murder.

John's absent for most of the issue, but his presence is felt none the less. Like many classic Batman stories where the legend of Batman and the influence of the character are felt even if the character is never seen, John Constatine's legend fills this story to the point where John's first appearance on the last page is almost gilding the lily. Another good issue for newbies who have never been exposed to the world of Hellblazer to jump on with.


HUNTRESS: YEAR ONE #4: I liked the first three issues of this series for creating an origin for Helena that didn't seem like a rehash of The Godfather or make her into a supporting player in her own origin story. I love this issue for the first meeting between Helena and a younger, pre-wheelchair Barbara Gordon and a bunch of little touches, such as..

1) Barbara being a revealed as a legal librarian. It makes perfect sense given her interest in crime-fighting as a teenager and her father putting his foot down over her becoming a cop. And as a librarian myself, I appreciate someone acknowledging that most of us are specialists in some aspect of the research sciences.

2) The idea of Bruce Wayne making his home available for a Mafia social function and then bugging his own house. Of course we've seen Bruce using his position to get information from the high class criminals before... but this is such a brilliant conceit, I'm amazed that I haven't seen it used in a Batman story before.

3) The Selina Kyle cameo. Nice continuation of the use of the character in The Long Halloween.

I know Tony Bedard just got back on the book... but we need Ivory Madison writing Birds of Prey as soon as he is ready to move on to something else.


JACK OF FABLES #23: Ex Machina is probably the best written book I read every month. And Fables is the best overall package. But for my money, no book can quite get me to laugh like all the bits with Babe, The Blue Ox in this book. And the main story with bandit king Gentleman Jack Candle in the Ol' West staying one step ahead of Sheriff Bigby Wolf is a good one too.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #22: Some say that Brad Meltzer is the best writer working at DC when it comes to getting inside the character's heads and giving us a story that may not have a lot of action, but perfectly captures the heart and spirit of a character.

With all due respect, these people are full of it. Because Dwayne McDuffie - in this single issue - has built upon every thing Brad Meltzer did in his one year on JLA and then blown it out of the water as...

* An incorporable Red Tornado answers more questions than we ever wanted to know about his sex life and proposes to his long-term, common-law wife.

* Vixen pours her heart out about her failing powers to ex-boyfriend Bronze Tiger.

* Superman goes Dr. Phil, and gives Roy Harper his philosophy on how conflict and arguments benefit a relationship.

* Black Canary takes charge and actually acts how a professional woman, a legacy hero and the leader of the Justice League SHOULD act when she finds out that one of her teammates has been lying to the team and been putting them in danger. She chews Vixen out, kicks her off the team and dismisses all requests for leniency.

* She then pulls Vixen aside, and because Dinah has always been a nurturer as well as a warrior, asks what she can do to help Vixen with her problems.

* Batman actually loses a fight. This happens so rarely, I thought I should mention it.

As I've said before, give McDuffie the freedom to write his own stories, and he's one of the best writers on the planet. Shame he's stuck with Ed "Cheesecake" Benes on art... but you can't have everything, I guess.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #140: Just in time for Convention-Season, all the standard storylines went on hold for this tribute to traveling to the convention. From bad road-trips to surly gate guards and the magical powers a chainmail bikini can bestow upon a girl amidst gamers, this issue is something that comic geeks and game geeks can both enjoy. If you've ever been curious about KoDT, this is a good issue to jump on with.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 04/30/08

DC UNIVERSE #0 - The good news is I don't feel ripped off because - thanks to the generosity of Lone Star Comics in South Arlington - I didn't have to pay for it.

The bad news is... well, this preview book isn't worth 50 cents. And while I don't seem to be as overwhelmingly gloomy as some of my colleagues in the blogging community about some of the revelations to come forth here, I must admit that I can't see this doing much to build enthusiasm for Batman: R.I.P. or Legion of Three Worlds.

I am, however, repressing a mad cackle at the idea that Gail Simone appears to be getting ready to write a Wonder Woman vs. 300 Spartans story. And Blackest Night is looking better and better.

But as for Final Crisis... ah, well.... they've been hinting at it enough. And with Bucky and Uncle Ben back it's not like anything is truly sacred anymore.

Check it out for yourself: http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/5423614.html#cutid1


EX MACHINA #36- I don't know who this new "villain" is, but I think I'm in love.


GREEN LANTERN #30- Secret Origins continues as we see Johns further revamp and modernize the classic "How Hal Jordan Became Green Lantern" story while reconciling it with Alan Moore's story "Tygers", all while foreshadowing quite a bit of the upcoming "Blackest Night". The one downside is that if you're not a Green Lantern fan, this may be impossible to keep up with if you haven't been reading since Sinestero Corps War.


JACK OF FABLES #22- Another divergent tale as we hear a story of Jack in the Old West as he turned bandit and lawman Bigby Wolf shows up to bring him home. I can't imagine there being anyone reading this book who isn't also reading Fables... but on the odd chance that there is, you'll want to pick up this issue too.

Fast Thoughts For 03/19/08

Comic Foundry #2 and two Sheena books delayed.

Ah well. Still a mighty haul of mighty good books this week.



BIRDS OF PREY #116 - I'm a little less sleazed out by this issue even if it was a lot sleazier than last month's. Somehow, knowing that we were dealing with the grandson of the original Killer Shark and that he's a pathetic, posturing geek who - upon stumbling over a mind control serum - immediately starts plotting how to use it to have not one, but two superheroine sex slaves for life makes the whole "mind control, 'You Are My Queen' act more pathetic than anything. And - oh yes - Misfit kicking Black Alice's ass without her powers. Bliss.


EX MACHINA #35 -

"I don't think you feel guilty about what Blacks went through in this city 400 years ago. I think you feel guilty about what we're going through today. And so do I. It's not White Guilt. It's not Black Guilt. It's just Guilt. Guilt that we got a future with fucking jetpacks before we got one with a level playing field.

Vaughan couldn't have timed this issue better if he tried. An examination of race relations in America and politics, this issue also gives us some new insights into the character of Deputy Mayor Wylie as well as some particularly apt lines given the current political zeitgeist in the United States.


FABLES #71 - The last page gave me chills akin to when I first read Watchmen and got to Adrian's now famous lines - "Do it?" To say more would be to say too much. I've said it before and I'll say it again - You MUST be reading this book.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #19- In the words of the LOLCats... "can we haz Grant Morrison back, pleeze?"


RED SONJA #31- Quite possibly the best issue of Red Sonja since the book came back.

We're still in flashback country, with Sonja heading toward Hades and the ferryman recounting her life. This time, we are treated to a tale of how Sonja almost gave up her oath for the noblest man she knew and how she inevitably came to lose him.

It's a fascinating look at an aspect of Sonja's character that has - for better or worse - been one of her defining characteristics. That is to say her oath to her goddess that she cannot give herself to any man who cannot beat her in a fair fight. In addition to spelling out the exact terms of Sonja's geas (we find out, for instance, that Sonja is easily capable of expressing emotional love if not physical) we also find out that the choice has always been Sonja's to make. She could have given up the warrior's path anytime she wanted - but she refused to do so because she could not bare the thought of what might happen if she failed to be there when a hero was needed. And that, in my opinion, makes her all the more heroic a figure.

Fast Thoughts For 02/20/08

I think, except for the Green Lantern books and Comic Foundry, I got every thing I buy for myself this week.



BIRDS OF PREY #115 - I may stand in the minority on this, but while this book hasn't been quite as good since Gail Simone left, it's far from bad... even with some fairly fractured Superman characterization. McKeever is playing to both his strengths with this, his opening story - reviving obscure points of a character's background and tales of Teenage Angst.

On the first front, we have Lady Blackhawk dealing with her repeated stints as "Queen Shark" to longtime Blackhawk enemy Killer Shark. Much as I've wanted a story centering on Lady Blackhawk for a while, I wish we could have found something better than the just-plain-creepy stories in which a supervillain brain-washes the one female member of the team. I especially could have done without the revelation of Zinda being just a bit angry over all the things he "had her do".

The details are left to the imagination, of course, but somehow it's hard NOT to imagine some pretty disgusting things. Especially given that Killer Shark had to undress her and get her into the Queen Shark costume. :P

On the second front, we have Misfit (aka Oracle's unwitting teenage sidekick and magical teleporting girl) freaking out over Oracle's adoption of Black Alice (aka the magical goth twink girl) into The Birds, seemingly over the much more inspired and much more enthusiastic Misfit.

I think the intention is for Misfit to be coming off as an anxious and over-eager brat - which she is - but honestly, she's got a point. Granting that Babs seems to be thinking in the purely logical terms that SOMEBODY needs to keep Alice under control and that she honestly could use a magic-sniffer/stealer on her team...

a) Alice's powers are unreliable under good conditions
b) there's a lot more qualified people than Barbara Gordon to teach a teenage girl how to manage her magic powers and Babs has most of them on speed-dial
c) Alice is ... kinda insane.

If I were buying this for me, this book would be on the fence. Since I'm getting it for my girlfriend, it's safe to say I'll still be buying it until she tells me to stop. Wish I could give the book better praise than that but McKeever has yet to hook me. And - uh yeah - the whole Queen Shark thing is just plain creepy.


CONAN #49 - A standard, but enjoyable tale. Truman closes out the last lingering plot-thread from the Busiek run and the tale of a beggar-girl with prophetic powers who followed after Conan to warn him of danger only to wind up in great danger herself.

I think I can see the shape of where things are going but it's an even bet that Issue 50 will end with Conan shifting from a mostly amoral mercenary to a mostly moral mercenary. Violence and sorcery aside, the greatest conflict in this issue is between Conan's natural urges to head home and fend for himself following the defeat of the army he had signed on with versus his code to help those who have helped him or proven helpless.


EX MACHINA #34 - Another scale-back issue, similar to Issue #25's close look at the past of Bradbury. This one gives us a closer look at the past of Commissioner Amy Angotti and just why - apart from being a general law-and-order kind of cop, she seems to have such a grudge against ex-superhero turned mayor Mitchel Hundred.

It's kind of a slow-down after the last few issues with the plot to kill The Pope and the revelation that Mitchell can talk to God through his powers. Still, this kind of character work is the kind of thing that Vaughan is famous for. And Tony Harris' work sings on the page, as always.


JUSTICE LEAUGE OF AMERICA #18 - Dwayne McDuffie made me care more about Red Tornado in one back-up story than Brad Meltzer could across an entire six-issue story arc.

THAT is talent.

Still not digging the Salvation Run tie-in and the "fight" with the Suicide Squad is one of the most anti-climactic affairs in recent memory. Nice to see someone play with the history between Vixen and Bronze Tiger, though. And I did like the scene with Batman and Amanda Walker as Bruce figures out that "The Wall" is trying to distract him and Superman while The Watchtower is being attacked.

"You're wasting our time. You NEVER waste time."


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #136 - With the exception of one strip continuing the story of B.A's game, the whole of the comics are devoted to three seperate groups playing the on-line Role Playing Game World of Hackcraft (Give yourself a no-prize if you can guess what that is a take off on!)

While the game we see here has nothing to do World of Warcraft (a shame, as I'd love to play a D&D On-Line game that actually had something to do with D&D AND penalized you for being an idiot who constantly hits on "the hot chicks"), there's a lot of humor here that is fairly consistent to all walks of MMORPG. The Clan of Griefers who play only to annoy other people (Logan and Newt). The hobbyists who take things too damn seriously (Johnny, Brian and company). And the female gamers who abuse the stupidity of the men around them (Bridget and Shelia and Sara).

I've said it before and I'll say it again: best pure gaming humor comic on the stands today.


RED SONJA #30 - And so we enter an era of rotating writing/art teams and I already find it more enjoyable than the last 20 issues of Red Sonja put together. A flashback tale, told as Sonja herself is taken deep in the Underworld to face judgement for her crimes - this details Sonja's first attempt at thievery and how her mistakes got a friend and mentor killed.

Ron Marz previously wrote the Sonja Goes East one-shot and proved himself capable of writing a well-paced action story. He lets the art tell a lot of the story here and while this is usually a good idea in a sword & sorcery comic, Lee Moder proves incapable of carrying his own weight much less Marz's slack. Moder's art is serviciable but not quite as good as Mel Rubi's previous work on the title, im my humble opinion. His work looks too cartoony and that's not a good thing given the blood and gore this title usually features. There is a time and a place for Bruce Timm styling and that place is not in Red Sonja.

Two Weeks Worth of Fast Thoughts - 12/19/07 & 12/28/07

Limited to one paragraph per book because Lawd-A-Mighty we has stuff to catch up on!



BIRDS OF PREY #113 - A promising first issue from Sean McKeever. He has all of the Birds and their personalities down-pat but his take on Superman seems way off the mark. Or am I alone in thinking that Superman is acting like Batman here in his lecture to Oracle about operating in his town and how he won't tolerate failure?


BRAVE AND THE BOLD #9 - Of course with Waid and George Perez on this book, you know things are going to be excellent - but did you know that the HERO Dial works on robots or that the Boy Commandos and Blackhawks both have Frenchmen named Andre among their members? We find out all this and more in a trio of short-stories framed by the continuing story of the Challengers of the Unknown, this issue deserves credit for teaching us several things about the DC Universe that only Mark Waid would think of and only a handful of trivia buffs outside of Mark Waid are likely to recall in ten-years time.


CONAN #47 - A simple set-up issue, but it looks to be leading into one heck of a battle next time. If nothing else, this issue is amusing as we see how Conan the Thief first fell in with a soldier group and became Conan the Mercenary by accident, after sneaking through a Corinthian patrol with little effort.


DAREDEVIL #103 - This is your basic house-keeping issue. A lot of talking heads. A lot of recapping for people who may have missed the first few issues of the current story. And generally a lot of things that don't really do a lot to advance the story, giving this issue the feel of a typical "I had four issues of story, but the editor insisted we needed six chapters for the trade" comic. Despite this, Brubaker does keep things moving and it is interesting to see Brubaker expand and improve upon the ideas that Brian Michael Bendis introduced and then ignored, such as this issue's logical conclusion that if illegal vigilantes need a doctor than super-villains almost certainly need the same thing.


EX MACHINA #33 - The inclusion of the supernatural to what has been - for a comic book about a man who can talk to machines, anyway - a relatively science-based book is one heck of a rabbit to let out of the hat this late in the game. Still, if anyone can make the idea that Mitchell Hundred talked to God work, it is Brian K. Vaughan.


GREEN LANTERN #26 - Despite what the cover says, this issue tells us nearly nothing about the Alpha Lanterns. So what do we get instead? A lot of material about Green Lanterns besides Hal Jordan and John Stewart - enough that I had to double-check and make sure that I wasn't reading Green Lantern Corps. And that's no bad thing, with an issue that features Hal confronting Sinestro, John Stewart usual method of "celebrating" victory, Hal's more conventional methods involving fellow pilot Cowgirl, the Guardians returning to their old secretive ways and The Lost Lanterns dealing with the loss of one of their own. The Sinestro War may be over, but this book isn't slowing down at all.


GREEN LANTERN/SINESTRO CORPS SECRET FILES - Are you a Green Lantern fan? Do you have $4.99 American? Than you simply must get this book which is easily the finest print reference for Green Lantern trivia I have ever seen in print, containing a list of dead Green Lanterns as well as information on all current, living members of the Green Lantern Corps who have been profiled - however briefly - in the current volume. There's even profiles of a few of the more obscure Lanterns from previous volumes such as Raker: The Forgotten Green Lantern of Apokolips and Perdoo The Mad of Sector 2234.


HELLBLAZER #239 - One issue away from John's 20th Anniversary and Diggle has returned John to his roots... literally, in this case. This story centers around an African mystic, whom John met way back in his first monthly adventure in Hellblazer #1 - trying to get a memory encased in a root to John Constantine in order to thwart the machinations of a warlord/dark magician who also has some business with John. All pun-ishment aside, this is one heck of an issue and a good jumping-on point for any readers who might have just crawled out from under their rocks, missed the first two decades of Hellblazer and are curious to see what the fuss is about.


JACK OF FABLES #18 - As a librarian, I should probably be relieved that after a year and a half of a book in which the main bad guys were all evil-ish librarians that this issue introduced an even more evil librarian named Burner. Guess what he does to the books in his zombie-populated town? Still, my personal issues with the maligning of my profession aside, this is one of the best books out there.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #16 - Can we please, please, PLEASE let Dwayne McDuffie start writing his own stories instead of having to do introductions and fill-in-the-blank tales for every other stupid crossover that is coming down the pike? Don't get me wrong - this issue is far from bad, as we get more off the no-nonsense ass-kicking Black Canary and (thank you) a Roy Harper who isn't just Green Arrow lite. But I'd rather not settle for merely "good" stories that set-up a Tangent Universe crossover in the Superman books when I could have great stories akin to what McDuffie has been doing with Fantastic Four in recent months.


RED SONJA #28 - I've said it before and I'll say it again - DITCH THE STUPID SUPPORTING CAST AND LET SONJA GO IT ALONE! Nobody cares about the lion-man, Osin the Beefcake or Valera or Valerie or whatever the pirate chick's name is (no Howard fans - it ISN'T Valeria) and this plot with Gath has dragged on for far too long. Sonja, like Conan, while being an epic figure is better suited to brief, episodic tales rather than large written-for-the-trade stories spanning twelve issues. Take an example from Savage Tales - keep it short and sweet.


SAVAGE TALES #5 - Now this is what I'm talking about! Part Two of a Red Sonja story from last issue features Sonja rescuing a bunch of kidnapped women from a demon while dealing with a lecherous hunter who wants to test that "I may only give myself to a man who can best me in combat" oath. Sure, the first part of this story opened with Sonja holding the dope's severed head, making this tale anti-climactic in the extreme. But it's still the best Red Sonja story since the Red Sonja Annual earlier this year.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 11/21/07

Very, very fast thoughts as I picked up a lot of books this week and only have so much time to write before I have to hit the road for Thanksgiving Dinner.



BATMAN ANNUAL #26: I don't care what you Greg Rucka fans say - killing off Ra's was a mistake and thank goodness Peter Milligan is here to correct it.


BIRDS OF PREY #112: I'm going to miss Tony Bedard on this title. Hell, I'm already missing him on every title he's helped write in the past six months. What's wrong with nice, fun stories like this where nobody dies and there's cute cameos by Hal Jordan and Cowgirl?


BRAVE AND THE BOLD #8: The first issue of this comic I didn't enjoy completely. Then again, I've never been a huge fan of The Flash or The Doom Patrol. And yet I have to ask...since when has Elastic Girl been a stretcher instead of a grower? I trust Mark Waid to know what he's doing in keeping track of these things but still... I always thought she was a giantess.


CONAN #46: This issue seems a fitting contribution to the mythos, for while Howard said that Conan was inspired by his grandfather's tales of far away lands and was easily bored by his own people, we have never been told of the impetus for how Conan came to leave home. This story, which Kurt Busiek ties into some of his own tales of Conan, seems a fitting answer to that question.


DETECTIVE COMICS #838: Even if you're not collecting this for the Return of Ra's, this issue is worth grabbing just for the scene where Ra's tries to win over Tim Drake. Some of the best verbal sparring in recent memory.


EX MACHINA #32: Should I feel ashamed that I found myself more interested by Mitchell Hundred's nightmares and the visions of supervillains fought in the past rather the current storyline involving a plot to turn Mitchell into a living weapon against The Pope?


HELLBLAZER #238: One of the best one-shot Hellblazer stories ever, with John reluctantly going on a rescue mission to save some urban explores caught in a shadow London where urban myths are real. Great story though a part of me wonders... wasn't Map killed off in the Mike Carey run of this book? Ah well... set it before that and it works just fine.


NIGHTWING #138: I look at Tiger Moth, Dragonfly and Silken Spider... and I think about how much I miss The Ravens and The Body Doubles, who were very much the same concept but not nearly as much of a joke, even when they were jokes.


RED SONJA #27: I'm still trying to figure out how an infamous evil wizard got elevated to godhood and wishing that Sonja would ditch the idiot millstone crew she finds herself saddled with. Still, this book is not a bad read though I suspect it reads better in the TP.


ROBIN #168: Tim is too smart to be this stupid. A rare miss from Milligan.



Gone on vacation from comics. I'll see you all in a week.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 10/17/07

BIRDS OF PREY #111 - I hope that DC finds some book to put Tony Bedard on. Hit or miss as his work can be, I think he did a good job with the one Supergirl fill-in I read, the one issue of Countdown I enjoyed completely and the Black Canary mini-series. I also think that he has done a pretty good job capturing the essence of the Birds during his three fill-in issues thus far. And this issue, which focuses upon The Calculator, is the first to truly do anything to examine the character or develop him since he was introduced as the Anti-Oracle in Identity Crisis. Between that and the guest artwork by Jason Orfalas (which I didn't even notice wasn't Nicola Scott until I double checked), this is still one of the best books DC publishes every month.


BRAVE AND THE BOLD #7 - I bought an extra copy of this by accident, forgetting that I put this on my pull-list last month. And yet, I'm not that upset. Why complain about having two copies of a book which so perfectly sums up the difference between Wonder Woman and Power Girl in one page?

It's got Mark Waid writing and George Perez artwork. If you're not buying this comic and loving every moment of it, there's something wrong with you.


CONAN #45 - I'm a bit torn on this book. Kurt Busiek is back and his writing is strong as ever in telling this tale of Conan's first great battle as a teenager; The Seige of Venarium. Guest artist Greg Ruth does a fine turn as the first to follow Cary Nord, using a similar style that looks as if it was sketched in multicolored pencils or lightly painted rather than drawn. With the colors done in washed greys and browns, he perfectly depicts the land of Cimmeria as "a gloomy land that seemed to hold All winds and clouds and dreams that shun the sun."

And yet, I can't help but wonder if Robert Howard would approve of a story which suggests that the entire reason for the war between Aquilonia and Cimmeria (which came to a head during the Seige of Venarium) is because of Conan bedding some wizard's daughter and the wizard telling the Aquilonias to settle northwards. I wonder if Howard would approve of Conan being the one to demand they cease their seige and attack following the slaughter of a boyhood rival. Conan was a great thing but he was all too human. And it may be making too much of a legend to lay responsibility for every incident of Conan's past at his own feet.

But then I think - he would certainly approve of the sentiment uttered by Conan's grandfather, who smacks down a callow youth who calls one of the great battles of his youth legend and says the old man is too old to fight...

I was at Brita's vale, whelp -- when your father was still suckling at his mother's teat! And if you had the sense Crom gave a woodpigeon, you'd know the only time a Cimmerian's too old to fight for what's his is when he's dead and in the ground!

Howard may not have approved of this story. But I certainly do.


EX MACHINA #31 - We're 3/5ths of the way through this book's projected 50-issue run and it still feels like it is just getting started. This is another one of those books which I love every issue of and yet I find myself hard-pressed to find new ways to describe its' glory every month.

Well, let's try this. This comic features a scene in which a superhero with the power to talk to machines must save a group of Satanic-wannabe Preppie chicken-slayers (there's a movie title in the making) from a mind-controlled gorilla.

And THAT isn't the most awesome scene in the book.


FABLES #66 - The plot thickens even further. If there is any complaint that can be made about the last few issues, in which we see The Frog Prince (aka Flycatcher aka King Ambrose) taking the long-road to becoming a hero and establishing a safe kingdom in the heart of darkness, it is that it seems like the stories of all the other characters have been put on hold. Indeed, we see most of the rest of the main cast crammed around a magic mirror in the final page, watching what Flycatcher is up to. And while what he is doing is interesting and important and we are doubtlessly building to something bigger - it is a bit erratic in a monthly book. I imagine it will read better in the trade but that is not to say that it reads badly at all now. Far from it.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #14 - I suppose it behooves me to weigh in on the latest controversy.

Now for those of you who haven't been keeping up with this book since Dwayne McDuffie took over, let me sum up. Lex Luthor has formed a new Injustice League, built a base called The Hall of Doom and methodically taking down all of the Justice League save Superman and Black Lightning in the span of two issues. Luthor, being Luthor, has to gloat and poke Superman with a metaphorical stick because of his belief that an angry Superman makes mistakes and will be easier to fight. As part of this psychological warfare, Lex shows Supes and BL their comrades.

Do I think that Lex would pose three female adversaries in the most humiliating way possible in order to annoy The Big Blue Boy Scout? Hell, yes. He's a bad guy. It's what he does. And he admits that was the whole point of the image in the first place.

Do I think the artwork had to go to QUITE this extreme? Hell, no.

Still, this is Ed Benes - Pin-up Man Extraordinary who is responsible for this, so I figure the blame for this can be put on him and not on Mr. McDuffie. Given his previous work, I somehow doubt he wrote "Make sure Black Canary is wearing a thong and that Vixen's chest is pushed out as far as possible" in his art instructions.

This perfectly sums up the rest of the issue. McDuffie writes a great script and Benes - while capable of drawing distinctive characters - is a poor visual storyteller, who has Black Lightning appear out of nowhere in the Hall of Doom and introduces other characters during fight scenes in a slap-dash way that seems to ignore three-dimensional space. Still, for McDuffie's writing... I can forgive a lot.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #131 - Part of me longs for the days when KODT featured several small strips in each issue. This one has three large comics - one continuing the plotlines of Weird Pete's addiction to World of Hackcraft, one continuing the adventure in BA's campaign to run his group through "The Temple of Horrendous Doom" and one comic involving the staff at gaming company Hard 8, which loosely ties into Pete's storyline while setting up another future plotline.

What's wrong with the larger storylines? Well, nothing really. The book is still as well written as ever. But it seems as if all the on-going storylines are moving by at a snail's pace. We've spent months watching Weird Pete try to find a clan to accept him on WoH and the Hard 8 strips are usually more about plot and less about laughs. Still, The Temple of Horrendous Doom storyline isn't disappointing. And I laughed out loud at Brian's lackluster reaction to B.A.'s attempts at being a spooky gamemaster.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 9/19/07

Short and sweet, this week. No more than two sentences and a picture for each review.



BIRDS OF PREY #110: A decent filler issue with decent art. Always nice to see Helena get a chance to shine.
GRADE: B


COUNTDOWN #32: Despite all the issues I have with Diana objecting to teenage drinking, the effects (or lack thereof) of alcohol on Kryptonian physiology and the fact that this issue contradicts every single thing we've seen regarding Black Canary's bachelorette party, I'm willing to forgive it because Tony Bedard remembered to include Dinah's close friends from Birds of Prey in the extensive party scenes. Also, every scene with Supergirl and Wonder Girl trying and failing to sneak drinks is adorable.
GRADE: C


EX MACHINA #30: I just now managed to catch up on the back issues for this book. What was I thinking considering paying rent more important than this?
GRADE: A


GREEN ARROW/BLACK CANARY WEDDING SPECIAL #1: Rest in peace, noble archer. He can't hurt you anymore where you are now.
GRADE: D and that's only because Amanda Conner does good work.


HELLBLAZER #236: Hellblazer hasn't been this good since... well, at least since Mike Carey left the book. But I think if anyone can equal him, it's Andy Diggle.
GRADE: A


JUNGLE GIRL #0: Remember the days when 25 cents got you a comic with less advertisements than art pages? Neither do I, but I'm sure they had to have been better than this.
GRADE: F


JUNGLE GIRL #1: I thought it was impossible to make a book even more vapid and offensive than Frank Cho's Shanna The She-Devil. I'm sad to say I was wrong.
GRADE: F


SHEENA #3: The first, and even with two other jungle-girl books cluttering the shelves, still the best. Accept no substitutes!
GRADE: A


SPIDER-MAN RED SONJA #2: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the definitive Peter Parker quote.

GRADE:A


TALES OF THE SINESTRO CORPS PARALLAX #1: Kyle Rayner's personality is dead-on in this issue but why is he buff like Conan in the last few pages? Observe and note that only the dialogue baloon has been changed in the scan below.

GRADE: B