Red Sonja/Conan #4 - A Review

Before I review Red Sonja/Conan #4, I do need to take a moment to discuss an artist who I haven't mentioned in my previous reviews of this mini-series - Ed Benes.

For those who aren't familiar with Ed Benes and his oeuvre, Mr. Benes is an artist who specializes is a style that has earned him a certain amount of derision. It is not that Mr. Benes is incapable of drawing male characters or action scenes. It's just that he's rather more famous (and infamous) for his covers and posters featuring female characters in a pin-up style.

To give you some idea, here are two of Mr. Benes' previous works involving Red Sonja.


She looks... cheeky.

Ed Benes did the main covers for every issue of Red Sonja/Conan and, if I may be charitable, they have not been his best work. Even ignoring the cheesecake angles in the above artwork and the unlikeliness of Sonja posing thus while in the middle of combat, at least it looks like she is holding her weapons properly with her feet firmly planted, Not so in this cover, where it appears that Sonja is lying on her left side while still being upright, her sword arm twisted at a weird angle. Conan's stance with his dagger twisted around the wrong way in his right hand is little better, looking equally off-balance and forced.


Seriously. Put Sonja on her side and picture her saying "Draw me like one of your Aquilonian girls".

I mention all of this to lend you perspective when I reveal a frightening fact.

This - all of this which you've seen before this sentence?

It is better than any artwork in this book's interior.


Has anyone reported this to Eschergirls yet?

Yet even this is not the worst aspect of this comic!  The grim irony of Red Sonja/Conan #4 is that Sonja is nothing but a supporting player in this book, despite getting top billing this time around. The action of the script by Victor Gischler remains firmly focused on Conan. And with the exception of the final blow against Toth Amon (a sneak attack while Conan attacks from the front), Sonja is mere eye-candy who serves no purpose for most of the issue other than to praise Conan.


At least, Sonja would be eye-candy if the artwork made her look at all attractive.

Artist Roberto Castro has no business working in professional comics. I have seen a better grasp of anatomy in the margin doodles of junior high-school students. And that is not hyperbole - remember this critic works with junior high-school students in his day job!

Castro's figures manage to look sketchy while still seeming over-inked. His take on Sonja is as cartoonishly elongated and emaciated as Aeon Flux. And I find it hard to believe that any professional editor would accept artwork where Red Sonja's left arm is growing out of her left breast! Yet here we are...


Chuck Norris has a third fist under his beard. Red Sonja has a third sword-arm under her bra.

At this point, I can safely say that Red Sonja/Conan #4 is the worst thing to feature the character of Red Sonja in 2015. And to give you some idea of how damning a statement that is, consider that the final chapter of the utterly horrible Red Sonja: The Black Tower just barely came out in 2015. For all the troubles that mini-series had (and there were many!), at least the artwork was good.

Here, the artwork and story are terrible. This mini-series is a disgrace to both Conan and Red Sonja. If you want a good Conan and Red Sonja team-up book, track down the excellent Conan/Red Sonja series by Gail Simone and Jim Zub. Accept no substitutes!

Red Sonja/Conan #3 - A Review

Red Sonja/Conan #3 is a truly awful comic book.  And yet, it is the strongest chapter of this mini-series to date. It would be unfair to say that this follow-up to the excellent Conan/Red Sonja series by Jim Zub and Gail Simone has gone off the rails. This book was never put on the rails in the first place!

The artwork by Roberto Castro somehow manages to look sketchy and unfinished while somehow being over-inked. His characters are misshapen hunks of random muscles, save for Red Sonja herself, who looks more like a bikini model than a warrior woman. The one nice thing I can say is that, unlike the previous issues, Castro remembered to draw bra the straps of Sonja's costume this month.

The script by Victor Gischler reads like the sort of story Roy Thomas might have written back in the 1970s when he was racing to meet a deadline... and hungover. The humor and romance of the earlier mini-series is completely absent. It's the worst kind of generic sword-and-sorcery with the focus firmly on Conan and Sonja reduced to the role of a sidekick.

Ignoring this, Sonja seems horribly out of character. She is seemingly surprised at Conan's sense of honor when he refuses to kill a man who surrendered. Later, she suggests that she and Conan could just not get involved as they prepare to storm the evil wizard's lair but then says she expected nothing less when Conan refuses to abandon their quest. Sonja is not one to waste words thus when there is evil that needs smiting. Indeed, she has a better track record of being more hero than mercenary than Conan.

Red Sonja/Conan #2 - A Review

Compared to the excellent Conan/Red Sonja series it was meant to follow-up, Red Sonja/Conan #1 was something of a disappointment. With its second issue, this mini-series has ceased to be a disappointment and developed into a full-fledged travesty. Not only does this comic not deserve to be mentioned in the same paragraph as Gail Simone and Jim Zub's earlier saga - it doesn't deserve to be on the same planet!


The artwork by Roberto Castro continues to be half-finished throughout. Yet the artwork seems even worse than last month's issue because of the misshapen and Cronenbergian appearance of most of the characters. The only character whom Castro appears to put any effort into depicting is Red Sonja and then only to ensure she has just enough circles covering her naughty bits to be considered decent.


The story by Victor Gischler proves equally lackluster. The humor of the previous issue has vanished completely. Worse yet, not only does this chapter break the classic storytelling rule of telling, not showing us the action - it has an enemy warrior describing events to Red Sonja that she already lived through and doesn't need to be told about!  The story gains nothing from this "As you well know..." perspective and readers will gain nothing from reading this book.

Red Sonja/Conan #1 - A Review

Know O' Prince that some time has passed since Conan of Cimmeria and Sonja of Hyrkania last crossed paths, having united to stop the dreaded Thoth-Amon from unleashing the cursed plant called Blood Root upon the world.  Now the two have met again in the land of Kush, following rumors of war and a king in need of captains to defend against invasion. But little do they know that another wizard has a Blood Root seed and means to succeed where Toth-Amon failed!



Sadly, Red Sonja/Conan fails to live up to the promise of the mini-series it is meant to follow-up. And this is due almost entirely to artist Roberto Castro. I've noted before that I have little liking for Castro's sketchy style but some of his work here goes beyond being merely sketchy to seeming unfinished! A prime example of this is Castro's depiction of Sonja's armor, which frequently lacks support straps, leaving Sonja looking as if she is wearing chain-mail pasties for much of the book.


Another issue is Castro's unfortunate tendency towards posing characters awkwardly in relation to the dialogue. Consider the panels above, wheres Sonja is stroking Conan's chin and making dove-eyes at him as they are meant to be discussing combat tactics!


It's a shame because Victor Gischler's script does such a good job of capturing the flavor of the first Conan/Red Sonja mini-series. Gischler's take on Sonja is close to Gail Simone's lusty amazon, though I contend that Simone's Sonja would probably thank Conan for bringing her playmates for later in the above scene! Conan is similarly well treated, apart from some occasional incongruity in his speech speech patterns, which alternate between the crude eloquence of Robert E. Howard and the stereotypical speaking of himself in the third-person.

All in all, this isn't the worst Conan or Red Sonja comic ever. But it's nowhere near as good as the series it is following up.

John Cater: Warlord of Mars #6 - A Review

An army of both Tharks and Warhoons stand united against the invading Kahori. But even as the Green Martin hordes lay siege to the city of Helium, John Carter faces his rival Joshua Clark in a duel for the fate of all Mars. Meanwhile, a treacherous scientist with designs on Dejah Thoris plots to flee the city with John Carter's wife as his prize!


The final chapter of Ron Marz's opening arc on this new Warlord of Mars series proves as thrilling as its previous installments. The book is full of action and incredibly well-paced. And Dejah Thoris, despite being a hostage for most of the book, proves to be no damsel in distress who requires rescuing.


Curiously, this final issue was illustrated by a different artist - Roberto Castro.  Castro's style is far rougher and sketchier than the smooth, rounded aesthetic favored by Abhishek Malsuni.  This issue doesn't look bad but it's a jarring change after five months and I must confess a personal preference for Malsuni's artwork.