Showing posts with label bad movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad movies. Show all posts

Monday, August 13, 2012

Birdemic 2 Trailer Released!




...

Bad enough he shamelessly ripped off Alfred Hitchcock. Now James Nguyen dares to "parody" Joss Whedon?! I SAY THIS SHALL NOT STAND!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Cult Film Fanatics - The Who's Tommy & Barbarella

SOURCE: Cult Film Fanatics: The Who’s Tommy and Barbarella

I was part of a panel for the most recent episode of the podcast Cult Film Fanatics, now hosted by United States of Geekdom. So if you ever wanted to listen to me muse on the irony that a musical based on the author's experiences getting off of drugs requires you to be high to appreciate it or wax philsophical on the importance of PG rated movies with nudity to teenage boys of a certain generation... here you go!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Cult Film Fanatics: Sky Captain and Birdemic

SOURCE: Cult Film Fanatics: Sky Captain and Birdemic

Ever wonder what I sound like? I recently sat in on an episode of the Cult Film Fanatics podcast - now hosted by United States of Geekdom! Give it a listen and marvel at my command of useless trivia regarding Birdemic!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

This Summer... the horsing around ends forever.





Easily the best fan movie I've seen this year; behold the horrors of Michael Bay's My Little Pony!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Some Good Things To Look At...

I didn't mean to spend so much time writing two mostly negative reviews. So before I go out for the night (I have a show to perform at this evening) and return tomorrow to cover the rest of the comics I picked up this week, here's some good things to check out.

Atop The Fourth Wall - quite easily the best comedic critic video-blog since The Spoony Experiment, Lewis Lovhaug does for Amazons Attack! what Noah Antwiler did for Yor, The Hunter From The Future

Amazons Attack! #1-2
Amazons Attack! #3-4
Amazons Attack! #5-6


Harley Quinn: A Masochistic Bimbo Who Screwed Her Way Through College - a very thoughtful analysis of the character and The Joker that is one of the more intelligent bits of commentary I've read in a goodly while.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Dragonball Z isn't the only place to find a Spirit Bomb.

SOURCE: 'Marley' leads pack on Christmas weekend

There was one lump of coal amid the Christmas cheer: Lionsgate's "Spirit," Frank Miller's PG-13 adaptation of the Will Eisner graphic novel and the holiday's fifth wide opener, had to settle for ninth place with a four-day cume of $10.4 million.

Because who would have thought opening an over-the-top, sexy, violent Sin City-style adventure movie at Christmas would ever be a bad idea?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Yahoo's Worst Comic Book Movies List

My comic reviews for the last two weeks will be up tomorrow.

In the meantime, enjoy this and my second-hand observation.

SOURCE: The Worst Comic Book Movie Adaptations

Fairly good, solid list. But is it just me or do you see this...





... and think Black Canary even knowing who the actress/character is?

Yes, I know there's no fishnets. It's still damn close.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Five Reasons To Be Hopeful About The New Red Sonja Movie

SOURCE: Robert Rodriguez reteams with Rose McGowan in 'Red Sonja'

All I can say is THANK GOD!

The last I heard, they didn't have a director or a writer locked up for this movie and the front-runner for the part of Red Sonja was Megan Fox - i.e. the Magic Girlfriend from Transformers and a woman who apparently couldn't manage the reported directive from director Michael Bay to "just to look hot" when being told what to do during a scene.

And now... oh, now we have Robert Rodriguez set to produce and probably to direct. We have Roy Thomas writing the script, according to Internet Movie Database. And we have Rose McGowan set to play everyone's favorite amazon.

And sure - I can understand people being leery of a director casting his girlfriend in yet another project. If it were any other producer, I'd be worried too. However, there are five reasons why I'm not worried... except because this whole affair sounds too good to be true.


1. Robert Rodriguez has proven time and time again that can make a good, stylish action movie. And however you may feel about Sin City as a comic or as a film, I don't think anyone can deny that Rodriguez perfectly captured the spirit of Frank Miller's comics on camera. This same eye for detail could only benefit a new big-screen adaptation of Red Sonja.

2. Rodriguez is reportedly a big fan of Robert E. Howard's writing and had been trying - before Sin City came out - to take over a long-stuck-in-limbo King Conan movie. If I recall correctly, nothing ever came of it since Rodriguez wanted to film the movie entirely in the Texas Hill Country which inspired so much of Howard's vision of Hyboria and he didn't want to have a big-name actor play Conan. While Sonja isn't precisely a Robert Howard creation, she was born of his work and a director/producer who knew of that history and respected it could only help the production.

3. According to USA Today, Rose is a big Red Sonja fan and a regular reader of the current comic series. While I don't think an actor necessarily has to be a die-hard fan of a series in order to play them well, I do think that it can help with particularly complex characters. At the very least, it can't hurt.

4. Rose McGowan - unlike most of the other actresses who were having their name thrown around for the part - can actually do action scenes. Even before she started appearing in everything Robert Rodriguez did, she's had a reputation as a tough chick. And for what little it's worth, she's a natural redhead.

5. Roy Thomas is writing the script. As in, the man who brought Conan from the pulps to the comics. As in, the man who adapted one of Howard's historical heroines into one of the most beloved icons of post-modern fantasy. Sonja's literary father... writing a script for her. Call me crazy for thinking that's a pretty good sign that The Powers That Be know what they are doing, for once.

My Expert Opinion on Wanted and The Magic Girlfriend Stock Character

SOURCE: 'Wanted's' effect debated

I got to be the voice of dissent/angry comic book guy in an article about the new movie (very loosely) based on the comic book Wanted.

The only reason I'm mentioning here (apart from shameless self-promotion, of course) is because of one very odd line that I'd like to explain.

"Even with the loose adaptation they seem to be going with, the base concept - a bunch of amoral killers secretly rule the world and a hapless newbie is brought into the fold - would suggest that this is not going to be a chick flick."

Why the chick flick comparison? Well, that line came from a separate part of the e-mail Q&A I had with Mister Maida. He had asked for my opinion on the fact that Fox - the character Angelina Jolie plays in the movie - was originally an African American woman in the comics (and indeed based on Halle Berry) and asked if I thought this had any relevance - for good or ill - on the movie's potential success.

I said, half-jokingly, that it probably meant that Hollywood had finally realized that Halle Berry + Superhero Movie = Bad Idea, and that given how the character was a Magic Girlfriend (that's my term for any action movie heroine who fulfills all the requirements of The Mentor and The Love Interest in one convenient package), it hardly mattered if she was Black or White given that the character was an exploitative cliche regardless of the color of her skin.

He replied back and asked me to defend the idea that the character of Fox was exploitative and how could I know - given how wildly different the comics and the movie are supposed to be - that the character of Fox in the movie would be as bad? How could I say that the character in a movie I hadn't seen and had no intention of seeing would be insulting to all women everywhere?

My answer? Angelina Jolie is playing her.

Now, I won't deny that Angeline Jolie is a talented actress when it comes to playing certain types of characters. If you need someone who can play the tough but sexy girl or the bad girl, then Angelina is your woman. I've known this since Hackers.

But let's not kid ourselves - the main reason that Angelina Jolie is popular has less to do her ability to convey all of the nuances of Lady MacBeth and more to do with her willingness to be eye-candy.

There's not a lot of people watching the Tomb Raider movies for the feminist subtext. That's all I'm saying.

And as I also said, Fox is a Magic Girlfriend. Like Valeria in Conan the Barbarian. Like Trinity in The Matrix. She is the perfect woman, whose main purpose in the movie is to...

a) discover the Hero while he is a hapless newbie and guide him down the path to destiny.
b) become the hero's love interest
c) be the token woman in "the team" (if the Magic Girlfriend is not the only woman on the team, she will be one of the few and will definitely be the most attractive)
d) sacrifice herself to save the hero or further the hero's cause.

And that is where and why I made the oddly out-of-place statement above. "Even with the loose adaptation they seem to be going with, the base concept - a bunch of amoral killers secretly rule the world and a hapless newbie is brought into the fold - would suggest that this is not going to be a chick flick."

So yeah. That's why. In case you wondered.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

FILM REVIEW: Superhero Movie

The Short Version: It is worth seeing and was a lot funnier than I thought it would be. Definitely give it a see if you can catch a cheap show or once it is out on video.



1. Fair Warning - the movie poster and the trailers are a total lie. This movie is not, in fact, a parody of a whole bunch of different superhero movies or one big mockery of the Marvel Comics universe. It is, baring a few random scenes that don't have much to do with anything, a fairly straight-forward parody of the first Spider-Man movie.

This is, however, a good thing as the worst material in the movie involves Our Hero's brief visit to Xavier's School for Gifted Non-Asian Kids. The best gag in the whole sequence is one that was cut from the movie but included in the closing credits as we see the unfortunate mutant with toilet-paper dispensing claws who has the unfortunate task of wiping Wolverine's ass. Why? Well, apparently this Wolverine can't retract his claws.

I freely admit this is disgusting and unfunny. However, this is freaking Marx Brothers compared to the rest of the scene, the gags involving Professor Xavier's wife and children (all bald and in wheelchairs) and Pamela Anderson's cameo appearance as Invisible Girl.


2. Speaking of which - all of Pamela Anderson's appearance in the movie is in the trailers. Seriously. She's in the movie for about 30 seconds. So if you're just going to see this movie for Pam, stay home. Despite this, I still think she did a much better job with the part than Jessica Alba.


3. Drake Bell plays Rick Riker. Good choice for the lead as he looks like Brandon Routh's skinny cousin and sounds like Michael J. Fox. Perfect faux Parker in other words.


4. I'd be willing to bet this entire movie started with the concept of "Leslie Nielsen is Uncle Ben" and went from there. And that's not a bad thing at all. Because while the movie does recycle a lot of jokes from The Naked Gun (Superhero Movie's penultimate gag is exactly the same as Naked Gun's final gag), Nielsen is still a skilled enough performer to make them new.

Nearly all the best moments in the movie have Nielsen involved in them, from his attempts at refuting Rick's "You're not my real father!" complaints (I raised you like a father would! I had sex with your mother like your father did!) to the funeral that had me rolling in my chair as Nielsen attempted to negotiate his way through the fine print on a coupon.

Don't ask. Just watch.


5. Best joke that got cut? A direct reference to the first Spider-Man - in which Rick watches the girl of his dreams through her bedroom window as she is getting dressed and she "just happens" to have a stripper pole there.


6. Best joke that was left in the movie? It involves the revelation that due to budget cutbacks The Daily Bugle is now having to share its' building with an insane asylum.

7. Biggest question after the movie was over? How long before Keith Giffen sues over this?



Ambush Bug and Dragonfly? Separated at birth? You be the judge!

Thursday, December 2, 2004

Looking To The Stars: Farewells, Goodbyes and Simpler Times.

As I sit down to write this on Thanksgiving Eve, I find myself with far too many thoughts to write a cohesive one-topic column. Thankfully, there is never a need for me to write a cohesive one-topic column. That was one of the benefits I was promised when I first got this job. Which is as good a link as any to the first thing on my mind...

As I'm sure you all have heard by now, our beloved fearless leader Ben Morse is leaving us this week for a job at Wizard magazine. Needless to say, I'm conflicted about the whole situation. Sure, I'm glad that Ben got this job which I know he's been dreaming of forever and a day. But it still sucks that we're loosing the guy who gave me, if not everyone at The Comics Nexus, our jobs way back when we were the smallest section of some wrestling site.

Still, I'm somewhat dismayed that of all the places to lose Ben to, we're losing him to Wizard, who exemplify everything that I personally feel is wrong with the comics news world. Still, he is happy and I take comfort in that. So beyond the first sentence, no negative words from me today.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't take any joy from writing negative reviews. I may make fun of bad stories and laugh off the antics of annoying, show-boating creators, but this is my defense mechanism. I never wish actual malice or harm to anyone, no matter how much I wish they would just STOP.

It was something of a shock then when I stumbled across the news while researching something else. Donald G. Jackson, the very first professional who wrote me about something I reviewed, was dead. He was also, it might be noted, one of the three creators who responded to something negative I reviewed.

Back in the days of Fanzing, I also tried my hand at movie criticism. But being an old Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan as I was, I briefly turned my hand to Bad Movie criticism at a site that would publish nearly anything turned into them. I thought it a good place to warm up then and find a voice for myself. The site was called It's A Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie. The movie, rented from the sci-fi section of the locally owned comic store with the huge sci-fi/horror section with tons of straight-to-video classics, was called "Legend of the Rollerblade 7". I'll skip the synopsis here (that's what the previous link to my review is for) but suffice to say it was bad. MST3K quality bad.

This was back when I was still naive enough to think that word never carries. That no professional, much less a film-maker, is going to care what an aspiring writer of 21 summers thinks of his work and of one lone page that says "This is crap and you shouldn't waste your time on it."

Boy, did I get an education. And not just when I got an e-mail from Donald Jackson, noting quite seriously that the Rollerblade 7 would come for me in the darkest night. No, that amused me more than anything. The education came when, tracking his e-mail address, I found Jackson's site, which I am sad to note is no longer up. And I learned of his filmmaking philosophy which explained everything.

Jackson, who trained under James Cameron (Yes, THAT James Cameron) all but single-handedly created a school called "Zen filmmaking". The basic gist of which is that if something unexpected happens during a shot that doesn't hurt the scene, use it. If your actors want to try and improvise something, let them. Shoot the picture and let fate sort it all out.

And in reading this, the movie came together for me. Sure, it was still low-budget and had some bad acting, but it was obvious that everyone on the set wanted to be there and that they were having fun. And that the movie was being made for that simple reason. You don't see a lot of that spirit in the world today, especially in the creative arts.

Whatever else may be said about Jackson's work, and I said quite a bit, his movies were never dull. You'd be hard pressed to find a plot sometimes or to explain what was going on at any given moment, but you could always find something to watch.

So here's a toast to Donald G. Jackson. And a recommendation; track down a copy of his classic "Hell Comes To Frogtown". It is one of the few movies with an outrageous title that actually manages to live up to everything outrageous the name promises.

And while we're on the subject of fun, a new book I checked out recently has had more "fun" in it than most of the comics I read on a regular basis. This wonder book is "Flare" by Heroic Publishing. The title has been around a while, but my comic book store only started carrying the book with this, its' third volume. Issue 2 just hit the stands last week and all I can say is that if you are a fan of books like JSA, the old JLA and Silver Age comics of all types, then this is something you should be reading.

One final thought. Green Lantern: Rebirth is greatness incarnate if only for the fact that in two panels, Geoff Johns finally managed to settle a point of much debate amongst Green Lantern scholars for the last ten years. But that topic I will save for next week... and the revised edition of "One Ring To Confuse Them All!"

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt Website.