Looking To The Stars - Matt's Mini-Series Monday!

BLACK CANARY #3
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Tony Bedard
Artists: Paulo Sequeira and Amilton Santos

THE STORY THUS FAR: Full-time superheroine Dinah Lance aka The Black Canary is trying to decide whether or not to accept the proposal of her long-time boyfriend Oliver Queen aka The Green Arrow, while trying to find a place for herself and Sin (her adopted Asian daughter who, like all Asian girls in comic books, is a deadly assassin in training) in this crazy, mixed-up world.

League of Assassins member, evil archer and all-around coward, bully, cad and thief Merlyn, in an effort to unite the various broken factions of the League of Assassins, has kidnapped Sin with the intent on turning her into their next Wunderkind.

THE GOOD PARTS

* Dinah gets some very good bad-ass moments here and a lot of "Bruce Willis" lines. My favorite?

MERLYN: (shooting two arrows at Dinah) Y'know, I beat your boyfriend single-handedly!
DINAH: (snatching one arrow in mid-air and holding it as the other arrow cuts into it and stops dead) So did I.

* Dinah is far from the helpless victim she was in the last Green Arrow arc. Indeed, she handly beats Merlyn and he escapes the fury of the Canary only because Dinah let's him go. Literally.

* The artwork is well-layed out and paced very well.

* The colorist rememebered that the arrow symbol on Speedy's chest is yellow, not flesh-tone, this time.

* Ollie is portayed as being a basically decent guy and a competent crime-fighter. I know I shouldn't have to make a big deal about this, but it's rare enough I think I have to... especially given that it looks like he perfectly executes a cunning plan in this issue.

THE BAD PARTS

* Dinah and Sin both making the porn-face on the cover.

* Mia's constantly calling Ollie "Boss". It makes her sound like Tatu from Fantasy Island.

* While the action is laid out well, some of the expressions are very strained. To give one example, Dinah looks WAY too panicky in the early scenes while talking to the police. It makes sense for her to be worried but her expressions make her look more hysterical than anything and it doesn't mesh well when she's angry and beating up Ollie a page later.

* One small logic problem: The League of Assassins planned to kill Dinah's ex. They know clearly, from Merlyn's security camera, that something went wrong with the plan when said ex shows up alive at Merlyn's office. So why do they allow Merlyn to go off on his own to investigate, especially when they know there's at least three, maybe more, superheroes in town trying to track them down? I'm just saying there's little point in being a master assassin if you don't send mooks out whenever you can.

* If it turns out Ollie DIDN'T plan out what happens in the last two pages... I will be very annoyed with DC Comics.


THE FINAL WORD: While I'm not Bedard's biggest fan, I must admit that he does seem to have a better handle on Black Canary and Green Arrow than anybody else at DC right now with the exception of Gail Simone. It's not perfect but it's pretty damn good.


Grade: B




HEWOES #1
Company Name: Parody Press
Writer: Bill Maus
Artist: Bill Maus

THE STORY THUS FAR: Do you remember the good ol' days when you used to pick up the new MAD Magazine from the grocery store magazine stand and read all the parodies of popular TV series and movies? The ones with the names changed around so that Sam Spade became Sham Spayed? The ones with cute little site-gags in the background like Beetlejuice standing in the background of the Batcave back in the Michael Keaton days?

Imagine one of those written with all of the jokes removed in favor of racism, pop-culture references for the sake of pop-culture references and puns too painful even for CRACKED! and you have a pretty good idea about what HEWOES is like.


THE GOOD PARTS

* Will make every MAD Magazine and CRACKED! your mom swore would rot your mind look like Mark Twain in comparison.

* Parody Press probably didn't spend much on this book, since one man did the writing, artwork and lettering.

* Rage inspired by the blatant racism of every scene with Hiro and Mohinder takes away from the pain of the unfunny jokes and sight-gags.


THE BAD PARTS

* Despite a wealth of material to mock, it spends most of its' time mocking the first episode.

* Most of the references are included for the sake of making a reference and have no relevance to anything. For instance, the scene where Claire drops her ring into a running garbage disposal is recreated - with Gollum on hand to shout about "The Precious" as we see that the ring, for some reason, is engraved with the wit and wisdom of Mr. T.

* Some gags, such as "Shave the Cheerleader, Shave The World" in order to stop the hair-cutting villain Stylar, are painful to read. And did I mention the racism with Hiro's Engrish chop-saki dialogue and Mohinder being featured as a 7-11 clerk on the cover?


THE FINAL WORD: Publisher Don Chin says it all on his website - "It's been about 8 years since the gang at Parody Press did anything new in comics and we have been just itching to get back in. If this book is anything like their previous work, I can see why it's been eight years since Parody Press printed anything. Don't quit your day-jobs.

Grade: F




SPIDER-MAN/RED SONJA #1
Company Name: Marvel Comics & Dynamite Entertainment
Writer: Michael Avon Oeming
Artist: Mel Rubi

THE STORY THUS FAR: Once upon a time, way back in Marvel Team Up #79, Chris Claremont and John Byrne thought it would be funny to team up Red Sonja and Spider-Man for a story. Many years passed and Tony Bedard used the villain of that piece, the evil wizard Kulan Gath, in an Exiles story where modern New York was changed into a Hyborian kingdom and all the heroes of that world along with it. Today, both stories are joined together in a union that may yet prove to be something more than a cheesy marketing gimmick for the nostalgia buffs.


THE GOOD PARTS

* The set-up is handeled smoothly and we're guaranteed at leat four issues of actual action from here on out.

* An nod to the original story, in how Kulan Gath describes his earlier defeat by Spider-Man

* What is more, Kulan Gath - defying every expectation of evil masterminds everywhere - actually admits to his past mistakes and enacts a plan to correct said mistake (i.e. keeping Spider-Man distracted by turning his ally in the last battle against him.)

* It takes place before Civil War. Depending on your feelings on Civil War, this may be a Bad Part.

* Peter is actually funny, heroic and... well, actually acting like Peter Parker for the first time in recent memory.


THE BAD PARTS

* Horrible Michael Turner cover... even for a Michael Turner cover.

* Despite appearing on the cover, Venom is not in this issue. This may be a Good Part given your feelings on Venom.

* Mel Rubi's no-ink art style just doesn't feel "right" for Spider-Man, somehow.

* I could be wrong and this is the Shakespeare fan in me talking, but somewhow... I don't remember any part of MacBeth where Lady MacBeth (who I assume MJ is playing) handles a sword.

* Am I alone in feeling disturbed by Peter talking about how much he liked when MJ came home in her costume dressed as a cat? Not because I find the idea of Peter having a furry fetish disturbing but... who was his last girlfriend before he and Mary Jane got married? Yeah... not something you want to go reminding your wife of Pete.


THE FINAL WORD: A solid opening. A bit light on the action, but given this is the exact same team that brought Sonja back to life in style, I expect we'll be seeing it soon enough.

Grade: C




SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL: SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST #1
Company Name: Marvel Comics
Writer: Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Artist: Khari Evans

THE STORY THUS FAR: Shanna was an independently-minded red-haired doctor, who gave up life in the modern world to protect the environment. Eventually, she met a guy named Kevin Plunder who also liked living in the jungle, got married, had a kid and they all lived happily ever after except for the occasional disturbance whenever the X-Men came to visit.

And then came Frank Cho, who decided that feminist/environmentalist thing was boring, and proposed a series staring a bleached-blond, Nazi-engineered, super-strong and NAKED bimbo who never spoke, using the name of Shanna. Marvel wisely forced Cho to draw clothes on her and give her dialogue resulting in a seven-issue mini-series that was almost, but not quite, as pointless and offensive as the Roger Corman classic Dinosaur Island.

Now, presumably because two other companies are doing Jungle Girl books, Marvel has brought back Frank Cho's Shanna in a book that does not feature Frank Cho as a writer, artist, plotter, inker or anything. This might have been a good thing had they not decided to recycle the exact same plot from Frank Cho's mini-series, only with pirates being substituted for army grunts.


THE GOOD PARTS

* 100% Frank Cho free!

* Khari Evans' Shanna artwork not as offensive as her Daughters of the Dragon work.

* Highlights the infinite superiority of the Sheena mini-series by Devil's Due Press in every department.


THE BAD PARTS

* Is based off of Frank Cho's Shanna and not the true red-haired jungle-goddess of yore.

* Will probably sell better than the DDP Sheena series, despite it's inherit lack of quality.

* Series provides DC Fanboys little reason to go to the Marvel Comics section of the rack, when there are plenty of terrible Palmiotti & Gray comics they can read back home.


THE FINAL WORD: Cho fans will likely be disappointed that he has nothing to do with this series, based on his character. The rest of us will be disappointed that despite this, the writing is still sub-par and the artwork is nothing special.

Grade: D

I Don't Usually Do This... : A Public Response To Some Reader Mail

... but this one was just so... so... silly, I just had to reprint it here.

I stumbled across this in my personal journal, which I was cleaning up and retagging. It's a bit of angry mail from someone who was notable in two respects. First, he didn't use any profanity in his letter. Second, he wrote something that was longer than a paragraph. Third, he signed his e-mail with the name of his D&D character.

The short version is that I wrote a column about "Shanna: The She-Devil". Shanna was created in 1972 as part of Marvel Comics' efforts to create more positive female role-models. At least, more positive than the stay-at-home super mom, the aspiring model who lifted things with her mind and the fashion designer who could shrink whom filled all the token girl posts on Marvel's three biggest superhero teams.

Dr. Shanna O'Hara was an animal doctor who fought against terrorists, poachers and criminals in her native Africa. Though her book didn't last very long, she proved popular enough to show up as a guest star in other comics over the next three decades.

A pin-up artist by the name of Frank Cho "revived the character". His definition of reviving the character involves "cutting out all the boring feminism and environmental messages" and centering the book on a totally nude Shanna, who doesn't talk and wrestles with dinosaurs.

Thankfully, Marvel realized that putting out a book devoted to nothing but female nudity just weeks after they got lots of positive press for publishing the first comic devoted to a Hispanic female superhero was kind of stupid. So the artwork was redone, various "details" removed, clothes sketched on... and the only real thing anyone was going to buy the book for was removed... and yet, it was still published.

The basic upshot of my article was to discuss the history of Shanna, talk about how bad the new book is and say that it was a horrible, exploitative and just plain DUMB move on the part of Marvel to do this with a character who was, historically, one of the first modern feminist heroes.

To put this in perspective for all you non-comic readers, It's like Wonder Woman becoming a nudist pole-dancer because some yutz writer thought the "Amazon warrior/Greek Mythology" thing was dull and he wanted to draw her spread out on a runway in a strip club.

I was expecting to get some irrate e-mail from one or two Frank Cho fanboys. But I wasn't expecting this... a letter from a guy whose given name in his e-mail, signature and the end of his letter were the name and class of a Dungeons and Dragons character!



Wowsers, that is the most blatant example of biased, judgemental, irrational"reviewing" I have ever seen. And I read Scott Keith. Would it kill you to say anything good about the book? Anything at all? Like "The lettering was good quality." Or something. While it seems obvious you have an pre-existing attachment to the Shanna character, this invective against a remake of a tired old marketing ploy merely portrays you badly. It reflects not at all against the new book or its characters as your opinions seem to have no grounding in logic, only your unsupported stance that the new book is junk.

OK, the new book is simple, and the first issue not particularly complex. And it would seem they stole part of Hellboys origin. (I will add the caveat that I don't read the Hellboy comic, I have only seen the movie. So maybe that's a whole other bag of worms.) But you don't point out any of that, only display your encyclopedic knowledge of another version of the book/character. I want to know why you didn't like this book, not how much better a 30 year old comic was. As far as I can tell, your review would have been exactly the same had you not actually read the book, excepting the direct references to the plot.

I have read your work before, and have enjoyed it. But this time your writing comes off as a childish rant against the corruption of a boyhood crush. Honestly, if you ignore the identical names, and dismiss your preconception of what the character should be, is the book all that terrible? I thought it was pretty blase myself, but the "thumbs up" panel got such a laugh from me that the book gets a second look when the second issue comes out. I will refrain from going into length about what I think of the original Shanna character, but I refer you to your own history. Which states that Shanna was created, not out of inspiration, but out of a need to capitalize on a political movement. How can that work out well? I'm just saying. And to request your readers track down what are undoubtedly many hundreds of dollars worth of long out-of-print comics to support your statements seems a little bit elitist. I may be way off on the prices there, but still, who has that kind of time? This had to have crossed your mind at some point while you were writing it, so why use that kind of non-support for your opinions?

Finally, is it really necessary to hound once again on the "adolescents" that you seem to think will be drawn to this type of artwork? That sort of thing is the kind of notion one expects to see outside of the comic-buying fandom, not in it. The hatred does not become you. Furthermore, I don't know a single person who fits that discription and also reads Liberty Meadows (which uses exactly the same type of artwork.) Is it possible that cheesecake artwork does not coincide with a adolescent mentality? I would also like to point out that you seem to have contradicted your stance on cheesecake. You implied that if there had been actual nudity, the book would have had at least one redeeming characteristic. This in opposition to your (also) implied hatred of cheesecake comics. How does one reconcile these conflicting views?

I hope to hear back from you, but I won't hold my breath.

Later...........

Berimon Aghar Truesilver
Paladin Extraordinaire



Well, I'll be damned if I'm going to take this abuse from someone who signs his e-mail with the name of his D&D character, so I wrote him back...



Greetings.

You may stop holding your breath! I have replied to you, as I do reply to everyone who sends me something about my writing. I apologize for taking until Tuesday to respond to your letter. Yesterday, I was out most of the day and spent the evening with my girlfriend, it being Valentines' Day and all.

First of all, I would like to thank you for managing, unlike many of those who have complaints about my writing, for managing to keep a civil tounge in your head. Many is the letter I have received that was filled with profanities, misspellings and misspelled profanities. At least, I assume "comie fagot" was meant to be something other than what was spelled.

Let's take this line by line, shall we?


Wowsers, that is the most blatant example of biased, judgemental, irrational
"reviewing" I have ever seen. And I read Scott Keith. Would it kill you to
say anything good about the book? Anything at all? Like "The lettering was
good quality." Or something.

If you want to see me say something good about a book, I have a review of Batman: The Man Who Laughs up that I already had three people tell me today was well worth reading. My review that is, not the book I already knew the book was worth reading.

Regarding lettering; no critic I know spends much time praising the letterer on a comic much, unless they are doing something extraordinarily ornate, such as Todd Klein's work in 1602. The simple fact of the matter is that we are very bitter that for all our skills in putting words together, there are some smucks out there who are pulling down six-digit salaries for having paid attention in Handwriting-class in the 2nd grade rather than pulling on little Rachel Irons' pigtails.

In all seriousness, I will say that Frank Cho draws a very nice woman. Would that he were capable of drawing more than the one.


While it seems obvious you have an pre-existing
attachment to the Shanna character, this invective against a remake of a
tired old marketing ploy merely portrays you badly. It reflects not at all
against the new book or its characters as your opinions seem to have no
grounding in logic, only your unsupported stance that the new book is junk.

Ah, I see the problem. You want me to use logical dictums to judge an entirely subjective medium that is based upon differing artistic principals.

Everything I write IS illogical by nature. Critics deal with emotional mediums and write about how they feel about things. The thing of it is, and I seem to repeat something like this every few months: my opinions are no better or worse than anyone elses. The reason I have a column is because I am an ordinary comic-reading guy who is very outspoken about what he likes and what he doesn't like who is able to write about that in an ammusing (to most people) manner.. This doesn't mean that I expect everyone to agree with me. If I had that kind of amazing power to influence people, Judd Winick would have been fired years ago.


And it would seem they stole part of Hellboys origin. (I will add the caveat
that I don't read the Hellboy comic, I have only seen the movie. So maybe
that's a whole other bag of worms.) But you don't point out any of that,
only display your encyclopedic knowledge of another version of the
book/character.

Just for your knowledge, the Hellboy origin in the movies was true to the comics. You should go read the BPRD and Hellboy comics. They are VERY good.

And thank you for calling my knowledge of the original Shana encyclopedic. Actually, I did do quite a bit of research for the article ahead of time so I didn't know EVERYTHING off the top of my head.


I want to know why you didn't like this book, not how much
better a 30 year old comic was. As far as I can tell, your review would have
been exactly the same had you not actually read the book, excepting the
direct references to the plot.

Funny. I thought I made it pretty clear that I didn't like the NEW Shanna because it is style over substance, art over story and the objectification of women over the empowerment of women that was the original impetus for the character. That was the main reason for my spending the opening part of the column talking about the reasons why the character was created in the first place.

Incidentally, it puzzles me how many people will accuse me and my colleagues of not having read a book we talk about whenever we give it a bad review. Like we have nothing better to do with our time than sit around, cackle like flying monkeys and plot about which comic creator's career we are going to destroy with bad publicity.


I have read your work before, and have enjoyed it. But this time your
writing comes off as a childish rant against the corruption of a boyhood
crush.

Actually, I didn't start reading comics until I was 19 and that was six years ago. So "boyhood crush" may be stretching the term a bit. Crush, as well, is a bit of simplification. Suffice to say, having been raised by a mother who was every bit the superhero in her own way, I have a great fondness for strong female characters in comics and am sickened to see one of the better ones reduced to a non-speaking flesh golem.


Honestly, if you ignore the identical names, and dismiss your
preconception of what the character should be, is the book all that
terrible?

Assuming you like an original plot in a book and characters that aren't cardboard cutouts, yes. Yes, it is that terrible.


I thought it was pretty blase myself, but the "thumbs up" panel
got such a laugh from me that the book gets a second look when the second
issue comes out. I will refrain from going into length about what I think of
the original Shanna character, but I refer you to your own history. Which
states that Shanna was created, not out of inspiration, but out of a need to
capitalize on a political movement. How can that work out well?

Well, Denny O'Neil and Stan Lee did okay when they started writing about minority issues in their comics. Milestone Comics, which spun out of a movement to create more minority superheroes, also did quite well. And Wonder Woman, which was by its' author with the intention of showing that women could be just as capable of men has done alright for itself as a title.


I'm just saying. And to request your readers track down what are undoubtedly many
hundreds of dollars worth of long out-of-print comics to support your
statements seems a little bit elitist. I may be way off on the prices there,
but still, who has that kind of time? This had to have crossed your mind at
some point while you were writing it, so why use that kind of non-support
for your opinions?

Actually, in these days of the Internet you can get most of those titles at fairly reasonable prices from various dealer. Lone Star Comics and Mile High Comics are two of the best, though I noticed that they have raised their prices on the original Shanna series in the wake of the new title when I was looking for a cover-scan of the first issue of the original Shanna #1.

But I was not trying to get everyone to go out and track down back issues.. I was just saying that if people DID want to read the old Shanna stories for themselves to see what the original character was like, here's what to look for. My intent was to help those who wanted to see for themselves; not to kick the horse in the head from the other side of the fence and dare it to get at me, so to speak.


Finally, is it really necessary to hound once again on the "adolescents"
that you seem to think will be drawn to this type of artwork? That sort of
thing is the kind of notion one expects to see outside of the comic-buying
fandom, not in it. The hatred does not become you.

Hatred is a strong word. Loathing is more accurate.

I work in a comic store. I am, despite being 20 pounds overweight, pretty much the antithesis of the stereotypical CMG (Comic Book Guy). I have a girlfriend. I have lived on my own for five years now. I have an active social life outside of my work and my collections.

I work very hard in my workplace and out of it to ensure perspective customers that there is nothing wrong with the hobby. I work with a lot of charities and other organiziations, talking to parents and showing them that comic books are a wonderous and glorious thing that gets kids interested in reading and the arts.

All of which is rather difficult to do when you have the CMBs drooling over books like "Shanna" just down the aisle and loudly exclaiming "Wouldya look at the ass on this bitch!"

Don't laugh. I've actually had this happen at work. He's now banned from the store and I haven't seen the young mother and her 7-year old son since.

So yeah: I have little paitence for the loud minority who use comics like "Shanna" and "Liberty Meadows" as a substitute for pornography... especially the ones who stop to browse through it in the store after we seal it up. And it really irks me that Marvel is catering to these people with books like "Shanna". Of course, they'll probably start doing the same with with Supergirl #1 once it comes out and then I'll just have a nervous breakdown and be taken away to a nice rubber room somewhere.


Furthermore, I don't know
a single person who fits that discription and also reads Liberty Meadows
(which uses exactly the same type of artwork.) Is it possible that
cheesecake artwork does not coincide with a adolescent mentality?

Perhaps. I will admit that my experience on this is limited to my own reading of one Liberty Meadows book (didn't do anything for me) and the customers at my comic shop who DO read (and I use that term loosely) Liberty Meadows. All of who, it might be noted, have always spoken more about the artwork and "doing that woman proper" rather than Frank Cho's writing.

Maybe its just my store? Maybe there are many fine gentlemen who pick up a copy of Liberty Meadows on the way home before putting on their dressing gown, pouring themselves a glass of brandy, settling by the fire, reading their comics and then settling down to continue reading the untranslated works of Samuel Becket in the original French.

I would
also like to point out that you seem to have contradicted your stance on
cheesecake. You implied that if there had been actual nudity, the book would
have had at least one redeeming characteristic. This in opposition to your
(also) implied hatred of cheesecake comics. How does one reconcile these
conflicting views?

The whole original intent of the book was to have a whole lot of pages of a naked, jiggling babe to ammuse those who would be ammused by such things. I find it rather funny that this one factor: the major selling point for the book that has been discussed over the last two years leading up to its arrival (i.e. nudity) has been totally removed by a fearful Marvel and that the one thing that created interest in the book (outside of Frank Cho's fans) is no longer there.

Simply put, I was speaking ironically when I said that nudity would have been a redeeming characteristic. I suppose one could make an argument that it would have been better for Marvel to keep the nudity in rather than to produce a half-assed pornographic comic (you'll forgive the pun, I hope) but I would argue against this book wether it had no nudity, partial nudity, full nudity or nude pictures of Joe Quesada. Especially if it had nude pictures of Joe Quesada!


Best Wishes,

Melmac Silvertongue
Half-Elf Bard Unparalled
Keeper of the Seven Rings of Vindiesel




And I was was writing this, he replied back, politely having conceded most of my points and asking me to read a review he wrote on his journal and let him know what I think of it.

Looking To The Stars - Gaysploitation!

Hello. Happy to see you all here. Been a while for some of you, hasn’t it?

Well, for those of you who are wondering why there’s been no column for two weeks, please read last week’s A-Kon Convention Report, which was mysteriously posted on Wednesday without much fanfare.

There were also some problems with my ISP which have now, thankfully, been worked out.

Still, despite all this, its’ been two weeks without a regular monthly column. Lots of things happened in the comics world in those to weeks though, and there’s a lot of news I have to cover in my own inimitable fashion. But with all the things that happened in the past three weeks since I wrote a regular column, one story stands above all others.



Frank Cho To Write 4-Issue Red Sonja Mini-Series



Now, I know what you’re thinking. Ol’ Unca Starman must have eaten some bad Pocky while at A-KON to think that this is all that important a story. Well, this story is more important than you think when you consider that it is a dark mirror of the attitudes shaping our business today.

Long time fans will remember my taking Mr. Cho to task for his Shanna: The She-Devil mini-series. (Those who don’t remember it can read it here.)

The short version is that Frank took a character who had been created as a feminist and environmentalist hero back in the 70’s and cut all of her character in order to create what would have been a T&A extravaganza had Marvel not wised up and made him put a costume on his creation at the last minute. Indeed, Cho’s exact comments when questioned upon the feminist background of Shanna, according to a recent Wizard Magazine Interview, were...

”When I signed on, Marvel sent me a bunch of those old issues, and let me tell you—I’m not sure what the hell was happening in the ’70s, but all of those damn hippies were smoking crack when they wrote those comics. It was such a B.S., feminist, environmental message! I was so pissed off when I finished reading them. That’s two hours of my life that I’ll never get back. It wasn’t a comic, it was more like a “Green Party” propaganda thing”


Yes. Because Steven Gerber is such a well-known crack-smoker.

In all seriousness, Cho, while being a talented artist, has shown himself to have little to no interest in doing his homework as a writer. He couldn’t write a character properly, so he created something new using the same name. And this attitude, this pandemic is become typical of far too many writers today.

That is why I as a Red Sonja fan, and the boyfriend of a fanatical Red Sonja fan, I am rather worried about Frank Cho getting his hands on everyone’s favorite amazon... metaphorically speaking.

Yes, Cho can draw a beautiful woman. If he were capable of drawing more than one face, he might be one of the greatest artists in the business. But there’s a reason why he mostly sticks to pin-ups and cute animals and that is he just isn’t strong enough to sustain a realistic series. And that’s a problem in a series like Red Sonja which, giant monsters and magic aside, is fairly well grounded in realistic characters and real-world physics.

This is not to say that there is not some creative license with the character. Scanty chainmail is not the warmest of garments but thankfully Sonja’s homeland in the Robert E. Howard world is a fairly large and warm land. And of course her armor doesn’t protect much physically but it serves another purpose.

As Sonja herself put it in one issue, “Men are easily distracted”. Throw in the fact that her speed is her greatest advantage in a fight and it makes sense she’d choose not to be weighed down with full-plate. Still, there is a fine line between showing a hint of exposed buttcheek and the chainmail thong that Cho and artists like him are so fond of drawing.

This creates an interesting problem for those of us in the business of bringing new readers into the comic book game. I know Sonja isn’t an empty-headed bimbo but a strong woman who uses her body as a weapon in more ways than one. But how does it look to the new reader? I can ramble on and on about the feminist underpinnings of the character and how she is a strong, independent woman in a world dominated by evil men and dark sorcery and it won’t do a thing for those who are going “Why does she have ass cleavage?”

And this leads us to consider a larger issue – at what point does cheesecake artwork stop being fun and start becoming exploitation. For that matter, at what point does the existence of beautiful women in comics start being exploitive?

Take the new Batwoman for example. I had several people e-mail to ask me what my opinion was of the fact that the new Batwoman was a lesbian. And my opinion was; why is this news?

Actually, it probably IS news to the readers of the New York Times, which broke the story, so let me rephrase that. WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL?

There have been lesbian characters in comic books before. Hell, Rene Montoya... one of the main characters of DC’s 52... is a lesbian. Maggie Sawyer, the head cop in Metropolis for years and late of the much missed Gotham Central? Lesbian, who managed to get her life-partner snuck into an episode of Superman: The Animated Series, no less.

Of course, the big deal is that this is a mainstream character... sort of... who is being outed. But as amused as I am that the Batwoman character, who was originally created along with Batgirl in the 50’s to counter charges made in the book Seduction of the Innocent that Batman and Robin were homosexual lovers, is now being used to promote the gay lifestyle, I am more disturbed by the wording used to describe the character.

To quote The New York Times Article Kathy Kane is “…is a wealthy (socialite), buxom lipstick lesbian”. Now, on the odd chance that someone out there is unfamiliar with the term, a lipstick lesbian, at least in popular culture, is a slang term for any lesbian character whose homosexuality exists primarily to titillate heterosexual males. For an in depth example of this, see most of the characters on the Showtime series “The L-Word”, most of the women in a Girls Gone Wild video and indeed any bit of mainstream lesbian pornography.

It’s called the Internet. There’s tons of it out there.

Now, let us think about that for a second. The character is introduced as being a beautiful, rich woman who likes other women. Apart from the fact that she dresses like a flying mouse, how is that really a change from the other attractive lesbian characters that are already occupying the DC Comics Universe?

It doesn’t. And that’s exploitive. It would be one thing if it were just presented as a fact about the characters, rather than being a banner headline in one of the nation’s highest-selling papers. As it is, it just screams of desperation – like DC Comics is trying to court the gay dollar by screaming “Hey! Look at us! We’re diverse and edgy and gay friendly!”

You know what DC would really do if they wanted to be edgy? Put out a Batwoman that is a wealthy, socialite overweight bull-dyke lesbian. Would this be stereotypical? Yes. Would it be a lot closer to the truth than some stunning supermodel? As someone who knows quite a few lesbians who describe themselves as dead butch, I say yes. Would it sell? Probably not.

You go to the other extreme- the not socially acceptable stereotype of gay women – and what would be the interest? Desperate, wanking fanboys wouldn’t buy it for the same reason they wouldn’t buy Liberty Meadows comics if Frank Cho suddenly converted to Islam and started drawing burkas on all his female characters. The gay comic-reading community (and there’s a minority group if ever there was one) would be up in arms over the phrase “bull-dyke”. The die-hard fanboys like me wouldn’t give a toss one way or the other so long as the writing was good. And ultimately, it would all be just as meaningless.

You want to see how to do this kind of thing right? Go read the Villains United TP. Without giving too much away, it gets revealed that two established female characters… both attractive, self-confident women, are both lesbians in a relationship. Did they make a big deal about it? No. Was there a big parade or articles written about it? No. Did it add something to the characters? Yes.

And that ultimate is the problem with the new Batwoman. She is hype for hype’s sake and her homosexuality is nothing more than a Winickian plot device meant to lure in readers. It is just as crass and exploitive as your average Frank Cho cover. And as a fighting liberal and a feminist, I am ashamed as a comic geek and a man that professional publishers can stoop so low in the name of sales.

Still, maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I’ve unwittingly become part of the censorship army that Erik Larsen claims is trying to rid comic books of big boobies. All I’m trying to say is that you can draw beautiful women but to avoid pushing the cheesecake angle and that you can have all the lesbians you want in a comic – just don’t pretend that having one more attractive women in a skin-tight outfit is something new and exciting.

Comments? The e-mail is down there.

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.

Looking To The Stars: The Fourth Annual Starry Awards

The Golden Globes. Mr. Blackwell’s Best & Worst Dressed List. And now (once again), it is time for The Starry Awards. Because it’s just not the start of a new year, without us yammering about the best and worst of last year.

In any case, welcome to what has become a yearly staple of the Comics Nexus: The Starry Awards for Excellence and Disgrace in Comics Writing.

Of course it has been pointed out that the comic industry already has the Eisners, the Harveys, the Eagles and the Wizard Awards. Why on Earth 2 then, these alleged people ask, do we need another damned award?

The Starry Awards were started so that I, the ever humble author of this column, might dispense awards to those I felt were most worthy of praise or damnation based on their works in the past year.

The Starries name ten stories in total. Stories, for the purpose of this award, can be single or multiple issues of one book or multiple books relating to one plot-line. The Starries are based solely upon the personal opinions of Matt “Starman” Morrison and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone else.

Five Staries are awarded to stories which, more than any other stories this year, made me stand up and cheer, burst into tears or just stopped me in the middle of reading to say “This is damn good stuff.” Five Staries are awarded (if you can call it that) to stories that, for some reason, I found disappointing. Stories that left me feeling that a mark had been missed and missed badly. Some of them are stories that, in fact, I think are just plain terrible.


That said: Here are the winners and losers!

The Best of 2005

Best Moment All Year: Welcome Back, Jordan
(As taken from Green Lantern: Rebirth #5)

This whole series was excellent, but the best moment of all came when Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner – two Green Lanterns of two generations – joined up to fight Sinestro, the greatest enemy to ANY Green Lantern anywhere. But as great as the fight scene was, the best moment of the year came afterwards when Hal offered his hand to Kyle and the two truly shook hands for the first time as friends and allies. What is more, as Kyle sold himself short... finding himself for the first time TRULY in the presence of the legend whom everyone measured him against... Hal cut him short and told Kyle that he was just as much a hero as him.

"Fighting from one end of the universe to the other. Risking your life to help someone who everyone else wrote off. Facing Sinestro One-On-One and living to talk about it. What do you think you've been doing, Kyle? Hiding under your drawing board?"

Mark Twain once said that "the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Such it is with Hal Jordan. With this scene, Geoff Johns gave both heroes a chance to shine while keeping them both in character and showed the generation of comic readers who grew up without Hal Jordan what my generation found so appealing. It wasn't just his courage or his fearlessness; it was the fact that he gave us the belief that we too could be better. And isn't that what superhero comics are all about, really?


Funniest Read All Year:GLA

A scathing satire of this year's trend to take unpopular and/or "joke" characters and kill them off, just for the sake of attracting attention and assuring the comic-reading public at large that "now things are serious", this book had more laugh out loud moments than anything else to come out this year.


Best Team-Up:Spider-Man/Human Torch: I'm With Stupid

Remember when comics were fun? Not funny, but just plain amusing. No brooding plots about the end of the world or realities being erased like mistakes on the blackboard. Just stories that just made you think that throwing on a pair of tights and running around on patrol would just plain be fun? Dan Slott does. And this mini-series was a tribute to those days even as it did address more serious matters. While I liked this book for the sheer silliness of moments like Peter Parker being forced into a job as Johnny Storm's personal photographer I loved it for the more touching moments where Spider-Man and Human Torch wind up talking about their lost loves while trying to build a Spidermobile that could climb walls. If that seems contradictory to you, then stear clear. But if you're the least bit curious as to how Spider-Man prompted Paste Pot Pete to change his name, track down this title in single comics or TP format.


Best Make Over: Red Sonja

Like Conan before her, she Roy Thomas lovingly nicknamed "Big Red" has returned in force to the world of comics. While the title has suffered somewhat from lateness (the fault, it seems, of the many pin-up artists working on the book's endless variety of alternate covers), it has proven to be one of the most engaging new titles this year. Thanks to Mel Rubi, Sonja the Red has never looked better and her dialogue is as sharp as her sword thanks to the wonderous Mike Carey and Michael Omening.


Best Retro Tale:Thor: Blood Oath

Speaking of Michael Omening, he proved capable of writing his own fantasy works solo in what is easily the best work done with Thor in recent memory. Mayhaps I am nostalgic for a monthly Thor title but Omening's mini-series, detailing the adventures of the God of Thunder and his brothers in arms The Warriors Three to go upon a quest for great items of legend in order to appease the angry king of the giants and prevent war, satisfied my mythological needs quite well.

The Worst of 2005

Most Likely To Cause Continuity Robots Heads To Explode:Every X-Men Team Book All Year Including House of M.

'Nuff said!


The “What The Hell Just Happened?” Award: JLA: Cold Steel

This book wasn't really all that confusing compared to some past nominees. I'm just wondering who thought there was an audience for books about Superheroes piloting mech versions of themselves, apart from the overgrown kids who still watch Power Rangers reruns?


The “I Waited For This?!?!” Award: All-Star Batman and Robin

It came down to a four-way race this year between every issue of All-Star Batman and Robin, Secret Wars #5, every issue of Ultimate Iron Man and every book written by Warren Ellis for Marvel Comics. I disqualified Ellis since he got this award last year and I felt someone else deserved a chance. And Ultimate Iron Man, while not worth the wait, did at least have some good ideas behind it even if the execution fell flat.

Secret Wars #5 was late, over-hyped and the ending suggested that on paper, nothing much had really changed. Anywhere. And yet, I still have to give this one to All-Star Batman and Robin. Because I actually had high hopes for it and there was actually a chance at quality.

It seems like a no-brainer; pair the most acclaimed Batman artist of the last twenty years with the most acclaimed Batman writer and watch the money roll in, right? Well, the money may be rolling in but the product is not the high quality piece of work we hoped for.

Miller is, quite frankly, writing Batman in a style that is more appropriate to Sin City than to the Dark Knight Detective. In fact, it would not be too far of a stretch to say that Miller is writing Sin City Gotham Noir. Batman kills cops, curses and calls Robin a retard and drives a big damn car that demolishes everything it hits. Things hit new depths this past week with Issue #3, which mostly centers around an Irish bartender at a place called The Black Canary starting a fight after getting sexually harassed once too often. Admittedly an engaging scene, but totally unconnected to the story or action at hand.


Worst Makeover of the Year: Shanna The She-Devil

While the artwork was decent enough, Frank Cho's attempt to revive Shanna the She-Devil was like most pop singers– nice enough on the surface but completely devoid of intelligence or substance where it counts.

I've discussed the specific history in past columns, but Shanna started out in the 70's as an attempt to bring a more feminist (i.e. not obsessed with clothes, motherhood or becoming a model) character into Marvel Comics. While the attempts were somewhat ham-fisted, the thought was there and Shanna was popular enough to guest often in Spider-Man and Daredevil.

Cho took all of the rich history and thought behind the character and scrapped it in favor of his own vision; a Shanna who would be free of all that boring independence and eco-friendly philosophy. This news Shanna would star in what basically amounted to a seven-issue full-color, full-frontal nudity stroke book.

Thankfully Marvel came to their senses on releasing such a book during a time when the industry as a whole was trying to emphasize the idea of kid-friendly comics and Cho was forced to cover up his genetically engineered Nazi superwoman version of Shanna with a relatively more modest burlap bikini. But nothing could cover up the fact that without the gratuitous nudity, cursing and violence that this book promised as a MAX title, it was as pointless as Jessica Simpson's inclusion to a think-tank.

The Worst Comic Of the Year Award: Liberality For All #1

Usually, when I write about a work I've reviewed previously in the year during this piece, I will try and write something new. This year, however, I cannot think of any way to improve upon what I wrote about this book previously. I have nothing to add save that we can now add "two months late" to this book's lengthy list of sins. Hopefully, the book's lateness is due to whoever was funding this piece of severely horrible immature twaddle deciding that with talk of impeachment growing every day, this is probably not the time to be courting the ever-decreasing neo-con comic-reading market.

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.

Looking To The Stars: She-Devil May Care

Am I the only one who cares about the total mess Frank Cho has made out of the good name of Dr. Shanna O'Hara?

While giving myself a refresher course in the history of the original "Shanna The She Devil", I determined that out of the eighty websites that came up during one web search, only four of them yielded any information about the character outside of Frank Cho's new pet project. Of those, only one gave any suitable background information on the character whom was Marvel Comic's first attempt at creating a feminist icon. Yes, even before Ms. Marvel!

Let us go back to a different time; when there was great social unrest, the country was torn apart by a war many felt to be unjust and a president of questionable moral integrity sat in the White House.

(Well, okay. Maybe not THAT different a time.)

The year was 1972. The Women's Liberation movement was becoming a true force to be reckoned with. Helen Reddy had just released I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar. And Marvel, seeing the way the wind was blowing, decided that perhaps they should start publishing some books about empowered, modern female heroes.

And so it was that they release three titles. Night Nurse; a rather forgettable title centering around three nurses working night-shift in a hospital and their many adventures. The Cat, whose base concept would later be used to create a different "The Cat", who would eventually go on to become the heroine Tigra. And finally, "Shanna, The She-Devil, which would go on to have the greatest lasting effect upon The Marvel Universe.

Shanna O'Hara had a happy enough childhood. Raised in Africa on a nature preserve by her father, a former big-game hunter who has turned to conservation, Shanna was raised with a deep respect for nature and a love of animals. She would later go to school in the United States, where she would get a doctorate in veterinary sciences and get a job with a zoo.

It is while working at the zoo that Shanna began to develop a deep hatred of modern "civilization", particularly in regards to how badly the animals in her care are treated by her co-workers and the patrons of the zoo. It is then that she decides to do the only sensible thing a rational woman can do; she dons a leopard-skin bikini, rescues a panther and a leopard (named Ina and Biri, respectively) and goes to bless the rains down in Africa faster than you can say 'Toto'.

Okay, that is pretty crazy on the surface of it. But that is no more irrational than radiation being able to make you big, green and strong.

Shanna would then go on to a lucrative if brief career. She protected the wilds from poachers and fighting third-rate villains such as The Mandrill. She also struck a blow for women everywhere by proving that she could rescue the wannabe love-interest who kept getting in their way just as well as any Superman. In Shanna's case, she had to keep bailing out a thick slab of Irish beefcake by the name of Patrick McShane. Still, it may have been too much, too soon.

Still, one cannot fault the talent behind Shanna for the book's inability to take off. With covers by legendary artist Jim Steranko (Check out this page for a peek at the first one.), artwork by long-time Wonder Woman artist Ross Andru and scripts/plots from Howard the Duck creator Steve Gerber, this book had the talent to take it into the stratosphere.

But despite Wonder Woman making the cover of the newly-launched Ms. Magazine, Marvel may have overestimated the number of enlightened women reading comics. The numbers were lower than they had hoped and all three of these books were canceled with a speed unseen even today at Marvel. Night Nurse and The Cat lasted a scant four issues. Shanna did little better, lasting until issue five before getting the axe.

Still, Shanna would later move on to better things. She became a frequent partner of Spider-Man and Daredevil throughout the 70's and 80's and would have a brief relationship with the latter hero. Though the romance didn't last, they would remain close enough that Shanna would later name her son Matthew in Matt Murdock's honor.

That son, of course, came at the hands of Shanna's most famous romantic partner: the man she eventually married. Kevin Plunder, aka Ka-Zar - protector of the lost jungle known as The Savage Land. Perfect place for a woman seeking to get away from it all. Sadly, while Ka-Zar's several solo series lasted slightly longer than Shanna's, neither was able to completely escape from the feeling among some fans that in a world of flying superheroes, the adventures of a married couple and their son living in a jungle fighting monsters is pretty dull stuff. Never mind that Tarzan and The Phantom did just fine with that concept for years.

So what does any of this have to do with Frank Cho's "Shanna, The She-Devil"? Thankfully, at least from the view point of someone who has been following the adventures of Dr. Shanna O'Hara through a whole lot of cameos, not bloody much.

Cho has gleefully disavowed HIS "Shanna" from having anything to do with Ka-Zar, her son, The Savage Land or indeed any of the rich feminist or environmentalist roots of the original character. To quote Mr. Cho from a 2002 interview...


To be quite honest, I've never read any Ka-Zar or Shanna stories in my life until couple of months ago. To prep me for Shanna, Marvel sent me a bunch of 1970's Shanna comics and couple of 1980's Shanna comics... Those Shanna comics were some of the worst comics that I've ever read in my life. So, I called up {senior editor} Axel Alonso at Marvel and told him that I'm completely reinventing her and build her up from scratch. No more B.S. animal rights or environmental message or stupid-ass stories about her being a daughter of a big game hunter or her being married to that Tarzan-lite, Ka-Zar. And Axel Alonso, bless that man, gave me his full support to radically redo Shanna.

To be honest, I was rather relieved to read those above words. Suddenly, it all made sense... why the book that Frank Cho has released has absolutely nothing to do with the original character; the one who I fell in love with reading Mark Waid's run on Ka-Zar.

Okay. So we aren't going to have any of the original plot or characterization behind Shanna. What CAN we expect to see in this series, Mr. Cho?

She's literally a brand new character with no ties to other books and stories. No Plunder clan. No stupid animal rights or environmental message. Nothing. It's strictly Shanna. You have to read it to see what I'm taking about."

Hmmm... so we're going to write the character by completely discarding everything that makes her unique and turn her into a general generic jungle bimbo, akin to what we've seen in Avatar Press' Jungle Fantasy? Interesting. But what will this new Shanna be about?

...action, suspense, humor, violence, nudity, and a whole lot of jiggling...

Well, not so much nudity now that Marvel has gone and Nerfed what was meant to be an adults-only book and thus removed the only worthwhile element of this revamp. I have said it before and I'll say it again; the only people buying Frank Cho books are adolescent boys in men's bodies, who are too scared to go out and buy a Playboy Magazine to satisfy their natural urges.

And having read the first issue of Frank Cho's Shanna (which you can read for free at Mile High Comics) I can tell you that the only serviceable use it has is as pornography for teenage boys. You can get the same basic effect of reading this book by watching Jurassic Park with the sound muted and a nude-picture of Gena Nolin taped to one side of the screen.

The story is trite stuff. Generic army grunts find a secret Nazi base (we know it's a Nazi base because they have Nazi flags all over it: nice way to keep it secret) and discover a naked woman grown inside a tank. They let her out, explore around and find a woman hiding inside a closet. Faster than you can say "dummkopf", the raptors are loose and ready to eat everyone. Bullets seem to have limited effect, but the mysterious naked (now covered under a blanket, John Ashcroft style) woman is able to snap their necks easy as pie.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about this series anymore. For once, Marvel's lassie faire editorial policy will work to our benefit. If this story no longer has to be part of a set continuity, then it doesn't matter how poorly written it is. It doesn't matter that one of the first feminist characters of Old Marvel has been turned into a screaming example of why most women avoid comic shops like the plague. It doesn't even matter that Shanna is a blonde when she's supposed to be a redhead.

Why? Because you boys can have your fun for the next seven months. We real men will enjoy ourselves reading about a real woman.

Still, don't take my word for it. Here is a list of every comic in my collection featuring the original Shanna, The She-Devil. I encourage you all to track these issues down and judge for yourselves which is better; the feminist crusader or the wordless wild-woman.

Shanna, The She-Devil #1-5
Rampaging Hulk : Vol. 2, #9
Ka-Zar : Vol. 2, #1-2
Daredevil : Vol. 1, #109, 111-113, 117
Marvel Two-In-One #3
Savage Tales #8-10
Marvel Fanfare : Vol. 1, #56-59
Contest of Champions #1
Ka-Zar : Vol. 3, #1-32, 34
Uncanny X-Men Annual #7 and #12
Avengers : Vol. 1, #257
Iron Man : Vol. 1, #202
Fantastic Four : Vol. 2, #316-317
West Coast Avengers Annual #3
Marvel Comics Presents #13, 16, 68-77
Uncanny X-Men #250, 274-275, 354
Ka-Zar: Graphic Novel
Namor : Vol. 1, 16-19, 21
Tales of the Marvel Universe #1
Sensational Spider-Man #13-15
Ka-Zar Annual '97
Ka-Zar : Vol. 4, #1-20
Captain America : Vol. 3, #29, 31

One last thought, before I close out. For the real woman in my unreal life.

Sierra, baby? Happy Valentine's Day!

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.