Sheena #3 (Moonstone Books 2014) - A Review

Sheena #3 opens in the thick of the action, as the jaguar men - who had only attacked in stealth before - make their presence known.  The Queen of The Jungle has fought many strange things before but beasts that walk as men are unusual even by her standards!  Can she conquer this new supernatural evil while simultaneously protecting an ancient temple from looters and the treacherous Colonel Pinto and his secret police?


The final chapter of "Return of The Jaguar Men" delivers the classic pulp action one would expect of a Sheena comic.  Paul Storrie's script - based on a plot by David de Souza - brings things to a satisfying conclusion while simultaneously setting up material for future stories.  It is gratifying to see this classic heroine written as being more than a beautiful bruiser and Storrie's script offers Sheena ample opportunity to showcase her cunning and intelligence as well as her ability to fight.


The artwork by Shawn McCauley is comparable to the work of Bruce Timm and Darwyn Cooke.  Stylized and streamlined, McCauley's linework is simple yet is rendered deeper by atmospheric inking.  The final effect is reminiscent of Will Eisner in his prime.

Sheena #2 (Moonstone Books 2014) - A Review

When we last we left The Queen of The Jungle, she was launching dual investigations into a group of soldiers enslaving the local natives and reports of a jaguar attacking a local archaeological dig.  The case has quickly become personal for Sheena (a.k.a. heiress Rachel Caldwell) as her pet jaguar Yagua has been implicated in the attacks and is being hunted by the ruthless Colonel Pinto of the Val Verde Secret Police.  And that's ignoring the rumors of a race of jaguar men, who legend has it made use of the recently uncovered temple to perform dark rites involving human sacrifice and cannibalism!


Sheena #2 is an improvement on its first issue in every respect.  As I noted in my review, the first issue was an enjoyable read but I feared it presumed too much in thinking the reader would already be familiar with the established cast first introduced in the 2007 Sheena mini-series.  By contrast, this issue takes care to introduce us to all of Sheena's supporting cast and identifies them all by name.

This issue also features a number of good character moments that the first issue lacked.  My favorite of these involves bodyguard Martin Ransome - a man's man if ever there was one - showing he's more than dumb muscle after being called 'Sherlock Holmes' sarcastically.  There's also a funny bit where Sheena fights against the bimbo stereotype she normally plays at being in her secret identity, in a tribute to a classic joke.  


The artwork by Shawn McCauley is a perfect match for the story.  McCauley's general style is exaggerated in a way that is reminiscent of the great Will Eisner - fitting given that Eisner was one of Sheena's co-creators!  This streamlined style lends itself well to the issue's fluid action sequences but also allows the characters some intricate expressions in their close-ups.

Bottom Line: If you're a fan of classic pulp adventure comics, Sheena should be on your pull list.  

Sheena #1 (Moonstone Books 2014) - A Review

Moonstone Books' Sheena #1 is a good comic but a bad first issue.  This is because, in all the ways that matter, this isn't a first issue but a continuation of the 2007 Sheena series printed by Devil's Due Publishing.  Reinvented for the modern day by Die Hard screenwriter Steven E. de Souza, this series established The Queen Of The Jungle as Rachael Caldwell - an heiress thought lost in the Amazon as an infant, who was raised by friendly natives and taught the ways of the animals.   Now, having been reunited with her robber-baron grandfather, Rachael plays at being a vapid party girl by day while spending her nights protecting the rain-forests as Sheena.

This is briefly explained at the start of this issue but precious little else is.  It seems to have been assumed that anyone reading this book will already be familiar with the DDP Sheena series, which is a bad assumption after several years of inactivity and never a good idea for a first issue.  We do get glimpses of Sheena's supporting cast - shaman Don Felipe, environmentalist Bob Kellerman and bodyguard Martin Ransome - but only Kellerman is identified directly by name.  In fact, Martin Ransome's name is not mentioned once in the whole issue!


The artwork by Jake Minor is equally problematic.  Minor is a good artist but I don't believe him to be the right artist for this story.  Minor's style is bold and exaggerated in a way that is reminiscent of Will Eisner's The Spirit.  This would be a fine thing were the script written on the same light-hearted level as Eisner's The Spirit but this book has several bloody moments (including one man taking an arrow through the neck and another man being devoured by piranhas) that are graphic enough to push this book into T+ (16 and Up) territory.  These scenes, as rendered by Minor, look goofy rather than horrifying.



Despite these problems, I enjoyed Sheena #1 immensely.  More care could have been taken to reintroduce the supporting cast but Sheena herself is explained well enough.  More importantly, Sheena is depicted as a capable heroine.  And while I may take issue with certain scenes looking odd, Minor's action sequences are well-choreographed.  There is enough right with this book for me to recommend it, provided you pick up a copy of the first two DDP Sheena collections along with this first issue.    

Champions On-Line - First Impressions

Champions On-Line started up earlier this month - the second attempt to create a superhero-themed MMO (The first being City of Heroes) and the first to be based on a pre-existing property.

I played CoH from day one onward and was a fairly active player on and off for the last few years so I was rather anxious to see what might be done with an improved graphics engine and years to improve upon CoH, for the team that made Champions is the same studio that developed CoH As such, I feel fairly qualified to appraise Champions in comparison to the old guard.



COSTUME DESIGN

Some critics accused City of Heroes' costume-creation utility of being more fun to play with than the actual game. While I don't think that's true, CoH did offer players a wide variety of options in clothing their characters. Champions is similarly well-equipped... for the most part.

Champions does give you options. A LOT of options. There's all sorts of hair-styles, mask design, emblems, patterns - even optional textures such as leather and metal to make different parts of your costume look, well... different. You can even change your costume up so different gloves and boots have different colors if you're going for a Harelquin effect.

The one drawback is that despite all these options, things seem somewhat limited in certain regards. For instance, there's not a lot of options if you want to create a superheroine who looks sexy without looking trashy.

Created in about two minutes, trying to emulate the Star Sapphire uniform.


Let's say that - by way of an example - you're trying to make a Black Canary style heroine. It's trickier than you'd think and a lot harder than it should be.

If you want the classic costume, there's no strapless bustiers that don't either expose the belly...

...or have girly ribbon trim on them.


And the one corset is of the "round the waist, not pushing up the goods" variety.

However, putting together a decent Red Sonja was pretty easy.

This was the closest I could get to a Classic Canary, minus the leather jacket, after an hour.


There's five different types of bras (some of which require double-stick tape to hold anything) and several options for garters on thigh-high stockings. Despite this, there is no way to have fishnets on a bikini bottom unless they are thigh-highs... or coming out of bike shorts!

Admittedly, this does kind of work in a Golden Age way...


The options for men aren't much better but for entirely different reasons. You are offered a choice of various builds and body types, but because of Champions' cartoonish style you need to do some tweaking if you want anything other than a big, square-jawed, Bruce-Campebellish bruiser.

To give you some idea, this fellow is the default "slim" hero.


Granting that this is a superhero game and that overblown musculature comes with the territory... well, some of these basic builds are just ludicrous. I discovered this the hard way as I attempted to make a Green Arrow expy.

Ollie may have overdone the weight-training just a bit.

The end result of 15 minutes of playing around with the sliders.



POWERS

Gone are the preset classes like Tanker and Scrapper. In Champions, there is only your power set to determine what abilities you have and whether you are a ranged or melee fighter. This is a bit of a difference from CoH, where all the character concepts and power concepts are fragmented and limited to certain classes.

Another nice touch is that while you can choose one of the major power sets at the start, you also have the option of choosing one power from two differing power sets at the start. So if you'd like to have fire powers AND martial arts training, you can do that.

For the purposes of this article, I decided to try my hand at making a Black Canary equivalent. Unlike City of Heroes, there is no "sonics" powers set in Champions. Gadgeteers, however, can start with a sonic blaster weapon. And martial artists get a high damage kicking attack early on.

Sounds like a winner, especially since one of the other big selling points of the game (one which is quickly being adapted for City of Heroes is the ability to determine what part of your body different attacks come from as well as the color of the energy released. So if you want to shoot green flames from your mouth instead of the usual red flames from your hands... you can do that.

Well, almost. It turns out this feature is limited to certain powers and the game won't let you redirect your Sonic Blaster so it looks like it is coming from your head.

It's just not the same...



GRAPHICS

On the plus side, the graphics are a HUGE step-up from City of Heroes. The game honestly does look like a comic book come to life, with your characters standing out from the backgrounds in a manner similar to other recent animated games (The Simpsons, Harvey Birdman, Family Guy). The fonts for when you do damage to an enemy are suitably cartoonish and this still shot of my Sheena-expy character (The Jungle Princess) shows a detail my eye didn't quite catch until I saw it - speed lines when your character attacks!

On the downside, this stylization doesn't lend itself well to creating particularly realistic depictions of the human form. In fact, if you don't do quite a bit of work, most female characters will end up look like a blow-up doll. The male characters don't fair much better, with facial hair looking very cartoonish. Of course that IS the style of the game but it's a bit jarring for those of us who don't want our goatees jutting out half-a-foot from our chins.


GAMEPLAY

Gameplay is a snap to get into. You're given your choice of several default keyboard/mouse configurations at the start (including one based on City of Heroes and the layout is customizable beyond that.

One idea that is taken from CoH that is developed futher here is the idea of powered attacks and combos. Limited in CoH to some of the newer power sets, abilities such as Darkness and Archery allow you to, by holding down the attack button, either build up more powerful energy blasts before releasing the button or unleash an increasingly more powerful volley of shots. Combat is a real thrill and grinding for a particular enemy is rarely dull.

On the flip-side, the game doesn't require nearly as much strategy as City of Heroes. Partly because you gain new powers so slowly and partly because the interface - console friendly as it is- reduces most actual combat to a button-mashing fest as you desperately try to refuel your energy so you can do the powered-up attacks.


THE FIRST ADVENTURE

This is the one area where, bar none, Champions Online does improve on City of Heroes. This is not to say that the opening area of City of Heroes is bad but it's just not quite as high action as the opening of Champions.

In CoH, your character is trapped behind enemy lines as a mutagen contamination has infected various homeless people and turned them into crazed maniacs.

In Champions Online, you fight alongside The Champions themselves while fighting an alien invasion!

It just doesn't compare really.



Overall, despite some reservations about the costume system, I'm enjoying Champions On-Line so far. I'll report back again in a week or two and let you know if the game holds my interest past the early stages.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 1/28/09

Since I had a snow day from work today and since things were good and melted by the time the comic shop opened... a rare Wednesday update!



JACK OF FABLES #30 - I agree with Jack - not nearly enough of him in this comic. Still, I can forgive it for the sight of Paul Bunyan doing battle with a sentient giant library.


SHEENA: DARK RISING #3 - A woman in a leopard-print bikini doing battle with Nazis should not be this dull nor so poorly illustrated. At least it avoids the cheesecake extremes of Jungle Girl but would it kill them to use an artist who had access to an anatomy textbook, if not a formal education in how bodies should look? Every single page of this comic looks like a preliminary sketch.


WONDER WOMAN #28 - The fight continues against Genocide and we are told about how very bad it is that said creature has Diana's lasso. Ho hum. Despite this, we get to see Black Canary being a competent leader AND fighter. Sad that this should happen during a guest-shot in Wonder Woman rather than in her own comic but I'll take what I can get at this point.

The real meat of the issue takes place in the "smaller" scenes, where we find out that Cheetah is somehow behind Sarge Steel's madness and we learn more of Zeus' plans for the all new, all-male Amazon clan and their plans to end war... by killing all of the warriors.

Still, good choice for Jason to be the leader of the new Manazons. He's a Greek Hero, a leader of men, a clever and resourceful king and a brazen jackass whose sons were killed because he wanted to ditch the woman who betrayed her family to help him get The Golden Fleece and then decided to dump her for a trophy wife.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 11/26/08 & 12/4/08

The week of Thanksgiving, all the comics I got were for my girlfriend. This week, all the comics I got were for me. Kinda funny, that.



BIRDS OF PREY #124 -

Line Of The Issue: "Hear that sound? That's Black Canary's motorcycle. Six other pissed-off heroes are right behidn her and about to walk in. Wanna show them too?" - Misfit, to The Joker, after being told that he just killed Barbara and asking "Wanna see?"

Fans of Barbara Gordon and all other Bat-fans take note - this is a must-have issue. I've ragged a bit on Tony Bedard - justifiably, most think - for some of the stupid, over-the-top villains presented as part of the ruling class of techie town Platinum Flats. But I can forgive all of that for the moment in which Barbara Gordon manages to get back at The Joker in the perfect fashion. Highlight the text below if you really want to know...

Barbara smacks The Joker in the teeth with an escrima stick, breaking most of his teeth and ruining his famous smile. Eye for an eye, tooth for a leg justice at its' best. And while Joker has kidnapped a dental surgeon and had his teeth repaired in the issue denouement and the only thing that saved Barbara from being killed after that was the timely intervention of The Birds, I still count it as a moral victory. Barbara, for better or worse, embraced her physical changes and refused to become a victim whereas The Joker couldn't deal with the effect of a physical assault changing who he was and went out of his way to put things back to normal while denying the original attack. In the end, Barbara proved she was stronger than The Joker.

Given BoP's cancellation, this panel seems oddly bittersweet.

It's okay, Dinah. You've got a writer who will actually let you do stuff in your own book again starting next week!


DOCTOR WHO: THE FORGOTTEN #4 -

Line Of The Issue: "The problem with non-intervention is that someone always ignores it." - The Seventh Doctor

At last - it all gets explained. Well, sort of. There's still a lot up in the air but at least most of the inaccuracies and inconsistencies I noticed before have been explained away with one revelation. Highlight for the spoiler.

The Doctor isn't really trapped in a museum devoted to him but is under some form of psychic attack by the same bug creature that attacked Donna in the 4th Season episode "Turn Left". All the inaccurate things from before - Martha calling herself a doctor when she hadn't become one yet and the phrase "There's something on your back" sounding familiar when The Doctor didn't hear that said until after Martha stopped traveling with him among them - were hints that something is up and The Doctor is trying to stop his memories from being erased using the Museum mind-scape as a battle ground.

As before, the highlight of the issue is the flash-backs with older incarnations of The Doctor. While this issue's flashbacks aren't quite as execiting to me as last issue, I'd put that down to my loathing of The 6th Doctor and my unfamiliarity with the 7th rather than any fault with the stories themselves. The 6th Doctor is every bit the blustering loud-mouthed con-man he should be though the 7th Doctor seems oddly subdued given what I know of the character. Still, should be an interesting read when we get to the virtually unknown 8th Doctor in the next issue and return to the Christopher Eccleston days as well.


JACK OF FABLES #28 -

Line Of The Issue: Next: I eat some tacos. Oh, and I win the war, then everyone stands around for three issues telling me how fantastic I am as they give me more medals. Oh, and in the issue after that? All three of them -- at once.

Still the funniest damn book on the market, bar none. Not much else to say.

This one is for an old friend - a simple man of simple wants, who, like Jack, dreams of being able to tell attractive women to fix him tacos and wait for him at his place.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #145 -

Line Of The Issue: "No need to Bob... He umm... inserted it (Bob's severed arm) into your, um, body for easy "carry-all retrieval". - Sara, retrieving a fallen party member's body, after being reminded to be sure to get his severed arm as well after a an ape attack.

The plot thickens in the Hard 8 offices with Waco Bob joining Jo Jo Zeke in quitting his job. And in the Knights campaign, their past continues to haunt them as they find out the helpful villagers caring for them are cultists of a thief god religion started by one of Bob's old characters.

And yes - the replacement movie column for Spoony's "Gamer's Rant" STILL sucks. This month "Gaming The Movies" instructs you on how to spice up your Car Wars campaign the bargain-bin DVD in the making "Death Race". That's assuming, of course, you still have a copy of the 1982 RPG around and are willing to sit through a movie that has less plot than most video games these days. Of course that's probably a given if you're one of the people who kept trolling Jolly Blackburn into firing The Spoony One.

Mr. Blackburn - I know you probably can't bring Noah back. But couldn't you at least replace his column with a gamer movie column that is funny?


SHEENA: QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE - DARK RISING #2 -

Line Of The Issue: "Curious you did not object when MY garments were taken, Bob Kellerman." - Sheena, to her environmentalist sidekick, as he is forcibly stripped by cannibals.

Query - is it fan service when your attractive female lead is stripped of everything save her jewelry and a few strategically replaced floral leis for reasons which are, at best, ambiguously related to the plot, if...

1) her male companions receive the same treatment.
2) there are no gratuitously posed shots or splash-pages during the entire scene she is effectively naked.
3) the one part where her lei slips and you see a flash of butt crack, is illustrated in a long shot and there's nothing sexual about the moment.

I find myself torn in considering this question. Because there's very little reason for Sheena to go through with this plan where she allows herself and her companions to be captured without fighting by a group of Nazi-worshiping cargo-cultist cannibals in order to buy them time while awaiting the collapse of a dam she thinks is coming other than to allow for a cheesecake scene where Sheena (and her companions) are stripped down to nothing, prepared and then tied up basically naked over a hot fire.

And yet, despite this contrivance, the artwork doesn't even approach the cheesecake-ridden excesses reveled in by other books starring blonde jungle goddesses. Sheena is depicted as being competent and in-control the whole time - not a helpless piece of eye candy by any stretch of the imagination,

That, along with the brilliant plotting, wonderful comedic timing and characterization which makes plans like this seem feasible is all I need to recommend this book to any comic book reader. Thank goodness that at least one of Will Eisner's creations is in the hands of a writer who know how to uphold his legacy and write a heroine who can be sexy without being trashy.


WONDER WOMAN #26 -

Line Of The Issue: "I gave you an order, soldier. You were to observe the saboteurs, not screw around with them on some *%##$ magic clam shell." - Director Steel, to Nemesis, regarding a photo of him and "enemy of the state" Wonder Woman.

Could somebody who has been reading all the New Gods books and everything connecting Amazons Attack explain something to me, please?

It was my understanding that The New Gods had taken the Olympian Pantheon hostage and that their apparent absence and abandonment of The Amazons in their time of need was what spurred Diana to abandon her position as champion of the Olympian Gods and start seeking favors from a South Seas deity. And I can swing with that.

Explain to me then why the Olympian Gods are now returning home after having apparently been cruising around deep space - IN A FREAKING SPACESHIP - and are curious as to why their home is trashed and they can't seem to remember who they are/were? And apparently Athena is now about to die since she used the last of her power to make the last of their champions (I assume that's Diana) immortal again.

I suspect all will be explained shortly but I'm still very confused.

Not-So-Fast Thoughts - Comic Reviews for 10/29/08 and 11/05/08

Between things going on Halloween and this past weekend - which was, amazingly enough NOT spent at Wizard World Texas - it was a while before I picked up my comics, much less read them.



FINAL CRISIS: RAGE OF THE RED LANTERNS- More of a Green Lantern tie-in than a Final Crisis one on the surface, this continues the events of The Sinestro Corps War. And not only do we get to see a mess of Red Lanterns, we also get a look at what appears to be The Controllers getting ready to establish the Orange Lanterns and the very first Blue Lantern. So... yeah. Not a good jump-in issue but a continuation of the greatness that we've come to expect from Geoff Johns.


FINAL CRISIS: RESIST - I should have known better than to buy a Greg Rucka book sight unseen... but I thought this was going to tie-in to the much more enjoyable Final Crisis: Submit. It's not that it's all that bad, really, but a bit of a tough plow for those of us who don't read Checkmate and are wondering when Snapper Carr became a teleporting secret agent. Still, for those Kirby fans who were afraid that Final Crisis would not feature EVERY crazy idea The King had while working at DC Comics, have no fear... by the end of the story, Mr. Terrific is leading an army of OMACs against the New Gods.


GIANT SIZE RED SONJA #2 - Lots of good, short stories here to enjoy. A character-defining quickie where Sonja is separated from the more traditional literary amazons by being paired up with a true man-hating psychopath... an illustrated version of Frank Thorne's famous "Red Sonja Stage Show" drawn by the man himself... and a classic "Red Sonja vs. Undead Wizard" story by Roy Thomas himself. The only one that falls flat is a very strange and very creepy story involving an angel falling to Earth, falling in love with Sonja and then screaming as he is dragged back up into the Heavens as he begs Sonja to come with him. Overall, a fine issue.


GRANT MORRISON'S DOCTOR WHO #2- A darn good read, even if this IS a Sixth Doctor story and the ending is in no way possibly in cannon. Second Doctor fans will want to check this out for the heroic end of Jamie. Grant Morrison fans will want to check it out because... well, it's a good read and rather easy to follow even with the inclusion of a shape-shifting penguin.


HELLBLAZER PRESENTS CHAS: THE KNOWLEDGE - Last issue of this mini-series came out this week. I finally got the rest of it shortly before this. And I really wish I hadn't have bothered. Don't get me wrong - Chas is a great supporting character. But even with a story centering around the Cabbies of London sitting on top of a secret that keeps a demon imprisoned in the roads of London and John completely out of the picture, save for the scenes showing just WHY he is out of the picture... Chas just doesn't hold the interest very well.

And the scenes at the end of this issue, where he extols the virtues of a simple life, ring somewhat true... the whole thing seems a bit tilted given that Chas is made out to be some sort of virtuous paragon because he refuses to cheat on his shrewish wife... even though All His Engines - a story which no less an expert than Neil Gaiman considers to be the quintessential Hellblazer story - showed Chas cheating on her easily and almost running off to America with the woman involved. Of course I'm picking nits, but that's rather a big one to pick given the popularity of the story and how relatively recent it is.


JACK OF FABLES #27 - You have to love any book where the living spirit of the Deus Ex Machina shows up to save the day and everyone is pissed off that he won't do more, because it would kill the story.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #26 - While the idea of an alternate-reality Justice League fighting to restore a reality that might erase them from time has been done before (Indeed, Dwayne McDuffie wrote The Once and Future Thing episode of Justice League Unlimited), this issue is a good one. Comic History Fans might get a chuckle out of "The Brown Bomber" - a character who seems to have been created as a parody of DC Comics' original idea of an African-American superhero before Tony Isabella slapped some sense into The Powers That Be and convinced them that a redneck who transformed into a super-powered Black man was a BAD IDEA. I'm a little confused as to where this leaves Animal Man (are his powers coming from Anansi now too?) but still... good read.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #144- The comics are good as always. The new movie column is an abomination. Seriously. Instead of the brilliant comedy and sarcastic kvetching of Noah Antwiler, we are - thanks to the whining of a few people who shouldn't be allowed to handle sharp objects - now being treated to a column that gives us gamers advice on how to "game" various geek movies for material for their role-playing games.

Because apparently there are a lot of game masters out there who have no idea rip off movies and TV Shows for game fodder who have been demanding such hot tips as "You could easily recycle some of the gangs from the movie, such as the Disco Boys, the Red Eyes or the Susies" for their comedic superhero games.

I'd protest but Jolly Blackburn and company have made it clear that they'll only listen to the hyperbolic exclamations of everyone who is willing to devote time to trolling their message boards claiming to have stopped reading the magazine rather than the people who actually buy the magazine. And I have no desire to demean myself by saying that I will no longer buy the magazine, am burning all my back issues and that I will not rest until Jim Davenport is living in a cardboard box under the freeway.


KULL #1- A new Kull the King mini-series. Soon to become a regular series? We can but hope, because this first issue - as Conan #0 did several years ago - perfectly defines Kull as a character while separating him from Robert Howard's other famous hero. Whereas Conan is a definitive man-of-action who has no problem with splitting hairs or skulls as needed, Kull is an educated warrior, trying to raise himself above his barbaric past. A must read for all fantasy fans.


RED SONJA #38 - My patience is starting to run thin with this "bold new direction", even if I am intrigued as to how they are going to end this and if/when they will return to the status quo.


SECRET SIX #3 - I'm not sure what I find more disturbing: on-the-wagon, paternally protective Bane or just-plain Ragdoll. I really wish they had found someone other than the "dear gods why has nobody killed her yet" Devin Grayson creation Tarantula to be the centerpiece of this story... but given the average mortality rate of the guest stars in this series, I figure it's only a matter of time...


SHEENA, QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE: DARK RISING #1 - The good news is that - apart from one fan-service shot while she's doing a back-flip in the middle of an action scene (unlike most rich American heiresses, Sheena DOES wear proper undergarments) - there isn't any gratuitous cheesecake artwork in THIS Jungle Girl book. The bad news is that the interior art isn't all that good. The story is as good as previous Sheen installments though, but one wishes they would find a good, steady artist and try and keep this book coming out monthly.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 04/23/08

This week: truly fast reviews limited to two sentences each.



BIRDS OF PREY #117 - It's official: DARK VENGEANCE! is the new LEROY JENKINS! And if you don't love Misfit after this issue, I don't know what's wrong with you.


FABLES #72 - One reason they forgot to mention that Cinderella is the greatest secret agent of all-time; nobody had any idea she was a secret agent until recently and even when they found out they refused to believe it. This continues to be the best book on the market, bar none.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #20 - This is what I was expecting when I first heard Dwayne McDuffie was taking over this book - simple, old school tales of superheroics. As it is, this is the best story done with The Flash in recent memory.


SHEENA: TRAIL OF THE MAPINGUARI - Great one-shot, which, in a weird way, manages to set up the concept of the new Sheena character better than the five issues of the monthly series did. If it weren't for the gratuitous thong shots toward the end (which are doubly confusing as we see Sheena has a more full costume bottom before then) this would be a perfect 10.

Fast Thoughts For 03/26/08

GREEN LANTERN #29 - I can already tell that this is going to be the origin story that Emerald Dawn should have been.

Formalizing what has already been hinted at or discussed in flashback in a number of his Green Lantern stories to date, Secret Origin is Geoff John's reimagining of the Hal Jordan mythos. Fleshing Hal out beyond the fearless he-man of the Silver Age, Johns' Hal isn't quite fearless but he is courageous, reckless and could easily out-Maverick Tom Cruise any day of the week. He also formalizes some points that have been implied by other writers (i.e. John Stewart's Marine background - first presented in the Justice League cartoon - is now gospel background for the New Earth John Stewart) but never outright confirmed before.

If you haven't been reading Green Lantern but are aching to start in the wake of the buzz about how great The Sinestro Corps Wars was, this is a good place to start. Not just because it shows the literal beginning of the Green Lanterns' presence among Earthlings but because the last few pages appear to tie-in to the next big Green Lantern saga.


HELLBLAZER #242 - Another place-keeping issue as we see John's two greatest enemies in Diggle's run so far form an alliance after indulging in some torture. There's precious little of John this time around, but I suspect that Diggle is, as per usual, building to something bigger and special. The tone is also, as I've said before, very close to that of the Delano Run. Indeed, we get another reference to a classic Delano story as we get a reference to John's long lost twin and the parallel reality where he, not John, lived.


JACK OF FABLES #21 -For once, I agree with Jack's surly comments about how an issue without him isn't worth reading. Well, I take that back. It's not that this issue isn't worth reading - I just don't find this one as amusing as previous issues. Maybe it's because I'm too much of a theater geek to find much humor in a "comedy" where one of the actors refuses to learn his lines or his relations to the other characters, an actress has to be coerced into seducing an actor (and then some) in order to get his cooperation and an actor/director gone mad with power. Still, I'll be back next month if only for the promise of Jack fresh off his conquest of the Page Sisters. :)


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #137 - It's been a while since I've laughed out loud, or laughed long at an issue of this comic. But this time, I did.

I won't spoil the gag or even attempt to describe it. Suffice it to say that while Jolly Blackburn may decry his skills as an artist, he perfectly nailed the "Wile E. Coyote" look in B.A.'s eyes as he watched the metaphorical piano drop.


SHEENA #5 - Delayed for a few months, presumably so this final chapter of what was meant to be a five-part mini-series could be rewritten to allow for a hopefully long-lasting continuing series, this issue did prove worth waiting for.

And why shouldn't it? If there's some manner of afterlife for the good and just, then Will Eisner is smiling right now. Because Robert Rodi and Matt Merhoff have taken Eisner's creation - the first heroine to have her own solo comic title - and made Sheena their own baby as well as the best book among a host of pitiful imitators.

Rodi has routinely proven capable of doing something that nobody else on the market seems capable of doing - writing a "queen of the jungle" heroine who is smart, confident and easily capable of holding her own in a fight and surviving in the wilds. And unlike a certain "Cho-sen" one, who tried to corner the market on jungle girl comics (the title says it all - girls, not women), with cheesecake poses and gratuitous thong shots, Monsieur Merhoff - along with a bevy of amazing cover artists - has depicted Sheena as a heroine who is beautiful, powerful and as sensibly dressed as you can be in a leopard-skin unitard.

The first TP should be available soon and a one-shot, Trail of the Mapinguari, is on the way along with a HC collection of Eisner's Sheena work. So if you missed this comic the first time, don't worry. The Real Queen of the Jungle is here and I don't think she'll be leaving anytime soon.

Looking To The Stars: The Sixth Annual Starry Awards

The Golden Globes. Mr. Blackwell’s Best & Worst Dressed List. And now (once again), it is time for The Starry Awards. Because it’s just not the start of a new year, without us yammering about the best and worst of last year.

In any case, welcome to what has become a yearly staple of the Comics Nexus: The Starry Awards for Excellence and Disgrace in Comics Writing.

Of course, it has been pointed out that the comic industry already has the Eisners, the Harveys, the Eagles and the Wizard Awards. Why on Earth 2 then, these alleged people ask, do we need another damned award?

Well, none of those other awards are decided by me, are they?

The Starry Awards were started so that I, the ever humble author of this column, might dispense awards to those I felt were most worthy of praise or damnation based on their works in the past year.

The Starries name ten stories in total. Stories, for the purpose of this award, can be single or multiple issues of one book or multiple books relating to one plot-line. The Starries are based solely upon the personal opinions of Matt “Starman” Morrison and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone else.

Five Staries are awarded to stories which, more than any other stories this year, made me stand up and cheer, burst into tears or just stopped me in the middle of reading to say “This is damn good stuff.” Five Staries are awarded (if you can call it that) to stories that, for some reason, I found disappointing. Stories that left me feeling that a mark had been missed and missed badly. Some of them are stories that, in fact, I think are just plain terrible.


That said: Here are the winners and losers!

The Best of 2007

Best Moment All Year - The Unveiling of The Sinestro Corps Heralds and Guardian (from Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special)

Most crossovers attempt "big reveal" moments like this but few are able to carry them off. Not only did The Sinestro Corps special manage to pull off one hell of a reveal - they managed to do so in a genuinely surprising manner that nobody saw coming. This is no mean feat in these days when what few stories are not spoiled by fans on the message boards are spoiled by their own writers and editors.

Of course we knew quite a bit by the time this issue had come out. We knew that Sinestro was alive and well and hiding out in the Anti-Matter Universe. We knew that yellow rings, similar to the ones used by the Green Lanterns, were flying around the universe seeking out those who were capable of inspiring great fear.

By the time the issue was over, we knew that Sinestro had enslaved the people of the planet Qward in the Anti-Matter Universe and forced them to construct rings that drew off the wearer's ability to terrorize others rather than stealing energy from Green Lanterns and turning it into yellow light, as the former Qwardian rings had. We knew that Sinestro had assembled a team of, to quote the great Harvey Korman, "rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs...ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists," to use said rings. And in a daring surprise raid, this new Sinestro Corps was able to attack the Green Lantern's base of operations, arrange a mass jail-break of the most dangerous beings in the univese and capture Kyle Rayner - at that time believed to be the most powerful of all the Green Lanterns.

It was a good start for an all-out war across the cosmos. But nothing quite prepared readers for the sheer amount of pants-wetting terror that the Sinestro Corps was capable of inspiring quite like the last two pages, in which the power behind the Sinestro Corps was revealed along with their Guardian's choice for their four "heralds".

Now, for those of you who didn't read the story or follow enough DC Comics to know just who all of these figures are and why nearly everyone who read this story said "Well, crap" when they got to the end of it, let me run down this rogues gallery. From top left counterclockwise...

CYBORG SUPERMAN - The brains behind the attack on Coast City (Green Lantern Hal Jordan's hometown) during The Death of Superman saga, Hank Henshaw was a scientist who developed an amazing ability to bond with and control technology following an accident that he blamed Superman for. Left for dead on the edges of space by a revenge-seeking Hal Jordan, he was discovered by The Manhunters - a race of rogue robotic law-enforcement agents with a grudge against the Green Lanterns - and made into their leader. With his own natural powers coupled with his genius for design, he upgraded the Manhunters by giving them the ability to drain the power of a Green Lantern ring at close range. He now commands an army every bit as formidable as The Sinestro Corps itself.

SUPERMAN PRIME - The last survivor of a parallel universe (Universe Prime) where he was the only superhero, this version of Kal-El sacrificed himself and his universe during The Crisis on Infinite Earths, in which one universe was created from the parts of many parallel worlds. It was a sacrifice he came to view as wasted, having been trapped outside of reality but still able to witness the events within that universe. Angered by how the perfect world he gave of himself to create had been corrupted, he went mad and set about trying to fix the universe by killing all of the heroes he saw as being too flawed and imperfect to be truly heroic. A being capable of altering causality by punching the universe, this Superman was defeated only by the combined efforts of two other Supermen and imprisoned by the Green Lantern Corps.

SINESTRO - Once considered the greatest of all Green Lanterns and a frequent mentor to trainee Corps members, Sinestro has long been considered the greatest enemy the Green Lanterns have. Forced into exile in the Anti-Matter Universe following the revelation that he had turned his homeworld into a fascist dictatorship in an effort to maintain order, Sinestro joined forces with the Qwardians (another enemy of the Green Lanterns), who gave him a ring that leeched off the energy of Green Lantern rings and changed it into yellow light - the one color that Green Lantern rings were unable to affect. Sinestro would return again and again, cheating death itself to hound the Green Lanterns. Despite his crimes, Sinestro still considers himself a member of the Corps and believe that all of his actions are justified in that he has caused the Green Lanterns to slowly assume more and more of his own tactics in the interest of keeping him under control. Ultimately, Sinestro just wants it proven that he was right all along in what steps must be made to maintain order.

PARALLAX - A parasitic being born of pure fear, Parallax was imprisoned within the Green Lantern's Central Power Battery by The Guardians of the Universe. Since color and emotion were closely tied together when the universe was young, the Guardians found that Parallax was able - from within his prison, to prevent the rings used by The Guardians from affecting the color of fear; yellow. Hence, the Guardians selected the bravest beings in the universe to form their Green Lantern Corps, in the hopes that Parallax would be unable to influence them. This plan backfired when Parallax began to slowly chip away at the mind of Hal Jordan, who - unused to feeling fear - was unable to recognize the subtlety of Parallax's attacks. Using Jordan's body, Parallax decimated the Green Lantern Corps save for one Earthling; Kyle Rayner. Now, as revenge on the Green Lantern who stopped him from destroying the Corps from within a second time, Parallax has taken possession of Rayner's body, forcing him to watch atrocity after atrocity as Parllax feasts on the fear inspired by The Sinestro Corps.

ANTI-MONITOR - Ruler and protector of the Anti-Matter Universe, this being was responsible for the chain of events that lead to the destruction of multiple parallel universes in Crisis on Infinite Earths. Dead for a number of years, he was apparently resurrected - along with the multiple universes of the DC Comics reality - following the events of Infinite Crisis. Now, returned to his former station, the Anti-Monitor has lent his support to the Sinestro Corps while secretly manipulating them towards hit ultimate goal of destroying all the positive-matter universes so that he may be supreme ruler of all that is.

Any one of these enemies would be a worthy A-Level threat on their own. Pool their powers and resources together and give them a ring, powered by fear, that allows them to do whatever they want and you had a force of evil that put the epic in "space epic" and made this the best comic book all year.


Funniest Read All Year - Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Special

Take Marvel's most infamous 'Merc With A Mouth. Add Marvel Comics' Mightiest Team of Misfit Mutants (Sorry X-Men - these guys have the Angel of Death AND a guy who dies and comes back even more than Jean Grey). Mix them together into a number of short stories in which we find out that Deadpool has a fat fetish, Origami is one of the most deadly Japanese martial arts (and crafts) and that AIM is using a wayward god to make every superhero in the world drunk (Dionysus didn't just fall off the wagon - he fell off Olympus). Throw in better continuity and editing than has been seen at Marvel in a dog's age and some of the most vicious satire Dan Slott has to offer regarding the treatment of Speedball post-Civil War and you have one comic book that is actually comic. Funny funny books? What will they think of next?


Best Team-Up - Harley Quinn & The Riddler (from Detective Comics #837)

While not exactly the most high-profile pairing-off this year, this pairing of two Bat-Villains - both gone legit - was the year's most off-beat and most enjoyable team-up.

A recently reformed Edward Nygma has turned detective for hire. Recruited by Bruce Wayne to find an employee who stole an experimental drug from Wayne Enterprises, Riddler quickly tracks the thief to an Amazon Women's Shelter in Metropolis where it just so happens an equally-reformed Harleen Quinzel is working as Assistant Director.

What follows is a story in which Paul Dini does what he does best - write characters who are sympathetic, if not necessarily heroic. While the focus of the story may be upon a stolen drug and the creation of a new super-villain with ties to the Amazons and Gotham, the interplay between Harley and Eddie is the real treat of the issue. There's just something about the quieter moments where the two reformed-baddies just talk about where they are and how they got there that is so much more compelling than the main plot. Heck, it's even more engaging than the slapstick Dini delights in (Eddie's forceful removal from the Amazon shelter and the untold tale of how Harley left The Secret Six, for instance).


Best Makeover, Revamp or Revival - Sheena, Queen of the Jungle

Originally created by Will Eisner and Jerry Iger in the late 1930s and inspiration to a host of soulless, pathetic imitators, the original Queen of the Jungle and first female superheroine to sport her own monthly book returned in style this year.

Neatly updated for modern times in a story by Die Hard scribe Stephen E. De Souza, the only real change is a change in setting from the Congo to the Amazon. Whereas Sheena once fought hostile poachers and smugglers, she must now contend with corrupt business tycoons and loggers despoiling her rainforest. But while the setting may have changed, Sheena hasn't. She is just as fierce and cunning as ever. And unlike her imitators, Sheena manages to look sexy AND formidable, without any of her issues descending into the cheap cheesecake that some artists seem to revel in. Be you an old-timer who still remembers the TV-show with Irish McCalla, a young buck confused as to why that cheesy Gena Lee Nolin show is just now getting a comic or - dare I say - a parent with a pre-teen daughter looking for a suitable superheroic role-model, you'll find a lot to like in Sheena.


Best Retro Tale - Green Arrow: Year One

Regular readers of this feature know that Green Arrow has always held a special place in my heart and that I have been rather outspoken about how horribly he has been portrayed in recent years. But as harsh a critic as I am, my complaints about this series were few and far between. Written by long-time Vertigo Comics scribe Andy Diggle with art by Jock - his partner on the much-beloved The Losers series - this series detailing the origins of DC Comics Battling Bowman showed a depth and maturity that has been sorely lacking in recent treatments of the character.

I shall avoid going into a lengthy description of what Diggle and Jock did right. Doing so would also require me to go into a lengthy discussion where I would compare and contrast what other writers did wrong. So instead of doing that, I will merely advise you all to pre-order the upcoming hardcover collection and assure you that you won't regret it.

The Worst of 2006

Most Likely To Cause Continuity Robots Heads To Explode Award -Every Comic Related To The Green Arrow/Black Canary Wedding And Its' Aftermath

I normally limit this award to one single comic or mini-series. But in this case, I'm making an exception because it is unfair for me to single out one single book for an editorial snafu this big.

It doesn't help matters that one of the writers involved in telling this story freely admitted that they didn't intend to explain the hows or whys of how Oliver Queen got kidnapped and replaced with an evil shapeshifter (Confusingly enough, this WAS later explained in Green Arrow/Black Canary #3), who was later killed by Dinah Lance during an attempt on her life.

But what truly makes this continuity clash confusing is that while the end result of The GA/BC Wedding (i.e. Green Arrow's apparent death at Black Canary's hands) had been telegraphed across the Internet for months before the actual comics came out, nobody ever saw fit to tell the writer or editorial team responsible of Justice League about the events of the wedding itself, despite the Wedding being sandwiched by both The JLA Wedding Special and Dwayne McDuffie's opening arc on Justice League of America.

How else can you explain a writer and former editor of McDuffie's caliber letting a detail like this slip except through the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing?

Yes, Dinah. Tell him the long story about how you... KILLED YOUR HUSBAND?!

Seriously, editorial incompetence is the only way to explain such a serious gaff. This, and the many other questions that came up during Justice League of American and Countdown issues that tied into the wedding itself.


The “What The Hell Just Happened?” Award (Most Confusing Story) -Red Sonja: Doom of the Gods

What would have been a one-issue story thirty years ago at Marvel was padded out into a four-issue mini-series by Dynamite Comics.

Honestly, I don't think the artists had any idea what was supposed to be going on. Take this cover from Issue #4. Not only is Sonja uncharacteristically frightened-looking and bound (not a usual state for her in her comics, I'm happy to note)... but this scene does not occur anywhere in the series!

How to sum what does happen in this series? Well...Basically, bad guy Thulsa Doom is doing something to become powerful Some bard needs Sonja's help to stop him, but he has to drive her crazy to do it. And then he decides this is a stupid idea, restores her senses, she kills Thulsa Doom even though he's supposedly a god or just killed a god or something. And the whole thing ends with him being reborn as a flaming skull. I think.


The “I Waited For This?!?!” Award (Most Delayed/Most Disappointing Book) - All-Star Batman and Robin

Honestly, I can't really say I was all that surprised or disappointed in this series this year. But, unlike last year, we actually got a few issues to read what is either Frank Miller achieving the most wicked self-parody in history or the continued degeneration of a one-time master of the genre.


Worst Makeover, Revamp or Revival -Spider-Man

Why Spider-Man? Why do you think?

I'll give you a hint; it's not for the ultimately pointless (though hyped-to death) return of the Black Costume.

Read on for the real reason, True Believers!


Worst Story Of the Year -Spider-Man: One More Day

You'd think J. Michael Straczynski asking to have his name taken off the story would have been a clue.

You'd think an 2/3rds majority "No" vote on the "Should the Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson Marriage be ended?" poll on Newsarama would also have been a clue.

You'd think an negative fan-response, so extreme that Marvel had to issue an all-out ban on criticism of editorial decisions on their own message boards might also have been a clue.

But no. Joe Quesada has a teflon brain. No clue will stick! And I truly believe that he won't get the hint that breaking up Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson's marriage - much less doing it through the cheesy, magical deus ex machina he employs - was a bad idea until about two minutes after Marvel's Board of Directors is done kicking him to the curb and stapling a pink-slip to his forehead.

You have to admire his showmanship, though. In an act of hucksterism so blatant as to shame Stan Lee, Joe Q suggested that fans who are upset about the end of the Spider-Marriage might want to, instead of boycotting Marvel Comics, consider reading other titles where the Peter/Mary Jane romance is still going strong in order to show their support.

"Like Spider-Girl. Or uh... Mary Jane Loves Spider-... oh, wait... wait... we canceled that one. But there's still... ah... oh... LOOK BEHIND YOU! A THREE-HEADED MONKEY!"

Many fans are swearing off Marvel Comics in droves. And I'm sad to say that I'm one of them. I'll miss Ed Brubaker's Daredevil and JMS' Thor. And I'm really going to regret not getting a chance to see Dan Slott writing Spider-Man on a regular basis. But in the end, I have to follow my heart. And my heart says that there is no way I am giving Marvel Comics another dime or any free publicity until this mess is straightened out one-way or the other.

Fast Thoughts For 01/09/07

This week's fast thoughts brought to you by my girlfriend, Sierra. For without the comics I buy her, this would have been my second week without buying a single new comic.



RED SONJA: DOOM OF THE GODS #4 (OF 4) - Were it not for the T&A nonsense-fest that was Frank Cho's Red Sonja: Queen of the Frozen Wastes, I think this might well rank as the worst story done with Red Sonja since the revival of her monthly comic.

Robert Howard Purists and fans of the original Marvel Conan series are advised to stay well away from this one... for not only does this film do a half-assed job of trying to set itself into Howard's world (i.e. Sonja's companion is a black-skinned Nemedian bard when Nemedia is one of the light-skinned Hyborean races) while referring to the continuity of the Conan movies (i.e. the version of Thulsa Doom we see here is the same one played by James Earl Jones) while blatantly ignoring the continuity of said world (i.e. Thulsa Doom is a villain from the days of King Kull, who came about several thousand years BEFORE the time of Conan and Sonja) and trying to set itself up as being a foreshadowing of the role Doom would eventually play in the Conancomics as a lich (i.e his immortal head becoming a flaming skull).

It's the continuity of three different versions of the Conan Mythos (four if you don't consider any story with Red Sonja to be true Conan as some purists do), mixed and mashed together into a most unhealthy shake. Avoid like the plague.


SHEENA #4 - The prayers of all thinking comic-fans and people of good taste have been answered. Sheena is to become a monthly series and after a brief delays (no doubt caused by the sudden reshuffling of the final issues to allow for a continuation), the world's first monthly-published superheroine is back.

You want proof that it is possible to do a comic about a strong, smart, independent and sexily clad but not scantily clad heroine that can succeed without pandering to the lowest common denominator ala Jungle Girl and Shanna? Look no further than this issue, in which a wounded Sheena - with nothing more than the resources of the jungle and a whole lot of cunning, takes down the small mercenary army that is hunting her.

Do not miss the final two pages and what may well be the funniest moment in comics in forever.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 9/19/07

Short and sweet, this week. No more than two sentences and a picture for each review.



BIRDS OF PREY #110: A decent filler issue with decent art. Always nice to see Helena get a chance to shine.
GRADE: B


COUNTDOWN #32: Despite all the issues I have with Diana objecting to teenage drinking, the effects (or lack thereof) of alcohol on Kryptonian physiology and the fact that this issue contradicts every single thing we've seen regarding Black Canary's bachelorette party, I'm willing to forgive it because Tony Bedard remembered to include Dinah's close friends from Birds of Prey in the extensive party scenes. Also, every scene with Supergirl and Wonder Girl trying and failing to sneak drinks is adorable.
GRADE: C


EX MACHINA #30: I just now managed to catch up on the back issues for this book. What was I thinking considering paying rent more important than this?
GRADE: A


GREEN ARROW/BLACK CANARY WEDDING SPECIAL #1: Rest in peace, noble archer. He can't hurt you anymore where you are now.
GRADE: D and that's only because Amanda Conner does good work.


HELLBLAZER #236: Hellblazer hasn't been this good since... well, at least since Mike Carey left the book. But I think if anyone can equal him, it's Andy Diggle.
GRADE: A


JUNGLE GIRL #0: Remember the days when 25 cents got you a comic with less advertisements than art pages? Neither do I, but I'm sure they had to have been better than this.
GRADE: F


JUNGLE GIRL #1: I thought it was impossible to make a book even more vapid and offensive than Frank Cho's Shanna The She-Devil. I'm sad to say I was wrong.
GRADE: F


SHEENA #3: The first, and even with two other jungle-girl books cluttering the shelves, still the best. Accept no substitutes!
GRADE: A


SPIDER-MAN RED SONJA #2: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the definitive Peter Parker quote.

GRADE:A


TALES OF THE SINESTRO CORPS PARALLAX #1: Kyle Rayner's personality is dead-on in this issue but why is he buff like Conan in the last few pages? Observe and note that only the dialogue baloon has been changed in the scan below.

GRADE: B

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 7/25/07

In the interest of keeping things really, really fast - only one sentence to describe each book this week. :)



ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #6: - Even in a parallel world where she's a stereotypical Irish Immigrant, Black Canary is still written as an incompetent bimbo.


AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #542: Easily the best Peter Parker story in years.


BATMAN #666: It's the God-damned Batman!


GREEN ARROW YEAR ONE #2: This is without a doubt the best presentation of Oliver Queen in a graphic novel since the days of Mike Grell.


GREEN LANTERN CORPS #14: I have no idea what I'm looking at on the last page but I'm sure it isn't good.


HELLBLAZER #234: The magnificent bastard rides again under Andy Diggle's skillful pen.


RED SONJA #24: Finally, the random plot threads come together.


SHEENA #2: At once a classic action story worthy of Will Eisner himself and a skillful modern reconstruction of a classic comic-heroine archtype, Sheena may spawn many nameless imitators but there is no substitute for the original Queen of the Jungle.


TEEN TITANS #49: Nice to see Superman finally remembered he's faster than a speeding bullet after letting all those amazons get mowed down in Amazons Attack #4.

Looking To The Stars - A Fortnight's Worth of Comic Reviews

AMAZONS ATTACK #3 (OF 6)
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Will Pfeifer
Artist: Pete Woods

TEEN TITANS #48
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Adam Beechen
Artist: Al Barrionuevo and Bit

WONDER WOMAN #10
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Jodi Picoult
Artist: Paco Diaz

I'm including all these issues together since they do, at some point, tell the same basic story from different angles and it is really more fair to judge all of them together.

So what happens? Well, in Wonder Woman, Diana kvetches about how yummy Nemesis is in the middle of a war zone while fighting her own mother while the JLA stand around and do sod all. In Amazons Attack, the unnamed American President declares war on the Amazons - by sending the National Guard out to arrest the inhabitants of every Amazon-inspired women's shelters and putting said in habitants in concentration camps. And in Teen Titans, Supergirl and Wonder Girl - who rather take exception to innocent women being locked up (including Wonder Girl's mother) - attack one of said concentration camps while the rest of the Titans try to stop them, only to get arrested by the Army for assocating with known Amazons.

Now, there's been a lot of bad characterization marring this crossover from Day One. But it wasn't until these issues that things got downright stupid.

* With Amazons attacking both Washington DC and Los Angeles as well as proving they have the ability to hit Kansas (they set a part of the wheat belt, including Smallville, on fire) shouldn't the first order of business be to mobilize and fully organize the military?
* Is it really productive, in a losing war, which is basically being fought because a nation that thinks your nation doesn't respect women, to start imprisoning without trial a group of women whose only crime is running a shelter for abused women based on the ideas of female empowerment?
* Is even the most pig-headed of military police officers going to arrest a group of superheroes for "associting with Amazons" when said heroes were, two minutes earlier, engaged in trying to stop said Amazons from attacking said military police and destroying a concentration camp?

This is not to say that the series has not been entirely without merit. There are some good character moments as well in Teen Titans and Amazons Attack.

* I like how Kara and Cassie are not, as the covers suggest, mindlessly following along with their Amazon friends but how they have a more personal stake in what they are doing. Cassie is trying to save her mother and Kara is helping her best friend.
* I like the irony in the two most inheritly war-like teenage female heroes in the DCU being the ones pleading to give peace a chance.
* I also like the irony of Supergirl trying to down Air Force One.
* I like how Green Arrow is already on the case when Batman calls him to warn him there's a bomb at a nuclear power plant near his city.
* I really like Ollie being presented as knowing enough about weapons to confirm, upon finding the bomb that "this is too high tech for Amazons." Seeing Ollie portayed as being competent is such a rare treat these days...
* On the above note re: Amazon Tech - granting that the Amazons are being presented as being stuck in the Bronze Age, this had always been depicted (especially during the lead-up to Infinite Crisis) as being more by choice than anything and that they were more than capable of making big modern weapons. I mean, didn't this whole war start because Diana was locked up for refusing to tell the Pentagon how to make a Purple Death Ray?




But one thing I don't like at all - and judging by the other blogs and boards I've read I'm far from alone in this - is how Jodi Picoult has totally mischaracterized Wonder Woman.

In my estimation, there is one very simple thing to remember in writing Diana. She does not doubt herself.

She may question her actions after the fact - appraise her tactics and try to improve - but she does not angst. She does not mope. She does not, in fact, go emo and get introspective. At least, not in the middle of a war zone where her people are running amok and killing everything with a third leg.

Under Picoult's pen, Diana went from Amazon Princess to Jewish American Princess. She spent less time being a wonder and more time wondering. She spent less time on the frontlines and more time in the coffee line.

And one final comment for Ms. Picoult, who had this to say about fan criticism of her Wonder Woman run in SFX Magazine.

"You have to keep it in continuity or you will be attacked by the messageboards, which are made up of really scary people who live in their parents' basement. If you mess with any details at all, they're all over you."

Actually, Ms. Picoult, I believe most of the complaints we basement-dwellers had were less about continuity and more about the fact that you depicted Diana, in her secret identity, being unfamilar with how a gas-pump functions, how a credit card works or how to order coffee, despite having lived in Man's World for the better part of a decade.

Now, of course they don't have such things on Paradise Island. And it makes sense that coming into the culture of America Diana would be unfamilar with how these things work.

BUT - and this is a big BUT - even if you ignore the old comics other writers wrote which said that once Diana came to Man's World, she made contact with a female scholar of Ancient Greek Culture who helped Diana get accustomed to Man's World - you still might credit the Amazons with enough intelligence to realize that things may have changed in the 2000+ years.

You might think that, having decided to send an Ambassador to Man's World in order to teach them of the greatness of the Amazon lifestyle, that they might use some of that magic they're sitting on the let Hippolyta view Man's World and declare "Yeah... they're screwing the planet up and we need to help." to further scout out just how much the world had changed so that their ambassador might be fully informed upon the way of life of the people she is going to educate.

And while this would probably not include lessons upon how to order a latee or the wonders of Visa, there would almost certainly be SOME mention of how they have horseless chariots and how it might be a good idea to learn how these things work so as to better relate to those she is trying to teach.

And you might think that after nearly ten years in Man's World, there are some things Diana might have tried to pick up on!

The funny thing is I have a friend - not a comics reader but a fan of Picoult's novels - who asked me about the first issue. I mentioned the gas pump thing and she was confused.

"Wait... if she doesn't know how a gas pump works, how does she refuel the Invisible Jet?"

Now, I know that Diana doesn't really have the Invisible Jet anymore and that it probably ran on magic instead of jet fuel. But that's not the point. The point is that someone who is NOT a comics fan thought of a good, logical reason in the context of what she knew about the character as to why Diana WOULD know how to refuel a mechanical vehicle.

That's not a continuity argument - that's just common sense.

Gail Simone can't take over this book fast enough. And as much as I loathe the idea of Judd Winick returning to write Green Arrow AND Black Canary every month... I think Diana and the Amazons need Gail more right now.

Grade: D for the whole series. D for Amazons Attack. C for Teen Titans. F for Wonder Woman.



BLACK CANARY #1 (OF 4)
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Tony Bedard
Artists: Paulo Sequeira and Amilton Santos

I didn't have high hopes for this one based on the preview and Bedard's early interviews, in which he said that - having been optioned to write a Black Canary: Year One story - he chose instead to write a solo-adventure for her, saying that she didn't need a Year One story.

And then this issue went on to prove, very much, exactly why Dinah DOES need a Year One story.

I wrote last week about how scattered Dinah's treatment has been by various writers in various books recently. One minor part of this I didn't discuss is that nobody can seem to agree on whether or not Dinah was a JLA founder in the reality of New Earth. This story says no. Another book says no. And yet Dinah was seen fighting the aliens whose attacks led to the foundation of the JLA alongside Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman...

Bedard brings up another confusing point here by reintroducing Craig Windrow - an ex-husband who, Canary fan that I am, I had never even heard of until this issue. Indeed, Craig is so obscure of a character that even Dinah's biography on the best damn Black Canary page there is, Canary Noir, doesn't even mention the guy past a name. Anybody know what issue it was revealed Dinah was married for 9 months to this guy at the age of 18?

But it's really not fair for me to grouse about what I wish this issue had been when what it is isn't bad at all. While the opening Flashback that was previewed months ago had me worried, it turned around with the first page where Bedard does something a lot of writers can't - he actually showed, for a second, the good man that Ollie is underneath all the bluster, shouting and showmanship and why Dinah loves the brute. And the scene with Sin decimating a playground is cute.

Still, I can't help but wonder about Dinah being put into the token girlfriend post, albeit indirectly here. The baddie of the piece, Merlyn, is only interested in Dinah because of her connection to Green Arrow and not because Dinah is now guarding the girl who was meant to become the next Lady Shiva - which is something you'd expect the League of Assassins (of which Merlyn is part) to be interested in.

The long and the short of it is: Dinah - and by extension her adopted sister - are only of interest in relation to Green Arrow. Which is a REAL bad way to start off a series that is already beset by worries of Dinah being reduced to sidekick status. Granting that Dinah doesn't exactly have a big, personal Rogues Gallery... there had to be a better way.

Still, the characterization isn't too bad. Let's wait and see where this takes us.

Grade: C



BRAVE AND THE BOLD #4
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Mark Waid
Artists: George Perez and Bob Wiacek

It's running a month late but oh ye gods was it worth it!

This book is pure undiluted awesome. The perfect balance between form and function, art and writing, stuffing and potatoes. It is all that, the bag of chips and the toy prize.

But I do go on.

Seriously, though - if you want to introduce someone to the pure coolness that can be the DC Comics Universe, this is a good book to start with. They may not know thing one about Supergirl or Lobo but this issue will tell them everything they need to know by issue's end.

Of course while this issue is part of a larger story, it's no less accessible because of it. I imagine this will read quite well in the upcoming Hardcover collection which I have already ordered for my library.

If you aren't reading this book already, you need to be.

Grade: A



COUNTDOWN 44 & 43
Company Name: DC Comics
Writers: Adam Beechen, Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray
Artists: Carlos Magno and David Lopez

I remain one issue away from dropping this book.

The Rogues story is the only thing that keeps me here and even now that's a pretty thin handhold. About the only thing keeping me here is the fact that Piper and Trickster had nothing to do with Bart Allen's death directly and that it looks like the criminal faternity is about to bust them both in a big way.

It's not that the book is badly written. For the most part it is high quality writing. I just have little interest in watching Mary Marvel go evil, Jimmy Olsen trying to understand why he is going through an erratic series of superpowers or watching Holly "Catwoman Junior" Robinson camp out in an Amazon Women's Shelter/Day Spa.

Still, the funeral moments in the most recent issue are true to form. And the tape of Bart filming himself to talk about death rings truer than any characterization Bart has had since before Infinite Crisis. Still, a part of me wonders why nobody seems to act when two costumed villains show up in front of a superhero funeral chasing after two men...

Grade: C



DAREDEVIL #98
Company Name: Marvel Comics
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artists: Michael Lark and Stefano Gaudiano

A bit of a step-down from last month, but that's a bit like moving down from the peak of the Empire State Building and going down one step on the last staircase. Still, it is nice to have it confirmed that there's something going on with Melvin Potter apart from a total nervous breakdown and that Melvin isn't so far gone that he won't allow a lady in her underwear to cover-up in a bathrobe before tossing her off a rooftop.

In all seriousness, Brubaker and Lark are the perfect team for this book. This is the best monthly book Marvel puts out. At least, for this moment. Fantastic Four and Thor may overtake it given time... but for now, it is bar none the best book Marvel is putting out right now and one of the best put out by any company.

I hope the Eisners this year will reflect this.

Grade: B



DETECTIVE COMICS #833 & 834
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Don Kramer and Wayne Faucher

The definition of a true artist.

Someone who writes something that is basically fan-wank fan-fiction and you know it is fan-wank fan-fiction and yet it is good in spite of and because of this fact.

It's no secret that Paul Dini has a major crush on Zatanna. Big enough that he's actually married a stage magician who bears an uncanny resemblence to the Big Zee herself and big enough that he sneaks her into any story he can. So here we have a story involving evil stage magicians, Batman having to turn to Zatana for help and bad things happening as The Joker becomes involved.

Sounds like a recipe for bad Mary-Sue fan-fic, doesn't it?

And yet, it isn't. But it is. This is very much Paul Dini showcasing why Zatanna is a cool character. And it doesn't come off as being the writing of a pitiful fanboy writing fantasy stories about his crush.

And why is that? Because while he is indulging himself, Dini sticks strictly to the framework of the DC Universe. So while we do get his fun-loving, wide-smiling take on Zatanna from the Animated Series episodes he penned, we also get the subtext of how Bruce no longer trusts Zatanna due to her part in wiping his mind during Identity Crisis. That is why this book works so well and why Dini continues to be one of the driving forces in modern comics.

Grade: A



FANTASTIC FOUR #547
Company Name: Marvel Comics
Writer: Dwayne McDuffie
Artist: Paul Pelletier and Rick Magyar

Ah, there is so much to like about this issue.

Johnny Storm flirting with Black Panther's amazon bodyguards.

Black Panther's desire not to be disturbed during his "kingly duties", i.e. using the men's room.

Storm's insistance that Ben Grimm prove that her hair is real and not a wig or a weave.

Reed Richards giving Hank Pym the most backhanded complement in history. (I'm paraphrasing but it was basically "I couldn't gain your expertise in biochemistry without several weeks of intensive study.")

And that's before the actual plot involving the Frightful Four trying to kidnap Susan Richards kicks in!

And before anyone panics about this being a throwback to "Suzie the Girl Hostage", worry not. Sue manages to outwit, overpower and hold her own against all of the Frightful Four until the team leader pulls a gadget to take her down.

Take that, Jessica Alba!

This is a good comic for all fans of all inclinations. It's accessible to new readers while leaving plenty for the old fans to feel good about. But most importantly - it's just plain fun, which is something we have all too little of in comics these days.

Grade: B



GREEN LANTERN SINESTRO CORPS SPECIAL #1
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer:
Artist:

This is book of the week.

This is book of the month.

This is book of the year.

This may be the book of the decade.

Why? Simply because of this page.



A quick bit of explanation is in order as to why this above image is so important and so awesome.

The guy in the bottom-left corner is Sinestro. Once the most respected of Green Lanterns, he was the first to be kicked out of the organization after being found guilty of protecting his sector of space by instilling order through fear and repression. Sinestro was banished to the Anti-Matter universe and met up with a group of aliens, The Qwardians, who gave him a yellow ring that allowed him to hurt the relatively invulnerable Green Lanterns.

Most of this issue details how Sinestro has formed a Corps of his the most ruthless, sadistic and fear-inspiring bastiches in the universe in order to take on The Green Lanterns using yellow rings like his own, powered by pure fear.

The man in the lower-right corner is Kyle Rayner. Chosen by the last of the Guardians to safeguard the last Green Lantern ring, Kyle eventually brought about the resurrection of the Green Lantern Corps and the Guardians. They rewarded him by giving him the title of "Torchbearer" and decided to make Kyle the first in a new line of Green Lanterns - one who would have the power of willpower made manifest infused into his very self instead of through a ring and lantern.

By the end of the issue, it is revealed that Kyle was actually chosen to be a host to Ion - a being made up of pure willpower who does indeed grant great power to it's host... but only so long as it has a host. Kyle is then tossed to Parallax, a similar being who is the very essence of Fear Itself. Now possessed by Parallax, Kyle has allied himself with The Sinestro Corps.

The bloke in the upper-left is Hank Henshaw aka The Cyborg Superman. Posessing the power to control machinery and robotics, he was responsible for - during The Death of Superman destroying Coast City, hometown of Green Lantern Hal Jordan. Since that time, he has gone on to use his powers to take control of The Manhunters - a group of robots created by the same Guardians who created The Green Lanterns to police the universe before it was decided that killer robots were unreliable.

That red guy on the left under Henshaw? That's a Manhunter. They're pretty bad ass on their own but they've become even worse since Henshaw gave them the ability to siphon the energy right out of a Green Lantern ring. (This occured in the Green Lantern monthly comic, BTW)

The kid in the middle? That's Superboy Prime. The only survivor of another universe that was destroyed, he went a wee bit crazy and wound up nearly destroying our universe during Infinite Crisis. The Green Lanterns were put in charge of imprisoning him and the Sinestro Corps busted him out. He has all the powers of Superman but Kryponite from our universe doesn't hurt him. Both he and Henshaw were being held prisoner by The Guardians before the Sinestro Corps busted them out. Naturally they both have a grudge.

So here you have a man who was once the greatest of Green Lanterns and one of the most intelligent generals in the Universe, a man who had the mental fortitude to wield the power of a god and not loose himself to it, a master of robotics who dominated an entire species of evil robots and a teenage boy who can punch holes in reality.

And they all now either have rings that allow them to do whatever they can think of or are posessed by a being who gives them that same power.

Now THAT is a group of super-villains!

You all remember super-villains, right? They're the guys superheroes used to fight in big crossovers before they fought each other over laws regarding power registration or whether or not you should commit suicide to save a friend's life.

But it's not over yet. Not only do we have a formidable group of baddies leading an army of darkness the likes of which the universe has never seen... do you see that big guy in the back? The giant who says "As am I."?

That's The Anti-Monitor. AKA The Ruler of the Anti-Matter Universe. AKA Guardian of the Sinestro Corps. AKA The big baddie from Crisis of Infinite Earths who is supposed to be dead.

He's back.

And commanding the army of darkness being lead by the aforementioned four heralds, any one of whom would be an Omega Level threat for the Green Lantern Corps any day of the week.

Oh, this is going to be GOOD! :)

Grade: A



RED SONJA #23
Company Name: Dynamite Entertainment
Writer: Michael Avon Oeming
Artist: Homs

You know, I KNOW I'm supposed to be sad that Sonja's companion sacrifices himself and uses his last bit of magic to save her life.

I know I'm supposed to feel bad that all of Sonja's companions are dead and she alone is left to face the evil that is even now corrupting her world.

But really? I'm glad that we're getting back to what I always felt Red Sonja was about - one woman against the world, who doesn't need anyone guarding her back. She make take companions on for a time or join a party - but for the most part, Sonja is a lone wolf apart from society.

That being said, while I like this issue... I still have no idea what the pirate story has to do with anything. Still, the art is good and Omeing is weaving a strong tale of fantasy here. I look forward to the payoff.

Grade: B



SHEENA #1 (OF 5)
Company Name: Devils Due Publishing
Writer: Robert Rodi
Artist: Matt Merhoff

The first comic-book heroine to hold her own monthly title has returned home.

Yes, Sheena was the first monthly comic title-bearing action-heroine, beating Wonder Woman out by a matter of months. Learn something new every day, eh?

And while we are learning, let us first forget. Forget everything you think you may know about Sheena. Forget everything you think you know about jungle girl comics being nothing but cheesecake. Forget the stupid Gena Lee Nolin series and the even stupider Tanya Roberts movie. And above all, forget the host of imitators that have come before and after this book.

Rodi has neatly updated Sheena for the 21st century, moving the world's most famous jungle heroine from The Congo to The Amazon. Instead of fighting smuggelers and poachers, this Sheena fights loggers and banana republic dictators. And while this issue is a little exposition heavy and a bit slow in giving us the jungle goddess herself, I think this slow build will only serve to make the action to come all the deeper.

I've read several complaints from other readers and reviewers about this book and how it has too much plot and not enough Sheena. Sadly, by not enough Sheena most of them seem to mean 'not enough forced cheesecake artwork'. Or, in one case, "2 many words! Where are the b00bz?!?!" This wanking rabble will no doubt be pleased by Frank Cho's upcoming sorta-sequel to Shanna, The She Devil.

The rest of us, more sensibly, will be reading Sheena. Accept no substitues!

Grade: A



SUPERGIRL #19
Company Name: DC Comics
Writer: Joe Kelly
Artist: Alé Garze and Marlo Alquiza

It's always painful when a writer has a book taken away from them and they are given an all too brief ammount of time to try and sweep up the mess before closing-up shop. Case in point: the scene on this month's cover does not take place in this book. In fact, Superman doesn't show up until the last two pages.

So what does happen?

Basically, Joe Kelly is given the thankless task, in one issue, of tying up all the loose plot-threads from the last 18 months of Supergirl. Needless to say, he doesn't quite manage it. Because while we do get a lot of nice character moments here with Kara trying to make ammends to everyone she treated badly, there's still a lot of unresolved questions... such as how did Kara hurt Batgirl with a crystal her body generated if the whole "phantoms from the Phantom zone" story arc and everything that followed was just an illusion created by Dark Angel... which is what I THINK happened.

So long, Joe. Know that at least one of us critics will miss you.

Grade: C



THOR #1
Company Name: Marvel Comics
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Artist: Oliver Coipel

I freely admit - I bought this one purely because I figured it was a sure bet to be worth a few bucks on ebay by the end of the week. I hadn't actually planned to read the thing until I noticed that it was written by JMS.

Now, I seem to be one of the few who actually enjoyed his mythological take on Spider-Man. And while the idea he presented was just an idea and not meant to be taken as gospel, it did show that JMS had a deep knowledge of mythology as well as an ability to reimagine old archtypes in a new setting.

With that in mind, it seems to make perfect sense that he be charged with bringing Thor - long asleep since he averted the cycle that made the gods of Asgard endlessly repeat Ragnarok - back to life in a new series.

I suspect I may be picking up issue #2. Honestly, this book is a bit of a slow start and serves mostly to catch-up those who did not read the last Thor series and wonder just why Thor has been absent for so long, why he would feel a need to return to Earth after basically dying and where he is now. But ignoring the slow pacing - which, in a JMS story is usually a sign that something big is building - this is not a bad first issue at all.

Indeed, I dare say that there is a storm on the horizon and I'll defintely be picking up issue #2.

Grade: B

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 3/7/07

Since I have a lot of thoughts on some things that need to be said this week that won't make it to the column - and since I'd like to have something special for my fans on LJ - starting today, my brief thoughts on whatever books I read each week are getting posted here.

There will be some spoilers, so be warned.



52 WEEK #44 - Nice to see why Black Adam went back to being a bad-ass in One Year Later. The Four Horsemen are seriously underwhelming. And I still don't care about "Next Question".


CAPTAIN AMERICA #25 - Am I the only one struck by the irony of a Captain America comic with such a strong anti-authority message featuring a GO ARMY advert on the back? Regardless, this story - which is making headlines in the mainstream non-comic press - is one of the best so far this year. I don't expect the events to actually stick - but even before that moment, this book had me thinking that as much as I hated Civil War, Marvel Comics isn't completely hopeless yet. That's Reason Number One.


DETECTIVE #829 - (sung to the opening line of "Money For Nothing") I want my Paul Dini. And it's still way too early to be doing "terrorist-blowing-up-financial-centers" storylines.


FANTASTIC FOUR #543 - As Ben says, "If you think Cap has given up, you don't know him at all." Between that line and the crowds of people showing up to support Cap at his trial, I think THAT is the real reason Cap allowed himself to be taken into custody. He can't beat Tony and the pro-registration forces by beating them up - but he can damn well make them look bad and put their "New World Order" to the test as we see how they go about throwing the man most consider the greatest hero in the world in a secret prison for trying to help people. All this, Dwayne McDuffie setting up a chance to write the two most prominent Black heroes at Marvel AND a classic Stan Lee story with Mike Allred art. Reason Number Two Marvel Comics is not totally doomed yet.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #6 - Lot of the same flaws as Identity Crisis - way too scattered (what the hell was with the GeoForce scenes?) and as much as I dig the use of Vixen's powers, that was still WAY too Deus Ex Machina - which doesn't seem a fitting phrase for a fight in which a god-like machine is destroyed by a woman with the speed of a falcon and the weight of a dinosaur... but it's all I've got. Still, a damn sight better than anything done with the JLA since Mark Waid was writing it.


RED SONJA #20 - This book, too, is becoming far too scattered. The title is Red Sonja. I want to read the adventures of Red Sonja. Not see the mooks she's traveling with being put on trial ala Planet of the Apes. Not seeing some mysterious pirate wench (whose name is too close to that Howard heroine Valeria but is obviously not Valeria) running about dealing with impending disaster. Not seeing random villagers turning to barbarism - well, a more bloody barbarism, at any rate. Sonja is in danger of becoming a supporting player of her own title, being in barely half the pages of this issue and a majority of those being splash pages with little to no dialogue.


SHEENA PREVIEW - I picked this one up for three reasons. First, the price (99 cents). Second, I figured my girlfriend - who loves tough girl comics - might get a kick out of it. And the third - well, call me a sucker for anything inspired by the work of Will Eisner. And make no mistake - this book is Eisner-worthy. No pin-up book this, this book leaves the feminist and conservationalist leanings of the original Jungle Queen character pretty much intact. And while the series appears to have been modernized in some respects - Sheena now protects the Amazon rainforest from a corrupt Banana Republic government and loggers rather than the Congo from poachers and cannibals - the base idea of a woman who protects nature through the help of her animal friends and her own animal cunning that was the heart of Sheena, The Jungle Queen is still there. Highly reccomended.


ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #106 - I rag on Bendis a bit, but then he does an issue like this that reminds me of why Ultimate Spider-Man was such a breath of fresh air when it first came out. And after the sheer depressing weightiness of some of the Marvel books of late, it's a pleasant surprise to read a book where Peter Parker's biggest worries involve Kingpin buying the rights to his name, talking his way into keeping his job and a Kitty Pryde/Mary Jane Watson love triangle. Reason Number Three Marvel Comics is not totally doomed yet.