Apparently, I've Been Elected To Fix Marvel Comics.

Well, not quite. But the way some people are talking, you'd THINK that's what happened.

SOURCE:Greatest Nerd Theories: And the Winners Are...


... But frankly, there was one theory shared that was so brilliant, so fantastically argued, and so sensible that we should all adopt it as reality.

"Starman" Matt Morrison said:

My theory is about Spider-Man: One More Day and how we can retcon it away for good while also explaining away another horrible Marvel Comics storyline.

FACT: In One More Day, Peter Parker makes a bargain with the demon Mephisto to save his Aunt May's life at the cost of his marriage. Reality is rewritten so that Peter and Mary Jane never married and are currently broken up.

FACT: For some unexplained reason, in the rewritten reality, most of Peter's friends have vanished. Flash Thompson has returned to being the bully who makes Peter's life miserable. And for some strange reason, Harry Osborn is alive and well.

FACT: Events in general seem to be geared toward making Peter's life as comically, unbelievably horrible as possible. He can't get a job. His roommates hate him and/or Spider-Man. Aunt May marries J. Jonah Jameson's father. Jolly Jonah becomes Mayor of NYC and immediately sets about making capturing Spider-Man priority one for everyone. And Norman Osborn - despite being publicly known as The Green Goblin - has become head of the national agency in charge of monitoring/commanding all the legally-operating superheroes in the United States.

A lot of fans don't think ANY of this makes any sense. And it doesn't. Peter Parker - written properly - would never make a bargain with The Devil because it was easier than dealing with tragedy. It doesn't make any sense for Harry to be back from the dead because of Peter's bargain. And known-murderer and lunatic Norman Osborn being appointed to a national agency, much less being beloved by the public REALLY doesn't make any sense...

... unless this is all part of Norman's wish.

Would Norman make a literal deal with the devil to get power and a chance to cause as much chaos as possible by jacking around with the superheroes? Yes.

Would Norman make a literal deal with the devil to bring his own dead son back to life? Probably. Crazy as he was, he was always depicted as being a loving, if distant, father.

Would Norman make a literal deal with the devil to make Peter Parker as miserable as possible? Hell yes!

That's the idea: Mephisto went to Norman and offered him a chance to have all the wealth, power and prestige he always wanted. He even sweetened the deal by offering to bring Harry back from the dead AND by fixing it so that Peter Parker would be made as miserable as possible by the new world that was created.

Making Peter believe he'd be responsible for his own problems was just the icing on the evil cake.



Marvel, if you're reading this, cut Starman Matt Morrison a check and insert this into regular universe Spider-Man as soon as humanly possible. It corrects your biggest fuck-up of the last decade in a way that make perfect sense and works with all your existing storylines and would get all the fans (back) on your side. Do it. Don't be stuck up because some comics fan figured out how make it work and you couldn't. Do it. Seriously. Do it.


My friends, I don't care much about getting a check for some huge amount. I don't care about the relative fame that being known as The Man Who Saved Spider-Man might bring me. I wouldn't even insist on being the one to write this story. But I've been getting messages from a lot of people out there in the last few hours and not a one of them has said that they don't think that my idea is a good one.

So let's try this: if you like my idea, share it. Post it on your own blog or website or on a message board or discussion group if you frequent one. Let's just get the idea out there and let it roam free.

If Marvel Comics pilfers it, fine. I'll have gotten what I wanted.

Because even though I'm an alleged adult, I still look up to Spider-Man. Because he taught me that doing the right thing is more important than money and fame. And right now... trying to get this idea out where it can't be ignored... it feels like the right thing.

One More Reason To Boycott Marvel

SOURCE: Spider-Man writer equates hating "Brand New Day" to liking Gay Marriage as if both were outright evil.


*sighs*

There's so much wrongness here. Even ignoring the comic book guy angle and pointing out that the Brand New Day pretty much downplayed Peter and Mary Jane ever being serious in the new reality... this is wrongness incarnate.

I think a chart made by sums up the "logic" here best.

I don't have anything else to say. I'm already raged out over the Bail Out. I refuse to get annoyed about a comic book right now past reaffirming by refusal to buy Marvel.

Random Thought on Brand New Day and Marvel Comics On-Demand.

If pretty much the entire 30+ year history of Spider-Man doesn't count thanks to One More Day and everything has, in fact, regressed to the point where Harry Osborn is still alive, Flash and Peter are no longer close friends and Mary Jane has moved on and is no longer even dating Peter, much less being married to him...

... then there's really no point at all in anyone taking advantage of Marvel's Comics On-Demand program, is there?

I mean, I thought the whole point of the thing - apart from creating a legal precedent of digital owners ship so they can shut down the Internet pirates who have been trading .ZIPs and .RARs of their work for the better part of a decade now - was so that new fans can legally catch up on the back-story for series that they might not be able to enjoy otherwise.

Kinda pointless for all those new readers attracted by Brand New Day to subscribe to the service now, isn't it Joey?