X-Men: Schism - A No Flying, No Tights Review

SOURCE: X-Men: Schism



Mutants – those beings born with natural super powers – once represented the future of humanity. But as a wise man once said, “the future isn’t what it used to be,” and various circumstances have reduced the number of mutants world-wide to just about 200. Most of them now live on an artificial island dubbed Utopia, located just off the coast of San Francisco. With Mutantkind in such dire straits, their de facto leader, Scott Summers (a.k.a. the X-Men leader Cyclops), intends to go before the United Nations and ask for the recognition of Utopia as a peaceful nation. More, he plans to ask for the destruction of any weapons technology that specifically targets mutants.

An attack on the UN by a telepathic mutant terrorist leaves the rest of the world largely unsympathetic and leads to a run on the sale of Sentinels, the robotic assassins built exclusively to hunt and kill mutants. This is all according to the machinations of Kade Kilgore, a young munitions magnate and owner of most of the world’s remaining Sentinels. As Kilgore’s plans develop, the X-Men find themselves stretched increasingly thin trying to protect a world that hates and fears them from an army of malfunctioning Sentinels. And as the threat of total destruction builds and Cyclops forces more and more young mutants into battle, Wolverine will find himself taking a stand against his leader and starting a fight for the future of Mutantkind.

I’ve never been a big X-Men fan. In fact, it would be fair to say that I believe that X-Men comics in general are the epitome of everything that is wrong with American superhero comics. The storylines are dominated by characters who had far more thought put into their powers than their personalities. You need to read more than a doctoral student working on her thesis to have even a basic grasp of the continuity. And on the rare occasions a creator tries to do something unusual or thoughtful with the concept (I’m thinking Grant Morrison’s New X-Men or Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men), the fandom revolts and demands more of the same epic storylines where Everything Changes Forever.

X-Men: Schism is guilty of all of these generalizations. And yet, I found myself enjoying it anyway. The story Jason Aaron tells here is remarkably accessible, despite being mired in some complex continuity. While most of the supporting cast doesn’t get much definition and there are a few bits where only long-time X-Fans will get the joke, the action flows well and Aaron takes the time to show off the hidden paternal side of the team badass, Wolverine. Indeed, some of the best scenes in this story involve Wolverine and his efforts to try and give some sense of normalcy to the life of a 14-year-old girl who considers herself a monster because of her powers.

While the script flows well enough, the art doesn’t always aid the story. Each of the five chapters of X-Men: Schism is drawn by a different artist, each of them possessing a completely different style. They are all good artists, but the differences seem jarring at times as the story transitions from one scene to another.

Kieron Gillen, who wrote the final issue in this TP collection, fares somewhat better in his story, detailing how the two factions of mutants are formed in the wake of the titular schism. There are a lot of effective character moments here and some good humor. Sadly, the artistic metaphor of the B-story of this chapter – an odd sequence depicting the various X-Men as a tribe of cavemen rallying around two of their fellows battling for supremacy – seems to be less about tribalism as a metaphor for the current state of the Mutant population taking sides with either Cyclops or Wolverine and more about giving artist Billy Tan a chance to draw the X-Men as fur-clad barbarians.

Despite this tiny bit of fan service and the general sense that we’ve seen a lot of this story before in various pieces (Wolverine bonds with a troubled teenage girl, Wolverine fighting Cyclops, the return of The Sentinels, etc.), I’d still recommend this book. It isn’t the greatest X-Men story ever written, but it is a must-read for those who wish to know the current status quo of the team. It is good for what it is, a well-paced action flick on paper.

X-Men: Schism
by Jason Aaron and Kieron Gillen
Art by Carlos Pacheco, Frank Cho, Daniel Acuna, Alan Davis, Adam Kubert and Billy Tan
ISBN: 9780785156680
Marvel Comics, 2012
Publisher Age Rating: T (13 and Up)

A Special Review of Conan The Cimmerian #1

Oh gods... and it was going so well.

It's not that this comic is bad, really. Parts of it are bad, including...

1) The Cover, which pretty much proves everything everyone ever said about how Frank Cho cannot draw anything other than monsters, animals and women and how when in doubt, he'll always go for the out-of-proportion ass-shot. Also, look at the expression on the woman! You're surrounded by ape-men, a severed head is just inches away from your feet and a big burly man is standing over your body! How can you look bored?

It's a bit like that one skit on Mystery Science Theater 3000, where the robots have Mike trying to guess the emotion Kathy Ireland shows during different scenes of the movie and the answer, no matter how traumatic or shocking the scene, is always "Dull Surprise". Only in this case, Cho can't even manage 'dull surprise'. He has the dull part down, but there's no surprise.

Conan's not helping matters either. He's just standing there posed! No raised weapon. No fierce expression as he growls a warcry or curses in Crom's name. Just a vaguely menacing stare. Which, while appropriate to most social situations Conan is in, hardly seems fitting for facing an entire horde of beastmen.

2) The artwork in the flashback scenes, which is even more out of proportion than the asses of the women in Frank Cho's pin-ups.

3) The story - which isn't all that bad on it's own but... the book is called Conan The Cimmerian! I want to read a Conan story! Not watch Conan cozying up to the fire as a mysterious soothsayer tells Conan stories about his grandfather!

I'm not holding out much hope for the next issue either, since the preview shows YET another posed Frank Cho cover and the flashback ends on a cliff-hanger. But we can hope.

Looking To The Stars - Another Week, Another Bunch of Reviews

Not much on my pull-list this week. But with one exception, everything I read this week was great.

52 Week #18
Company Name: DC Comics
Writers: Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka and Mark Waid
Art: Various

I thought it was John Constantine on the cover at first, but no – it’s Ralph Dibny in a trenchcoat. Regardless, this was one of the better issues in recent memory as we get to see the plot for Question and Montyoa move forward (finally), the possible return of a Booster Gold and…well, I won’t spoil the surprise but I don’t think anyone saw what appears to be happening in the last few pages coming by a long shot.

Grade: A

Detective Comics #823
Writer: Paul Dini
Artists: Joe Benitez and Victor Llama

It’s official. Detective Comics is my favorite post-One Year Later comic book. Dini is in fine form, adding new corners onto the regular universe while bring the unique blend of horror and comedy that made him one of the most popular writers on Batman: The Animated Series. If you haven’t started picking this title up yet, now is the time to start. Don’t worry about catching up – apart from one mention of last issue’s revelation that Riddler has gone straight and is now a detective for hire – the story is entirely self-contained.

Grade: A

Spider-Man Special: Black and Blue and Read All Over
Writer: Jim Krueger
Artists: Drew Johnson & Tom Palmer

Doth my eyes deceive me? A Marvel Comic NOT written by Dan Slott that is… fun? No Joke, True Believers! This is one of the best Spider-Man stories in recent memory – and not JUST because there is no taint of Civil War, the Iron Spider Armor or Peter not having a secret identity anymore in it. Indeed, the whole story hinges upon Peter planning to reveal his secret identity in exchange for a chance to tell his own story in The Daily Bugle. What happens next? Read it and see!

Grade: B

Savage Red Sonja: Queen of the Frozen Wastes #1
Writers: Doug Murray and Frank Cho
Artist: Homs

Frank Cho knows how to draw a pretty woman, right? And Red Sonja is a pretty woman, right? So this should be a decent looking book, right? Well, it might be except for three problems. (Four if you count the scary man-legs Sonja has on the Cho cover)

1. Cho isn’t the artist on this book. He’s the co-writer and one of the cover artists. So except for the cover, his fans are going to be disappointed.
2. His writing isn’t all that great, with Sonja sounding like a valley girl.
3. The artist, this relative newcomer Homs, draws Sonja in similar fashion, with “Ohmygod!” expressions throughout. Hardly the hardy warrior maiden we know.

But the really bad thing about this book, particularly in light of the recent Red Sonja #13, is the costuming. Now understand that unlike many critics, I have no trouble recognizing that scanty, impractical armor is a convention of the fantasy genre. (And fair being fair, Conan’s fur boxers aren’t much good for repelling swords either) I think that Mike Oeming’s explanation for Sonja’s armor (maximize agility against slower male warriors while distracting them) is actually a very good one. But the fact is that Sonja’s homeland is a desert. Most of the places we’ve seen her traveling in the monthly title were, at the very worst, of temperate climate. And now in the monthly title, when Sonja is traveling into the frozen northlands, what does she do?

She puts on several layers of fur – that’s what. Because Sonja, unlike this book, isn’t stupid.

Grade: F

Finally, on a less happy note, Killer Princess,/i> artist Lea Hernandez needs our help. Even if you aren’t a fan of her work (and I don’t know why you wouldn’t be), send what you can.

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.

Visit our blog at: http://www.livejournal.com/users/looking2dastars/

Looking To The Stars - Gaysploitation!

Hello. Happy to see you all here. Been a while for some of you, hasn’t it?

Well, for those of you who are wondering why there’s been no column for two weeks, please read last week’s A-Kon Convention Report, which was mysteriously posted on Wednesday without much fanfare.

There were also some problems with my ISP which have now, thankfully, been worked out.

Still, despite all this, its’ been two weeks without a regular monthly column. Lots of things happened in the comics world in those to weeks though, and there’s a lot of news I have to cover in my own inimitable fashion. But with all the things that happened in the past three weeks since I wrote a regular column, one story stands above all others.



Frank Cho To Write 4-Issue Red Sonja Mini-Series



Now, I know what you’re thinking. Ol’ Unca Starman must have eaten some bad Pocky while at A-KON to think that this is all that important a story. Well, this story is more important than you think when you consider that it is a dark mirror of the attitudes shaping our business today.

Long time fans will remember my taking Mr. Cho to task for his Shanna: The She-Devil mini-series. (Those who don’t remember it can read it here.)

The short version is that Frank took a character who had been created as a feminist and environmentalist hero back in the 70’s and cut all of her character in order to create what would have been a T&A extravaganza had Marvel not wised up and made him put a costume on his creation at the last minute. Indeed, Cho’s exact comments when questioned upon the feminist background of Shanna, according to a recent Wizard Magazine Interview, were...

”When I signed on, Marvel sent me a bunch of those old issues, and let me tell you—I’m not sure what the hell was happening in the ’70s, but all of those damn hippies were smoking crack when they wrote those comics. It was such a B.S., feminist, environmental message! I was so pissed off when I finished reading them. That’s two hours of my life that I’ll never get back. It wasn’t a comic, it was more like a “Green Party” propaganda thing”


Yes. Because Steven Gerber is such a well-known crack-smoker.

In all seriousness, Cho, while being a talented artist, has shown himself to have little to no interest in doing his homework as a writer. He couldn’t write a character properly, so he created something new using the same name. And this attitude, this pandemic is become typical of far too many writers today.

That is why I as a Red Sonja fan, and the boyfriend of a fanatical Red Sonja fan, I am rather worried about Frank Cho getting his hands on everyone’s favorite amazon... metaphorically speaking.

Yes, Cho can draw a beautiful woman. If he were capable of drawing more than one face, he might be one of the greatest artists in the business. But there’s a reason why he mostly sticks to pin-ups and cute animals and that is he just isn’t strong enough to sustain a realistic series. And that’s a problem in a series like Red Sonja which, giant monsters and magic aside, is fairly well grounded in realistic characters and real-world physics.

This is not to say that there is not some creative license with the character. Scanty chainmail is not the warmest of garments but thankfully Sonja’s homeland in the Robert E. Howard world is a fairly large and warm land. And of course her armor doesn’t protect much physically but it serves another purpose.

As Sonja herself put it in one issue, “Men are easily distracted”. Throw in the fact that her speed is her greatest advantage in a fight and it makes sense she’d choose not to be weighed down with full-plate. Still, there is a fine line between showing a hint of exposed buttcheek and the chainmail thong that Cho and artists like him are so fond of drawing.

This creates an interesting problem for those of us in the business of bringing new readers into the comic book game. I know Sonja isn’t an empty-headed bimbo but a strong woman who uses her body as a weapon in more ways than one. But how does it look to the new reader? I can ramble on and on about the feminist underpinnings of the character and how she is a strong, independent woman in a world dominated by evil men and dark sorcery and it won’t do a thing for those who are going “Why does she have ass cleavage?”

And this leads us to consider a larger issue – at what point does cheesecake artwork stop being fun and start becoming exploitation. For that matter, at what point does the existence of beautiful women in comics start being exploitive?

Take the new Batwoman for example. I had several people e-mail to ask me what my opinion was of the fact that the new Batwoman was a lesbian. And my opinion was; why is this news?

Actually, it probably IS news to the readers of the New York Times, which broke the story, so let me rephrase that. WHY IS THIS A BIG DEAL?

There have been lesbian characters in comic books before. Hell, Rene Montoya... one of the main characters of DC’s 52... is a lesbian. Maggie Sawyer, the head cop in Metropolis for years and late of the much missed Gotham Central? Lesbian, who managed to get her life-partner snuck into an episode of Superman: The Animated Series, no less.

Of course, the big deal is that this is a mainstream character... sort of... who is being outed. But as amused as I am that the Batwoman character, who was originally created along with Batgirl in the 50’s to counter charges made in the book Seduction of the Innocent that Batman and Robin were homosexual lovers, is now being used to promote the gay lifestyle, I am more disturbed by the wording used to describe the character.

To quote The New York Times Article Kathy Kane is “…is a wealthy (socialite), buxom lipstick lesbian”. Now, on the odd chance that someone out there is unfamiliar with the term, a lipstick lesbian, at least in popular culture, is a slang term for any lesbian character whose homosexuality exists primarily to titillate heterosexual males. For an in depth example of this, see most of the characters on the Showtime series “The L-Word”, most of the women in a Girls Gone Wild video and indeed any bit of mainstream lesbian pornography.

It’s called the Internet. There’s tons of it out there.

Now, let us think about that for a second. The character is introduced as being a beautiful, rich woman who likes other women. Apart from the fact that she dresses like a flying mouse, how is that really a change from the other attractive lesbian characters that are already occupying the DC Comics Universe?

It doesn’t. And that’s exploitive. It would be one thing if it were just presented as a fact about the characters, rather than being a banner headline in one of the nation’s highest-selling papers. As it is, it just screams of desperation – like DC Comics is trying to court the gay dollar by screaming “Hey! Look at us! We’re diverse and edgy and gay friendly!”

You know what DC would really do if they wanted to be edgy? Put out a Batwoman that is a wealthy, socialite overweight bull-dyke lesbian. Would this be stereotypical? Yes. Would it be a lot closer to the truth than some stunning supermodel? As someone who knows quite a few lesbians who describe themselves as dead butch, I say yes. Would it sell? Probably not.

You go to the other extreme- the not socially acceptable stereotype of gay women – and what would be the interest? Desperate, wanking fanboys wouldn’t buy it for the same reason they wouldn’t buy Liberty Meadows comics if Frank Cho suddenly converted to Islam and started drawing burkas on all his female characters. The gay comic-reading community (and there’s a minority group if ever there was one) would be up in arms over the phrase “bull-dyke”. The die-hard fanboys like me wouldn’t give a toss one way or the other so long as the writing was good. And ultimately, it would all be just as meaningless.

You want to see how to do this kind of thing right? Go read the Villains United TP. Without giving too much away, it gets revealed that two established female characters… both attractive, self-confident women, are both lesbians in a relationship. Did they make a big deal about it? No. Was there a big parade or articles written about it? No. Did it add something to the characters? Yes.

And that ultimate is the problem with the new Batwoman. She is hype for hype’s sake and her homosexuality is nothing more than a Winickian plot device meant to lure in readers. It is just as crass and exploitive as your average Frank Cho cover. And as a fighting liberal and a feminist, I am ashamed as a comic geek and a man that professional publishers can stoop so low in the name of sales.

Still, maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe I’ve unwittingly become part of the censorship army that Erik Larsen claims is trying to rid comic books of big boobies. All I’m trying to say is that you can draw beautiful women but to avoid pushing the cheesecake angle and that you can have all the lesbians you want in a comic – just don’t pretend that having one more attractive women in a skin-tight outfit is something new and exciting.

Comments? The e-mail is down there.

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.

Looking To The Stars: She-Devil May Care

Am I the only one who cares about the total mess Frank Cho has made out of the good name of Dr. Shanna O'Hara?

While giving myself a refresher course in the history of the original "Shanna The She Devil", I determined that out of the eighty websites that came up during one web search, only four of them yielded any information about the character outside of Frank Cho's new pet project. Of those, only one gave any suitable background information on the character whom was Marvel Comic's first attempt at creating a feminist icon. Yes, even before Ms. Marvel!

Let us go back to a different time; when there was great social unrest, the country was torn apart by a war many felt to be unjust and a president of questionable moral integrity sat in the White House.

(Well, okay. Maybe not THAT different a time.)

The year was 1972. The Women's Liberation movement was becoming a true force to be reckoned with. Helen Reddy had just released I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar. And Marvel, seeing the way the wind was blowing, decided that perhaps they should start publishing some books about empowered, modern female heroes.

And so it was that they release three titles. Night Nurse; a rather forgettable title centering around three nurses working night-shift in a hospital and their many adventures. The Cat, whose base concept would later be used to create a different "The Cat", who would eventually go on to become the heroine Tigra. And finally, "Shanna, The She-Devil, which would go on to have the greatest lasting effect upon The Marvel Universe.

Shanna O'Hara had a happy enough childhood. Raised in Africa on a nature preserve by her father, a former big-game hunter who has turned to conservation, Shanna was raised with a deep respect for nature and a love of animals. She would later go to school in the United States, where she would get a doctorate in veterinary sciences and get a job with a zoo.

It is while working at the zoo that Shanna began to develop a deep hatred of modern "civilization", particularly in regards to how badly the animals in her care are treated by her co-workers and the patrons of the zoo. It is then that she decides to do the only sensible thing a rational woman can do; she dons a leopard-skin bikini, rescues a panther and a leopard (named Ina and Biri, respectively) and goes to bless the rains down in Africa faster than you can say 'Toto'.

Okay, that is pretty crazy on the surface of it. But that is no more irrational than radiation being able to make you big, green and strong.

Shanna would then go on to a lucrative if brief career. She protected the wilds from poachers and fighting third-rate villains such as The Mandrill. She also struck a blow for women everywhere by proving that she could rescue the wannabe love-interest who kept getting in their way just as well as any Superman. In Shanna's case, she had to keep bailing out a thick slab of Irish beefcake by the name of Patrick McShane. Still, it may have been too much, too soon.

Still, one cannot fault the talent behind Shanna for the book's inability to take off. With covers by legendary artist Jim Steranko (Check out this page for a peek at the first one.), artwork by long-time Wonder Woman artist Ross Andru and scripts/plots from Howard the Duck creator Steve Gerber, this book had the talent to take it into the stratosphere.

But despite Wonder Woman making the cover of the newly-launched Ms. Magazine, Marvel may have overestimated the number of enlightened women reading comics. The numbers were lower than they had hoped and all three of these books were canceled with a speed unseen even today at Marvel. Night Nurse and The Cat lasted a scant four issues. Shanna did little better, lasting until issue five before getting the axe.

Still, Shanna would later move on to better things. She became a frequent partner of Spider-Man and Daredevil throughout the 70's and 80's and would have a brief relationship with the latter hero. Though the romance didn't last, they would remain close enough that Shanna would later name her son Matthew in Matt Murdock's honor.

That son, of course, came at the hands of Shanna's most famous romantic partner: the man she eventually married. Kevin Plunder, aka Ka-Zar - protector of the lost jungle known as The Savage Land. Perfect place for a woman seeking to get away from it all. Sadly, while Ka-Zar's several solo series lasted slightly longer than Shanna's, neither was able to completely escape from the feeling among some fans that in a world of flying superheroes, the adventures of a married couple and their son living in a jungle fighting monsters is pretty dull stuff. Never mind that Tarzan and The Phantom did just fine with that concept for years.

So what does any of this have to do with Frank Cho's "Shanna, The She-Devil"? Thankfully, at least from the view point of someone who has been following the adventures of Dr. Shanna O'Hara through a whole lot of cameos, not bloody much.

Cho has gleefully disavowed HIS "Shanna" from having anything to do with Ka-Zar, her son, The Savage Land or indeed any of the rich feminist or environmentalist roots of the original character. To quote Mr. Cho from a 2002 interview...


To be quite honest, I've never read any Ka-Zar or Shanna stories in my life until couple of months ago. To prep me for Shanna, Marvel sent me a bunch of 1970's Shanna comics and couple of 1980's Shanna comics... Those Shanna comics were some of the worst comics that I've ever read in my life. So, I called up {senior editor} Axel Alonso at Marvel and told him that I'm completely reinventing her and build her up from scratch. No more B.S. animal rights or environmental message or stupid-ass stories about her being a daughter of a big game hunter or her being married to that Tarzan-lite, Ka-Zar. And Axel Alonso, bless that man, gave me his full support to radically redo Shanna.

To be honest, I was rather relieved to read those above words. Suddenly, it all made sense... why the book that Frank Cho has released has absolutely nothing to do with the original character; the one who I fell in love with reading Mark Waid's run on Ka-Zar.

Okay. So we aren't going to have any of the original plot or characterization behind Shanna. What CAN we expect to see in this series, Mr. Cho?

She's literally a brand new character with no ties to other books and stories. No Plunder clan. No stupid animal rights or environmental message. Nothing. It's strictly Shanna. You have to read it to see what I'm taking about."

Hmmm... so we're going to write the character by completely discarding everything that makes her unique and turn her into a general generic jungle bimbo, akin to what we've seen in Avatar Press' Jungle Fantasy? Interesting. But what will this new Shanna be about?

...action, suspense, humor, violence, nudity, and a whole lot of jiggling...

Well, not so much nudity now that Marvel has gone and Nerfed what was meant to be an adults-only book and thus removed the only worthwhile element of this revamp. I have said it before and I'll say it again; the only people buying Frank Cho books are adolescent boys in men's bodies, who are too scared to go out and buy a Playboy Magazine to satisfy their natural urges.

And having read the first issue of Frank Cho's Shanna (which you can read for free at Mile High Comics) I can tell you that the only serviceable use it has is as pornography for teenage boys. You can get the same basic effect of reading this book by watching Jurassic Park with the sound muted and a nude-picture of Gena Nolin taped to one side of the screen.

The story is trite stuff. Generic army grunts find a secret Nazi base (we know it's a Nazi base because they have Nazi flags all over it: nice way to keep it secret) and discover a naked woman grown inside a tank. They let her out, explore around and find a woman hiding inside a closet. Faster than you can say "dummkopf", the raptors are loose and ready to eat everyone. Bullets seem to have limited effect, but the mysterious naked (now covered under a blanket, John Ashcroft style) woman is able to snap their necks easy as pie.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about this series anymore. For once, Marvel's lassie faire editorial policy will work to our benefit. If this story no longer has to be part of a set continuity, then it doesn't matter how poorly written it is. It doesn't matter that one of the first feminist characters of Old Marvel has been turned into a screaming example of why most women avoid comic shops like the plague. It doesn't even matter that Shanna is a blonde when she's supposed to be a redhead.

Why? Because you boys can have your fun for the next seven months. We real men will enjoy ourselves reading about a real woman.

Still, don't take my word for it. Here is a list of every comic in my collection featuring the original Shanna, The She-Devil. I encourage you all to track these issues down and judge for yourselves which is better; the feminist crusader or the wordless wild-woman.

Shanna, The She-Devil #1-5
Rampaging Hulk : Vol. 2, #9
Ka-Zar : Vol. 2, #1-2
Daredevil : Vol. 1, #109, 111-113, 117
Marvel Two-In-One #3
Savage Tales #8-10
Marvel Fanfare : Vol. 1, #56-59
Contest of Champions #1
Ka-Zar : Vol. 3, #1-32, 34
Uncanny X-Men Annual #7 and #12
Avengers : Vol. 1, #257
Iron Man : Vol. 1, #202
Fantastic Four : Vol. 2, #316-317
West Coast Avengers Annual #3
Marvel Comics Presents #13, 16, 68-77
Uncanny X-Men #250, 274-275, 354
Ka-Zar: Graphic Novel
Namor : Vol. 1, 16-19, 21
Tales of the Marvel Universe #1
Sensational Spider-Man #13-15
Ka-Zar Annual '97
Ka-Zar : Vol. 4, #1-20
Captain America : Vol. 3, #29, 31

One last thought, before I close out. For the real woman in my unreal life.

Sierra, baby? Happy Valentine's Day!

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.