Tuesday, October 1, 2002

The Mount - So It Has Come To This...

Come back Peter David! All is forgiven... except for the Earth Angel Supergirl! But I take back every other nasty thing I ever said about you and your writing. I apologize for laughing at every crack Gail Simone or Kevin Smith ever made about you. I'll even write a formal apology for turning people away from your Star Trek novels while I was working at the bookstore! Just please, please... PLEASE come back and write Aquaman again before it is too late!

Now long time readers may be wondering what on Earth could make ol Starman Matt be screaming piously like Pat Robertson when he needs a new house. "Don't you really not like Peter David's writing?" they might ask.

The answer is a resounding yes. I can't stand Peter David. I can't stand his prose style in general. I think most of his plots are lackluster. But most of all, I can't forgive his apparent need to reinvent every character he writes. The creation of the hook-handed Aquaman and Earth-Angel Supergirl in particular.

"Then what ( and I hope he gets to the point soon, you think) could make you scream these apologies, Unca Stars?"

I quote now from the most recent issue of Previews...

"Banished from Atlantis? Branded a traitor? Every deizen of the deep programed to deliver him a death sentence... It's Aquaman as you've never seen him before.

The Aftermath of the epic JLA storyline "The Obsidian Age" has left Aquaman hated by his former subjects and exile from the life giving ocean he once called home. The king they called Orin is judged guilty of high treason for crimes committed during The Obsidian Age. His sentence: death.

Left to perish on an exposed reef, Aquaman discovers- to his horror- that all the creatures of the sea are instructed to attack him without mercy and that he must now turn to other bodies of water for sanctuary. In a mysterious freshwater lake, he finds refuge and much more, as he is granted amazing new powers and a new mission in life.

The oceans may be off limits, but the Lady of the Lake has presented him with his true destiny...."

Am I the only one who reads these words with dread of what is coming? I mean, I'm all for giving a new book or a new take on a character a chance... but there is only so much bending you can do before things break. And I thought Arthur Curry/Orin or whatever he calls himself now had already hit the breaking point after the hook incident.

Mark my words: this will be the Electric Superman all over again. The book will sell a lot at first and a few people will cheer the new change and an end to the old clichés... but then, things will shift back.

The die-hard Aquaman fans (and let's be honest... what other kind are there?) will protest and keep protesting... and things will go back to the way they were. So it has happened before. So it shall be again. And I think I can say this safely, as the only exception to this rule I can think of is Kyle Rayner still being Green Lantern, despite the protests of many Hal Jordan fans.

Until next time, may your clerks be friendly and your comics unbent.