Fast Thoughts On The Comics Released The Week of 01/27/2010

The good news is that payday has come, my tab at the comic book shop is all paid up and I have all the books I wanted to get over the last month.

The bad news is that leaves me with 40-something books to cover.

Why is that bad news? Consider the effect that writing 40 something reviews in a timely manner would have on your friends' list to say nothing of my front page.

So rather than spam-bomb us all with individual reviews, I'm going to do this the old-fashioned way and just give you my Fast Thoughts on each issue, with comics scans as needed.




JACK OF FABLES #42 - It's funny but despite being annoyed the past few months with how the tone of this book has changed from broad buddy comedy and slapstick to honest, actual heroics... I actually liked this issue. I suppose Jack the Younger is finally starting to grow on me. But more than that, I'm actually excited by this issue and the idea of getting to see more of the Fables' Universe from the viewpoint of a relative newcomer offering us something new and exciting that has been lacking in the main title for quite some time now.

The adventures of Babe the Little Blue Ox are still the book's best selling point, though.

WONDER WOMAN #40 - If, for some odd reason, you haven't listened to a word I've said in the past about how utterly awesome this book is and how you should be reading it, take note of the following points.

1. This issue is the perfect jumping-on point for new readers, despite being mostly concerned with the action of a new group of enemies - the sons of Ares - and summing up some continuity-based nit-picking regarding how the modern Etta Candy became more of a bad ass than she was previously.

2. It perfectly showcases Diana's role as Earth foremost defender from magical and divine threats, as she deals with an enraged Aztec deity.

3. This first panel. And the fact that Diana talks to Aztec deities like a small-town cop to the town drunk.

And just when you think it can't get any better, Power Girl shows up.

One Good Thing And One Bad Thing About Jack of Fables #41

GOOD THING: The book still features the adventures of Babe The Miniature Blue Ox!

BAD THING: Apparently they WERE serious last issue. Jack Sr. is gone and we're left with only one page of Babe and the antics of "Jack Frost of Mars" for the rest of the issue.






The Final Verdict: Jack Frost's tales are the stuff of fine adventure... which would be fine if this weren't meant to be a comedy book. At least, that's why I read it. How about you all? As it is, the only funny part of the book these days is Babe the Blue Ox. And that's just sad given that this used to be the funniest book to come out every month.

One Good Thing And One Bad Thing About Jack of Fables #40

GOOD THING: Jack the Younger's adventure is a passable (if not particularly original) sword-and-sorcery story.

BAD THING: I'm not alltogether sure that what we see on the last page here is a joke and that they really are going to get rid of Jack the Elder and Gary... albeit it temporarily. Maybe. I hope.

The Final Verdict: I'm fast approaching apathy regarding this title. I read this book because it is funny and the parts that are funny are very slowly being cut out or reduced in importance. If we truly are left with the adventures of Action Boy and His Talking Animal Companion next month with nary a sign of The Selfish Dragon, I'm out.

One Good Thing And One Bad Thing About Jack of Fables #39

GOOD THING: I can honestly say that the ending of this book - and exactly what was happening to Jack - was a surprise to me.

BAD THING: None of the rest of the book was a surprise to me. And that's a very bad thing. Particularly when the best part of the book continues to be the one-page internal adventures of Babe The Blue Ox and the main storyline centering on Jack The Younger seems like a generic fantasy story taken from some other book.

Honestly, what's happening with Jack Jr. isn't nearly as interesting as the one page of Babe or - holy crap - Jack Sr. becoming a bleeding big dragon. Hopefully the book will shift gears again soon because while Jack Jr's adventures aren't BAD by any means, they don't seem like a proper Jack of Fables story.

Comic Reviews - 09/30/09 and 10/07/09

I still haven't gotten my comics for this last week yet and I probably won't be able to until next weekend. Still, I have two weeks worth to catch up on... so let's get to it, as I give you my thoughts on the issues of the past two weeks plus one page scan (or, in one case, one scan made up of parts of two pages that go better together) from each book.

So come along, if you are at all interested in Batman: The Widening Gyre #2, Blackest Night: Titans #2, , Green Lantern #46, Jack of Fables #38, Knights Of The Dinner Table #154, Warlord #7 and Wonder Woman #36



BATMAN: THE WIDENING GYRE #2 - Kevin Smith's writing seems to be hit and miss with most people; you either hate it or you love it. With me, it hits. And in reading this most recent issue, I've noticed something regarding one of the more common complaints about Smith's take on Batman; specifically, how Smith's Batman curses and uses common slang.

"I'm embarrassed I let him run me this far. Look at him, the big fat mess. Under any other circumstances, at this point, I'm watching Gordon's men load him into the meat wagon, with breaks that will never heal. You're so lucky you fat, bloated turd... So lucky you're holding that kid. He plays the hostage card, banking on me going after the (falling) girl instead of him. Dammit... I hate being predictable."

The interesting thing is that after this issue I think I can justify this by comparing it to Principal Skinner from The Simpsons and the old line "I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder - if i find out you cut class, your ass is mine! Yes, you heard me. I THINK words I'd never SAY." Because if you look carefully throughout this book - and Smith's other Batman works - you'll note that Batman never actually says "Dammit." or "You bastard!" or the like... but he sure does THINK them loud.

This is not to say that this isn't jarring for those of us who aren't used to getting an internal dialogue in a Batman book. They haven't been in vogue for a while now. And Smith's other great flaw is that the story so far - and this issue in particular - go all OVER the place on the fanboy in-joke/continuity scale.

Here's the quick summary: We start out with Batman in an amusement park, fighting a child molester/serial killer with a hostage who appears so have been taken from the Doll's House book of Neil Gaiman's Sandman. Batman has a quick flashback to himself and Robin fighting Toyman with an assist from Superman. He returns home to have a quiet moment with longtime 70's love interest Silver St. Cloud. And the issue ends with Batman going after Cornelius Stirk -a telepathic cannibal from the Dark Age of Comics. And throughout all of this, there is a mysterious goat-masked hero who is helping Batman out from the shadows

Yes, that's the QUICK summary.

So what does Smith get right? A lot more than he gets wrong, for my money.

While the story does go over the place and is a bit reference heavy, Smith explains it all effortlessly and without making it feel like he's info-dumping on the reader. And the Funland reference is more of an Easter Egg for Sandman fans more than anything, as you don't have to have read Doll's House to appreciate this story.

And I must say that more than any writer in recent memory, I do love Smith's take on Alfred.

The artwork is excellent as well, with Walt Flanaghan effortlessly switching between 70's kitsch, 80's grit and 90's horror as the scene warrants.

All in all, it's not so great that you can't wait for the trade but there are much worse things to spend your money on if you're up for a good classic Batman story.



BLACKEST NIGHT: TITANS #2 - This book is pretty much what we were afraid all of the Blackest Night tie-ins would be; a pitiful excuse for the heroes of the DC Universe to get smacked around by super-powered zombies, while being written horribly out of character.

And I'd like to officially nominate Donna Troy for the title of Dumbest Heroine Ever just for this moment alone.

What's that? My dead husband wants me to hold my dead son? No problem!




GREEN LANTERN #46 - This issue is titled Uneasy Alliance. And boy does that sum it up.

* Hal Jordan, Sinestro, Carol Ferris and Indigo One form the titular Uneasy Alliance as Zamaron is captured by the Black Lanterns.

* We find out that the mysterious dead couple, whose endless love created the violet star sapphires that the Zamarons used to power their love-based Corps were a previous reincarnation of Hawkman and Hawkgirl. Way to tie it together, Johns!

* Sinestro finally confronts - and defeats - Mongul, as they fight for control over the fear-powered Sinestro Corps. Bonus Points - Sinestro does this in order to save the homeworld that has shunned him. Nice thematic resonance for the Green Lantern saga as the idea of a hero having to save the people who rejected his heroism has come up several times (Hal saving the Earth after the Parallax incident, Sodam Yat saving Daxam...)

Lots of cool moments, but for my money, the best is Carol giving voice to the thoughts that 90% of the reading audience had about the new Star Sapphire uniform.

JACK OF FABLES #38 - Not much to tell in this issue. Jack is continuing to get fatter and balder. His son, Jack Frost, has undertaken his first serious quest as a hero. Plot wise nothing much has changed. So now for something completely different - the adventures of Babe The Blue Ox!

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #154 - A nice jumping-on issue for those who have been curious about this book but haven't dared tried an issue yet because of the on-going storylines. The Knights and The Black Hands gear up to go to a gaming convention but Bob, Dave and Brian get locked in Brian's basement before they can get on the road.

Hilarity ensues as three gamers resort to children's board games in order to get their gaming fix, though playing Mystery Date using the cards from a nudie playing card deck in lieu of the actual dates is rather inspired as are Bob's attempts to run a Hackmaster campaign without his usual gear.

Who would have thought you could turn Clue into Ravenloft? Only a mad genius like Bob!



WARLORD #7 - Honestly, how much you will enjoy this issue will depend upon four factors.

1. How much you like Mike Grell's writing.
2. How much you like Mike Grell's artwork.
3. Your tolerance for mystery stories where you are left to puzzle things out along with the hero.
4. How much you like big pages with lots of artwork, few panels and a good deal of violence and near nudity - both male and female.

My one complaint? I wish Grell had done this as a Vertigo series, because the lengths taken to keep the toga-clad virgin from showing anything while she is running around and falling out of her ripped garment are just comically ridiculous. Give that man points for being inventive, though.



WONDER WOMAN #36 - Taking it as read that anything Gail Simone writes is brilliant and funny, what else can I say about this issue?

I like how the contrived romance with Nemesis started and promoted by the previous writing teams has finally been ended.

I like how Giganta calls a momentary truce to talk relationship conflicts with a clearly upset Diana - something she can full well relate to being a growing supervillain who is dating a shrinking superhero. (The Atom shout out for the win!)

I like the continued resistance that the female amazons (especially the former queen's honor guard) show to their new male counterparts.

But mostly? I love this moment as Diana confronts the newly-crowned Amazon King Achilles.

If you aren't reading this book, you should be.

Thoughts On Nearly Everything I Read In August

There's a few things I feel the need to write full reviews for. So apart from all those books (and all the Blackest Night tie-ins, which are going to get their own post), here are my thoughts on everything else I've read this mont.



CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #12 - The Black Colossus adaptation comes to a close but not quite soon enough for my tastes. Don't get me wrong - this was a good read. But it did feel slightly padded in the middle chapters. Some characters can benefit from decompressed storytelling but Conan is not one of them. And they fail to save the ending of the story (Conan ravishes a princess on the altar of the evil god he just saved her from being sacrificed too) from seeming cliched, even though this is probably one of the most definitive sword and sorcery tales ever.


DOCTOR WHO #2 - Your love of this issue will depend upon two factors; how much of a Doctor Who fan you are and your ability to cope with a silent-film tribute in the middle part of the issue, where the Doctor's pursuit of the villain becomes a Keystone Cops skit. Take that as you will - but note that I loved it.


DOCTOR WHO: COLD BLOODED WAR - Another Doctor/Donna tale, this one centers upon the duo being dragged into a civil war regarding sexism and monarchies in the Draconian empire. Ugly artwork distracts from a decent story where Donna does more to save the day than The Doctor. Only required reading for the most dedicated of Whovians.


EX MACHINA #44 - The plot thickens. More is revealed about the source of Mitchell Hundred's amazing powers and the purpose he was meant to serve. It is awesome. Get the trades and start from Issue #1 if you aren't already reading this book.


FABLES #87 - Oh good. After last month's origin of just how Mr. Dark escaped from his prison and a crossover which has nearly ignored the mental breakdown of one of my favorite characters in the whole series (Rose Red), I'm overjoyed to see that this issue... continues to ignore her breakdown and instead focuses upon all the bad evil magic stuff that is now running loose and the power struggle among the witches of what was the 13th Floor.

*sighs* You'd think at least Snow White would give a damn about her sister and what might have happened what with Jack raping her. But no - Red Rose doesn't even get a bloody mention, though Bigby, Beast and Cole can't stop talking about what a scoundrel Jack is without even MENTIONING Rose.


HELLBLAZER #258 - Crap. Utter crap. The art is about the same as ever - and that's not a good thing - but Milligan makes multiple continuity mistakes that only further aggravate the problems with his portrayal of John Constantine. To make a long story short, John tries to use his magic powers to resurrect his murdered girlfriend - something which, according to the widely available and very popular Hellblazer story Son of Man - you CAN NOT do with magic under any circumstances. Throw in John, who is no idiot, trying to use a magical device that depends on the user being pure... yeah. John hasn't been written this sleazily or stupid since the Brian Azzarello days. In my personal continuity, these stories DID NOT HAPPEN. Period.


JACK OF FABLES #37 - Jack is going bald and fat. Gary lost his power to make inanimate things come to life. And somewhere in the Homelands, Jack Frost - son of Jack Horner - is embarking upon a quest to become a great hero or at least a much better person than his parents. At last this book is still awesome and knows how to keep a plot thread going.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #153 - Most of the comic space is devoted toward some of the series regulars playing a Car Wars style board game, which is quite amusing. The on-going stories advance somewhat, with magical things being afoot in Bagworld and the fight for who owns Hackmaster getting ready to go into overdrive.

The Gaming At The Movie column continues to be a blight upon the printed page, with this month's column advising you on how to best rip-off the Pirates of the Caribbean movies for your D&D campaign. Yeah - I'll still clear of anything which advises me to use Jack Sparrow as an GM NPC who "wouldn't overshadow the player characters."

Son, if you're doing CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow any justice, he'll steal every scene he's in. Savvy?


POWER GIRL #4 - Pure unadulterated win. The best new book to come out this year.


RED SONJA #47 - Last issue, Sonja was racing northward against her sworn enemy toward their mutual vague goal. This issue... they are both still racing northward toward their mutual vague goal. But Sonja does kill her traitorous sister and give her niece up to another family. And then at the end of the issue, everyone is STILL racing northward toward their mutual vague goal.

The one bit of good news? Apparently the series is ending and restarting as Queen Sonja, with Mel Rubi returning as artist and a good writer this time!

Jack of Fables #36

In which we explore Rule Number One Of Comics: Everything Is Better With Monkeys. Errr... Apes.



I had hoped that this issue might give us some answers regarding all the concerns raised in my mind by The Great Fables Crossover. I figured that at the very least we might get an inkling of the new status-quo with The Literals apparently departed from this plane of reality and depowered.

What I was not expecting was a guest issue flashing back to yet another point in Jack's life, as he tells the story of how he became the inspiration for Tarzan - aka Jack'N'Apes.

Honestly, this book is good for what it is and you'd never know that Willingham and Sturges didn't have a hand in writing it. Of course the stuff with Jack and his Jane (a talking ape with a thing for humans) is pretty squicky... but par for the course in a book where the main character has accidentally committed incest three times with his half-sisters.

Tony Akins art is wonderful is always. This is one of the most well drawn books out there and I'm amazed that Jack of Fables hasn't followed its' sister title into getting some Eisner nominations for art. Really not much else I can say beyond that.



The Final Verdict: It's a fill-in that you'd never realize was a fill-in without looking at the credits. High praise indeed for writer Chris Roberson.

A Primer for Fables and A Semi-Review of The Great Fables Crossover

Whenever I'm called to write a review of Fables or Jack of Fables, I usually just say it's a great book that everyone should be reading without giving much more detail than that.

Today, I'm going to talk about the world of Fables, the concept behind both books and talk a little bit about the recent Great Fables Crossover.



Imagine that every story is true. Imagine that every tale, no matter how tall, is history in places that are both a long time ago and far far away. Imagine that every person who ever existed in a work of fiction is a real person on some other plane of reality.

Now imagine that there is a force of unspeakable evil - one that unites all the other various forces of darkness under one banner and organizes them into an army of darkness the likes of which has never been seen. Imagine that all of these beings - to our minds fictional and in many cases impossible - flee to our world seeking sanctuary against what they now call The Adversary. These beings are Fables. And the world they flee to is our own.

About 400 Years after this occurs is where we first walk into the world of Fables. Where most of these beings who can pass for Human, such as Snow White and Little Boy Blue, live along several city blocks of New York City in an area collectively known as Fabletown. Those who cannot pass for human, such as The Three Bears or The Dish that ran away with The Spoon, live on The Animal Farm - a magically hidden area in upstate New York.

Human or no, most Fables all share a degree of superhuman invulnerability to ordinary weaponry along with whatever magical talents of their own they might have. They can shrug off injuries that would hurt a normal human or animal and even death can only delay the most powerful of them. The Fables theorize this is due to a symbiotic relationship with humanity (or The Mundanes, as they call us), where the more popular a Fable is, the harder it is for them to be killed off so long as humanity remembers them. They have no proof of this but it does fit the evidence at hand.

As the series opens, we are presented with a murder mystery as Rose Red turns up dead. Sheriff Bigby Wolf (gedit?) is quickly on the case, sniffing out clues amongst the numerous suspects. Did estranged sister Snow White get fed up with how her wild sister was ruining their good family name? Did boyfriend and small-time crook Jack Horner (a.k.a. Jack Nimble, a.k.a. Jack Frost, a.k.a Jack O'Lantern) decide to go after bigger stakes than giant-killing and castle-robbing? Did Prince Charming decide to do something about the red-hot redhead, after his affair with her destroyed his marriage? And what about the rumors of a secret engagement to the wealthy Mr. Bluebeard - could he have returned to his old ways and been unable to wait for the wedding night?

The first issue is available for free on the Vertigo Comics website.

Fables has proved to be a critical success, with the book winning multiple Eisner Awards for interior art, covers and writing. It has also been a smash-hit with the fans, being perhaps the most popular series Vertigo Comics has published since The Sandman at its' height. A spin-off was perhaps inevitable under these circumstances so it was no surprise a few years ago when Jack of Fables started.

This book centers upon Jack Horner after his exile from Fabletown in, following an incident involving some stolen treasure, a movie studio and a trilogy of films based on Jack's life. Stripped of his fortune, his name and everything save the clothes on his back and a briefcase full of a cool million in cash, Jack hits the road looking for another adventure. Adventure finds him in the form of a gorgeous redhead, who captures Jack and takes him to a sort of rest home for wandering Fables. Overseen by the orderly Mr. Revise, Jack immediately plans escape and we eventually find out that Mr. Revise and his daughters, The Page Sisters, represent a third faction between The Fables and The Adversary - a group of beings called The Literals.

Literals are living personifications of the elements of a story, similar to The Endless from The Sandman. If the Fables can be said to be characters in a story, the Literals are the parts of the story. The major difference between a Literal and a Fable is that Literals are aware that they are part of a bigger story and can see the readers whereas The Fables do not. The Literals also appear to be more bound toward duty and filling a role in the universe as opposed to the relatively free Fables.

The Fourth Wall. The Deus Ex Machina. Even the various genres of literature are living people, with Comedy looking something like Groucho Marx and Horror looking like an innocent little girl in a pink dress.

The first issue of Jack of Fables is also available for free on the Vertigo Comics website.

The Great Fables Crossover is the first effort to tell a continuing storyline between these two series as well as a three-part mini-series called The Literals. The story starts in Jack of Fables, with Jack having just formed an uneasy alliance with Revise and his team, in the face of a much bigger threat. In this case, Revise's father Kevin Thorn (a.k.a. The Spirit of Creation) has remembered who he is and is now in serious danger of rewriting the universe to "fix" things.

Jack, who has bigger things to worry about (i.e. getting laid and getting out of there) calls Snow White and Bigby Wolf to warn them and "get someone else besides me to solve all the world's problems for a change". (His words, not ours) Eventually they show up, a fist-fight breaks out and Jack abandons his own title in favor of swinging by The Animal Farm just in time to be declared the second-coming of a recently fallen hero and the Messiah of the Fables. And then Jack's bastard son (who is much less of a bastard than his father) shows up...

All of these are long stories that I can't begin to tell, for fear of depriving you of some of the best reading you will ever see in your life.


The Great Fables Crossover is more of the same quality comics we've come to expect of Bill Willingham, Matthew Sturges, Mark Buckingham, Russ Braun, Tony Akins and company. Give the previews above a look-see and start catching up. I suspect you'll be hooked immediately by this wonderful little book that dares ask us all to just imagine.

Two Weeks Of Comic Reviews

Because I just didn't feel like writing this past week.



CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #10 - So, Conan? Do you think this month's issue of your comic was a good one?





No. No, sir you do not.

The adaptation of Robert Howard's Black Colossus continues and remains true to the spirit of that classic tale. Truman borrows quite a bit from Howard's dialogue and scenario, but does get in his own original work as he explains precisely why Conan was wandering the streets when he is discovered by the queen, who was told to hand command of her armies over to the first man she met in the street that night.

The artwork by Thomas Giorello is excellent and has grown on me to the point that I think I'm beginning to like his work slightly more than Cary Nord on the original Dark Horse Conan series.


DETECTIVE COMICS #853 - The long-awaited conclusion to Neil Gaiman's Batman story.

How is it? Well, that depends entirely upon your tolerance for Neil Gaiman and - at the same time - Grant Morrison. Because this issue manages to simultaneously be a fairly typical Gaiman story about the power of stories and a perfect continuation of Bruce's fate following Morrison's Final Crisis.

On one level, it is an examination of the concept of the death of Batman through the eyes of many characters, which concludes that the details of how Batman dies are unimportant. What matters is that the only way Batman's story can ever end is WITH the death of Batman since, by definition, the main defining characteristic of Batman is cannot ever give up his quest for justice except in the face of the ultimate ending. And yet, because the concept of Batman is so powerful, he cannot ever truly die.

On the other level, this issue does go along neatly with the how Bruce was killed in Final Crisis and the idea of The Omega Sanction, which traps the person targeted in a series of alternate realities, each worse than the previous one. Most of the realities we see are indeed worse than the main DC Comics universe and we do see Bruce being reborn.

All in all, I recommend this story to all but those who would say "Oh... it's Neil Gaiman telling another story about stories!" It is that... but so much more as well. If nothing else, the end works as a neat little tribute to Goodnight Moon.


EX MACHINA #41 - Things seem to be going into the home-stretch for the final run of the book, with Mayor Hundred setting a dangerous gamble going into the final year of his administration to leave the city forever if he can't fix the budget. Journal and Kremlin step up their plans to bring down Hundred's administration before then. And it looks as if The Great Machine's arch-enemy has returned. Nothing but set-up this time around but it looks like it's setting up one hell of an ending. I'll be sorry to see this book go.


GREEN LANTERN #40 - Okay. Time for a War of Light update.

* Former Green Lantern baddie, turned Sinestro Corps member turned Star Sapphire Corps member Fatality is out looking for John Stewart. Probably to apologize for holding a grudge about his failure to save her home planet from blowing up.

* Scar, the injured female Guardian, appears to be going more and more unbalanced. This is no surprise to those of us who read the Black Lantern back-up stories a few months ago, which she narrated as she discussed the dead loved ones of various DC Comics Heroes.

* Hal still can't get the blue ring off his hand and hoping for World Peace isn't good enough. :)

* Orange Lanterns are created when a sentient being is killed or otherwise absorbed by an Orange Lantern projection. They are then transformed into a being of orange energy, controlled directly by Agent Orange.

* Orange Lanterns appear to have the ability to absorb/devour the energy output by Green Lanterns. Even the Guardians cannot harm them directly. For some reason, this ability doesn't seem to apply to the energy of Blue Lantern rings.

It's getting heated.


HELLBLAZER #254 - I can't say I'm really enjoying Peter Mulligan's run on the book so far. It's not that it's bad, persay. But it does seem like he's trying a bit too hard to be Jamie Delano.

This story briefly continues the thread from last issue with John's latest romance blowing up in his face, intermingling with a colleague of John's asking him to use his mojo to disrupt the plans of the rich-pricks remodeling London for the 2012 Olympics. There's also flashbacks to a possible ancestor of John's, who is faced with the prospect of whoring out his daughter to escape a plague-filled London or making a literal deal with the devil.

This is all very interesting, but the flashback doesn't seem to be connected at all to the main story with John and it seems to be a slippery slope giving us a flashback without a more direct connection in a two-part story. Delano and Ennis did this sort of thing quite often and to good effect but they usually limited such stories to one issue and never cheapened themselves as to make confusion the main impetus for buying a second issue.

The art by Goran Sudzuka is crisper and cleaner than I'm used to seeing the art in Hellblazer be. In fact, I think this may well be the "brightest" the book has ever looked. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Nice as the art looks. it just seems right to me that Hellblazer should be dark as anything with more shadows than color in the artwork.


JACK OF FABLES #33 - The plot thickens with Jack's bastard son by The Winter Queen (who has now become Jack Frost somehow) leaving home to seek his long-lost father. Babe the Blue Ox dreams of being a Conan expy named Brom Wilderhart. And Jack, fed up with having to deal with Bigby Wolf for five minutes, declares that he is quitting the book, going back to Fables and taking the artist with him. Not a good time to jump onto Fables, but an enjoyable story that shows why this is the best book on the market today... along with the other two Fables books that are out now.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #32 - Well, I finally dropped this book. I just don't have the patience to wait around while DC Editorial gets their act together and gives Dwayne McDuffie to write the same kind of stories he did when he was writing Justice League Unlimited. The entire JLA idea has been put on hold because of all the A-List heroes being busy elsewhere and the Justice League concept being put in the hands of James Robinson for a mini-series.

Even as a James Robinson fan who has really been looking forward to the new Justice League, I think that stinks. But what really stinks is that Dinah Lance continues to get no respect.

This issue opened with Superman questioning her decision to shut down the Justice League of America rather than compete with Ollie and Hal's scab team. While I think Dinah acquits herself well with the argument (i.e. "you think it's okay for ME to be the leader when you, Diana and Bruce need time off?" and "the resources to unite everyone for big problems are still there - there's just no team meetings on the satellite"), it doesn't say a lot that everyone else on the team is defying her orders and continuing to meet without her. And even though they refuse to elect a new team leader and John Stewart gets a page-long speech where he explains why Dinah is the best leader the JLA ever had and the main reason he refuses to take a leadership post is because it will make it a lot easier to convince Dinah to come back if nobody is actively replacing her, it doesn't ring true.

The last few months have been like asking a gourmet chef to make you a sloppy joe and DC needs to get its' act together and free McDuuffie up to do something like - oh, I don't know - a monthly Static book?


THE LITERALS #1 - A very funny issue in which we learn a little more about Kevin Thorn and the rest of the Literals family as he goes looking for a muse as he plans to rewrite the whole world. I love this if only for the fact that Comedy is Groucho Marx with a goatee.

"If it's a muse you want, I'm the guy to ask. I've got enough good material to amuse you all day!"

I think Comedy is probably the ones pulling the strings on this story already. Because at the end of the issue, in the greatest literal pun of all time, Kevin Thorn makes a monkey out of Bigby Wolf.


RED SONJA #43 - Horrible. Just horrible.

Granting that Red Sonja has always lent herself well to cheesecake portrayals (something too many of the covers have been devoted to), the various artists working the interiors of the book had been fairly good about not going overboard on this sort of faked posing.

No more, I'm sad to say. Nearly every page of this book seems to be a splash-page and we get more up-skirt shots of Sonja (if the phrase "up-skirt" can be applied to a chainmail breechcloth) in this issue than in the other 42 issues before combined. Still, I guess we can say we now know the answer to just what Sonja wears under her armor... even though the answer (leather short shorts) doesn't make a lick of sense.

Throw in the visions of the inner form of the Cthulhu-like beastie who Sonja is fighting (four-words; green-haired Lady Godiva) and you have a lot of flash with no substance at all.


WONDER WOMAN #31 - Much has said about how, to paraphrase Kingdom Come, the minute you make The Super more important than The Man, you lose what is most important. Oddly, I don't think anyone has ever applied this same sentiment to emphasizing The Wonder over The Woman.

I mention this, because in one panel Gail Simone has managed to ground Diana and make her seem like a real person and less like an imaginary goddess. And suddenly, she's a lot more interesting and likable for it.





Is this a little silly? Yes. But it's just so overwhelmingly refreshing to see a Wonder Woman who is allowed to make jokes, ogle her boyfriend and not be The Perfect Princess or The Amazon 24/7 that I like the idea. And the more I think about it, the more it seems right in the same way that Superman is more Martha Kent's boy than the Last Son of Krypton is right.

Don't worry though - there's still plenty of Wonder in this issue, including Diana punching a missile, a ton of Spartans on winged horses storming the UN and the return of Ares and Athena. Oh, and we finally get an answer on just who this crazy Genocide woman is and we get to see a use of the power of the Gods that truly makes sense in the contents of how the Greek Gods did operate and - in fact - probably WOULD operate in the DC Universe.

I gush on the writing but I should mention that the art is very good too. Great book - highly recommended.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 3/25/09

And The Rest...



CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #9 - First of all, let me say how happy I am to see Joseph Michael Linsner doing the covers instead of Frank Cho. Amazingly, given Linsner's skill with drawing beautiful, voluptuous women and reputation as a cheesecake artist first and foremost, he has not descended into the depths of fan-service that Cho did in his capacity as a cover artist for this title. Good on you sir!

Things continue on much as they did from the last issue, with Conan continuing to adjust to life as a soldier and getting a Klingon Promotion to an officer position with the front-line troops who usually suffer the heaviest losses. Naturally this suits Conan just fine.

This issue - as with the one before - is setting the ground for an adaptation of the classic Robert Howard story Black Colossus. So far things are looking very promising and I can't wait until the next issue, when we will hopefully get to see one of my favorite moments in the entire Conan mythos portrayed.


KULL #5 - A week late but I finally got it. And I want this as a regular series to go alongside Conan.

Kull often gets accused of being a proto-Conan. But while Howard did revise his last unsold Kull story ("By This Axe, I Rule!") into his very first Conan tale ("The Phoenix On The Sword"), the two were remarkably different heroes and two very different kings. While Conan gives only a cursory interest to the matters of civilization after his ascension to the throne, Kull throws himself into truly understanding every aspect of the new world he has entered into. Kull believes there are things he does not understand and must strive to do so, even as he strives to temper his warlike nature. Conan, on the other hand, is more than willing to reduce that which he does not understand to a simpler level - by the point of a sword if necessary.

I can say little about this story, save that coming as it does as a continuation of a classic Kull story it does an admirable job of fitting the Howard style and that I will be sorry to see it go next month.


JACK OF FABLES #32 - More aftermath from the destruction of Mister Revise's concentration camp for Fables and a number of disturbing revelations. The least disturbing of which is the fact that Jack is apparently the bastard son of Prince Charming and a half-literal. Who is the mom? Well, that would be telling and giving away the most glorious joke in the whole book. I've said it before and I'll say it again - if you aren't reading this book by now, you should be.


WONDER WOMAN #30 - THIS is the issue of Wonder Woman we were all waiting for when it was announced that Gail Simone was taking over the book. Because this issue, more than anything that has been done with the character in Simone's run - or indeed, any Wonder Woman story I've ever read - has established just how awesome a character Wonder Woman is and how utterly badass (for lack of a better word) she should be portrayed as being.

It all comes down to one four-page spread in which Diana...

1) arrives on the doorstep of a Secret Society of Supervillains hideout in Gotham City.

2) takes out a tank waiting for her in the lobby by throwing the front door at it

3) causes Felix Faust, upon witnessing this, to declare "I'm out" before he teleports away from the building as quickly as possible. Let me say that again: the sight of an angry Wonder Woman terrified a man who deals with demons on a regular basis.

4) takes down Shrapnel - a man of living scrap metal - in about five seconds

5) causes Phobia - a woman with the power to cause others to hallucinate their worst fears as reality - to have a panic attack without even touching her.

6) apologizes to T.O. Morrow for the damage to the building, as he whines that he built it to withstand a nuclear blast... just before throwing a scrap of metal INTO the wall next to Morrow noting "You might want this back then. I think it was the steering wheel."

More please. :)

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 2/25/09

CONAN THE CIMMERIAN #8 - A new story arc begins and no more stories of Conan's grandfather. We begin with a gorgeously illustrated retelling of the first chapter of Howard's Black Colossus and continue on to Conan's first time joining an army. Lots of good character moments here, including Conan righting a toppled statue of Mitra - not out of worship or respect but practicality.

Line Of The Issue: "Conan feared no god but Crom. Still, why tempt the ire of another... especially in that god's land?"


GREEN LANTERN #38 - Lots going on here, most of it tying into the War of Light. For those of you keeping score at home...

* A newly single Carol Ferris, while trying to get a hold of Hal, is once again ensnared by the Star Sapphire, becoming one of several Star Sapphire agents for the Zamarons now backing the Violet Lantern Corps of Love.

* Hal Jordan - after being enslaved by the power of a Red Lantern Ring, is able to make projections of red fire. Something that none of the other Red Lanterns were capable of.

* The Blue Lanterns have one rather huge weakness. Their rings only work so long as they have an active Green Lantern to piggy-back off of. So once Hal goes over to the Red Side... poof for the Blue Lanterns.

* Slapping a Blue Lantern Ring on someone wearing a Red Lantern Ring can burn out the Red Ring and restore the person's mind... but Hal is now stuck in some kind of weird power-feedback loop from wearing Blue and Green rings at the same time.

* Sinestro escaped to Qward in the middle of the fight between the Blue Lanterns and the Red Lanterns. He is aware of Mongul's attempts to rebuild The Yellow Lantern Fear Corps on Daxam and plans to fight him for control of the Corps... as soon as he attends to "a family matter" on his home world, which he must tend to immediately thanks to Atrocitus, the Red Lantern leader.

* Though we haven't seen them in any stories yet, John Stewart will apparently be the first to fight The Orange Lanterns of Greed.

So yeah... great stuff!

Line Of The Issue: "Hope is nothing without the Willpower to enact it."


JACK OF FABLES #31 - Wow. Just... wow.

Line Of The Week: "I'd love to say I had some happy memories of the place. But I only had sex there seven times. And aside from the tacos, the food was uniformly terrible. Still, all in all, I DID have sex there seven times. So I guess it wasn't such a bad place."


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #148 - Things continue to build toward Issue #150 as pressure builds on several fronts. Bob has lost his character and Brian is already plotting on how to exploit the loss to his own advantage. The Blackhands continue their disastrous Cattlepunk game. And the riots at Hard 8 over the "new and improved" editon of Hackmaster are quelled... but one staff member may be ready to make the ultimate act of betrayal for the love of the game.

Line Of The Week: "Ya know - when you're driving a thousand head of cattle a thousand miles... Probably not a good idea to DRIVE THEM ON FOOT!!!"


WONDER WOMAN #29 - There's STILL a lot about this book that confuses me. How Cheetah is now almost as fast as The Flash. Why Donna Troy just freaked out and abandoned Diana in mid-fight. And who the hell this new villain Genocide is... or what she is. On the other hand, this comic does feature a one-on-one battle between Ancient Greek God of Thunder and Lightning Zeus and Hawaiian God Of The Heavens, Kāne Milohai... so the parts that confuse me are balanced out by the purely awesome god battle. So yeah... take that for what you will.

Line Of The Issue: "You may give birth to the thunder and lightning, Zeus. But their canvas is mine. And the heavens have fire, as well."

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 1/28/09

Since I had a snow day from work today and since things were good and melted by the time the comic shop opened... a rare Wednesday update!



JACK OF FABLES #30 - I agree with Jack - not nearly enough of him in this comic. Still, I can forgive it for the sight of Paul Bunyan doing battle with a sentient giant library.


SHEENA: DARK RISING #3 - A woman in a leopard-print bikini doing battle with Nazis should not be this dull nor so poorly illustrated. At least it avoids the cheesecake extremes of Jungle Girl but would it kill them to use an artist who had access to an anatomy textbook, if not a formal education in how bodies should look? Every single page of this comic looks like a preliminary sketch.


WONDER WOMAN #28 - The fight continues against Genocide and we are told about how very bad it is that said creature has Diana's lasso. Ho hum. Despite this, we get to see Black Canary being a competent leader AND fighter. Sad that this should happen during a guest-shot in Wonder Woman rather than in her own comic but I'll take what I can get at this point.

The real meat of the issue takes place in the "smaller" scenes, where we find out that Cheetah is somehow behind Sarge Steel's madness and we learn more of Zeus' plans for the all new, all-male Amazon clan and their plans to end war... by killing all of the warriors.

Still, good choice for Jason to be the leader of the new Manazons. He's a Greek Hero, a leader of men, a clever and resourceful king and a brazen jackass whose sons were killed because he wanted to ditch the woman who betrayed her family to help him get The Golden Fleece and then decided to dump her for a trophy wife.

Fast Thoughts - The Weeks of 1/2/09 & 1/7/09

I would have posted last week's sooner but a massive head cold/sinus infection has waylaid me. But since the Nyquil is - for the moment - keeping my brain from oozing out my nose, let's talk comics.



BATMAN: CACOPHONY #2 - It occurs to me reading this that Kevin Smith writes a better "Frank Miller's Batman" than Frank Miller. As far as characterization goes, everything here reads like Dark Knight Returns. Alfred is a sarcastic kvetcher ("But a normal person such as yourself, sir... and I use the term ''normal'' VERY loosely..."), Joker is an over-the-top drama queen and Batman? Batman is a cypher who reveals more in his internal monologue than he ever does in his own words.

I believe this is why so many fans are revolting against this story apart from the usual Kevin Smith fanboy "Oh god I wish I was being paid to be a geek and had a hot wife like you" envy. Because thanks to All-Star Batman and Robin, reading anything that is reminiscent of Frank Miller is enough to set off your average Bat-Fan.

The Batman fans right now crave seriousness after the last few years of Grant Morrison insanity. They want something dark and intense and above all else serious. Because then they might be forced to acknowledge that Batman, as a character, IS really silly if you think about it. Well, as Joker says in a note left for Batman in this issue, "Eat it, Emo Boy!" This is a gloriously silly Batman story that isn't afraid to not take things seriously. And thank you for it, Mr. Smith.


DOCTOR WHO: THE FORGOTTEN #5 - More flashbacks - this time with us seeing how the 8th Doctor may have gone on to destroy his own race in an effort to stop the Daleks (for all the good it did him) and the 9th Doctor arranging a very special football game on Christmas Day in the British and German trenches during WWI.

There's a lot of in-jokes for the Whovians, of course... with a reference to how much Captain Harkness (who always seems to keep getting hurt and healing miraculously) would have loved the football game between warring factions on a day of peace as well as the 8th Doctor's cell-mate being of the same race of The Master's assistant in Utopia. And they finally explain away the 8th Doctor's claims to be half-human in the infamously bad, Fox Studios made Doctor Who made-for-TV movie.

That being said, I'm nervous about the ending and what it suggests if the bad guy behind all of this IS who he seems to be; the completely human Tenth Doctor clone from the end of Season 4, who wants to take what lives remain to the original Doctor and become a real Time Lord) I doubt he is because nothing in this series has been what it seems to be, so far. But we will see.


GREEN LANTERN #36 - So for those keeping track of the drama of the multiple-colors Corps and those who are just interested in the apparent functions of the different kinds of rings, here's a quick bullet list.

* The Red Lanterns have captured Sinestro, with their leader - Atrocitius - determined to have Sinestro acknowledge the weakness of fear as a power source before the power of Rage, which he has mastered. Given that he has to growl at his own Corps Members - most of them taken from the victims of the Sinstero Corps - I think he has a rather weak case.

* Blue Lanterns have an emotional aura which has the effect of super-charging any other color ring within range, so long as that Lantern hopes for the well-being of the other ring-bearer. In other words, as long as Saint Walker (the first Blue Lantern we meet) focuses on Hal, Hal's ring runs at 210% of it's maximum charge.

* Blue Lantern constructs are shaped by the target, not the ring-wielder. In this case, while attempting to calm an anger-dominated John Stewart, St. Walker created an image of John's dead wife Katma and "doused the corruption of the Red Flame by providing a glimmer of hope."

* Blue Lanterns are also able to negate the corrupting influence of other rings, as in the example above.

* The Blue Lanterns are based on Odym - a planet which orbits Polaris (i.e. The North Star)

* At present, there are only two Blue Lanterns - the process required to find someone who truly believes in the power of Hope and wield it safely taking days, at least.

* The Blue Lantern Oath.



In Fearful Day
In Raging Night
With Strong Hearts Full
Our Souls Ignite

When All Seems Lost
In The War Of Light
Look To The Stars
For Hope Burns Bright!




* Ganthet says that both Hal and Sinestro will have a bigger part in what is to come than either realizes and that the Blue Lanterns were created to aid the Green Lanterns in the coming battle. He also wants Hal to join the Blue Lanterns as their field commander.

* Fatality - the serial-killer of Green Lanterns we last saw among The Sinstero Corps some months back - was apparently captured by The Star Sapphires, put on pink ice for a while and emerges from her "conversion" in this issue as a love-empowered Star Sapphire. Her first action? Track down John Stewart (i.e. the Green Lantern indirectly responsible for her home world's destruction). I don't think she's going to give him a kiss...

* Two Blue Lanterns together are capable of renewing the life cycle of a sun about to go supernova. This causes the sun to turn blue (the color of most "young stars") and also serves as one more beacon of the Blue Lanterns power.

* Blue Lanterns can also power their rings by using the hopes of ambient hope or anyone within their aura. In this case, the Blue Lanterns used the power of 300 million people desperate for a miracle to de-age a sun.

* For some reason, the Blue Lantern rings generate some kind of interference that negates the tele-comm functions of a Green Lantern ring, convienently keeping Hal from calling for back-up or even placing a "Guys! These blue dudes are cool!" phone-call to John Stewart.


JACK OF FABLES #29 - Not much to say except that, yes, yes, yes... as promised in the last issue, Jack did eat tacos. And with the promises of more taco-eating in the next issue, this is shaping up to be one happy comic for those in the taco obsessed fanboy community.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #28 - Dwayne McDuffie obviously had a blast with this issue - pitting his own creations against the Justice League as Icon and Superman discuss - out of view of their respective teams - talk things over reasonably. I haven't had much chance to read a lot of the Milestone Comics series but I'm thinking it's something I need to track down now.


KULL #2 & #3 - Somehow I missed the 2nd issue of this mini-series last month. Luckily my comic-shop still had some when Issue 3 came out this week.

The series appears to have taken a slight turn, beginning with an original Kull tale set shortly after he assumes the throne and now turning into a very good adaptation of Robert Howard's story The Shadow Kingdom - which also details some of the events that pass shortly after Kull's ascension. Howard fans should be pleased with this comic as should any Conan fan who has not yet been exposed to the world of Howard's less-famous but no less enjoyable barbarian king.


SECRET SIX #5 - It's hard to say which part of this comic is the most enjoyable.

* Deadshot's internal monologue while dealing with poison passing through his system and his fears that he might be monologuing out-loud.

* Deadshot's later internal monologue as to why he puts up with The Six when they are "worse than The Suicide Squad and a damn sight less organized."

* Bane proving he is the baddest of bad asses by being repeatedly hit in the chest with bricks and correcting his captors as to how many bricks have been thrown when "Junior" loses count.

* The rather twisted revelation at the end as to the identity of "Junior" and how precisely they relate to Ragdoll.

If you're a fan of the old Suicide Squad series, this book should be a must-read for you, if only for the Deadshot moments.

And this month's best Ragdoll Line Guarantees To Make You Uncomfortable is... as Cheshire is thrown through a window and into their suite, "Oh look. They even have flying prostitutes. That's service for you."

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 11/26/08 & 12/4/08

The week of Thanksgiving, all the comics I got were for my girlfriend. This week, all the comics I got were for me. Kinda funny, that.



BIRDS OF PREY #124 -

Line Of The Issue: "Hear that sound? That's Black Canary's motorcycle. Six other pissed-off heroes are right behidn her and about to walk in. Wanna show them too?" - Misfit, to The Joker, after being told that he just killed Barbara and asking "Wanna see?"

Fans of Barbara Gordon and all other Bat-fans take note - this is a must-have issue. I've ragged a bit on Tony Bedard - justifiably, most think - for some of the stupid, over-the-top villains presented as part of the ruling class of techie town Platinum Flats. But I can forgive all of that for the moment in which Barbara Gordon manages to get back at The Joker in the perfect fashion. Highlight the text below if you really want to know...

Barbara smacks The Joker in the teeth with an escrima stick, breaking most of his teeth and ruining his famous smile. Eye for an eye, tooth for a leg justice at its' best. And while Joker has kidnapped a dental surgeon and had his teeth repaired in the issue denouement and the only thing that saved Barbara from being killed after that was the timely intervention of The Birds, I still count it as a moral victory. Barbara, for better or worse, embraced her physical changes and refused to become a victim whereas The Joker couldn't deal with the effect of a physical assault changing who he was and went out of his way to put things back to normal while denying the original attack. In the end, Barbara proved she was stronger than The Joker.

Given BoP's cancellation, this panel seems oddly bittersweet.

It's okay, Dinah. You've got a writer who will actually let you do stuff in your own book again starting next week!


DOCTOR WHO: THE FORGOTTEN #4 -

Line Of The Issue: "The problem with non-intervention is that someone always ignores it." - The Seventh Doctor

At last - it all gets explained. Well, sort of. There's still a lot up in the air but at least most of the inaccuracies and inconsistencies I noticed before have been explained away with one revelation. Highlight for the spoiler.

The Doctor isn't really trapped in a museum devoted to him but is under some form of psychic attack by the same bug creature that attacked Donna in the 4th Season episode "Turn Left". All the inaccurate things from before - Martha calling herself a doctor when she hadn't become one yet and the phrase "There's something on your back" sounding familiar when The Doctor didn't hear that said until after Martha stopped traveling with him among them - were hints that something is up and The Doctor is trying to stop his memories from being erased using the Museum mind-scape as a battle ground.

As before, the highlight of the issue is the flash-backs with older incarnations of The Doctor. While this issue's flashbacks aren't quite as execiting to me as last issue, I'd put that down to my loathing of The 6th Doctor and my unfamiliarity with the 7th rather than any fault with the stories themselves. The 6th Doctor is every bit the blustering loud-mouthed con-man he should be though the 7th Doctor seems oddly subdued given what I know of the character. Still, should be an interesting read when we get to the virtually unknown 8th Doctor in the next issue and return to the Christopher Eccleston days as well.


JACK OF FABLES #28 -

Line Of The Issue: Next: I eat some tacos. Oh, and I win the war, then everyone stands around for three issues telling me how fantastic I am as they give me more medals. Oh, and in the issue after that? All three of them -- at once.

Still the funniest damn book on the market, bar none. Not much else to say.

This one is for an old friend - a simple man of simple wants, who, like Jack, dreams of being able to tell attractive women to fix him tacos and wait for him at his place.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #145 -

Line Of The Issue: "No need to Bob... He umm... inserted it (Bob's severed arm) into your, um, body for easy "carry-all retrieval". - Sara, retrieving a fallen party member's body, after being reminded to be sure to get his severed arm as well after a an ape attack.

The plot thickens in the Hard 8 offices with Waco Bob joining Jo Jo Zeke in quitting his job. And in the Knights campaign, their past continues to haunt them as they find out the helpful villagers caring for them are cultists of a thief god religion started by one of Bob's old characters.

And yes - the replacement movie column for Spoony's "Gamer's Rant" STILL sucks. This month "Gaming The Movies" instructs you on how to spice up your Car Wars campaign the bargain-bin DVD in the making "Death Race". That's assuming, of course, you still have a copy of the 1982 RPG around and are willing to sit through a movie that has less plot than most video games these days. Of course that's probably a given if you're one of the people who kept trolling Jolly Blackburn into firing The Spoony One.

Mr. Blackburn - I know you probably can't bring Noah back. But couldn't you at least replace his column with a gamer movie column that is funny?


SHEENA: QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE - DARK RISING #2 -

Line Of The Issue: "Curious you did not object when MY garments were taken, Bob Kellerman." - Sheena, to her environmentalist sidekick, as he is forcibly stripped by cannibals.

Query - is it fan service when your attractive female lead is stripped of everything save her jewelry and a few strategically replaced floral leis for reasons which are, at best, ambiguously related to the plot, if...

1) her male companions receive the same treatment.
2) there are no gratuitously posed shots or splash-pages during the entire scene she is effectively naked.
3) the one part where her lei slips and you see a flash of butt crack, is illustrated in a long shot and there's nothing sexual about the moment.

I find myself torn in considering this question. Because there's very little reason for Sheena to go through with this plan where she allows herself and her companions to be captured without fighting by a group of Nazi-worshiping cargo-cultist cannibals in order to buy them time while awaiting the collapse of a dam she thinks is coming other than to allow for a cheesecake scene where Sheena (and her companions) are stripped down to nothing, prepared and then tied up basically naked over a hot fire.

And yet, despite this contrivance, the artwork doesn't even approach the cheesecake-ridden excesses reveled in by other books starring blonde jungle goddesses. Sheena is depicted as being competent and in-control the whole time - not a helpless piece of eye candy by any stretch of the imagination,

That, along with the brilliant plotting, wonderful comedic timing and characterization which makes plans like this seem feasible is all I need to recommend this book to any comic book reader. Thank goodness that at least one of Will Eisner's creations is in the hands of a writer who know how to uphold his legacy and write a heroine who can be sexy without being trashy.


WONDER WOMAN #26 -

Line Of The Issue: "I gave you an order, soldier. You were to observe the saboteurs, not screw around with them on some *%##$ magic clam shell." - Director Steel, to Nemesis, regarding a photo of him and "enemy of the state" Wonder Woman.

Could somebody who has been reading all the New Gods books and everything connecting Amazons Attack explain something to me, please?

It was my understanding that The New Gods had taken the Olympian Pantheon hostage and that their apparent absence and abandonment of The Amazons in their time of need was what spurred Diana to abandon her position as champion of the Olympian Gods and start seeking favors from a South Seas deity. And I can swing with that.

Explain to me then why the Olympian Gods are now returning home after having apparently been cruising around deep space - IN A FREAKING SPACESHIP - and are curious as to why their home is trashed and they can't seem to remember who they are/were? And apparently Athena is now about to die since she used the last of her power to make the last of their champions (I assume that's Diana) immortal again.

I suspect all will be explained shortly but I'm still very confused.

Not-So-Fast Thoughts - Comic Reviews for 10/29/08 and 11/05/08

Between things going on Halloween and this past weekend - which was, amazingly enough NOT spent at Wizard World Texas - it was a while before I picked up my comics, much less read them.



FINAL CRISIS: RAGE OF THE RED LANTERNS- More of a Green Lantern tie-in than a Final Crisis one on the surface, this continues the events of The Sinestro Corps War. And not only do we get to see a mess of Red Lanterns, we also get a look at what appears to be The Controllers getting ready to establish the Orange Lanterns and the very first Blue Lantern. So... yeah. Not a good jump-in issue but a continuation of the greatness that we've come to expect from Geoff Johns.


FINAL CRISIS: RESIST - I should have known better than to buy a Greg Rucka book sight unseen... but I thought this was going to tie-in to the much more enjoyable Final Crisis: Submit. It's not that it's all that bad, really, but a bit of a tough plow for those of us who don't read Checkmate and are wondering when Snapper Carr became a teleporting secret agent. Still, for those Kirby fans who were afraid that Final Crisis would not feature EVERY crazy idea The King had while working at DC Comics, have no fear... by the end of the story, Mr. Terrific is leading an army of OMACs against the New Gods.


GIANT SIZE RED SONJA #2 - Lots of good, short stories here to enjoy. A character-defining quickie where Sonja is separated from the more traditional literary amazons by being paired up with a true man-hating psychopath... an illustrated version of Frank Thorne's famous "Red Sonja Stage Show" drawn by the man himself... and a classic "Red Sonja vs. Undead Wizard" story by Roy Thomas himself. The only one that falls flat is a very strange and very creepy story involving an angel falling to Earth, falling in love with Sonja and then screaming as he is dragged back up into the Heavens as he begs Sonja to come with him. Overall, a fine issue.


GRANT MORRISON'S DOCTOR WHO #2- A darn good read, even if this IS a Sixth Doctor story and the ending is in no way possibly in cannon. Second Doctor fans will want to check this out for the heroic end of Jamie. Grant Morrison fans will want to check it out because... well, it's a good read and rather easy to follow even with the inclusion of a shape-shifting penguin.


HELLBLAZER PRESENTS CHAS: THE KNOWLEDGE - Last issue of this mini-series came out this week. I finally got the rest of it shortly before this. And I really wish I hadn't have bothered. Don't get me wrong - Chas is a great supporting character. But even with a story centering around the Cabbies of London sitting on top of a secret that keeps a demon imprisoned in the roads of London and John completely out of the picture, save for the scenes showing just WHY he is out of the picture... Chas just doesn't hold the interest very well.

And the scenes at the end of this issue, where he extols the virtues of a simple life, ring somewhat true... the whole thing seems a bit tilted given that Chas is made out to be some sort of virtuous paragon because he refuses to cheat on his shrewish wife... even though All His Engines - a story which no less an expert than Neil Gaiman considers to be the quintessential Hellblazer story - showed Chas cheating on her easily and almost running off to America with the woman involved. Of course I'm picking nits, but that's rather a big one to pick given the popularity of the story and how relatively recent it is.


JACK OF FABLES #27 - You have to love any book where the living spirit of the Deus Ex Machina shows up to save the day and everyone is pissed off that he won't do more, because it would kill the story.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #26 - While the idea of an alternate-reality Justice League fighting to restore a reality that might erase them from time has been done before (Indeed, Dwayne McDuffie wrote The Once and Future Thing episode of Justice League Unlimited), this issue is a good one. Comic History Fans might get a chuckle out of "The Brown Bomber" - a character who seems to have been created as a parody of DC Comics' original idea of an African-American superhero before Tony Isabella slapped some sense into The Powers That Be and convinced them that a redneck who transformed into a super-powered Black man was a BAD IDEA. I'm a little confused as to where this leaves Animal Man (are his powers coming from Anansi now too?) but still... good read.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #144- The comics are good as always. The new movie column is an abomination. Seriously. Instead of the brilliant comedy and sarcastic kvetching of Noah Antwiler, we are - thanks to the whining of a few people who shouldn't be allowed to handle sharp objects - now being treated to a column that gives us gamers advice on how to "game" various geek movies for material for their role-playing games.

Because apparently there are a lot of game masters out there who have no idea rip off movies and TV Shows for game fodder who have been demanding such hot tips as "You could easily recycle some of the gangs from the movie, such as the Disco Boys, the Red Eyes or the Susies" for their comedic superhero games.

I'd protest but Jolly Blackburn and company have made it clear that they'll only listen to the hyperbolic exclamations of everyone who is willing to devote time to trolling their message boards claiming to have stopped reading the magazine rather than the people who actually buy the magazine. And I have no desire to demean myself by saying that I will no longer buy the magazine, am burning all my back issues and that I will not rest until Jim Davenport is living in a cardboard box under the freeway.


KULL #1- A new Kull the King mini-series. Soon to become a regular series? We can but hope, because this first issue - as Conan #0 did several years ago - perfectly defines Kull as a character while separating him from Robert Howard's other famous hero. Whereas Conan is a definitive man-of-action who has no problem with splitting hairs or skulls as needed, Kull is an educated warrior, trying to raise himself above his barbaric past. A must read for all fantasy fans.


RED SONJA #38 - My patience is starting to run thin with this "bold new direction", even if I am intrigued as to how they are going to end this and if/when they will return to the status quo.


SECRET SIX #3 - I'm not sure what I find more disturbing: on-the-wagon, paternally protective Bane or just-plain Ragdoll. I really wish they had found someone other than the "dear gods why has nobody killed her yet" Devin Grayson creation Tarantula to be the centerpiece of this story... but given the average mortality rate of the guest stars in this series, I figure it's only a matter of time...


SHEENA, QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE: DARK RISING #1 - The good news is that - apart from one fan-service shot while she's doing a back-flip in the middle of an action scene (unlike most rich American heiresses, Sheena DOES wear proper undergarments) - there isn't any gratuitous cheesecake artwork in THIS Jungle Girl book. The bad news is that the interior art isn't all that good. The story is as good as previous Sheen installments though, but one wishes they would find a good, steady artist and try and keep this book coming out monthly.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 9/24/08

AMBUSH BUG: YEAR ONE #3 - This is probably the most coherent issue of Ambush Bug ever. Mind you, that doesn't mean it's any less crazy or nonsensical. After all, how can you possibly apply the word sane to a story that features...

* Ambush Bug having a drunken Vegas wedding with Inferior Five member Dumb Bunny.
* Ambush Bug - in a scene that just might be a swipe at the MARVELous competition of DC Comics - attempting to make a deal with Neron to take his marriage out of continuity.




* Ambush Bug impersonating the Kryptonian God Rao while shouting into the Bottled City of Kandor.
* Darkseid singing Tom Jones in Karaoke! And an appearance of Darkseid's long-absent wife Tigra!




* Superman's pet Super-Turtle going mad and attempting to destroy the universe.
* The revelation that Arrowette was dating the Super-Turtle in an effort to get more screen time. (Say it ain't so, ! Say it ain't so!)




* Ambush Bug getting more face-time... with the severed head of Pantha!
* Ambush Bug teams up with Jerro The Merboy (He's one of Supergirl's ex-boyfriends. Seriously.)
* the introduction of the greatest new character in years: Major Spoiler of 27th Brigade Grenadiers

I demand a monthly Ambush Bug title. Because in these troubled times, we need more comics that are willing to mock the comics that need mocking.


FABLES #76 - Mike Allred artwork and Gepetto dealing with a normal day in Fabletown. Much much greatness.


JACK OF FABLES #26- For a book with Priscilla on the cover, she's barely in this issue. And considering that she's supposed to be the shy, not-popular sister... well, I guess that's meant to be ironic. But it's hard to say in a story where manifestations of literal concepts are rounding up and/or destroying manifestations of legends and the whole thing is narrated by The Fourth Wall what is ironic or not. Still... good book.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 8/27/08

AMBUSH BUG: YEAR NONE #2 - Should I even bother trying to review this title? I mean, you either hate Ambush Bug or you love it. Trying to describe the plot is pointless - there isn't one. And some of the items covered here - such as The Amber Butane Corps - are so obscure you can't even find articles about them! And it wouldn't be much fun for me to just run down a list of obscure references. Must leave Jess Nevins some work, after all. Anyway... this is a very silly book. If you like silly books, you will probably like it.


FINAL CRISIS: ROGUES REVENGE #2 - The thing I like best about Geoff Johns writing is the way he can take some of the sillier or more confusing aspects of the DCU and explain them away, simply and easily, with a throwaway sentence.

Case in point: even by the standards of super-villains, The Rogues dress funny. What's even more maddening is that they have a professional tailor who caters exclusively to the villain crowds. With just a few quick notes and one page of action, Johns explains that The Rogues go to Paul Gambi - not for his sense of style - but his practicality in design.

Yes, a blue fur eskimo suit with skier-sunglasses doesn't look very menacing... but when you're like Captain Cold and your powers involve generating Absolute Zero levels of cold and enough snow to cause permanent snow-blindness... well, suddenly a fur suit and eye-protection make a whole lot of sense. So does an insulated, water-proof costume for a weather manipulator. And so does Heatwave's bulky, ugly fire-proof suit - which proves to be the deciding factor in his battle against another fire-starter who didn't think to protect himself form his own flames.

We also get an explanation for why arch-baddie Libra should care about The Flash villains not wanting to join his gang. It's not the usual "no one refuses Doom!" shtick. No, he practically notes that The Flashes - with their ability to strike unseen and time-travel - are the biggest threat to his plans and that it is very important that he have people with extensive experience fighting Speedsters and winning most of the time on his team.

A very entertaining read. If you like stories told from the bad guys' point of view, this is a good book to pick-up.


JACK OF FABLES #25 - The 4th Wall as a narrator. Babe the Blue Ox as a friendly pirate. Jack actually proving to be every bit the ladies' man and hero he thinks he is. All this, and more hot librarian sex! It's everything you could want in a comedic Vertigo title. Well, everything I could want anyway...

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 8/6/08

JACK OF FABLES #24 - And so ends the ballad of The Jack Candle gang. Not with a bang, but a whisper. The last page is priceless and so is the description of next month's new storyline. This book should be required reading for any comics fan.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE SPECIAL - A special worthy of the name, this "nothing but the comics" issue of KODT Magazine picks up on some hints dropped in recent issues regarding an Urban Assassin LARP game while building upon the recent issues set at the KODT equivalent of Gen-Con. If you've never been exposed to the wonderful world of Knights of the Dinner Table, this is a good issue to start with. No big story lines to worry about. No cumbersome continuity. Just a bunch of quickly defined characters and a lad of paintball guns...


RED SONJA #36 - Brian Reed has one more issue to make me start caring about this new Sonja... who may be the old Sonja. Even with the revelation that the old warrior we saw last issue is an aged Osin and the question as to who the "old man" tormenting Osin is still there... the tone here is a radical shift from what has come before and the scripts reek of padding with too many pages being devoted to Sonja's shipwreck and her splash-page decorated breakdown. I fear this may be decompressed to an insane degree - something which is disastrous in most superhero books but may be suicidal in a sword-and-sorcery epic like Red Sonja.


SUPER STUPOR #1 - My friend Patrick was kind enough to pick this up for me at the San Diego Comic Con from another friend - Something Positive author R.K. Milholland.

I've plugged Randy's work before and he hardly needs my help to sell it. Still, I'll refrain from a full review and limit my comments to saying that I enjoyed this book. You'll probably enjoy it yourself if you're a fan of the Giffen/DeMatthias Justice Leauge or The Tick.

Check out the on-line comic for yourself before you decide if it's worth $4.95 American to see a story centered around a superhero convention (It totally is though!)

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 6/18/08 and 6/25/08

Just now got my comics. Partly due to busy work stuff and partly due to my birthday festivities last weekend.




BIRDS OF PREY #119: I know a few months ago I was wishing that Tony Bedard was writing this book. Now I'm starting to think that I should have been careful what I wished for.

Oh, don't get me wrong - there's a LOT to admire in this issue. Bedard is trying to set The Birds up on their own, taking them out of the Shadow of The Bat AND The S-Shield and - at the same time - positioning them in such a way that they can easily reabsorb Black Canary into the fold and into this book, where she belongs. There's a lot of seeds being planted, from the mysterious Visionary behind Platinum Flats to Oracle's manipulation of The Calculator. And who doesn't like seeing Manhunter at work?

Still, there's a lot of things about the issue that make me uncomfortable and worried. For one thing, The Visionary isn't an inspiring crime-lord ala The Kingpin or even Blockbuster from Chuck Dixon's 'Nightwing'. I'm also worried that they're pressing forward with the cliched "two people can't stand each other, so their obviously long-lost siblings" storyline between Misfit and Black Alice. And then there's the unanswered question as to just why Oracle has Manhunter tailing Black Canary and Green Arrow in the first place and how any reason other than the obvious - Babs is checking up on the best friend she never gets to talk to anymore -

The artwork inside the book is pretty good, though the cover... with yet another Dinah's costume is coming unzipped cleavage shot - is horrible beyond words.


CONAN OF CIMMERIA #0: A nice, basic story based around Conan's slaughter of several Vanir warriors and Robert Howard's poem Cimmeria, this issue is both a look back - in flashback paintings - of the 51 comics that came before and an introduction to the character of Conan for those who have yet to be exposed to the character through books, movies, comics or video games. We see that Conan is a man of action, but also a man of principal and compassion as he spares a younger man with a lyre, forced into combat, and urges him to go home "sing of this day... and of how Conan slew your kin." Those this reboot to a new title with a new #1 may be pointless, this comic isn't and I'll be surprised if it doesn't get an Eisner nod like Conan #0 before it did.


EX MACHINA #37: Again, regarding the pink-leather clad, conservative fighting bad girl who is now making many Republicans uncomfortable and - by proxy - Mitchell Hundred's life more difficult... I think I'm in love with a fictional character. Again.


FINAL CRISIS #2: I've decided to write all my comments on Final Crisis as separate posts from now on. Look for that later today.


GREEN LANTERN #32: The plot thickens as Johns continues to build and expand on the Green Lantern mythos and Hal Jordan's background in particular. Tying some of Hal's more powerful villains closer into his own life is an inspired idea and in doing this Johns has eclipsed John Byrne who tried - and failed - to do much the same thing in Spider-Man: Chapter One.

For some reason, it just seems to makes sense for Hector Hammond to get his telepathic powers after tampering with alien technology he doesn't understand rather than from his random discovery of an intelligence-enhancing, radioactive meteor. We also get an extended version of the first meeting between Sinestro and Hal Jordan that we saw in Green Lantern: Rebirth as well as the first ever scene I know of which depicts how Tom "Pie" Kalmaku found out about Hal's secret identity. Throw in a scene that seems to show the creation of the power behind The Red Lanterns and you have one hell of a story.


HELLBLAZER #245: The production team for a "Where Are They Now?" show about punk rockers does a story on John Constantine's old band and apparently awaken something evil as they go looking for the nightclub in Newcastle where a younger John tried to fight a demon, went mad in the process, failed to save a little girl from Hell and was blamed for the girls' murder.

John's absent for most of the issue, but his presence is felt none the less. Like many classic Batman stories where the legend of Batman and the influence of the character are felt even if the character is never seen, John Constatine's legend fills this story to the point where John's first appearance on the last page is almost gilding the lily. Another good issue for newbies who have never been exposed to the world of Hellblazer to jump on with.


HUNTRESS: YEAR ONE #4: I liked the first three issues of this series for creating an origin for Helena that didn't seem like a rehash of The Godfather or make her into a supporting player in her own origin story. I love this issue for the first meeting between Helena and a younger, pre-wheelchair Barbara Gordon and a bunch of little touches, such as..

1) Barbara being a revealed as a legal librarian. It makes perfect sense given her interest in crime-fighting as a teenager and her father putting his foot down over her becoming a cop. And as a librarian myself, I appreciate someone acknowledging that most of us are specialists in some aspect of the research sciences.

2) The idea of Bruce Wayne making his home available for a Mafia social function and then bugging his own house. Of course we've seen Bruce using his position to get information from the high class criminals before... but this is such a brilliant conceit, I'm amazed that I haven't seen it used in a Batman story before.

3) The Selina Kyle cameo. Nice continuation of the use of the character in The Long Halloween.

I know Tony Bedard just got back on the book... but we need Ivory Madison writing Birds of Prey as soon as he is ready to move on to something else.


JACK OF FABLES #23: Ex Machina is probably the best written book I read every month. And Fables is the best overall package. But for my money, no book can quite get me to laugh like all the bits with Babe, The Blue Ox in this book. And the main story with bandit king Gentleman Jack Candle in the Ol' West staying one step ahead of Sheriff Bigby Wolf is a good one too.


JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #22: Some say that Brad Meltzer is the best writer working at DC when it comes to getting inside the character's heads and giving us a story that may not have a lot of action, but perfectly captures the heart and spirit of a character.

With all due respect, these people are full of it. Because Dwayne McDuffie - in this single issue - has built upon every thing Brad Meltzer did in his one year on JLA and then blown it out of the water as...

* An incorporable Red Tornado answers more questions than we ever wanted to know about his sex life and proposes to his long-term, common-law wife.

* Vixen pours her heart out about her failing powers to ex-boyfriend Bronze Tiger.

* Superman goes Dr. Phil, and gives Roy Harper his philosophy on how conflict and arguments benefit a relationship.

* Black Canary takes charge and actually acts how a professional woman, a legacy hero and the leader of the Justice League SHOULD act when she finds out that one of her teammates has been lying to the team and been putting them in danger. She chews Vixen out, kicks her off the team and dismisses all requests for leniency.

* She then pulls Vixen aside, and because Dinah has always been a nurturer as well as a warrior, asks what she can do to help Vixen with her problems.

* Batman actually loses a fight. This happens so rarely, I thought I should mention it.

As I've said before, give McDuffie the freedom to write his own stories, and he's one of the best writers on the planet. Shame he's stuck with Ed "Cheesecake" Benes on art... but you can't have everything, I guess.


KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #140: Just in time for Convention-Season, all the standard storylines went on hold for this tribute to traveling to the convention. From bad road-trips to surly gate guards and the magical powers a chainmail bikini can bestow upon a girl amidst gamers, this issue is something that comic geeks and game geeks can both enjoy. If you've ever been curious about KoDT, this is a good issue to jump on with.

Fast Thoughts - The Week of 04/30/08

DC UNIVERSE #0 - The good news is I don't feel ripped off because - thanks to the generosity of Lone Star Comics in South Arlington - I didn't have to pay for it.

The bad news is... well, this preview book isn't worth 50 cents. And while I don't seem to be as overwhelmingly gloomy as some of my colleagues in the blogging community about some of the revelations to come forth here, I must admit that I can't see this doing much to build enthusiasm for Batman: R.I.P. or Legion of Three Worlds.

I am, however, repressing a mad cackle at the idea that Gail Simone appears to be getting ready to write a Wonder Woman vs. 300 Spartans story. And Blackest Night is looking better and better.

But as for Final Crisis... ah, well.... they've been hinting at it enough. And with Bucky and Uncle Ben back it's not like anything is truly sacred anymore.

Check it out for yourself: http://community.livejournal.com/scans_daily/5423614.html#cutid1


EX MACHINA #36- I don't know who this new "villain" is, but I think I'm in love.


GREEN LANTERN #30- Secret Origins continues as we see Johns further revamp and modernize the classic "How Hal Jordan Became Green Lantern" story while reconciling it with Alan Moore's story "Tygers", all while foreshadowing quite a bit of the upcoming "Blackest Night". The one downside is that if you're not a Green Lantern fan, this may be impossible to keep up with if you haven't been reading since Sinestero Corps War.


JACK OF FABLES #22- Another divergent tale as we hear a story of Jack in the Old West as he turned bandit and lawman Bigby Wolf shows up to bring him home. I can't imagine there being anyone reading this book who isn't also reading Fables... but on the odd chance that there is, you'll want to pick up this issue too.