Thursday, January 12, 2012

DC Comics: Six Books Out, Six Books In - My Thoughts

SOURCE: Six DC Comics Canceled But Six New Titles Are Planned To Keep The Magic 52 Number

Word is that the characters from the canceled series will be popping up in other titles, so not all is lost. Let's count them down.



THE CANCELED

Blackhawks - Unsurprising. The artwork was lackluster and the concept was basically G.I. Joe for adults. Problem is, most of the fans of that sort of book were buying the much more adult official G.I. Joe comic series.

Mister Terrific - This one hits me hard. I honestly enjoyed this series, though apparently I was one of the few who did. I think the series was just starting to find it's footing and needed a little more time to find an audience. Maybe the multi-dimensional storyline will get resolved in time for Michael Holt to find a place in the new Earth 2 title? We can only hope.

OMAC - Another good series aimed at a limited niche. I guess there weren't enough Jack Kirby fans willing to shell out three clams a month for a tribute book.

Men At War - Again, it was a good series for what it was. But there wasn't enough appeal to make it sell to the majority of comic readers who don't typically like war comics.

Static Shock- Unfortunate, but predictable. John Rozum leaving the book early on worried many long-time Milestone fans and Scott McDaniel - while a skilled artist - is relatively untested as a writer. Throw in the fact that the book opened mid-stream, with plot threads from previous Static comics going unexplained (such as why Virgil's older sister now had a clone) despite the series being meant to be a jumping on point for new readers, and it's not hard to see why this one failed to find an audience.

Hawk And Dove - Perhaps the least surprising cancelation of all, given poor reviews and the widespread hatred of Rob Liefeld among the comic-reading mainstream. The one thing this book had going for it was Sterling Gates' scripts. When Gates jumped ship, it was just a matter of time.




THE NEW BLOOD


BATMAN INCORPORATED – Writer: Grant Morrison. Artist: Chris Burnham.

The acclaimed ongoing writer of ACTION COMICS, Grant Morrison, presents a fresh take on BATMAN INCORPORATED, in which the Batman brand is franchised globally in preparation for a major international threat.

Despite generally enjoying Morrison's work, I'm not a big fan of the Batman Inc. concept. And do we really need another Batman book at this point? Still, this has been in the works for a while and I'm sure it will sell well.


EARTH 2 – Writer: James Robinson. Artist: Nicola Scott.

The greatest heroes on a parallel Earth, the Justice Society combats threats that will set them on a collision course with other worlds.

This series has also been in the planning stages for a while and I've been looking forward to it for several reasons. My fondness of Robinson's work is well-known but I also loved Nicola Scott's work on Birds of Prey and Secret Six. Putting Robinson in charge of the Earth 2/Golden Age heroes makes perfect sense given his track record with them and Scott's style will be well suited to such a title. A definite must see once it comes out.


WORLDS’ FINEST – Writer: Paul Levitz. Artists: George Perez and Kevin Maguire.

Stranded on our world from a parallel reality, Huntress and Power Girl struggle to find their way back to Earth 2. Perez and Maguire will be the artists on alternating story arcs.

Levitz work is hit and miss with me. His Legion work is largely inaccesible to me but I have enjoyed his Huntress mini-series. Despite this, having either Perez or Maguire on art duties would tip the scales in favor of me giving this book a shot. Having both of them clinched it. Can't wait to see this one.


DIAL H – Writer: China Miéville. Artist: Mateus Santoluoco.

The first ongoing series from acclaimed novelist China Miéville, this is a bold new take on a cult classic concept about the psychological effects on an everyman who accidentally gains powers to become a hero.

Unless this gets particularly rave reviews, I'll probably pass on this one personally. I've never been a big fan of the H-Dial concept. I'm not familiar with Miéville's work. And Mateus Santoluoco's artwork looks far too dark and dirty for my tastes though well-suited toward a psychological tale.


G.I. COMBAT – Writer: J.T. Krul. Artist: Ariel Olivetti.

Featuring the return of a classic DC Comics series, THE WAR THAT TIME FORGOT, along with rotating back-up stories and creative teams – including THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER, with writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti and artist Dan Panosian; and THE HAUNTED TANK, with writer John Arcudi and artist Scott Kolins.

Cancelling one war book to publish another? Even with Gray and Palmiotti doing a back-up, I'm having a hard time working up an interest.


THE RAVAGERS – Writer: Howard Mackie. Artist: Ian Churchill.

Spinning off from TEEN TITANS and SUPERBOY, this series finds four superpowered teens on the run and fighting against the organization that wants to turn them into supervillains.

Hey kids! Is Scott Lobdell's Teen Titans not angsty enough for your liking? Have we got a book for you!

Ignoring that the concept sounds like a blatant rip-off of Marvel's Runaways, there's still the matter of the creative team. Howard Mackie, lest we forget, was the writer of most of the Spider-Man Clone Saga. Ian Churchill is the poor man's Michael Turner, who was responsible for putting Supergirl into a stripper version of her own costume back when Jeph Loeb was writing her book.

Three words. DO. NOT. WANT.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Abobo's Big Adventure - A Review

A labor of love six years in the making was released today, to thus far near-unanimous positive reviews. I speak of Abobo's Big Adventure which is fast on its' way to becoming the Indy Game hit of 2012.





Starring Abobo - the man-mountain first-stage boss of the original Double Dragon game - the plot is simplicity itself and the stuff of classic console gaming. Your son Aboboy has been kidnapped by dark forces unknown. Your mission is to fight your way through several mayhem filled levels, doing the impractical, the obscene and the totally impossible along the way.






The controls are simplicity itself. You use the arrows to move and have two buttons for punching, kicking, swimming or whatever any given level may require. The one constant is a rage meter, which you fuel by kicking ass without taking damage. Power it up and you can clear the whole screen with a level-appropriate special attack.




The various stages are full of the flotsam and jetsam of games long past. For instance, the game's second level - a tribute to the numerous water levels we all hated - will pit Abobo against characters from Super Mario Bros, Mega Man II, Goonies 2 and yes... Jaws, the NES game. Another level is a lost Legend of Zelda dungeon. Yet another involves the old NES Pro Wrestling game...




This game is funny, like a good/bad action movie and over-the-top in just the right ways. It is pure, unabashed insanity like the games of old. I should note that with options to mate with a mermaid and then using your own freak babies as a protective shield or the ability to behead innocent bystanders and use their body parts to raise your health or their broken bodies as weapons, this game should definitely not be played by small children.





Long story short. I like it. If you're a fan of old-school gaming , you'll probably like it too. This is easily the greatest tribute to 8-bit gaming since the Scott Pilgrim series. And now, let us close this up with a totally inappropriate meme.





Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Skyrim: A Journal of War - Chapter Sixteen: The Kids AREN'T Alright.

From The Saga Of Matthias The Bather; Written by Sven


It is at this point that the story of Matthias the Bather, who I counted as friend and the most honorable of men, becomes confused. It is known that he sought the Thieves Guild of Riften but to what purpose I cannot say. Indeed, factual information about Matthias' adventures in Riften are hard to come by.

While many songs are sung in the taverns of Riften with much laughter and slapping of knees about Matthias' exploits , I do not consider most of these accounts credible even by the loose standards of bard songs. Not even the tale of his fighting two dragons at once at the very gates of Riften itself. As I chose for this biography to focus upon what few facts I could confirm or witnessed myself, I shall not recant those tales here.



There are only two hard bits of evidence of this period of Matthias' life that I could confirm. One was the
account of a rumor-monger, who insisted that Matthias did leave Riften with the intent of journeying to the far distant Dwarven ruins of Mzinchaleft. The other was the account of a Windhelm guard who confirmed that Matthias did stop briefly in their town to investigate rumors of a person attempting to summon the assassins known as The Dark Brotherhood...


Lydia: I do not understand why we undertook this journey to retrieve the valkyrie's sword.
Me: Some things are not done for coin, Lydia.
Lydia: By some, perhaps. But not you. my lord.
Me: Ah, but there are ways to barter without coin.
Lydia: So you hope to buy her favor?
Me: Yeah, but she doesn't seem like that kind of girl.
Lydia: *sighs* No. I mean, is that you hope that by winning her good graces, you might persuade her to turn her attentions away from your... new friends?
Me: Yes. And it is for that same reason, that we are investigating these rumors of a young man attempting to summon The Dark Brotherhood. Thieves and Assassins are natural enemies. One kills for money. The other goes out of their way to avoid killing for money. If I can talk some sense into the boy, it will be a feather in my cap.
Lydia: You do not have a cap, milord.
Me: Good point. Make a note - I shall have to steal a cap. And quite possibly a feather.




Aventus: Sweet Mother, Sweet Mother, send your child unto me...
Me: I'd expect a noble house to have better locks.... the Hell?!
Aventus: ... Bloody Mary, Blood Mary, Three Bags Full...
Me: Uh... kid?
Aventus: ... Goblin King, Goblin King, Wherever you may be...
Me: Yoo-hoo? Shorty?
Aventus: Huh? Oh, it's you! I knew you would come!
Me: Wha?
Aventus: They said I'd regret running away! That I'd never find a copy of The Dark Sacrament! They said it would never work! But it did! You're here!
Me: Woah... slow down there, short stuff. I think you're confused.
Aventus: I hope not... you look just like I pictured. The cruel eyes... the hooded cloak... the slouching posture and thick brow.
Me: Oy!
Aventus: Oh.. right. I guess we should get down to business. I want you to kill Grelod The Kind, who runs the orphanage in Riften.
Me: Kid...
Aventus: I know, I know. Everyone says she's a nice old woman, but she isn't! She's mean! She makes us do all these awful chores! She makes us eat terrible things!
Me: I think I get the picture...
Aventus: Oh good! I don't have much - all of my wealth is being held in trust until I'm old enough to take over my estate again. But you can have this family heirloom. It must be worth a bit. Will you take care of things, Mr. Assassin? Sir?
Me: Okay kid. Sure. I'll take care of things for you.


ONE DAY LATER, AT THE RIFTEN ORPHANAGE...

Lydia: You don't believe a word of it, do you?
Me: Me? Of course not. Spoiled rich brat like that? She probably wanted him to make his own bed and told him to eat his vegetables. I'm sure that once we go in there and talk to the lady, she'll be glad to know the boy is safe.
Lydia: But should we really be going to the orphanage this late at night?
Me: Well, I don't want to go talking to her about all this when the kids are awake, do I? Hello, what are those voices?





Gerlod The Kind: ... and the double beatings will continue, until your attitude improves.
Children: *soft crying*
Gerlod The Kind: And one more thing! I will hear no more talk of adoptions! None of you riff-raff is getting adopted. Ever! Nobody needs you, nobody wants you.
Children: *sobbing*
Gerlod The Kind: Shut up! The next one who cries will get double puppy stew for breakfast!
Me: *whispered* By Talos' loincloth! The brat was telling the truth! This woman is textbook Lawful Evil! Almost comically so!
Lydia: *whispered* Indeed, my lord. We must go fetch the city guard at once. Inform the Jarl of the cruel treatment these children are suffering.
Me: Hmm? Oh, did you say something? Sorry, I was looking for my most dull arrowhead before I shoot the old bitch.
Lydia: Wait!

*THWUNK*




Gerlord The Kind: ACK!
Child #1: Gerlod! I think....
Child #2: ... she's dead!
Children: ... hurrah! We're saved!
Child #1: He did it! Aventus did it!
Child #2: I knew he could do it!
Child #3: Thank you, Dark Brotherhood!
Lydia: ... how are they not seeing us kneeling here in the corner?
Me: This is Riften. People here are really good at not seeing things happen here.
Lydia: ... but WHY?!
Me: Because there comes a time when even the lowest of men must look evil in the face and say "enough". Because a true man must stand up when the weakest and most helpless are repressed and unable to live in simple dignity. But mostly because that little boy promised me a shiny geegaw for doing it.
Lydia: Whatever happened to Thieves not killing for money?
Me: Meh. Who's going to tell them?

Destiny’s Hand: Ultimate Pirate Edition - A No Flying No Tights Review

SOURCE: Destiny’s Hand: Ultimate Pirate Edition
 
 
 
Are you a fan of swashbuckling tales of adventure on the high-seas? Are you a fan of One Piece who wishes there were more manga about pirates? Do you trust the word of the Young Adult Library Association when it comes to selecting titles for its’ annual Great Graphic Novels For Teens list? If the answer to any of these rhetorical questions is a hearty “Aye!”, then you would do well to pick up a copy of Destiny’s Hand as soon as possible.

Set in a fantasy realm where magic is real and pirates still roam the oceans, our story centers upon a young woman named Olivia. Ill-suited to the idle life of a noble’s daughter and ill-pleased at the prospect of being married off to a total stranger, Olivia is more excited than terrified when the ship taking her to meet her betrothed is attacked by Captain Blaine – gentleman pirate and master of the unsinkable ship Destiny’s Hand. Impressed by Olivia’s courage and honor, as she challenged the bosun Diego to a duel and then spared his life when she won, Captain Blaine promises Olivia a boon should she ever need it. She immediately requests safe passage and a place on his crew – a boon Captain Blaine is happy to grant.

Three years later, Olivia has grown into a fine woman and is but one of the many colorful characters making up the crew of Destiny’s Hand. But all is not well, for Captain Blaine and his magical ship have many secrets and a prophecy to fulfill. And when an injury leaves Captain Blaine crippled, it will fall to Olivia to become the pirate captain she always dreamed of being and lead her crew of misfits on a quest. For evil men on both sides of the law seek the power of The Devil’s Eye – a magical gem with the power to destroy whole cities and fleets. And the magic of Destiny’s Hand may be the only thing that cave save the world.

It would be easy to compare Destiny’s Hand to the Pirates Of The Caribbean films as both have intricate plots with many interesting characters and a good deal of common themes. But for my money, Destiny’s Hand has better developed characters and much better pacing when it comes to its’ action scenes. Olivia is far more realized than the standard “tough-chick” heroine and fans of the works of Tamora Pierce and L.A. Meyer will likely find her to be the equal of Beka Cooper or Jacky Faber. The rest of the supporting cast is equally fleshed out.

Artistically, this is one of the best books I’ve read in recent memory. The visual storytelling is flawless, with the action flowing smoothly from page to page and there being virtually no confusion about panel order. The characters are as distinctly defined visually as they are in terms of personality.

All in all, I’d say this book is a must-have for any Young Adult or Teen graphic novel collection. Fans of action, fantasy and pirates will all enjoy it. Young women looking for a story with a heroine who doesn’t sit around waiting to be rescued will enjoy it. Quite frankly, I’m hard pressed to think of anyone who wouldn’t like this book except for those sticks-in-the-mud who don’t like pirates.

Destiny’s Hand: Ultimate Pirate Edition
by Nunzio DeFilippis and Christina Weir
Art by Melvin Calingo
ISBN: 9781934876732
Seven Seas Entertainment, 2009
Publisher Age Rating: Teen (13 )

The Greatest Skyrim Mod Ever - Macho Dragons!

Thanks to an unusually busy day at work yesterday, I'm probably the last person in the world to post this at this point. But this... this is why I buy PC games instead of consoles. The imagination - for good or ill - that goes into some of the game mods is amazing. And this is one of the greatest.

I give you... Macho Dragons! A mod that turns gives every dragon in Skyrim the likeness and voice of the late, lamented professional wrestler and Slim Jim spokesman "Macho Man" Randy Savage.



BONESAW IS READY... TO GIVE THE DOVAHKIIN A FLYING ELBOW FROM THE TOP ROPE ! HOO YEAH!



Just see it in-action for yourself!