We have much to discuss and so little time, so let's get right to it.
Infinite Crisis #1 came out this week. And it was good. But it occurs to me that some of us are still a wee bit confused regarding some of the particulars of how we got to where we are now.
Understandable. There's six months worth of mini-series, tie-ins that directly built upon the title to say nothing of twenty years worth of backstory and maybe more for some characters.
Now, I can't cover everything you need to know in one column. Thankfully, I've written enough in the past to clarify some of the background to the major players...
The Possible Ending...
It's short, but six months ago I did consider what the major theme of Infinite Crisis would be given what we were seeing in the books then. I offer this merely as an opportunity to see how close or far I was to calling the shot.
No, really... Who IS Donna Troy?
This old column of mine covers everything about Donna Troy up until the recent Return of Donna Troy series. All you need to know past that is that Donna is apparently a nexus between several multiple realities and is now playing a role similar to the one Harbringer did in the original "Crisis".
Powerful Headaches: The Origins of Power Girl
More about Power Girl than anyone could ever hope to comprehend. Read JSA Classified #1-4 to catch up on what has come past this.
Anything past that... well, there's a lot more to cover and I don't know quite where to start. Why don't you all tell me? Drop me an e-mail (the link is below) and tell me what things about Infinite Crisis and the tie-ins you'd like to see explained in greater detail. Anything. From Nightwing's romantic life to how Killer Frost's powers work. Sky is the limit.
Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
Looking To The Stars: The Ten Terriffic?
Am I the only one who finds it mildly ironic that Marvel Comics announced the end of last years "Marvel Next" line the same week they make a big deal about "The Ten Terrific"?
See, it's this kind of inane marketing hackwork that led establishing my "Thou Shalt Not Purchase Any Marvel book not currently being written by JMS" rule. I'm sickened by how Marvel Editorial is unable to simply put new books out and let them find an audience. Unless something is part of some big gimmick movement, it might as well not exist. That's why well-written, original series like New Thunderbolts and Runaways wither and die on the vine while crap like Young Avengers is hyped into oblivion.
So, really... how terrific IS "The Ten Terrific"? Let's take a look at "TTT" in order and see, shall we?
1. Allan Heinberg
Who? Hold on... let me check Wikipedia.
Huh? Oh. THIS is the guy who writes Young Avengers.
See the above comments. NEXT!
2. David Hine
Haven't read District X, but I did read Mutopia. And in the whole pointless, drawn-out mess that is House of M, that book was the most pointless mess of them all. NEXT!
3. Reggie Hudlin
If the CN message boards are any indication, I may stand alone on this. But I've actually enjoyed what works of his I have read. I've heard several people savage his command of Black Panther's history so I'll take their word for it. But his arc on "MK: Spider-Man", while a bit heavy on the Superman parallels managed to actually surprise me with its' twist ending. More, it was actually fun, which few comics manage to be these days.
4. Robert Kirkman
He's good, but he's a bit of a cheat. As I understand it, the whole point of this movement is to promote hot new writers and... Kirkman has been at this a while. Still, his Marvel Team Up has been one of the few decent books Marvel has published in the last year, so good on him getting some press.
5.Sean McKeever
It took an Eisner Award for him to finally get some attention, but he's the only "New" talent who deserves to be on this list.
6.Greg Pak
If you need a book that is a shameless B-list sequel to a much better work, here is the man to write it. Most famous for "That Phoenix Mini-Series that spun out of Morrison's X-Men" and an unnecessary sequel to Gaiman's 1602, his best original work thus far has been the comic book adaptation of the Marvel Nemesis video game. And I say this only because his writing managed to capture the dull monotony of the game perfectly.
7.Roberto Sacasa
Why hasn't this guy been sent back to Off-Off-Broadway yet? His MK: 4 book was abysmal, trying to force realism and real-world concerns onto a book that has always thrived on... the FANTASTIC! I stopped reading after he put forth the idea that Reed Richards couldn't find work. Right. Like there's NO American company unscrupulous enough to hire an alleged world-conquering despot if he can improve profits. His Nightcrawler series, while better, is merely readable.
8.Dan Slott
In a fair and just world, HE would be writing "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man" or SOME Spider-Man title. Sadly, this is not a fair and just world, so we must content ourselves with the occasional GLX, She-Hulk and Thing series. Oh well...
9.Daniel Way
He was responsible for the Tsunmai Venom title. 'Nuff said!
10.Joss Whedon
Again, a cheat. He's been at this comic-writing gig a while now. And quite honestly, he needs the hype like a bird needs an airplane. He managed to create a readable X-Men title, so he deserves praise for that. Still, here's hoping that someone decides to bring back "Firefly" and he goes to devote his energies to that instead of trying to run a flag up the Marvel mast.
In short, "The Ten Terrific" is anything but. Unlike last years "Young Guns", there's a little bit of talent here... but sadly, this is your typical Marvel announcement with JoeyQ at the helm. Sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.
See, it's this kind of inane marketing hackwork that led establishing my "Thou Shalt Not Purchase Any Marvel book not currently being written by JMS" rule. I'm sickened by how Marvel Editorial is unable to simply put new books out and let them find an audience. Unless something is part of some big gimmick movement, it might as well not exist. That's why well-written, original series like New Thunderbolts and Runaways wither and die on the vine while crap like Young Avengers is hyped into oblivion.
So, really... how terrific IS "The Ten Terrific"? Let's take a look at "TTT" in order and see, shall we?
1. Allan Heinberg
Who? Hold on... let me check Wikipedia.
Huh? Oh. THIS is the guy who writes Young Avengers.
See the above comments. NEXT!
2. David Hine
Haven't read District X, but I did read Mutopia. And in the whole pointless, drawn-out mess that is House of M, that book was the most pointless mess of them all. NEXT!
3. Reggie Hudlin
If the CN message boards are any indication, I may stand alone on this. But I've actually enjoyed what works of his I have read. I've heard several people savage his command of Black Panther's history so I'll take their word for it. But his arc on "MK: Spider-Man", while a bit heavy on the Superman parallels managed to actually surprise me with its' twist ending. More, it was actually fun, which few comics manage to be these days.
4. Robert Kirkman
He's good, but he's a bit of a cheat. As I understand it, the whole point of this movement is to promote hot new writers and... Kirkman has been at this a while. Still, his Marvel Team Up has been one of the few decent books Marvel has published in the last year, so good on him getting some press.
5.Sean McKeever
It took an Eisner Award for him to finally get some attention, but he's the only "New" talent who deserves to be on this list.
6.Greg Pak
If you need a book that is a shameless B-list sequel to a much better work, here is the man to write it. Most famous for "That Phoenix Mini-Series that spun out of Morrison's X-Men" and an unnecessary sequel to Gaiman's 1602, his best original work thus far has been the comic book adaptation of the Marvel Nemesis video game. And I say this only because his writing managed to capture the dull monotony of the game perfectly.
7.Roberto Sacasa
Why hasn't this guy been sent back to Off-Off-Broadway yet? His MK: 4 book was abysmal, trying to force realism and real-world concerns onto a book that has always thrived on... the FANTASTIC! I stopped reading after he put forth the idea that Reed Richards couldn't find work. Right. Like there's NO American company unscrupulous enough to hire an alleged world-conquering despot if he can improve profits. His Nightcrawler series, while better, is merely readable.
8.Dan Slott
In a fair and just world, HE would be writing "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man" or SOME Spider-Man title. Sadly, this is not a fair and just world, so we must content ourselves with the occasional GLX, She-Hulk and Thing series. Oh well...
9.Daniel Way
He was responsible for the Tsunmai Venom title. 'Nuff said!
10.Joss Whedon
Again, a cheat. He's been at this comic-writing gig a while now. And quite honestly, he needs the hype like a bird needs an airplane. He managed to create a readable X-Men title, so he deserves praise for that. Still, here's hoping that someone decides to bring back "Firefly" and he goes to devote his energies to that instead of trying to run a flag up the Marvel mast.
In short, "The Ten Terrific" is anything but. Unlike last years "Young Guns", there's a little bit of talent here... but sadly, this is your typical Marvel announcement with JoeyQ at the helm. Sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.
Monday, October 3, 2005
Looking To The Stars: Whole Bunches Of Reviews!
This past week was, according to many sources, the biggest week for new comic releases in the past two years. Now, I know a lot of us didn’t have the time or the money to pick up everything and not everyone is as fortunate as I am to work in a comic shop where I get a chance to browse through almost everything on a weekly basis. So in order to keep you all in the know, here’s some quick thoughts on what comics were worth getting and what comics should be avoided at all cost.
Action Philosophers #3
One book everyone should be reading that has, thankfully, been renewed past its’ initial four-issue engagement. This is the “Self Help for Stupid Ugly Losers” issue, detailing the lives of psychological philosophers such as Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell. You can read some free previews at http://www.eviltwincomics.com/ap.html
Score: 8 out of 10.
Adventures of Superman #644
Superman and Zatanna team up to take on Toyman, whom it turns out was also altered by Zatanna’s magic when the League was “fixing” villains. Not essential to the on-going plot of Infinite Crisis, but a good story nonetheless.
Score: 6 out of 10.
Amazing Spider-Man #524
A Spider-Man comic with very little Spider-Man, we take a break from the action to set-up the next big storyline and resolve the plot with Mary Jane making the tabloids. JMS continues to be the only writer on a regular monthly title who seems to have ANY idea of how to write Peter Parker in the wake of his joining The Avengers.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Batman #645
Okay. So Leslie Thompkins is a murderer. Alfred has apparently been killing people for years to protect his young master’s secret. Dick Grayson has gone to the dark side in a rather vague timeline that continues to defy easy classification. Hush was teamed with a brand new Clayface. And Jason Todd is back from the dead. Is there any way the Bat books could become any more convoluted? I’ll save you the money on this one: Jason Todd was never apparently buried in the first place. Drawn out, pointless and more confusing than Chinese algebra.
Score: 4 out of 10, and that’s only for the art.
Daredevil #77
Ever read Stan Lee’s Spider-Man? How about Frank Miller’s Daredevil, particularly “Born Again”? Apparently, Brian Michael Bendis hasn’t. Spare you the fine details but the plot in the book right now handily ignores a good deal of back story involving The Kingpin and his criminal record and is pushing the idea that despite countless people who could easily send Wilson Fisk up the river, the Feds have NOTHING on him and are ready to set him free so they can put away Matt Murdock for vigilantism.
Score: 3 out of 10, again only for the art.
Defenders #3
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hulk am… exhausted! Starman am… amused!
Score: 8 out of 10.
Fantastic Four #531
Scratch my earlier statement. JMS is the only writer on a monthly title at Marvel who seems to have any idea of how to characterize ANYONE.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Flash #226
I miss Geoff Johns already. Blah on all fronts.
Score: 3 out of 10.
JLA #119
Leave it to Geoff Johns to be the one writer to come up with a truly credible reason why Batman would fly totally off the handle regarding the JLA dabbling with mind-alteration outside of the generic “I am the dark and moody knight” spiel that keeps getting hammered and hammered and hammered into us. The secret ingredient is love, kids!
Score: 9 out of 10.
JLA Classified #12
Worst book all week. The art’s crap and Warren Ellis either has no clue how to write the Justice League or has no interest in doing so properly. The whole thing reads like a rejected Authority script with all the personality and humor sucked out, which, given that Ellis reportedly had more than a few of his scripts rejected during his run, is not too far out a suggestion.
Score: 0 out of 10.
Legion of Superheroes #10
The plot thickens. A generation unites. And a Legionnaire dies! The best Legion in years.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere #4
With Mirrormask out in theaters this Friday and the new book Anansi Boys also out, it would be easy for this Mike Carey adaptation of the famous Neil Gaiman TV series to get missed. That would be a crime, because even if the master didn’t pen this one himself, it is a worthy tribute to the original.
Score: 7 out of 10.
New Avengers #11
Aside from one page of artwork suggesting that somebody with a MAJOR father complex (wink wink) is the mystery ninja, there is nothing to suggest that the mystery ninja is anyone BUT the person that we all knew the mystery ninja was supposed to be. Either way, I can’t be bothered to care. Go reread the first few issues of The Tick instead of this “Ronin” storyline. At least that one was MEANT to be cheesy and funny.
Score: 2 out of 10.
OMAC Project #6
A rushed, clichéd sci-fi cop-out ending. So we’re supposed to believe that when they were designing the OMACs, it never occurred to anyone to make the Nanites EMP proof? Given the number of heroes who could generate an EMP that seems a little unlikely. Then again, so has most of this series. Still, we get to see Hal Jordan verbally pimp-slap Batman again, so it’s not totally worthless.
Score: 4 out of 10.
Plastic Man #18
The greatest book in the world that nobody is reading. Shame really, as this issue boasts one of the best bits of superhero satire in months. Pick it up before it disappears.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Red Sonja #2
The only book to come out this week that was over a month late and worth the wait, if only for the expanded page-count. I’d gladly sacrifice the alternate covers (a gimmick this book does not need) in order to get this out on a more regular basis. Incidentally, for the intellectual sorts out there who refuse to buy any book with multiple-covers of pin-up art? Don’t judge a book by its’ cover; this book is a fitting companion to Dark Horse’s Conan book.
Score: 9 out of 10.
Sentry #1
While Romita Jr.’s art continues to degenerate into a dark sloppy parody of Frank Miller, at least we can depend on Paul Jenkins to write a decent script. I wasn’t a big fan of the original Sentry series well written though it was, but at least this book stays true to the form of the original.
Score: 6 out of 10.
Spider-Man:House of M #4
I’m still not sure what the heck happened to Peter in this book, but I still think this is one of the better things to come out of House of M. And I love the irony that Peter’s alternate life is being saved by the three people whose lives he failed to save.
Score: 6 out of 10.
Superman/Batman #22
Me am so not confused by Bizzaro and Batzarro dialogue. Me am not loving shameless mockery of team who is NOT The Ultimates.
Score: 7 out of 10.
Ultimate Iron Man #4
You know, as charming as Orson Scott Card’s soap opera villains were when I was a kid reading Ender’s Game, they just don’t do anything in a book that is aimed at older readers.
Score: 4 out of 10.
Ultimate Secret #3
What if they threw an alien invasion and nobody cared? Saved from being the most pointless book of the week by two things; the decent art and the fact that as boring as this book is, at least everyone sounds somewhat in character as they sit around talking and not doing anything. Well, everyone except Thor who is now buying beer for minors and talking about the true warrior spirit despite being a peace-loving hippie in the Ultimate universe.
Score: 3 out of 10.
Finally, if you haven’t seen Serenity yet, go forth and do so! I was just introduced to the amazing universe of Firefly this weekend by some friends and this sci-fi movie is (for once) actually accessible to someone who knows NOTHING about the TV series. So you have no excuses, apart from not being able to afford the ticket, to not give this movie a shot.
Action Philosophers #3
One book everyone should be reading that has, thankfully, been renewed past its’ initial four-issue engagement. This is the “Self Help for Stupid Ugly Losers” issue, detailing the lives of psychological philosophers such as Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and Joseph Campbell. You can read some free previews at http://www.eviltwincomics.com/ap.html
Score: 8 out of 10.
Adventures of Superman #644
Superman and Zatanna team up to take on Toyman, whom it turns out was also altered by Zatanna’s magic when the League was “fixing” villains. Not essential to the on-going plot of Infinite Crisis, but a good story nonetheless.
Score: 6 out of 10.
Amazing Spider-Man #524
A Spider-Man comic with very little Spider-Man, we take a break from the action to set-up the next big storyline and resolve the plot with Mary Jane making the tabloids. JMS continues to be the only writer on a regular monthly title who seems to have ANY idea of how to write Peter Parker in the wake of his joining The Avengers.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Batman #645
Okay. So Leslie Thompkins is a murderer. Alfred has apparently been killing people for years to protect his young master’s secret. Dick Grayson has gone to the dark side in a rather vague timeline that continues to defy easy classification. Hush was teamed with a brand new Clayface. And Jason Todd is back from the dead. Is there any way the Bat books could become any more convoluted? I’ll save you the money on this one: Jason Todd was never apparently buried in the first place. Drawn out, pointless and more confusing than Chinese algebra.
Score: 4 out of 10, and that’s only for the art.
Daredevil #77
Ever read Stan Lee’s Spider-Man? How about Frank Miller’s Daredevil, particularly “Born Again”? Apparently, Brian Michael Bendis hasn’t. Spare you the fine details but the plot in the book right now handily ignores a good deal of back story involving The Kingpin and his criminal record and is pushing the idea that despite countless people who could easily send Wilson Fisk up the river, the Feds have NOTHING on him and are ready to set him free so they can put away Matt Murdock for vigilantism.
Score: 3 out of 10, again only for the art.
Defenders #3
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hulk am… exhausted! Starman am… amused!
Score: 8 out of 10.
Fantastic Four #531
Scratch my earlier statement. JMS is the only writer on a monthly title at Marvel who seems to have any idea of how to characterize ANYONE.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Flash #226
I miss Geoff Johns already. Blah on all fronts.
Score: 3 out of 10.
JLA #119
Leave it to Geoff Johns to be the one writer to come up with a truly credible reason why Batman would fly totally off the handle regarding the JLA dabbling with mind-alteration outside of the generic “I am the dark and moody knight” spiel that keeps getting hammered and hammered and hammered into us. The secret ingredient is love, kids!
Score: 9 out of 10.
JLA Classified #12
Worst book all week. The art’s crap and Warren Ellis either has no clue how to write the Justice League or has no interest in doing so properly. The whole thing reads like a rejected Authority script with all the personality and humor sucked out, which, given that Ellis reportedly had more than a few of his scripts rejected during his run, is not too far out a suggestion.
Score: 0 out of 10.
Legion of Superheroes #10
The plot thickens. A generation unites. And a Legionnaire dies! The best Legion in years.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere #4
With Mirrormask out in theaters this Friday and the new book Anansi Boys also out, it would be easy for this Mike Carey adaptation of the famous Neil Gaiman TV series to get missed. That would be a crime, because even if the master didn’t pen this one himself, it is a worthy tribute to the original.
Score: 7 out of 10.
New Avengers #11
Aside from one page of artwork suggesting that somebody with a MAJOR father complex (wink wink) is the mystery ninja, there is nothing to suggest that the mystery ninja is anyone BUT the person that we all knew the mystery ninja was supposed to be. Either way, I can’t be bothered to care. Go reread the first few issues of The Tick instead of this “Ronin” storyline. At least that one was MEANT to be cheesy and funny.
Score: 2 out of 10.
OMAC Project #6
A rushed, clichéd sci-fi cop-out ending. So we’re supposed to believe that when they were designing the OMACs, it never occurred to anyone to make the Nanites EMP proof? Given the number of heroes who could generate an EMP that seems a little unlikely. Then again, so has most of this series. Still, we get to see Hal Jordan verbally pimp-slap Batman again, so it’s not totally worthless.
Score: 4 out of 10.
Plastic Man #18
The greatest book in the world that nobody is reading. Shame really, as this issue boasts one of the best bits of superhero satire in months. Pick it up before it disappears.
Score: 8 out of 10.
Red Sonja #2
The only book to come out this week that was over a month late and worth the wait, if only for the expanded page-count. I’d gladly sacrifice the alternate covers (a gimmick this book does not need) in order to get this out on a more regular basis. Incidentally, for the intellectual sorts out there who refuse to buy any book with multiple-covers of pin-up art? Don’t judge a book by its’ cover; this book is a fitting companion to Dark Horse’s Conan book.
Score: 9 out of 10.
Sentry #1
While Romita Jr.’s art continues to degenerate into a dark sloppy parody of Frank Miller, at least we can depend on Paul Jenkins to write a decent script. I wasn’t a big fan of the original Sentry series well written though it was, but at least this book stays true to the form of the original.
Score: 6 out of 10.
Spider-Man:House of M #4
I’m still not sure what the heck happened to Peter in this book, but I still think this is one of the better things to come out of House of M. And I love the irony that Peter’s alternate life is being saved by the three people whose lives he failed to save.
Score: 6 out of 10.
Superman/Batman #22
Me am so not confused by Bizzaro and Batzarro dialogue. Me am not loving shameless mockery of team who is NOT The Ultimates.
Score: 7 out of 10.
Ultimate Iron Man #4
You know, as charming as Orson Scott Card’s soap opera villains were when I was a kid reading Ender’s Game, they just don’t do anything in a book that is aimed at older readers.
Score: 4 out of 10.
Ultimate Secret #3
What if they threw an alien invasion and nobody cared? Saved from being the most pointless book of the week by two things; the decent art and the fact that as boring as this book is, at least everyone sounds somewhat in character as they sit around talking and not doing anything. Well, everyone except Thor who is now buying beer for minors and talking about the true warrior spirit despite being a peace-loving hippie in the Ultimate universe.
Score: 3 out of 10.
Finally, if you haven’t seen Serenity yet, go forth and do so! I was just introduced to the amazing universe of Firefly this weekend by some friends and this sci-fi movie is (for once) actually accessible to someone who knows NOTHING about the TV series. So you have no excuses, apart from not being able to afford the ticket, to not give this movie a shot.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Looking To The Stars: Denied!
To my beloved readers:
My apologies for not having a column this week. Having spent the week insuring my family and friends in South Texas had a place to come in the event of Hurricane Rita hitting them, I’ve had little time to write.
Please return next week when, barring any more unforeseen events, I will have much comicy goodness for you to read about.
Best wishes,
“Starman” Matt Morrison
Monday, September 19, 2005
Looking To The Stars: EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW OF ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN #3
The following pages were sent to us by a source who would identify themselves only as “Nancy”. If accurate, the text that follows are pages taken from the upcoming All-Star Batman and Robin #3. We are very excited to bring this exclusive preview to you, our beloved readers, and hope you will enjoy what we present here.
Episode 3
FROM: Miller, F
TO Lee, J
Hey Jim
Let me say once again what a pleasure it is to be working with an artist of your caliber. I know it may be empty prose and many a critic has said, but I really do think we’re going to be the true Dynamic Duo on this book.
As I write this, we just got the projected sales figures on the Sin City DVD, so I’m feeling pretty hyped right now. Despite all the energy I have right now, what I’ve written here is a little bit more sedate. But even though this a little more low-energy than the first two, but I think you’ll be able to pull this off magnificently.
As always, call if you have any questions or thoughts. I think my notes are vague enough to allow you some creativity, but specific enough to explain the pictures in my head. I’ve limited the panel numbers when possible, but have indicated which pages are splashes and which aren’t.
PAGE ONE
BIG SPLASH. BATMAN WALKING DOWN A DIRTY ALLEY.
Batman (V/O): Walk down the right back alley in Gotham City, and you can find anything…
PAGE THREE TO FOUR
BATMAN LAYS IN A BED, WEARING ONLY HIS COWL AND A BED SHEET
Batman (V/O): The night’s as hot as hell. It’s a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town – I’m staring at a goddess. She’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more minute wondering how I’ve gotten this lucky. She smells like catnip and squeaky toys, the perfect woman… the Goddess. Selina. She says her name is Selina.
LONG SHOT OF SELINA IN DOORWAY FROM BEHIND, SHOWING HER WEARING NOTHING BUT A PURPLE THONG WITH A CAT TAIL COMING OFF THE TOP. THINK WHAT THOSE CATGIRLS AT THE CONS WEAR.
Selina: Rough night?
Batman: I had to fight some cops.
Selina: Oh, that’s lovely. You didn’t happen to kill any of them, did you?
Batman: Nah, I don’t think so, but they know they been in a fight, that’s for sure.
PAGES EIGHT TO NINE
BATMAN ENTERS THE ICEBURG LOUNGE, AND GRABS A WAITRESS
Batman: I’m looking for Barbara Gordon?
Waitress: Eyes to the stage, pilgrim. She’s just warming up.
SEVERAL BIG PANELS OF A GORGEOUS REDHEAD GODDESS WEARING NOT MUCH GRIDING AWAY ON A STAGE
Batman (V/O): Skinny Barbara Gordon. She grew up. She filled out.
PAGE THIRTEEN
BATMAN IS HOLDING DICK GRAYSON UP WITH ONE HAND, LOOKING HIM RIGHT IN THE EYES
Batman: It’s time to prove that you’re worth a damn. Sometimes that means dying, sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people.
PAGE FIFTEEN
BATMAN PLOWS THE BATMOBILE OVER A WHOLE LINE OF POLICE CARS
Batman (V/O): I love corrupt cops. No matter what you do to them, you don’t feel bad.
PAGE SEVENTEEN
BIG SPLASH. ROB GETS A RAZOR SHARP BATARANG THROUGH THE CHEST
PAGE EIGHTEEN
ROB: See, Don? It’s right through me.. Nuke me radical! Is Nasty!
DON: Hope Rob don’t say balls nasty.
ROB: Balls nasty!
DON: Eye it, leader! Something wrapped around it. Some kind of pipe.
HARVEY: Give it to me.
ROB: Don, this nuked me radical! Just look at it. It’s right through me, Don!
HARVEY: [reading the note] Batman, you fool.
ROB: Don, maybe somebody get pipe to medic for me or something? Can’t close the lines on this one, Don!
HARVEY: Out back. Everyone. Bring the women.
ROB: Don?
PAGE TWENTY-FOUR
BIG SPLASH OF BATMAN LOOKING DOWN ON THE CITY LIKE A PAGAN GOD.
Batman (V/O): What if I’m wrong? I’ve got a condition. I get confused sometimes. What if I’ve imagined all this? What if I’ve finally turned into what they’ve always said I would turn into? A maniac. A psycho killer.
EDITOR’S BOX
NEXT TIME; THAT WHITE BASTARD
Looking To The Stars is a critique/satire published by 411mania.com, and is not intended maliciously. 411mania.com has invented all names, words and situations in its stories, except in cases when public figures and fictional works are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody (permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988)). 411mania.com makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceding information.
Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.
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