Monday, September 19, 2005

Looking To The Stars: EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW OF ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN #3

The following pages were sent to us by a source who would identify themselves only as “Nancy”. If accurate, the text that follows are pages taken from the upcoming All-Star Batman and Robin #3. We are very excited to bring this exclusive preview to you, our beloved readers, and hope you will enjoy what we present here.


Episode 3

FROM: Miller, F
TO Lee, J

Hey Jim

Let me say once again what a pleasure it is to be working with an artist of your caliber. I know it may be empty prose and many a critic has said, but I really do think we’re going to be the true Dynamic Duo on this book.

As I write this, we just got the projected sales figures on the Sin City DVD, so I’m feeling pretty hyped right now. Despite all the energy I have right now, what I’ve written here is a little bit more sedate. But even though this a little more low-energy than the first two, but I think you’ll be able to pull this off magnificently.

As always, call if you have any questions or thoughts. I think my notes are vague enough to allow you some creativity, but specific enough to explain the pictures in my head. I’ve limited the panel numbers when possible, but have indicated which pages are splashes and which aren’t.


PAGE ONE

BIG SPLASH. BATMAN WALKING DOWN A DIRTY ALLEY.

Batman (V/O): Walk down the right back alley in Gotham City, and you can find anything…


PAGE THREE TO FOUR

BATMAN LAYS IN A BED, WEARING ONLY HIS COWL AND A BED SHEET

Batman (V/O): The night’s as hot as hell. It’s a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town – I’m staring at a goddess. She’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more minute wondering how I’ve gotten this lucky. She smells like catnip and squeaky toys, the perfect woman… the Goddess. Selina. She says her name is Selina.

LONG SHOT OF SELINA IN DOORWAY FROM BEHIND, SHOWING HER WEARING NOTHING BUT A PURPLE THONG WITH A CAT TAIL COMING OFF THE TOP. THINK WHAT THOSE CATGIRLS AT THE CONS WEAR.

Selina: Rough night?

Batman: I had to fight some cops.

Selina: Oh, that’s lovely. You didn’t happen to kill any of them, did you?

Batman: Nah, I don’t think so, but they know they been in a fight, that’s for sure.


PAGES EIGHT TO NINE

BATMAN ENTERS THE ICEBURG LOUNGE, AND GRABS A WAITRESS

Batman: I’m looking for Barbara Gordon?

Waitress: Eyes to the stage, pilgrim. She’s just warming up.

SEVERAL BIG PANELS OF A GORGEOUS REDHEAD GODDESS WEARING NOT MUCH GRIDING AWAY ON A STAGE

Batman (V/O): Skinny Barbara Gordon. She grew up. She filled out.


PAGE THIRTEEN

BATMAN IS HOLDING DICK GRAYSON UP WITH ONE HAND, LOOKING HIM RIGHT IN THE EYES

Batman: It’s time to prove that you’re worth a damn. Sometimes that means dying, sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people.


PAGE FIFTEEN

BATMAN PLOWS THE BATMOBILE OVER A WHOLE LINE OF POLICE CARS

Batman (V/O): I love corrupt cops. No matter what you do to them, you don’t feel bad.


PAGE SEVENTEEN

BIG SPLASH. ROB GETS A RAZOR SHARP BATARANG THROUGH THE CHEST


PAGE EIGHTEEN

ROB: See, Don? It’s right through me.. Nuke me radical! Is Nasty!

DON: Hope Rob don’t say balls nasty.

ROB: Balls nasty!

DON: Eye it, leader! Something wrapped around it. Some kind of pipe.

HARVEY: Give it to me.

ROB: Don, this nuked me radical! Just look at it. It’s right through me, Don!

HARVEY: [reading the note] Batman, you fool.

ROB: Don, maybe somebody get pipe to medic for me or something? Can’t close the lines on this one, Don!

HARVEY: Out back. Everyone. Bring the women.

ROB: Don?


PAGE TWENTY-FOUR

BIG SPLASH OF BATMAN LOOKING DOWN ON THE CITY LIKE A PAGAN GOD.

Batman (V/O): What if I’m wrong? I’ve got a condition. I get confused sometimes. What if I’ve imagined all this? What if I’ve finally turned into what they’ve always said I would turn into? A maniac. A psycho killer.

EDITOR’S BOX

NEXT TIME; THAT WHITE BASTARD



Looking To The Stars is a critique/satire published by 411mania.com, and is not intended maliciously. 411mania.com has invented all names, words and situations in its stories, except in cases when public figures and fictional works are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody (permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988)). 411mania.com makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceding information.

Tune in next week. Same Matt time. Same Matt website.

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