Monday, August 16, 2021

Legends of Tomorrow: Season 6, Episode 12 - Bored on Board Onboard

 For a summary of the episode guide layout & categories, click here.


With Constantine's magic having overloaded Gideon's jump-drive, the team is forced to fly back to Earth the old-fashioned way to preserve the Waverider's energy. Tensions mount as the team try to keep themselves entertained, leading to a murder mystery themed game night. Unfortunately, things go awry when Constantine tries to make the game more interesting with a spell that places the players inside the game. Meanwhile, Mick and Gary, who were left out of the game, deal with an unexpected guest.


(the game and the movie), Jumanji (characters stuck in a game they have to win to escape) and the Critical Mass arc of Hellblazer.


It is unclear why the Legends can't use a Time Courier to return to Earth. (Presumably there may be a limit to how far they can travel in space, even if they can go anywhere in time.)


Matt Ryan slays as The Beast and Constantine.

Tala Ashe and Shayan Sobhian get some great interactions as Zari and Behrad.


The episode features some outstanding horror-movie style direction and imagery.

Trivia Of Tomorrow

John's interactions with his dark side resemble his encounters with the Demon Constantine from the Hellblazer comic - a being born of a ritual John worked to take the worst parts of himself and turn them into a different being. In this case, however, the process that created the Beast seems to have been accidental.


Without jumping and no other drains on the power, it will take the Waverider 3 weeks, 2 days and 21 hours to journey from Galaxy Lanes to Earth.

Gary says cocoa butter can be used to treat the itching common to those hosting the eggs of a Necrian.

John works a spell with a Gaelic incantation that resizes the robe he got Zari. This spell causes John to hurt his hand, but he is healed after drinking his blood potion. 

John works another spell with a Gaelic chant that redecorates the lab with candles and other things that make it look more like a yoga studio.

John casts a spell that places the Legends within the reality of the Beast Slayers game. The spell is linked to the rules of the game, but the rest of the gaps are filled in by John's imagination. This is why the mansion of the game board resembles his house.

Kayla tracked the Waverider by reverse tracking her pod detector which she notes, with annoyance, was attached to her ship before the Legends took it.

Necrian tentacles are a part of a Necrian's body but are also their own creatures, like earthworms and starfirsh arms. They are often given names, such as Lefty.

Zagurons are carrion creatures. 

According to Gary, male Necrians are submissive to their women and female Necrians have a "love grip" they can use to remove their eggs from a male host they presume to be an unfit parent. This means that Mick can't tell Kayla that he's pregnant for fear she might kill him to save her children or just eat his brain outright.

John works a spell with a Gaelic chant to try and take the Legends out of the game using deadly nightshade, pulverized whalebone and his blood potion.

Dialogue Triumphs

Zari: Wait, are we in actual space?
Nate: Yep.
Zari: Do I want to know why?
Constantine: Desperate times. The world was at stake. All that malarkey.

Behrad: Guess we're doing hot yoga. But in the interest of preserving the sanctity of this practice, I ask that you keep your pants on.
Constantine: Well, in the interest of achieving a higher state of consciousness, I must bare myself to the elements.
Zari: Come on, B. You know how he is.
Behrad: Sure, but I'd rather not know all of him right now, okay?

(Everyone is beginning to turn on Nate.)
Guys, besides Gary, who has been very quiet, by the way, I'm the only one who has any idea how to play this game.
Constantine: Not exactly, mate. We'll be fine without you. Don't you worry.
Spooner: So do we vote on Nate?
Zari: All in favor?
(Everyone except Nate and Behard raise their hands.)
Behrad: I abstain.
Sara: Doesn't matter. Don't need him. (in French accent) You have been accused.
(Thunder booms and a wolf howls as lighting flickers in the windows. Suddenly, Nate falls forward, a knife in his back. Everyone reacts with horror as they see, pinned on the knife blade, is a card which reads GUESS AGAIN.)

Sara: What if the longer the game goes on, the more realistic it becomes? Is anyone else starting to feel more like their character?
Spooner: I feel like shooting something, but that's normal.
Astra: Yeah, I wouldn't be able to tell either. 
Zari: Prima donna. (gasps) I do feel extra dramatic and quite squeamish.

Behrad: Splitting up is a cardinal sin to survival and creativity!

Behrad: I don't want to die in here. Maman and Baba will never know the truth about me, about us. If we get out of here, I'm coming clean with them.
Zari: Oh, please. Like you'd ever risk damaging Maman's view of her... (says something in Farsi)
Behrad: Oh? Maybe I should tell her how your magician boyfriend got you to drink wine.
Zari: You would not.
Behrad: You're right, I wouldn't. But how can you not see what John's doing here? He told us himself, he filled in the gaps of this illusion with his own imagination. I mean, this is some new level of a bad trip.
Zari: What is your problem with him?
Behrad: My problem is that he's being a jerk and you're not seeing it. Ever since he came back from the Fountain, he's been acting like an asshat jock on steroids.
Zari: Oh, working out your issues from high school much?
Behrad: If by that, you mean worrying about your choice in men, then yeah, I am. We need to call him out. He's the Beast. If we vote to accuse him, we can end this. 
Zari: I can't.
Behrad: Why not?
Zari: I love him.
Behrad: I've never heard you say that about anybody before.
Zari: Well, I've never... felt it. I can be myself with him, you know, no games, no pretense. He makes me happy.
Behrad: Have you told him how you feel?
Zari: No, no, that feels... very scary to be vulnerable to another person like that. I mean, can it even last, you know? You know how John is.
Behrad: Yeah, but... you gotta take that leap.
Zari: Okay, now you like him again?
Behrad: I never disliked him. I love the guy, but something is definitely off about him.

(John is having a coughing fit in the attic. He is suddenly joined by a hooded figure wearing a plague doctor mask. This is the Beast.)
Beast: You can end the game. You know how. You just can't do it. You won't do it.
Constantine: I've tried ending it.
Beast: By shooting back some magic potion number nine? Tsk, tsk, tsk. With every sip, you make this prison and me stronger. You're not in control of the magic, John. It's in control of you.
Constantine: Yeah, just do me a favor, right, and you kill me or piss off because I am done playing games.
Beast: No, you're not. You love this world. You love the power. You love me.
Constantine: Like hell I do.
(John lashes at the Beast and knocks its mask off. Underneath, it is John. The Beast laughs.)
Oh, don't look so surprised, John. I've always been here. You just never looked me in the eye before. You never wanted to confront the part of you that sabotaged all your relationships, doomed your lovers. The game made that possible. It made me possible, gave me a playground to sow destruction before your very eyes. Here I am, fueled by your new addiction and loving every moment of it. It's all tricks and lies. 
Constantine: I'll kill you, you bastard!

Constantine: Oh, what's a busted-up old codger like me done to deserve a woman like you?
Zari: I don't know, must be magic.


The episode continues immediately from the end of 611, with the Legends leaving Galaxy Lanes.

Zari 1.0 apparently beat Nate at bowling and promises him a rematch on their next date night.

Spooner hates high-heel shoes.

Zari 2.0 emerges from the Totem World and immediately runs off for some alone time with Constantine.

The Waverider's jump drive was damaged thanks to John's teleportation spell. 

Gary invites everyone to join him in a game of the Beast Slayers RPG. Sara and Ava say they need to focus on planning their wedding. 

Sara and Ava divide their wedding guest list into four groups. Group A is those they need to come. Group B is those they want to come, but it's okay if they can't. Group C is people they need to send an invitation to and pray they don't show up. Group D is people they shouldn't tell about the wedding until it is too late.

Barry Allen is in Group D.

Ava says that inviting Barry Allen to her and Sara's wedding will guarantee that a supervillain shows up to destroy it. This is a reference to the events of S308 and how the wedding or Barry Allen and Iris West was interrupted by Nazi soldiers from Earth-X.

Sara and Ava forbid the playing of video games or using the food replicator as excess power usage is increasing how long it takes them to get home.

Spooner is reading H.G. Wells' The War Of The Worlds.

Behrad grows suspicious about John based on his behavior in the hall, as he goes off to treat Zari to a spa-day on the ship.

Behrad holds a yoga class for Nate and Zari. John tries to take part, but leaves after Behrad stops him from performing yoga while naked.

Sara and Ava get into an argument over the guest list over how Ava included the actors who played her parents in Group A, but not Black Siren, the doppelganger of Sara's sister Laurel.

With everyone on edge on Day 3 of the three week journey, Sara orders everyone to play Beast Slayers with Gary.

Beast Slayers is a Gothic adventure roleplaying game where each player takes on the role of a guest at a dinner party only to be hunted by a mysterious beast. Once one of the players dies, they have to work together to identify the beast among them.

Gary takes on the role of the narrator. Ava plays the eccentric detective. Sara plays the black widow. Spooner plays a big game hunter. Constantine plays a consumptive doctor. Behrad plays a starving artist. Nate plays a wealthy foreigner. Zari plays a prima donna opera singer. Astra plays a reluctant soothsayer.

John works a spell that places everyone inside the game.  This leaves Gary alone, with the game figures changing to resemble the Legends. Despite this, Gary still apparently has control over the game.

Ava asks Sara if they should have John cater the wedding given the food he conjured into the game world is apparently amazing.

Behrad refuses to drink despite it being illusionary. Zari, on the other hand, agrees to try the wine John conjured up as part of the dinner.

Gideon picks up a distress beacon from an approaching ship. The noise of the alarm distracts Mick, who was working on a puzzle.

Mick's hair grew back overnight. This is apparently a sign that he's in the fourth quadmester of pregnancy. It is also a good sign, as it means the babies are healthy.

Mick recognizes the distressed ship as the one Bishop piloted. 

Sara and Ava gave orders not to use any systems needed to get them back to Earth before being taken into the game.

Mick insists that he is acting captain when Sara and Ava aren't around. Unfortunately, the distressed ship is already docking before he can make this point to Gideon and activate the weapons.

The ship turns out to be piloted by Kayla, who is not happy about having been abandoned on Bishop's planet by Mick back in 607.

The Beast Slayers game runs itself in Gary's absence.

Ava is the first person to be killed by The Beast. While she doesn't "die" she is left unable to speak.

Nate takes command of trying to puzzle out the mystery of the Beast, leading everyone to vote to accuse him. 

Nate dies after being stabbed in the back.

John begins to show signs of being consumptive, leading to the revelation that everyone is becoming their characters the longer they stay in the game world.

Sara is about to say something, when she too suddenly dies.

Nobody else has a beast card.

Kayla amputated her left tentacle, Lefty, after being stung by a Zaguron to prevent the poison from infecting her.

Mick uses the Waverider medbay to create a new tentacle for Kayla.

Kayla offers to fix the Waverider jump drive since her ship is on Earth.

Astra tries to use her soothsayer powers in the game to figure out who The Beast is. It doesn't work.

Spooner declares that Astra is the only person among the assembled Legends (i.e. Azara. Zari, Behrad and Constantine) that she trusts. Astra says she feels the same way.

Astra and Spooner wander off alone to hunt the Beast. They are the next to die.

Behrad and Constantine accuse each other of being the Beast. Zari refuses to choose between them. This leads John to go off to the attic alone, despite his becoming weaker from his TB.

Gary discovers that the MedLab is still drawing power after Kayla is healed. This leads to the discovery that "Lefty" is printing something.

Lefty strangles Gary into submission and takes his glasses. 

Kayla knocks Mick out, saying that she owes someone who saved her.

Mick tells Kayla he is pregnant before he blacks out.

Behrad decides to tell his parents the truth about what he's been doing with his life if he gets out of the game alive.

Zari admits that she truly loves John but is scared to admit it.

John is confronted by The Beast, which is made up of the dark aspects of his own mind.

Zari stabs the Beast in the back. This action frees everyone from the game world.

John blames Gary for the game getting messed up since the Beast wasn't any of them, according to everyone else.

When they get out of the game, they are on Earth, parked by Constantine's house.The entire ship has been shutdown and Gideon has to be rebooted.

The Legends see Lefty. Spooner later hunts it down and kills it.

Constantine leaves to chill in his house. Zari says she will come over later with his favorite tea.

Zari tells Behrad she will tell John about her feelings later.

Behrad goes to visit their parents, but changes his mind about telling them about his being a time traveler.

The other Legends find Gary and Mick, noting that Gary's glasses are missing and that Mick regrew his hair.

When Zari checks on Constantine, she finds a wound on his back corresponding to her attack on The Beast.

Sara hears the Space Girl song David Bowie wrote about her and follows it into a room. Though the scene stops before we see who is playing it, it seems clear that Bishop is back and Kayla grew him a new body.


Deep Space - 2021
Northumberland County, UK - 2021

Untelevised Adventures

Spooner catches Kayla's severed tentacle off-camera.

The Bottom Line

A darn-perfect bottle episode that seems to be establishing an epic send off for Constantine as the series tackles the one major Hellblazer story the series had yet to tackle.

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