Sunday, January 15, 2012

Skyrim: A Journal of War - Chapter Eighteen: Back To School.

From The Saga Of Matthias The Bather; Written by Sven
Matthias and his bride did leave Riften that very day, for while he loved Mjoll he could no longer neglect the duties of the Dragonborn. With the shield maiden at his back and her trusted companion Aerin in tow, the trio did set off for the ancient tomb Ustengrav - the resting place of the magical horn of Jurgen Windcaller...

Mjoll: Oh, Matthias - this is everything I dreamed of in a Honeymoon.
Me: Well, I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.
Mjoll: Oh, how could I not? Getting a chance to go right back into the field? Fighting undead monsters by my husband's side? And more... getting to aid you on a quest given to you by The Greybeards themselves!
Me: I do have one question, my darling.
Mjoll: Yes, dear?
Me: Did Aerin really have to tag along?
Mjoll: Why shouldn't he?
Me: Well... this IS supposed to be our time. And besides, how can I perform my... marital duties with another dude watching you all the time?
Mjoll: Oh, there will be time enough for that once the world is saved.
Me: I suppose. Hey, I think this is the final chamber before the horn...
Mjoll: Yes, it does have a certain grandeur. But wait - there appears to be a note on the stand there!
Me: What? Let me see...

Mjoll: Damn thieves! They are taunting you now, taking items that are rightful yours and trying to lure you into a trap.
Me: I ah... don't think the Thieves Guild is involved in this, beloved. They aren't in the habit of leaving notes behind to taunt the people they steal from, telling them where they can be found.
Mjoll: That's just what they want you to think!
Me: Ah, but they won't expect YOU to be coming to watch my back, will they?
Mjoll: Well, that's true...
Me: So we're off to Riverwood then!


Delphine: Welcome to the Sleeping Giant Inn. Will you and the woman be needing a room?
Me: Yes, we'd like your attic room, please.
Delphine: Our attic room, eh? Well... we don't have an attic room. But you can have the one on the left. Make yourself at home.
Me: Thank you, fair innkeeper.
Mjoll: So now what do we do?
Me: We wait.


Delphine: *slipping through door* So you're the Dragonborn I've been hearing so much about.
Mjoll: Back off, wench! He's my husband.
Me: Relax, dearest. I don't think she's come in to offer us a way to spice up our honeymoon.
Delphine: Indeed. But it;s not safe to talk here. We shall go to my room.
Mjoll: *growls*
Me: Down, girl. I take it you're the one responsible for the horn disappering?
Delphine: Yes, I have it here. You see, I needed to find the true Dragonborn. I think I may know where the dragons are coming from. But I need the True Dragoborn to prove that I'm right. Because only the Dragonborn can kill a dragon and absorb its' soul so that it can't come back. You have done that, haven't you?
Me: Oh yes... lots of times!
Delphine: Good. Then we shall make our way to Kynesgrove! And if you are the real Dragonborn, you should have no trouble slaying the dragon there.


Delphine: A dragon! And it's resurrecting another dragon with the Thu'um!
Me: Hey, I recognize that dragon!
Delphine: You what?
Me: Never mind that now! RUN!


Delphine: ... I don't believe it.
Mjoll: That's my man!
Me: NOW will you explain to me why you know all this and why you were so hell-bent on finding the Dragonborn?
Delphine: I am a member of The Blades. One of the last Blades. In times past we were the bodyguards of the emperors and dragonslayers. Now... we're not much of anything.
Me: Go on...

Delphine: I believe that the Thalmor - the Elven government - are behind the recent dragon resurrections.... somehow. I need to infiltrate their embassy to find out for sure. Now that I have you here, we can sneak in there and look for evidence.
Me: Woah! Woah! Woah! Hold on a second...
Mjoll: Indeed. My husband is far too honorable to sneak into another's home!
Me: Oh, I don't object to the sneaking in part. But I have a bunch of old men who are expecting me to take them this horn. And since they're the ones training me to be able to fight dragons AND they have the ability to make mountains collapse by saying "Boo!", I should probably go complete my training before they decide it's not worth waiting for their Chosen One and they decide to just destroy the whole sub-continent with a word.
Delphine: Indeed. Go finish your training. We can plan how to spy on the Thalmor later.


Arngeir: And so as it was written, The Dragonborn has returned to us with The Horn of Jorgen Windcaller. Come with me. It is time for us to recognize you formally as Dragonborn. Savior of Us All. Then I shall teach you the final word of the Unrelenting Force Thu'um.
Me: Is this going to involve a big, boring ceremony?
Arngeir: Oh, no, no, no. Well, a short one. More of a hazing than a ceremony, really.
Me: What?
Arengeir: Now, my brothers! Teach him what it is to shout at someone!
Me: Gah!

Arngeir: Meka Leka Hi Meka Hinei Ho?
Arngeir: Meka Leka Hi Meka Chani Ho?
Arngeir: You are now the Dovahkiin. Long live Arngeir. Now go, and never darken our towels again!

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