Heroes Anonymous #1 - A Review

Written by: Scott M. Gimple
Penciled by: A.J. Jothikumar & Bill Morrison
Inked by: Andrew Pepoy & Bill Morrison
Colored by: Serban Cristescu
Lettered by: Chris Ungar
Editor: Bill Morrison
Publisher: Bongo Comics

This book came out last week, but I didn’t get a chance to submit a review of it then. A grievous mistake on my part, and I hope that you all can forgive me for my cruelty in having deprived you of the splendor that is Heroes Anonymous.

The concept of the book is summed up in a simple header on the cover; Super Group Therapy. Yes, its superheroes talking about their problems and working out solutions together. Sounds pretty lame, doesn’t it? “Dear John” in tights. (And how many of you out there remember that show, anyway?)

Well, it might be lame… if that were the book. Amusing as I’m sure it might be to have some vaguely redrawn Wolverine-esque and Punisher-esque characters sitting in an office and breaking into tears as they are chastised for their anger management problems, that is not what this book is about.

What is it about then? In this case, the issue centers around a guy named Toby. Toby was once Attaboy, sidekick to Gothtropolis’s protector; The Midknight. Forced out of heroism after his attack on a corrupt mayor accidentally killed beloved city duck mascot “Mr. Wackyquacky”, he wandered the world for a while trying to find himself before coming back to Gothtropolis, moving in with some friends who knew nothing of his career as a hero and got a job as a convenience store clerk.

So it’s Kevin Smith’s “Nightwing: Year One”? Is that what this book is?

Not even close, True Believer. And quit interrupting me when I’m having a rhetorical conversation with you!

Okay. The story does have something of the feel of a sequel to Clerks. Toby is told repeatedly that he is wasting his potential; both by his friends, who are trying to get him to take the SAT and get into college and by other superheroes, who are trying to get him back into a costume. But Toby is content, if not satisfied with life until a mysterious supervillain starts destroying TV transmitters across town, causing him to miss his favorite TV show. A post to a newsgroup helps him get a copy of the episode he missed from a woman named Lynn. The two quickly become friends and then "more than" that and Lynn indirectly helps Toby to realize that with great power comes great responsibility (or something like that) and that we all have a responsibility to use our talents to the fullest.

The artwork aids the aforementioned Smithesque feel, with Jothikumar’s style reminding me of a somewhat more detailed Jim Mahfood. The inks are suitable atmospheric, with the yellow on white and black coloring giving the whole story the feel of a classic comic found in an attic, despite the modern setting.

I really enjoyed this story, finding Toby very relatable. Of course this may be because I too am a twenty-something trapped in a retail job who could be “so much more” according to a lot of other people who are also wasting their lives as near as I can tell. But it is the little contradictions like that which makes the book so funny and wonderful and ultimately… true to life.

X-Men Unlimited #50 - A Review

Written by: Kazuo Koike and Kenjo Kaji
Penciled by: Paul Smith
Inked by: Paul Smith
Colored by: Brad Anderson
Lettered by: Randy Gentle
Editor: C.B. Cebalski
Publisher: Marvel Comics

Once again, somewhere in Texas…

*sound of a log-in to AIM chime*

DARKLORD69: Hello, Matt.

DBowiefan34: Oh hey… sorry for the lag. The workload for this summer class is kicking my-

DARKLORD69: I need you to do something special this week. X-Men Unlimited #50.

DBowiefan34: What? But you know how overworked I am! Ignoring the classwork I’m behind on, half the staff at my shop has taken the week off for GenCon. I’m the only experienced salesman left until Saturday!

DARKLORD69: You’re the only one who can do this, Matt. I need one of your funny intros for this one.

DBowiefan34: What? You mean, the ones where you call me, do the Darth Vader act and I produce more whine than the French countryside?

DARKLORD69: Yeah.

DBowiefan34: I dunno. I’m not sure those are going over that well. I mean, nobody ever writes me to say those are funny.

DARKLORD69: I think they’re amusing.

DBowiefan34: Yeah, but it’s not real. I mean, we’ve never talked on the phone! We just chat through AIM and e-mail. That’s it.

DARKLORD69: But it’s that whole comedy ethos thing! We’re tapping into an archtype as old as.. well, Peter Parker and J. Jonah Jameson. Perry White and Jimmy Olsen. Me the petty editor tyrant. You the long suffering everyman!

(Two minutes idle)

DBowiefan34: You’re still upset about Doom getting killed aren’t you?

(Two minutes idle)

DARKLORD69: *sobs* Yes… yes, I am!

DBowiefan34: And it would make you feel better if I did the “cowering in fear of the evil overlord” act for you?

DARKLORD69: *sobs* If you don’t mind?

DBowiefan34: *sighs* Couldn’t you just get your girlfriend to dress up like Jean Grey or something? Wouldn’t that cheer you up more?

DARKLORD69: *sobs* She won’t wear the wig….

DBowiefan34: Okay… fine. But I want to try something different. More truthful of how our working relationship is.

DARKLORD69: Will it still be amusing?

DBowiefan34: Oh, I have an idea that has me laughing already…

(Several hours, one trip to the comic store and one call investigating the cost of sending an escort in a Jean Grey costume to St. Louis…)


Okay. Now I know that Wolverine has some background in Japan and that some writers have made great play of his past, his roninesque code of honor and the rich and beautiful history that encompass all of the Japanese culture and the warrior tradition. Sadly, most writers have ignored this and crapped out a lot of stories with Wolverine cutting up ninjas.

For those of you who actually enjoy this kind of story, I can highly recommend this issue for you. For those of you who, like me, stopped thinking having ninjas just for the sake of having ninjas was cool about the time you discovered how wonderful girls are… I recommend rereading Birds of Prey, Outsiders, Teen Titans, Futurama, Lucifer… or indeed, anything else that came out this week.

The plot is generic and could feature any martial arts hero; not just Wolverine. Logan is walking through a village. Why? No reason.

He sees a woman get attacked my several henchman and does nothing. She kicks butt and is approached by the grand bad guy. Now Logan steps in, saves her and finds out that the bad guy is after the woman’s sword, which is a “Magical Artifact of Great Power” TM. Wolverine winds up using the sword, finds out that it traps the souls of those it slays and could be very bad in the hands of someone evil.

The bad guy shows up, Logan fights… bad guy is absorbed by the sword since he is too weak to confront his own demons (which Logan is quite adept at) and the story ends with Logan destroying the One Ring in the fires of Mount Doom… er, destroys the magic sword in the fires of an iron foundry.

The artwork, simply put, is horrid…even for an anthology book with a rotating creative team like X-Men Unlimited. The pencils look unfinished at points and the inks are sloppy. Still, for a story so heavily influenced by the chop-saki world of Kung Fu movies and Manga comics, it is a pleasant surprise that they used an artist with a more Western artistic style (as I assume Paul Smith is a Western name).

I openly admit to being a bit overly harsh, but I am not the intended audience for this book. I’ve never heard of the writers involved or the artist, but what I’ve seen here makes me ill-inclined to seek out any more of their work. I’m not a fan of anthology books on the whole. And the last thing this world needs right now is more ADWS. (Another Damned Wolverine Story!) Thankfully, this is the last issue of the series and it is no big loss to the world.

Looking To The Stars: Random Thoughts

First of all, my apologies for my lack of a column last week. Those of you who didn’t notice, five points from your house. Those of you who actively cheered my absence and hoped that it was a sign of my retirement, fifty points from your house.

Yes, I did read the new Harry Potter book. Rather liked it, thank you.

Anyway, personal issues with class, work and family concerns kept me rather busy last week and I missed being able to give my two cents on a number of items in the comic news and commenting upon the writings of some of my colleagues.

To that end, here are some Random Thoughts….

1. The Hulk

Still haven’t seen it yet. Been too busy, but I heard it wasn’t that great and the special effects were horrid. Will write a full review once I do see it.

2. LXG

Did manage to get a night free to see it. Rather liked it, despite it being nothing like the book and totally getting the story of Dorian Grey wrong. Still, if you aren’t a total fanboy or literature geek and take it on the level of an adaptation and not a translation, you won’t find a better movie.

3. Mark Waid’s Departure From Marvel.

Based on the writings of Paul Sebert and Jesse Baker, I am one of the few who feels that Mark Waid’s firing from Marvel will go down at the latest nail in the coffin that Bill Jemas is making for himself.

Simply put, Waid’s run on Fanastic Four has revitalized a long-dull title and anyone who says otherwise must not be reading the same comics that I am. Personally, I have no idea where this whole “Waid is a prima donna” thing came from and I’ve only heard nice things about the man. But I could care less about the personality of a writer, so long as they deliver a good story. And I don’t think any comments about Waid’s ability to deliver good stories can be taken seriously.

On that note…

4. The DC Coup De Tat.

DC just snatched up Grant Morrison, Jeph Loeb, Tim Sale and Greg Rucka with exclusive contracts and I couldn’t be happier. Okay, so I will miss hearing all the X-Men fans complain about not understanding Morrison or the Wolverine fans who don’t like the new detective-based stories and want to go back to Wolverine slashing up ninjas. And goodness knows I’m not going to object to any more Tim Sale/Jeph Loeb team-ups.

But this isn’t enough DC. You need to nail down more of the writers with exclusive contracts. Mark Waid is free of Marvel now and is already working for you on Empire and Birthright. Give that man a contract and put him and Morrison to work on Superman, like they wanted to do a few years back. I’ve been reading Superman and I don’t care HOW radical their proposal was- it can hardly be worse than the Supergirl daughter from the future story that can be going on right now.

For that matter, give Gail Simone a contract too. I can’t keep Birds of Prey on the shelf at my comic shop and goodness knows she’s just as worthy of keeping around as Geoff Johns and Judd Winick.

And Speaking of which.

5. The Judd Winick/DC Pimp Slap

Okay Judd. I defended you when you turned Kyle Rayner into a clone of yourself; successful artist loved by the media because most of your stories, continuity issues aside, were pretty good. I sat through all of Blood and Water, which started out brilliant and unique but degraded into another generic World of Darkness vampire brawl comic. But I cannot be silent about your turning Oliver Queen into the man-whore everyone thinks he is.

As anyone who read my recent“Your Cheating Heart” article or the last ten issues of Green Arrow could tell you, Oliver Queen may be a world class flirt but he has never once cheated on Dinah Lance. Hell, not five issues ago he was ready to propose to her! And now he’s had a one night stand with the niece of a friend for no readily apparent or believable reason other than “he’s a horn dog.”

Then again, what IS the status between them now? Birds of Prey hasn’t said anything about Dinah’s dating status. She dumped Dr. Midnite to figure things out in JSA, but nothing has been said there. And the last I checked in Green Arrow the two of them were dating and maybe back together. Smith definitely suggested they were at the end of his last story. Hester pretty much ignored it, except to show Ollie preparing to propose to her. And Winick? Canary wasn’t mentioned once until Ollie was making an excuse to cover what he was doing to Connor.

So maybe Ollie isn’t really cheating… but it sure makes me crawly thinking he might be. So could someone from DC please make a definitive statement one way or the other on where my favorite couple stands?

And as long as I’m feeling combative.

6. Jesse Baker: The Anti-Starman

Fellow 411 writer Jesse Baker has revealed himself to be the dreaded Anti-Starman. Yes, this strange being from a parallel anti-matter universe has declared J. Michael Strayczinski’s run on Spider-Man to be “hit and miss”, Mark Waid’s The Flash run to have missed the finish line and generally shown himself to disagree with me on every major point of comicdom.

Except that Rawhide Kid #1 wasn’t funny. We both agree on that. Take that, Ron Zimmerman! Ha!

Seriously, Jesse and I do disagree on some books but we get along just fine. If nothing else, we have someone we can argue comics with and that bond goes much deeper than any disagreement over whether or not Mark Waid writing Superman would be a good thing.

Tune in next week. Same Matt Time. Same Matt Website.

Dork Tower #23 - A Review

Written by: John Kovalic
Penciled by: John Kovalic
Inked by: John Kovalic
Colored by: N/A
Lettered by: John Kovalic
Editor: John Kovalic
Publisher: Dork Storm Press

The Cover? A parody of “The Matrix: Reloaded”, about two months too late to be topical.

The Plot? Character development of a character who needs no depth… and indeed, gets little depth added to her.

The end result? Not up to the usual standard, but still amusing on the whole.

For those of you who haven’t had the good fortune to discover it, John Kovalic’s “Dork Tower” is the most consistently funny comic book to deal with the subject of fandom. Gamers (of the video AND dice-rolling variety) are the most common focus, but science-fiction TV shows and even sports are addressed through the dorks and geeks making up the cast.

The book’s continuing plot for the past few months has centered around the romantic triangle between gamemaster/cartoonist Matt; Kayleigh ( his on-again/off-again girlfriend from Hell, who mocks all his hobbies) and Gilly ( a perky Goth girl who is seemingly Matt’s perfect woman).

To make a long story short, Matt and Gilly met about two minutes after Matt got back together with Kayleigh way back in Issue #13. This after months of “almost” meeting each other. Matt and Gilly fell instantly in love but the whole thing was shelved as the two tried to avoid each other after Matt said Gilly’s name instead of Kayleigh’s at the absolute worst moment. The past few issues have focused on individual characters dealing with the aftermath of the break-up and the end result is Matt is now ready to win back the woman he lost. To the dread of all his gamer friends, the woman in question is Kayleigh, and not Gilly.

This brings us to the current issue, where we find out a bit more about Kayleigh’s past after a not-to-subtle tribute to the writings of Stan Lee and a certain curmudgeon of an editor and I don’t mean our own Daron K. We find out the specifics of Kayleigh’s privileged background (daughter of an ambassador, school in Europe, etc.), how she is unsatisfied with her job as a small town newspaper writer compared to that of her doctor siblings and how she wants to make someone suffer for her miserable life. Naturally, this leads to her calling Matt and asking him out to go clubbing that night. He accepts, and as the issue closes his friends move into action and arrange to get Gilly into the same club that night.

Kovalic fumbles the ball a bit here. Kayleigh has always acted as a one-note, shallow example of everything negative in women that fanboys put up with for in exchange for a little feminine attention and has worked well in that role. It is not impossible or unwanted for her to be developed past that but all the attempts to develop Kayleigh into a three deminsional character in the early half of the issue seem a bit pointless since by the end of the comic she is back to being the evil plotting shrew out to change Matt into a non-geek or make him miserable.

Still, many of the past “character” issues have been a bit slow on plot but built up to something very funny and poignant indeed. It is my hope, and indeed my belief, that we are building to something like that with this issue and that even though this issue was a bit light on the laughs (though I can relate to the scene of Kayleigh going to the liquor cabinet to get “important journalistic supplies”), that the next issue will be something special.

Until then, I shall content myself with the tri-weekly strips Kovalic posts at http://www.dorktower.com. I advise you all to do the same as well. You have nothing to lose but your time and nothing to risk but the splitting of your sides.

Death: At Death's Door TPB - A Review

Written by: Jill Thompson
Penciled by: Jill Thompson
Inked by: Jill Thompson
Colored by: N/A
Lettered by: Jill Thompson
Editor: N/A
Publisher: Vertigo Comics

Somewhere in Texas, in a loft apartment, several days before Summer Midterms…

*RING RING*

Starman: (tiredly) Hello?

Daron: Greetings, Minion!

Starman: *sighs* Greetings, Dark Overlord…

Daron: What is wrong, Minion #38601? You seem displeased. Surely you are not irritated by the personal attentions of your editor?

Starman: Huh? Oh, no, no, no. Just that… well, I have midterms and term papers due this week, my acting troupe is having more problems with our theater and the upper management at the comic store I work at seem to have forgotten that we are not in the business of selling whatever crap the Japanese have convinced our children is cool this week.

Daron: Ah yes. This emphasis upon all things Japanese is certainly a weighty concerns for all of us.

Starman: No kidding! I mean, take most of this Manga. The plotting is barely coherent at the best of times, the art lacks even the basest understanding of proper human anatomy and intricate characterization is sacrificed for pointless sex and mindless violence.

Daron: Indeed. That is why I have such a book for you to review this week…

Starman: (gasps) Oh no! No way in HELL am I touching X-Men: Phoenix, Part Two!

Daron: Minion…

Starman: I mean, what is holding that costume on anyway? Dental floss? And did they make metal breastplates with strategic dents hammered into them or is she somehow denting the metal with her…

Daron: Minion…

Starman: And the book doesn’t even have anything to do with X-Men! Or Phoenix. Or anything but gratuitous cheesecake poses and tentacle-rape scenes….

Daron: MINION! Cease thy ranting for the moment. I did not wish for you to review THAT book. No. It was my intent that you were to peruse the new book “At Death’s Door”.

Starman: (long pause) The one based on Neil Gaiman’s “The Sandman”?

Daron: Yes.

Starman: The one with everything done by Jill Thompson, who has done more to shape the Endless than anyone but Neil Gaiman himself?

Daron: That is correct.

Starman: (longer pause) Okay. I’m not expecting much, but at least it won’t be tentacle softcore…. I hope.

*CLICK*

(One trip to the comic store and a 400 word essay on the ethics of modern librarians later)

There are few things I would rather do than read a new book set in the world of Neil Gaiman’s Endless. There are few things I would rather not do than read any Manga comic. It has been my experience that, as stated above, the vast majority of Manga is either mindless violent crap geared towards young boys or mindlessly violent crap with lots of big eyes, small mouths and girls in sailor uniforms geared toward dirty old men of all ages.

I’m sure there are a few Manga comics that this doesn’t describe but I am speaking only of my experience with the genre, general as it is. And I am sure that I am going to get “Endless” letters (ha!) from those of you who do like Manga-driven stories and artwork and that I will likely get slaughtered by some overweight girl in a pleated skirt who will hunt me down, do her Sailor Moon impression and “punish me” for my wickedness.

That said, let me say next… that I LOVED this book!

The plot of “Death’s Door” is a series of lost scenes from the original “Seasons of Mist” story, giving this whole comic the feel of the written equivalent of a director’s cut edition of a movie. Death popped in and out of “Seasons” three times and this story tells us what she was doing between her appearances in the original Gaiman story.

Previous experience with “The Sandman” is unneeded, but does add another level to the story as we get to see certain key moments of “Seasons” acted out in a different art-style. For example, Desire sprouts cat-ears as he/she becomes catty and insulting towards Dream. Speaking of which, I must marvel at Thompson’s ability to alter her usual style (which I love) into something more Mangaesque. Most artists are unable to perform such a trick and Thompson does it perfectly.

And artwork aside, this comic does blend seamlessly with Gaiman’s original vision of the series, with some of the original dry humor that made him famous. Consider for example, Desire’s rattling off a list of people, “who don’t enjoy a good party” after Delirium states that there’s nobody who doesn’t enjoy a good party. This takes the edge off some of the more slapstick humor, such as Delirium’s supersonic hyperactive movements, which may grate on the nerves of more traditional Sandman enthusiasts. There are even moments when the elements of both comics are mixed perfectly, such as a subplot involving a certain dead writer who falls in love with the dumpy and depressed Despair.

The independent comic snob in me is pleased by what he sees in this little volume. “At Death’s Door” is a worthy edition to the Sandman mythos, so all of my fellow indie comic snobs should take a look at this… even if it is a *twitch… twitch* .. Manga.

And for you Manga fans out there, this book is an excellent introduction to the world of Neil Gaiman’s “The Sandman”. The book even has an appearance list for the character of Death in the back, as well as a reading list of all “The Sandman” Trade Paperbacks. And, all Gaiman fans should take note, a summary of the stories to be told in the upcoming “Endless Nights” book is also in the back.