Friday, June 7, 2013

Superman II, The Richard Donner Cut - Live Tweet Commentary

In anticipation of the upcoming Man of Steel movie, I decided to do another Live Tweet commentary upon Richard Donner's cut of Superman II.

To save space, the hashtag for this will be #SupermanIIRDCut. #Superman #SupermanII #RichardDonner

Those of you curious how the #RichardDonner cut differs from the original release of #SupermanII? … #SupermanIIRDCut

Okay. Not a complete film. Some test shots included. #SupermanIIRDCut
I miss the old @DCComics logo with the swooping star. #SupermanIIRDCut

Dedicated to #ChristoperReeve. Classy. #SupermanIIRDCut

In the words of Crow T. Robot, "Haven't we seen this one before?"

As before, still love how Brando pronounces "Crypt-Tin".

"You will bow down before me, Jor-El! Both you and then one day your heirs!" Foreshadowing, much?

Boy, Zod and company became all sedate watching their planet blow up.

Remember kids! says knowledge is power! So study hard and be evil!

Quick question, math geeks. What are the odds of Superman randomly hitting that... whatever Zod & Co are trapped in?

And here we are.... 8 and 1/2 minutes in and... CREDITS!

Obligatory comment on how awesome the score is.

*cheers at the Siegel and Shuster credit*

And now... a bowling ball in space!

Bah! without a bow tie? That's like the 11th Doctor without a bow tie!

#MargotKidder doesn't get enough credit for playing with pure nerve. Especially in this movie.

I just love Clark trying to hunch-over and scrunch in as Lois talks about Superman's broad shoulders.  

Lois jumping out a window to see if Clark will save her? Classic. And awesome.

The sequence of Clark subtly saving Lois is epic.

"Lois? Oh, she just stepped out for a moment." Only you and , Clark.  

That would be the basis for a great game /w stealth missions where Clark has to subtly use his powers w/out blowing his cover.

Meanwhile, at NASA, somebody is playing Pong.  

Oh, for the day when that crack about the two astronauts getting engaged just confuses everyone.  

"It looked like a girl!" Insert heavenly body joke here.  

Okay, how the hell does Zod know how to speak Russian?  

I know he could learn the language super-fast (pun intended) but where the heck would be be able to do so?  

"a planet with only one sun... a yellow sun..." Since when has Krypton had two suns? I thought it just had Rao?  

I just love Luthor rocking the ascot with his prison uniform. He was a real swinger!  

 Niagara Falls. Slowwwwwwly I turn....  

Knowing Lex, I'm amazed he didn't have Miss Tessmacher pulling a dog sled.  

You'd think the Fortress of Solitude would have better security. Even if it IS hard to get to...  

So... this was Lex Luthor's brilliant plan? Break into Superman's house and flip through his family album?  

You know, if General Zod's coup was the worst thing Krypton had to endure... the Kryptonians had it easy.  

So Lex finds out there's three Kryptonian baddies out there somewhere. Starts planning to become a toady?  

The real would start plotting how to take their powers for himself or how to destroy them.

The Fortress of Solitude did have a bathroom. Suggesting that bathrooms on Krypton are quite similar to those on Earth.

Either that, or among his many other acts of brilliance, Jor-El was able to code a crystal to generate pipes and a toilet.

"Only one ride to a customer." Should have had a kid in the background start screaming that they were next.  

So this is Planet Hoo-sten?  

Love the interplay between Clark and Lois here. And Lois' smug smirk as Clark is playing the goof.  


No Snakes Were Actually Set On Fire In The Making Of This Film. We Think. Probably.  

What we don't get to see - Superman taking Lois Lane to Paris and Rome BEFORE taking her by the Fortress of Solitude.  

Hey wait... I thought Superman didn't drink! Or is that just when he's flying?  

Does alcohol even affect ?  

You know... Lois and Clark's hair looks remarkably unmessed for two people who just got done... um... launching the rocket.  

So why does Clark have to give up his powers? We just proved he and Lois can do it without things going all Niven.  

Or were he and Lois just spooning naked? I know the Singer movie said otherwise but...  

Hey, wait a second... if Superman erased Lois's memory of everything... does she even remember having sex with Superman?  

And in the movie... does THAT Lois have any idea how she got pregnant?  

Gah! Too many questions and one more reason to hate ! Back to  

"What a backward culture... where the men wear the ribbons." Hey, I don't recall any women wearing ribbons on Krypton.  

So... how the hell did Lois and Clark get to a car rental place from the North Pole without him having powers?  

Okay, I know the Fortress of Solitude isn't LITERALLY at the North Pole. Hell, it's probably not that far north.  

Has there ever been an official location of the Fortress of Solitude? Alaska? Canada? Sounds like a question for  

@SizzlerKistler  - Originally it was in the Arctic Circle or even simply "the North Pole." First post-crisis version was Antarctica. Then he made a new one in the Arctic Circle, which temporarily was above the Daily Planet. & had a secondary one in Peru.

I remember the one in Peru, oddly enough. Thank you, sir!

WTF... the soda jerk is holding back Lois when the bully is about to smack her?

This whole movie is just one case of bad timing after another...  

If Superman had thrown that missile a few seconds earlier or later... If he hadn't given up his powers RIGHT NOW....  

And, here comes Lex, trying to weasel his way into Zod's good graces.  

So what happened to Miss Tessmacher between Lex leaving the Fortress of Solitude and Lex showing up at The White House?  

My theory? Lex ate her on the way back from The North Pole.  

What? We saw the World's Greatest Criminal Mastermind forgot to pack rations on his snowmobile.  

"Superman... thank God, I mean... GET HIM!" He's nothing like the real Lex, but I still love Movie Lex.  

Here, in a nutshell, is the difference between common people in the DC Comics and Marvel Universes.  

DC Universe - people look up in slack-jawed wonder as the heroes and villains fight, stopping only to cheer the heroes.  

Marvel Universe - they look up in slack-jawed annoyance & curse at the heroes for causing a traffic jam.  

Superman used a mirror to reflect back Zod's heat vision. Zod still has all his hair.  

So much for THAT theory on how Superman shaves.  

You'd never see a cigarette truck in the background of a superhero movie today. Just saying.  

This is the part of the movie with all the product placement in the billboards being tossed around  

Hey! There's a theater showing Evita!  

"They killed Superman! Let's get them!" Lot of heart, people in the DC Universe.  

Naturally, Superman isn't dead. More powerful than a locomotive, remember? That was a mid-size bus.

"Why do you say this to me when you know that I will kill you for it?" Great line.  

See, I like this whole bit. Shows Superman actually using his brain over his muscles.  

That and depending on the one thing in the universe more constant than gravity - Lex Luthor will always double cross you.  

"Take my hand. Swear eternal loyalty to Zod". And then tell me I'm pretty.  

Nothing quite so funny as Non trying to fly, making that face... and then falling to his death.  

So... yeah. Superman just straight up murdered Zod. And Lois pushed Ursa off a cliff!  

So... Superman flies out of the Fortress of Solitude, carrying Lois. No sign of Luthor. Then he blows up the Fortress.  

Did Superman just blow up Lex Luthor too? Great Rao!  

Really, is there any reason apart from the status quo Superman and Lois CAN'T have a relationship?  

I mean, Lois clearly understands he has to go help people, so date nights will be weird. And shagging is on the table.  

Perry White even smokes when he's brushing his teeth!  

Honestly, it's for the best. Because the power of that scene is kinda undercut by Superman going back in time. Again.  

So yeah... the whole movie never happened. Except Lex Luthor is about to break out of jail and go to the Fortress again.  

Pizza at 9:10 am? Sounds like my typical breakfast.  

I think Clark is dressed like Brad Majors from here on purpose!  

And... there we have it. Credits where Credits is due.  

Superman and Lois outright kill four people between them,. But Superman reverses time so it never happened. So ok!  

Final credit? A note that things have changed and Richard Donner wouldn't make the movie with fur coats or smoking today. 

I also watched the unused footage. Yes, there was some. Two bits of note.

First, the US Arctic Patrol arrests Lex Luthor and takes him away before Superman blows up the Fortress of Solitude.  

So apparently the Fortress of Solitude is in the USA. Somewhere.  

Second, there's a clip of Lex and Miss Tessmacher heading south form the Fortress of Solitude.

We still don't see her arrive safely in civilization, so my cannibalism theory is still valid.  

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