Saturday, January 19, 2013

FAME: Taylor Swift - A Review

I thought I was prepared. Foolishly, I had thought myself ready. There was no way it could be that bad, I told myself.  But though I had swum in the dark seas of Bluewater Productions before, nothing could prepare me for the horror that was FAME: Taylor Swift


Her heart's been broken so often, Tony Stark had to give her an arc reactor.

Usually, the problem with the artwork in Bluewater Productions graphic biographies is that they appear to be images pulled from Google which were then run through the Cartoonize filter in Photoshop.  That's not the case here.  I honestly believe artist Eric Adrian Marquez drew every single page of this book... because a computer would not produce work this sloppy.


The artwork in this book is not so much sub-par as it is unfinished.  Many panels - mostly the ones depicting groups of people - lack any inking other than a solid black outline around Taylor Swift herself.  Even then, the details of her features are not fully inked and what little inking there is appears to have been applied with a black Crayola marker! 


The writing is just as bad.  Awkward, run-on sentences that mix tenses are the rule - not the exception.  And for an extra slice of horror, consider this - Bluewater Productions is involved in several literacy promotion programs


Good news, Rob Liefeld! We finally found someone even worse at drawing legs and feet than you!

Why?  Why did they publish this?  How could they publish this?  How could anyone with an ounce of artistic spirit or human decency expose the public to something like this?


Why they chose to draw Joe Jonas as an offensive Asian stereotype, I have no idea.

I don't think this comic was created by humans for the purposes of entertainment.  I think it was created by the servants of beings from beyond to alter our perceptions and open the doorways for their dark masters.  Gaze upon the poorly-rendered face of Ellen Degeneres and know their true names!


IA IA CTHULHU FHTAGN! IA IA CTHULHU FHTAGN!

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