Thursday, January 15, 2009

Thoughts On Final Crisis: Final Crisis #6

WARNING The following comic synopsis contains descriptions of sheer randomness and sheer awesome glory far in excess of the daily recommend dosage. Consult your family physician or witch doctor before reading this comic.

p. 1-3 - Oh yeah. Superman WAS taken away a few issues ago to deal with this, wasn't he? I completely failed to notice he wasn't around the last issue or two.

Still, this does lead to Crowning Moment of Awesome #1 - Brainiac 5 gives Superman access to the Controller's perfection of the Guardian's technology - a machine that turns thoughts into things. No projections. No hardlight copies. Actual things. Of course Superman is about to fade out of existence within a minute of them getting to said device and the Inertron Shield(If Jack Kirby didn't create that, it sure sounds like one of his ideas) that holds it in check.

p. 4-5 - The new Tattooed Man decides to become a hero. Dinah - being as kick-ass as she should be - makes him an Honorary JLA Member and then reaffirms that means that "now you're taking orders from me." Crowining Moment of Awesome #2 Too bad the bad guys show up at this point just as Wally's kids get done raiding the JLA armory.

p.6-9 - If anybody cares, Evil Mary Marvel is - despite previous appearances in other comics- wearing black underwear under her far too short skirt. Sensible bikini underwear, no less. And yes - it has come to this - a Supergirl/Evil Mary Marvel catfight complete with "Slut/You're calling ME a slut?" dialogue. Also, Liberty Belle and Hourman are cool.

p.10-11 - Here's Crowning Moment of Awesome #3 Tawny/Tawky Tiger starts wailing on trapped in a tiger-man body Kalibak. And oh thank heavens I can go on living (note the heavy sarcasm) ... we now know that Supergirl is - despite previous appearances in other comics - wearing blue underwear under her far too short skirt.

p.12-13 - So Freedy Freeman does what someone should have done in Countdown (why didn't he do that? Oh yeah... he was busy being Judd Winick's bitch in a comic everyone is trying to forget) and shouts Shazam! while holding Mary, zapping them both and turning her back to her normal - and very mortified at what has been happening the last few years - self.

p.14 - And.... the tiger-men all follow Tawny/Tawky now. Coolness.

p.15-17 - Finally, an explanation. That weird tatoo/symbol that Shiloh's team of Japanese superhero wannabees are all wearing (as well as the "circuit" Tattooed Man copied is a symbol in the New God language that is capable of blocking/short-circuiting the Anti-Life equation. It means "Freedom From Restriction". Trust Mister Miracle to know that one, eh? And we finally get a rundown of the different team members and what their powers are.

Yes, cheesy as it is, I still have to laugh at Superbat - who has the power of being so rich he can do anything.

And, oh yeah, Wonder Woman and the rest of the new furies show up and start beating up the JSA.

p.18-19- And here is Crowning Moment of Awesome #4 - sure to bring a smile to 's face - Dinah attempts to win Ollie free of the power of Anti-Life with the power of True Love. And when that fails, she smacks the hell out of him.

The sad thing is this is STILL the least Ollie has been beat up in a long time.

Anyway, the tatoo shorts out the Anti-Life control somewhat. Not that it matters since the big red energy wave is starting to envelope the space around Earth and The Watchtower.

p.20-21 - This does not get a Crowning Moment of Awesome because this is way too out of left field to really seem planned or even hinted at. Basically, we find out Checkmate's plan for evacuating the Earth to another Universe (it involves both Atom's riding gravitons), assuming the psychics can't purge the Anti-Life effect from the minds of all the people on Earth and the mystics can't contact The Spectre to do something about all this. And, oh yeah, there's a secret room where they are operating on the evil Nazi Supergirl from a parallel Earth that doesn't officially exist. And the want Rene Montoya to go to the next universe to organize a Checkmate branch there. Seriously.

p.22-23 - Crowning Moment of Awesome #5 - Luthor and Dr. Sivana both independently come up with a plan to deal with Libra, while planning on the other one having come up with a plan to come up covering the eventualities the other one didn't bother to deal with.

p.24-25 - They pretty much confirm what was already hinted at before - Barry Allen hasn't died yet but has been outrunning Death for the better part of a decade. Crowning Moment of Awesome #6. And referring back to a story that Mark Millar wrote (but Grant Morrison probably had a hand in planning) they all but confirm that The Black Flash who chases after speedsters who are about to die is just another form of Kirby creation The Black Racer.

p.26-27 -Crowning Moment of Awesome #7. Batman makes a one in a lifetime exception regarding his policy on guns... so he can shoot Darksied with the god-killing bullet that killed Orion. And he beats an Omega Beam to do it. Barely.

p.28-29 -Well, I DID say barely, didn't I?

p.30-31 -Hawkman goes all creepy-stalker about Hawkgirl again - something Geoff Johns managed to avoid quite easily when he wrote the character. I'm just saying. Jimmy Olsen tries to call Superman with some woman who... looks like Lois, but isn't she in the hospital? The Green Lanterns ride the wave of destructive energy to Earth with Hal declaring that even if they die trying to reach Earth, they are not abandoning their people to that. Metron is talking with... I think, the exiled Monitor... coordinating what is happening next and "heralding the arrival of the 5th World - The Age of Men As Gods". And... oh yes... the demonic fury Wonder Woman says "Look, Up In The Sky!" as everything starts to go red and evil...

p.32-33 -It's Superman. And he. Is. Pissed! Heat vision blasts the heck out of everything, knocks Supergirl out of the air with the explosive fury of his wake... as Hourman and Liberty Belle look on and basically say "Wow... we're screwed" as the sky turns red.

p.34 -And... well, it's an iconic shot. Superman holding someone's dead body while looking pissed. But we've never before seen it with the smoking corpse of Batman.

No comments:

Post a Comment