How can you stand by and allow your name and image to be sullied by the godless heathens who did not respect the sanctity of the Spider-Marriage?!
SOURCE: Marvel Team-Up: Spider-Man And… Stephen Colbert?!
Note To Marvel: Sorry. Not even bringing Mark Waid in to write Spider-Man and teaming him up with Stephen Colbert will get me to spend money on one of your crummy comics.
Now, if you can pay my girlfriend's medical bills... THEN I might start reading Amazing Spider-Man again just because it would be rude not to after that kind of generous act of charity.