My friend Keith, after learning that I still hadn't seen the 2009 Star Trek reboot, loaned me his copy. I live-tweeted my thoughts as I watched it. Here's the transcript of that night.
PG-13 for Sci-Fi Violence? Well, I'd bloody well hope so!
Yul Brynner is Captain Kirk -
Hot undocking the shuttle action!
Jeez. The Spaceballs evacuated their ship with more dignity.
(As the shuttle leaves the ship through a tunnel as Kirk is born)
Heh. Don't need to be Freud to figure THAT one out.
I swear, this music was also in Forest Gump!
(As young Kirk is being chased by the cop on the hoverbike)
And suddenly I'm having Warrior of the Lost World flashbacks....
Young Kirk is dressed like Marty McFly Jr.
You'd think a purely logical Vulcan youth would have better sense than to poke a bee-hive.
Just goes to show, regardless of species, teenagers are always dicks.
Half-Vulcans may not have invented sarcasm but they did perfect it.
I was thinking "Their quota for new recruits must be down" just before Kirk said it. Ha!
Insert "DAMN YOU MAVERICK!" joke here.
Anyone else get the urge to make
Things went all B&W news-reel there for a moment.
So... any reason why skirts are still required on female military uniforms in the future? Especially in space?!
(To Sulu failing to start the ship properly)
.. did they just make a bad Asian drivers joke?
(After we hear Chekov's accent for the first time)
Was it a Womulan Ship? Was theiw leader named Bigguth Diccuth?!
(After getting a good look at Nero's forehead tattoos)
Meanwhile, on the Last Airbender's ship...
I am Newo the Womulan!
The Romulan ship looks like a Shadow Vessel from
Huh. Music went all John Williams there for a moment....
(After the guy in the red suit falls off the drill)
There went the one person in Star Fleet more reckless than Kirk....
(As Kirk lands on the drill)
And now, to remove my helmet so everyone can see my perfect hair and handsome face!
Not to be difficult but... that's not fencing, Sulu.
Pike looks like he's thinking "God, just kill me. I don't want to hear your life's story...."
Nero has the same voice as the Hudzen 10 android that was sent to replace Kryten on
I believe Mr. Spock to be in violation of Directive 40.09. No Vulcan is allowed to give oral sex in zero gravity.
I see why the Trekkies didn't like this, for the most part. This plays more like a
Of course he's Scott! What else could he be with that outrageous accent, you silly Vulcan!
Kirk gets his ass kicked a lot in this reality.
Ok. That was all pretty damn good.
Here, we see your red blood cells in action....
Heh... customary departure self-serving.
And the movie that does everything that was done before ends with a line about boldly going where no one has gone before.