Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Skyrim: A Journal of War - Chapter Thirty:The Best Blade Plans...

From The Saga of Matthias The Bather, Written By Sven

Matthias and Esbern fled the foul sewers of Riften, fighting their way bravely past Thalmor assassins and agents of the Thieves Guild.  After much hardship and daring, they made their way back to Riverwood and the Sleeping Giant Inn, where an anxious Delphine awaited them.

Esbern: Delphine!  It is good to see you.  It's been a long time.
Delphine: It's good to see you too, Esbern.  It's been too long, old friend.  Too long.
Me: Hey, I'm alive too!  Your chosen one of destiny and all that...
Delphine: Now then.  I assume you know about...
Esbern: The Dragonborn?  Oh yes!  Yes, indeed.
Me: Standing right here.  Feeling kind of ignored...
Esbern: This changes everything, of course.  I had something I wanted to show you...
Me: Okay!  Fine!  I'll leave you two alone to catch up!
Esbern: No, Dragonborn!  You should see this too!
Me: I very much doubt that.
Esbern: No!  Here it is!  In my pocket, I have a map to the Skyhaven Temple - the lost fortress of the Blades of Skyrim!  
Delphine: Do you have any idea what he's talking about?
I dunno. I'm just relieved the thing he's fumbling around for in his pants is a map.
Esbern: You don't understand?  Skyhaven is where the Blades of old built Alduin's Wall, to set in stone their accumulated dragon lore. A hedge against the forgetfulness of the centuries.
Me: Right.  Because it totally makes sense for you to spend years carving your wisdom into a stone wall in a hidden temple, rather than... oh, say taking writing it down?  Or better yet - taking advantage of the surplus of bards this nation produces and having them sing songs about how dragons can be killed?
Esbern: Do you have any idea what HE is talking about?
Delphine: Not really.  But I also don't see what you're getting at.
Esbern: Alduin's Wall is part prophecy and part history.  The ancient Blades wrote down all the knew of the dragon godking Alduin and his eventual return.   
Delphine: So you think Alduin's Wall might tell us how to defeat Alduin?
Esbern: Well, I believe it might, yes.  Of course there's no guarantee but...
Me: ... a slim chance is better than none.  Come on!  Let's get this over with. 


Delphine: I had thought this journey would be more difficult.  I had heard the Karthspire region was plagued by Forsworn.  But there are none to be found here...
Me: Forsworn?  You mean those guys with the antler hats and the chicks in fur armor that doesn't cover anything?
Esbern: Indeed.  You have encountered them before?
Me: I... may have had some dealings with them, yes...
Delphine: Don't get me wrong.  I am thankful for the peaceful journey.  I just expected things to be more difficult. 
Me: ... oh hell.
Esbern: Excuse me... did any of you hear a distant rumbling? 
Me: Double hell!  FUS RO DAH!


Me: Okay.  New rule.  Any Blade who every voices any concerns about something being too easy will be shot.  From a catapult.
Esbern: Ah!... the power of the dragon is yours! There can be no doubt that you are the Dragonborn of the prophecy. 
Me: Glad you're impressed.  Now, let's get a look at this lost temple.  Where is it from here?  
Esbern: At the top of that winding stone staircase.
Delphine: Is something wrong, Dragonborn? 
Me: No, no, no.  Just wondering how you managed to lose a secret temple with a bloody huge stone staircase running up to it....


Me: The Dragonborn has another new rule: Someone else gets to lead the way through the room with the pressure-sensitive plates requiring you to spell out obscure words in ancient runes from now on. 
Esbern: Shoar's bones!  Here it is!  Alduin's Wall... so well preserved!  I have never seen a finer example of early second era Akaviri sculptural relief!
Delphine: Yes, I'm sure it's lovely.  But does it say how to defeat Alduin?
Esbern: Patience, my dear.  The Akaviri were a subtle people and their artwork is full of symbolism.  Nothing is straight-forwardThis will take me some time to read fully.
Me: Can't you just skip to the end?
Esbern: No.  Now... HERE, at the beginning of time...
Me: Right.  There's my cue to find a privy.  Nothing good ever comes of a story starts with "At the beginning of time..."


Me: Ah!  What a relief! 
Delphine: Did you find the privies? 
Me: Uh... sure. 
Esbern: ... and here we see the masters of The Shout, standing against Alduin, using some sort of words against him.  You can see the symbol for "Shout" coming out of their mouths, here.
Delphine: So the Dragoborn of old used a shout to defeat Alduin?
Hmmm?  Oh, yes, yes.  Now, if we read on, here is something truly fascinating.  We have an image of a cat of hefty size, who is voicing his displeasure over the existence of Morndas...
Delphine: I don't suppose you know of a shout that could do that?  Knock a dragon out of the sky?
Me: No... but it sounds really cool!
Delphine: I'm afraid there's no alternative.  You must return to High Hrothgar and seek the aid of The Greybeards.  Unfortunately.
Me: Huh?  Why is that unfortunate?
Delphine: I'd hoped not to drag them into this.  If they had their way, you'd stay up on that mountain forever, talking to the sky or some such.
Me: Well, they are kind of jerks... but they do know more about Shouting than anyone I'll go pick up my wife for back-up and head back there.
Good.  I shall search the temple here and see if The Ancient Blades might have left anything else we might use.
Right!  I'm off then!

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