Having sought out The Greybeards and begun his training, Matthias and Uthgerd did return to Riverwood to unburden themselves of the treasures they had found while adventuring...
Uthgerd: I still don't understand why we came all the way out here to sell all this. Whiterun has many shops and is closer.
Me: True, but they didn't have owners who would let me loot their store blind and then sell them all their own wares.
Uthgerd: Ha! You jest.
Me: Not at all. Watch.
TWO MINUTES OF HIGH IMPACT LOOTING LATER
Uthgerd: ... words fail me.
Me: I know, right?!
Uthgerd: What witchcraft is this?
Me: No witchcraft. Just something odd I've noticed - after I help people, they become entirely indifferent toward me taking everything they own. Like they view me as a trusted friend instead of a wanderer who comes through trying to sell them bloody armor every few weeks.
Uthgerd: And you can just take everything they own?
Me: Wellll... not everything. I've got this kind of sixth sense about what they won't mind me taking. It's hard to explain.
Uthgerd: Indeed? So, if I were to pick up this iron helm which you avoided touching earlier...
Me: No! Don't -
Lucan Valerius: Help! Guards! Thief!
Whiterun Guard: Halt! In the name of the Jarl!
Me: Augh! I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry! I beg Talos forgiveness of my many sins! Especially the really fun ones I never got caught for!
Whiterun Guard: Begging will not save you, thief! Now, how do you plead?
Me: On my knees, usually. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't send me to prison! I'm pretty sure the shouts won't protect me from buggery.
Whiterun Guard: The shouts.... wait, you are the Dragonborn, Matthias The Bather?
Me: ... yes?
Whiterun Guard: Oh. Forgive me, my Thane. I didn't realize it was you.
Uthgerd: But didn't he just...
Me: Ixnay...
Whiterun Guard: We'll look the other way this time. But even the Jarl's influence has limits. Be more careful.
Uthgerd: ... I still can't believe it.
Me: Welcome to my world.
Uthgerd: This... this day has given me much to think about. I think I need to go lie down for a while and reconsider my place in this world of yours.
Me: What?! But you can't go! Who will stand beside me on the road to adventure? Who will distract the big guys with swords while I hide in the shadows waiting for an opportune shot? Who will carry all my heavy stolen loot that I still haven't found a place to sell?! If only I had some obedient bimbo sworn to carry my burdens...
Me: ... right!
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