Monday, January 23, 2012

Skyrim: A Journal of War - Chapter Twenty One - One Hundred Hours In Solitude

From The Saga Of Matthias The Bather; Written by Sven

And so it came to pass that
Matthias and Mjoll did journey to cold Solitude - the capital of Skyrim and seat of the High King in the Blue Palace. Ever champions of the people, they went there - not because of the ever-growing threat of the dragons but in the cause of thwarting the dark influence of The Thieves' Guild. And so it was that the duo sought out Gulum-Ei - an Argonian dock-worker of sordid reputation.

Mjoll: Well?
Me: He denies knowing anything but I'm sure he's lying. I think it best we follow him for a time.
Mjoll: As you will, beloved. But I find it hard to believe that the Thieves' Guild would conduct business this far from The Rift.
Me: Ah, but thieves go where the wealth is and there is much wealth to be had here.
Mjoll: That is true. But I still can't shake the feeling there is much going on here I cannot see.
Me: *muttered* Not if I can help it.
Mjoll: What's that, dearest?
Me: Uh... I said "If only we could help it... get better?"
Mjoll: Oh, we can, my love. We can.


Me: There! He ducked into that warehouse! We'll have to go in after him!
Mjoll: I must say this is exciting! My father used to take me hunting with him all over Tamriel...
Me: *working with lockpicks* Quiet, dearest. There may be guards inside who are protecting the honest merchant's goods. And they're not likely to look kindly on us coming in here, even if we're tracking a thief.
Mjoll: Ah. Good point, beloved. I shall follow your lead, then.

Me: Actually, Mjoll... perhaps it might be best if you waited here -
Mjoll: You're not supposed to be in here.
Me: - what?
Mjoll: You're not supposed to be in here.
Me: What?
Mjoll: You're not supposed to be in here.
Me: Okay. Technically true. But we have that thief to track and-
Mjoll: You're not supposed to be in here.
Me: Okay. Would you please stop saying that? In fact, don't say anything because-
Guard #1: What was that?!
Me: Oh, Oblivion!
Mjoll: Grrrrrrrrr!
Me: Double Oblivion!
Guard #2: Thought I heard something...
Me: Thrice damned double dog Oblivion!


Me: Okay, Mjoll? Mead Lips? Could you explain to me why you just killed two innocent dock guards?
Mjoll: You're not supposed to be in here.
Me: Fine. We'll just step outside and talk about it...
Mjoll: You're not supposed to be in here.
Me: Grrrrrrrrr!


Look, Mjoll. If you can't keep quiet, at least wait here for me.
Mjoll: Okay. I'll be right here.
Me: Yeah, yeah not supposed to... what?!?!
Mjoll: I said I'll be right here.
Me: ... but a minute ago, you couldn't say anything except "You're not supposed to be here"!
Mjoll: I couldn't?
Me: No!
Mjoll: Hmm... I suppose it could have been some sort of automatic reflex caused by the thought of violating the laws regarding breaking-in-and-entering.
Me: But you killed those two guys who were about to discover us! Those poor innocent... well, relatively innocent dock guards!
Mjoll: Apparently my reflex to protect my beloved is stronger.
Me: Awwwwww. You're as sweet as you are strong. But maybe you should wait out here so I can go in and deal with the thief. Watch my back so no reinforcements come in.
Mjoll: Okay!


Me: Knock Knock.
Gulum-Ei: Who's There?
Me: Um... that's not a joke. I was being dramatic.
Gulum-Ei: Huh. You want my advice? Stick to thieving and forget acting.
Me: You're right. The bow and arrow in my hands and the fact that I killed all your bandit accomplices on the way in are dramatic enough. Now tell me everything about the woman who hired you to start working against The Guild.
Gulum-Ei: Alright, alright. But I want you to promise me you'll tell them that I had no idea it was Karliah when she approached me!
Me: Who?
Gulum-Ei: ... you don't know? Really?
Me: No.
Gulum-Ei: Mercer didn't tell you?
Me: No. Who is Karliah?
Gulum-Ei: She was a thief. A damn good one. Used to be the old Guildmaster's partner. In every sense of the word. And then she decided to change her terms of employment.
Me: You mean she killed him?
Gulum-Ei: Yes. Plunged the guild into disarray for years until Mercer got it back under control.
Me: Any idea where to find her?
Gulum-Ei: She said that "it would all end where it first began".
Me: Huh. Now THAT is dramatic.
Gulum-Ei: Yes, I thought so.

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