Me: And hello to you too.
Arngeir: Ah, my apologies, Dragonborn. I am unused to greeting visitors. Indeed, I am unused to speaking at all, save to read the prophecies of the dark times to come or to shout the Thu'ums. Why, the last time I DID speak...
Me: Yes, yes. I understand. So... you wanted to see me?
Arngeir: Indeed. We must test you - to see if you are truly a Dragonborn and then train you that you may use your fabulous powers.
Me: So... what do I do? Hold my sword over my head and shout "By The Power Of High Hrothgar?"
Arngeir: Well, you DO shout. Indeed, I sense you have already learned one of the dragon powers... The power of Unrelenting Force.
Me: I have?
Arngeir: Indeed. With that power, your voice will force the mightiest to fall before you.
Arngeir: Indeed. Let us try it now. Simply focus your will and aim...
Me: Woah! Cool!
Arngeir: NOT AT ME YOU MISBEGOTTEN WHORESON!
Arngeir: AND STOP SHOUTING!
Me: I'M NOT SHOUTING! IF I WERE SHOUTING, YOU'D BE ON THE GROUND!
Arngeir: NOT THAT KIND OF SHOUTING... AHEM.... not that kind of shouting. Just... lower your voice. Please.
Arngeir: It's okay. Now... let us go outside... where if that happens again, at least it will not be echoing off our walls.
From The Saga Of Matthias The Bather; Written by Sven
And so, after a shaky start, the Greybeards did teach Matthias how to focus his shout of force. More, they taught him how to harness the Thu'um to move like the wind and dash forward at tremendous speed. Finally, after a day of intense training, Arngeir took The Dragonborn aside.
Arngeir: Your quick mastery of a new Thu'um is... astonishing. I'd heard the stories of the abilities of Dragonborn, but to see it for myself...
Me: It's nothing. I have a lot of experience running quickly.
Uthgerd: Running head-long into danger, no doubt.
Me: This from the woman who set off how many traps in the Felmar cave?
Uthgerd: Point taken.
Arngeir: Regardless, I believe now that you are The Dragonborn - the one the prophecies spoke of. Only one thing awaits before we can complete your training.
Me: And here it comes... the part where you ask me to kill the man who nearly destroyed your order, corrupted your teachings and even now threatens to destroy all you hold sacred... yet only I, an untested student, have any hope of defeating him when you four experienced wizards .
Arngeir: No, but that does sound like a good story. We merely require that you retrieve a horn.
Me: A horn?
Arngeir: Retrieve the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller, our founder, from his ancient tomb in Ustengrav. Then we shall complete your training!
Me: Filled, no doubt, with some form of restless undead guardians?
Me: And no doubt probably infested with some sort of giant insectoid vermin.
Arngeir: Almost certain.
Me: Do I have a time limit on that?
Arngeir: Well, the dragons do fill the skies and boldly attack large cities. The portents bode ill. The end times are nigh and the doom of the world approaches. But, we have nothing else to do but read the prophecies and await your return...
Me: Right. Well, I'll try not to die then.
Arngeir: Good plan.
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