Monday, November 2, 2009

Heroes: Season 4 - Episode 7: Once Upon a Time in Texas

Here it is: the episode which is either going to break my heart or make me start to believe in this show again.

From the look of the preview, it looks like Hiro may try bargaining his knowledge for Charlie's safety... which could explain a lot of how Sylar kept surviving everything.

I'm going to keep this short because... well, there's not much to discuss except the four things that REALLY pissed me off about this episode.

1. The Whole "Noah Having An Affair" Subplot

It was wholly unneeded and unnecessary, save from the perspective that they can't have an entire episode center on just one character (i.e. Hiro) for some reason. What's worse is that the subplot served no purpose other than making Noah Bennet look like an even bigger jerk.

The really jarring thing is that Noah having an affair with a co-worker not only doesn't jibe with the image we have of him being an insanely devout family man - it makes him look like he's slacking off at work since he is meeting said co-worker at a hotel ON THE DAY HIS DAUGHTER IS SUPPOSED TO DIE!

2. Sylar the Psychic Surgeon

I know Sylar is awesome. The entire show at this point is dedicated to showing us how awesome Sylar is. That being said, I cannot justify how Season One Sylar - who is still relatively green at this point - is capable of mixing his Intuition AND Telekinesis so that he can identify a brain disorder JUST BY LOOKING AT A PERSON and then can perform surgery on them without cutting their head open.

He had to cut Claire's head open in Volume Three to begin understanding her power - don't try and say that he can just look at people and see brain tumors and blocked blood vessels now!

3. Claire's Presence At A Homecoming Event

One of the few good moments in this episode was a nice scene between Noah and Claire where they discussed what Noah really wanted to do with his life. Turns out Noah was a drama geek and loves Shakespeare.

One problem - this is occurring on the day that Claire is destined to die. The same day that, back in Season One, Noah grounded Claire and forbid her to go anywhere near the school in uniform.

This is so huge I don't even feel the need to point out that Claire's hair is visibly different.

4. The Timeline is officially broken!

See if you can follow me on this.

Volume One started with an eclipse on October 1st, 2006.

The events of Volume One took place over five weeks, with the destruction of New York being averted on November 8, 2006.

Volume Two started four months later, with an episode called Four Months Later filling in the gaps of what happened between the end of Volume One and the start of Volume Two.

Volume Two officially begins on March 11, 2007. The events of this volume take place over the course of a little over a week, ending on March 20, 2007 when Nathan calls his press conference in Odessa, Texas.

Volume Three picks up right where Volume Two left off on March 20, 2007. The events of this volume take place over a few days. No exact dates are given after March 23, 2007, but we do know that it is sometime in April when Volume 3 ends, "three weeks later", when Nathan is showing talking to The President about the existence of superpowers.

Volume Four doesn't start with an exact date either but we do find out later on, as Matt is ripping memories from Noah regarding how the government-backed power-hunting team was formed, that it all started five weeks earlier.

This puts a gap of two months/eight weeks between the end of Volume Three and the start of Volume Four, making it sometime in the middle of June, 2007 when Volume Four starts.

Volume Four takes place over the course of a couple of weeks, ending sometime in July.

Volume Five doesn't start with an exact date but we do know that six weeks have passed since the end of Volume Four. This information, coupled with the fact that Claire is just starting her first semester of college, puts the date at somewhere in late August/early September 2007.

So why is this a problem? Because Once Upon A Time in Texas made repeated references to it having been three years since Hiro met Charlie and Hiro being "Three Years Ago" when he time-traveled back to save her! But a cursory glance at the timeline proves that it's barely been 11 months, much less three years!

The Final Verdict: It broke my heart AND my brain. I really am done with this show now. Seriously.


  1. Not that I really care, but here's something you might be able to use to help prove the timeline being broken:
    Exactly how old do they say is Matt Parkman's son? If timeline for entire series is supposed to be 11 months or so....

  2. They've never given an exact age but old enough that Hiro calls him "Toddler Touch And Go".
    He certainly looks older than 11 months.
    The really annoying part is that as part of this last episode, they showed footage from Season One - the whole bit with Noah talking to Issac about how the girl he keeps painting is his daughter and he talks about adopting her 14 years ago.
    Which just further exposes a conflict about what Claire's age was in according to the show vs. the comics (comics said she was an HS Junior; show said she was 14). Granting that it's possible she skipped ahead a few grades... it's also unlikely.

  3. Yep, and with 11 month entire timespan, the kiddo should be MAYBE 2-3 months, tops.
    Continuity and timeline on Heroes, I hereby declare you DOA.

  4. I had him pegged at about the six month mark, but the point still stands.
    Given that the kid was born sometime between Seasons One and Two (the first four month gap), Matt's wife should have been visibly pregnant when she told him that she was pregnant.
    Okay, sure it's possible she's in that VERY small percentage that can actually be pregnant without any visible belly-swelling until the third trimester, but surely there would have been other signs (morning sickness and such) at the five-month mark.

  5. ....yeahhhhhhhh so glad again that I stopped watching.

  6. And I wish I'd started not watching it sooner.