Thoughts On Final Crisis: Final Crisis #4

Fair Warning. You'll want to read Final Crisis: Submit before this issue. It's kinda important and is a direct lead in.



p. 1-2 - So... the Anti-Life Equation is now being broadcast across every electronic medium in the world and everyone who listens is turned into an apathetic zombie, incapable of independent thought and eager to be abused by the ruling elite. Insert your own Fox News/talk radio joke here.

p. 3 - The Ray? Isn't he dead? Or did they bring a new one back in one of the many comics I'm not reading?

p. 4-5 - For that matter, I'm confused by this new Tattoed Man. What we see of him here and in Final Crisis: Submit doesn't really gel with his background in his previous appearances. He's supposed to be an ex-Marine who disappeared, learned the art of "sin-grafting" and began killing bad people and taking their sins (in the form of mystic tattoos) onto himself. Cool concept for a dark vigilante when Geoff Johns came up with it... but it doesn't gel with the hero-hating, married man and father of two we see here.

p. 6-7 - And.... it's a whole bunch of dead people I don't recognize or care about.

p. 8 - Ah, okay. So they're genetically altering Dan Turpin to become Darkseid's new body. No wonder he was going bald and looking horrible...

p. 9 - Kalibak reborn in the body of a tiger-man? I see a fight with Tawny Tiger coming up. Because that is how Grant Morrison rolls.

p. 10 - Marvel Comics eat your heart out. It turns out it was Barbara Gordon who ripped the Internet in half... and she did it to save the world (or at least, everyone on-line at the time) from being enslaved by The Anti-Life Equation. She was also tough enough to see part of it and NOT go crazy.

p. 11 - And let us begin the "who is still active?" scene and mix it with the "We shall fight them on the beaches..." speech as Ray becomes an electric signal and allows a quick communication between The Six Watchtowers.

p. 12-16 - So here is the standing...

Watchtower 1: Checkmate Headquarters
Watchtower 2: The Hall of Justice
Watchtower 3: Fortress of Solitude
Watchtower 4: Uh... no idea. Gorilla City?
Watchtower 5: Superbia (which I could have sworn was blown up...)
Watchtower 6: The Great Wall (home of China's State-Sponsored Superteam - The Great Ten)

4 and 5 are pretty much trashed. 6 is about to fall. And barbarians are at the gate at the Hall of Justice.

p. 17 - Okay. So Black Lightning gave The Tattooed man a pattern for a circut.... so that gives him electrical powers which he uses to.... break the shield on the Hall of Justice? Still, nice to see Dinah being written as the competent tactician she is and being the one to figure a way out - turning Ray into an electronic signal and using him to power the teleporter system. THAT is how Dinah should be written.

p. 18-19 - So how is Barry Allen back from the dead? "An unknown force just reverse engineered me to life out of a blizzard of faster-than-light particles." Well, it's not as cool as spending the better part of a decade out-running Death... but it beats the pants off of "Superboy punched reality."

p. 20-21 - Two speedsters vs. four mind-controlled heroes, only one of whom has any enhanced speed and is nowhere near as fast. No contest.

p. 21-25 - Ladies and Gentlemen... if a few pages ago was how Dinah should be written, THIS is how Green Arrow should be written.

I can't find a scan of this page and sadly, my scanner is busted, so let me describe it. Dinah is getting everyone in the Hall of Justice to evacuate to the JLA Satellite. Ollie pushes her into the tube and insists that he has to stay behind to blow up the tubes so they can't be used by the villains.

Dinah protests and Ollie points out that he's the only one who can afford to stay behind out of their group. Ray is needed to be the signal. Tattooed Man has "the circut" that Black Lightning died to get to the other heroes. Dinah is the JLA leader. Babs is needed to handle the communications. "And The Flash'l kill us both if anything happens to his wife or his kids."

OLLIE: Nowhere on the planet is safe, but I have an idea.

DINAH: Don't do this. I can't lose you. (brings her hand up on the glass wall of the tube)

OLLIE: (bringing his hand up to match hers) I worked out the angles. They won't get me... I'll use the Anti-Anti-Life Equation arrow. Pretty bird.

DINAH: (kissing the glass) Ollie. My beautiful Robin Hood.

(Dinah teleports just as the Apokolyptian forces - all riding giant dogs - break into the Hall of Justice. Black Lightning is leading the group, wearing one of the Anti-Life Mind-Control Helmets being used to control the Superheroes)

BLACK LIGHTNING: Destroy! Anti-Life justifies our actions!

OLLIE: (shooting at least a dozen arrows in a blur as he jumps out and starts strafing the mob) Is that so? Well my absolute hatred for dog-riding totalitarian @$$@&%# justifies THIS!


If Judd Winick weren't almost off of Green Arrow/Black Canary, I'd suggest that these pages needed to be taken from this book and stapled all around his work-space. (Not his forehead... that would be cruel) He would then be required to write 500 times on a little slate board "I will not write any Green Arrow stories until I think of something that is HALF this awesome."

p. 26 - Oh gods. Dinah is pissed. And she's got access to every single weapon on the Watchtower and a sniper's eye view. This is not going to go well for Darkseid.

p. 27 - The Omega Offensive? That sounds bloody impressive. And that isn't a New God weapon?

p. 28 - "To Die On The Job Is To Die For Darkseid" signs in a factory. Mobs of heavily armed sycophants maintaining order as they preach judgment of others, condemnation of the different and exploitation of the weak. Insert your own joke about the McCain/Palin platform here.

p. 29 - Okay. Skeptical as I am about Barry's return.... damn me, but this is a cool scene.

Love breaks Anti-Life it seems.

p. 30 - Rains of blood. Dead rising from the grave. Where are the Ghostbusters when we need them?

p. 31 - Some Mister Miracle if he can't dodge a bullet. But wait! That's not Shiloh Norman! Cunning bastard - he escaped death by getting some Asian guy to put on his costume and claim to be him!

p. 32 - And... Kirby/Turpin/Darkseid gives humanity the thumbs down. But wait! In Ancient Rome, that actually was a GOOD thing... so he's really saying humanity is great. Right?