Thoughts On Final Crisis: Final Crisis #3

Cover - I know you shouldn't judge a book by them. but MAN that is a lousy Supergirl picture. Can anyone give me a non-pornographic reason she is pointing to her mouth like that?

p.1-4 - No idea what is going on here or who these people are. The presence of The Next Question also rids me of most of my curiosity in finding out. Ubergirl is interesting, though the presence of a Nazi Supergirl is disturbing in and of itself.

p. 5 - Monitor Man is fired and... nothing much happens.

p. 6-9 - Ah okay. So it seems that Barry Allen isn't really dead but has been out-running Death for the better part of a decade. That's almost cool enough to make up for the fact that they are undoing one of the few heroic deaths that still means anything.

p. 10-11 - And Libra suddenly loses 50 million cool points when it is revealed that he's working with The New Gods and the idiots behind The Church of Crime. Don't care, don't care, don't care.

p.12-13 - Wow. The first honest-to-New-God conversation in this whole issue I care about. But how did a Centauri dignitary find out Clark Kent is Superman?

p.14-15 - Huh. I just realized that someone took control of an Alpha Lantern from Apokolips to seal off Earth from the rest of the universe. Nice. Also nice to see Alan Scott taking charge... which totally makes sense given his position with Checkmate, The JSA and his being an old, powerful superhero who survived damn near everything.

p. 16 - I don't know what shocks me more - That Oracle has a dolphin contact just for the purpose of contacting Aquaman or that Tawny Tiger is back in the Mainstream DCU.

p. 17 - I don't know what makes me happier - Supergirl being shown to have a life outside of superheroing again, Dinah actually being shown to wear a bra under her costume or Ollie's ranting about the evils of a superhero draft.

p. 18 - Not that it stops Ollie from showing up, along with half the other superheroes, mind you. :)

p. 19-21 - Norman Shilo forming a set of new New Gods among humanity? Gathering old good ones disguised as humans as the bad ones were? Curious.

p. 22-27 - Okay. Anybody who actually read Countdown and knows what the hell is going on with Mary, raise your hands.

*chirp chirp*

Any of you who can justify why Donna never told Diana about Mary going evil or why Captain Marvel Junior hasn't been trying to find Mary over the last year?

*chirp chirp*

p. 28 - And after much bragging and boasting of Marvel, it turns out that DC Comics really did break the Internet.

p. 29 - Okay... so Barry Allen was dead, but now he isn't. I guess this means that Quiver is still in continuity after all...

p. 30 - This photo has already had pornographic fan-fics based on it. I guarantee it.