Sunday, December 19, 2004

Identity Crisis #7 - A Review

Written by: Brad Meltzer
Penciled by: Rags Morales
Inked by: Michael Bair
Colored by: Alex Sinclair
Lettered by: Kenny Lopez
Editor: Mike Carling
Publisher: DC Comics

Starman Matt Morrison: Be warned ahead of time. I shall pull no punches and spoilers will be spoken! So have you NOT read this issue of Identity Crisis yet and still do not already know the answer to the question that has rocked the Fandom community for the better part of a year, come no further!

Editor Tim Stevens: It’s Nightwing!

Starman Matt Morrison: What the! Tim, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be interrupting Mathan’s column?

Editor Tim Stevens: Nah. I got bored. Thought I’d see if you got any angry letters from all Mark Millar’s fans for your column last week.

Starman Matt Morrison: Well… you know it ISN’T Nightwing who did it.

Editor Tim Stevens: Yes it is! It just has yet to be revealed that he did it.

Starman Matt Morrison: This was the LAST issue, Tim. I think it’s pretty settled now.

Editor Tim Stevens: That’s what they WANT you to think. All the twists they’ve had so far… all the spin offs they have coming out? You really think it’s over?

Starman Matt Morrison: Yes. Yes I do.

Former Editor Ben Morse: You’re a fool.

Starman Matt Morrison: What the… Ben Morse?

Editor Tim Stevens: Ben? You’re back?

Former Editor Ben Morse: Only for a bit. You see, I know I stopped being Matt’s editor, but I couldn’t help but come back to correct him one more time on this. You see, it isn’t Nightwing who killed Sue Dibny.

Starman Matt Morrison: I know! It was-

Former Editor Ben Morse: It was the Rainbow Raider.

Editor Tim Stevens: What?

Starman Matt Morrison: That doesn’t make any sense! And isn’t the Rainbow Raider dead?

Former Editor Ben Morse: Yeah. I got this straight off the line from my super secret sources at Wizard Magazine (available at all fine comic shops and bookstores everywhere!).

Starman Matt Morrison: Aren’t those the same guys who swore blind three months ago that it was the ghost of Jason Todd back from the dead after an interview with Judd Winick?

Editor Tim Stevens: Lies! Lies and chicanery from all of you! It was Dick Grayson, I tells ya!

Mysterious Scotsman: No, it was Norman Osborn. Because Norman Osborn does EVERYTHING!

Starman Matt Morrison: What the- who the hell are you?

Mysterious Scotsman: I’m Mark Millar, you sad little man!

Starman Matt Morrison: Waaaaaaugh!

Mysterious Scotsman: That was for your column last week.

Editor Tim Stevens: Wow… are those steel-toed boots?

Starman Matt Morrison: ...mommy…

Former Editor Ben Morse: Wait a second! Norman Osborn couldn’t have done it! He’s not in the same universe!

Mysterious Scotsman: Bah! You think such a thing is impossible for Norman Osborn? Inter-dimensional travel would be a piece of cake for the man who invented a time machine just so he could go back and pay Flash Thompson to short-sheet Peter Parker’s bed at summer-camp!

Starman Matt Morrison: … that never… GAAUUUGH!

Mysterious Scotsman: Quiet, you.

Staff Madman Jesse Baker: Actually, you’re all wrong.

Mysterious Scotsman: Who’s this twit?

Editor Tim Stevens: Jesse Baker. The other Comics Nexus loudmouth.

Staff Madman Jesse Baker: That’s right! And here in this sack, I have captured the REAL culprit behind all our problems!

Former Editor Ben Morse:What the- it’s Old Man Winters, who runs the haunted amusement park!

Staff Madman Jesse Baker: No! That’s what they wanted us to think! Pull off the mask, and it’s none other than-

ALL: Brian Michael Bendis?!?!

Brian Michael Bendis: And I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t been for Jesse Baker and his magical talking dogs!

Starman Matt Morrison: … so weak…

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