Written by: Chris Claremont
Penciled by: Igor Kordey
Inked by: Scott Hanna
Colored by: Liquid!
Lettered by: Tom Orzechowski
Editor: Mike Raicht
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Somewhere in Texas, in a loft apartment several days after a series of drunken parties…
Starman: (tiredly) Hello?
Daron: Greetings, Minion!
Starman: Huh? Oh yeah… it’s you.
Daron: It’s you? Fool, dare you speak to your Dark Overlord in such a-
Starman: Can it, Daron. It’s too early in the day and I am too hungover to deal with your Doctor Doom act today. God, those con parties are amazing. Two days later and I still feel like the inside of a porta-potty at Ozzfest.
Daron: (mock concern) Aww.. is da pwecious Starman not fee-wing well? Well, tough beefsteak, pal! You know, I WAS going to let you review the new Birds of Prey Secret Files… but since your spirit hasn’t been completely crushed yet, I see that I will have to be much harsher…
Starman: (sobriety suddenly coming along with panicked comprehension) Oh, gods! You don’t mean-
Daron: Yes! You.. YOU will review the new X-Treme X-Men issue!
Starman: B-B-B-.. but I don’t read X-Treme!
Daron: You told me you were trying to read more X-Men.
Starman: Yes, but I meant the GOOD X-Men books. The ones where things are actually happening! Not the one where Chris Claremont is rehashing the same old ideas and characters he’s been using for the last 20 years, but with less coherence!
Daron: Do you wish to review the new X-Men Unlimited next week as well Or perhaps Ultimate Adventures #4?
Starman: * sighs * No. No, I don’t Lord.
Daron: Good to see you remembered the title this time. Do not fail me, Admiral Morrison.
(Several hours, one trip to the comic store and a sturdying drink of Jack Daniels later)
Right. X-Treme X-Men. Part Three of God Love, Man Kills II. Yes, I think the numbering system is a bit confusing myself. Apparently this is Chris Claremont writing a sequel to the story that allegedly was the basis for X2: X-Men United.
A lot of stuff happens in this issue, but damned if half of it means anything to me or makes much sense. Apparently Kitty Pryde has been kidnapped by Stryker, who is messing around with her head for some reason and making her hallucinate. Why? I haven’t a clue.
The rest of the team (in this case Wolverine, Cannonball, Sage and Bishop) have to fight a crazed Storm, whose powers went crazy after some incident involving Kitty’s phasing powers causing massive upheaval on the balance of nature when she phases herself and adamantium. Why this never happened before any of the times she had to save Wolverine by phasing them through something, I have no idea.
Maybe you have to have read “God Loves, Man Kills” to get this one but coming into part three of this story, I was lost. And unlike many Marvel comics today, this one has no helpful “previously on” page to explain what has happened so far.
The artwork by Igor Kordey is, for the most part, competently done. Aside from a few points towards the end, where it appears uncertain if Kitty is wearing white tights or fishnets, there is nothing that stands out as glaringly out of place. There is also, however, nothing that stands out as particularly excellent.
All in all, this book is the perfect example of why I don’t make a habit of reading X-Men; confusing plots mixed with nonsensical pseudoscience that flies in the face of what I do know of the book and an apparently required knowledge of over twenty years of backstory.