Friday, May 16, 2003

PVP #2 - A Review

Story Title: Lord of the Schwings!

Written by: Scott Kurtz
Penciled by: Scott Kurtz
Inked by: Scott Kurtz
Colored by: N/A
Lettered by: Scott Kurtz
Editor: Mark Walters
Publisher: Image Comics


Matt: Hulk’s Deli. You order, we SMASH!

Daron: Matt?

Matt: Yeah.

Daron: It’s Daron. I need you to review PVP #2 this week.

Matt: What?! But I had a piece on Hawkman #15 ready to go!

Daron: Sorry, but we’re short on Indie reviews this week and you’re the only person with a free spot.

Matt: Have I not been suffering enough watching Green Arrow and Green Lantern go to heck in a handbasket this past month that I also have to read the least funny gamer comic ever?

Daron: Hey, after the lashing you gave the first issue in your column, I thought it would be funny to have you review the second. Besides, it could have gotten better. And I heard that they were just reprinting strips from the website for the first issue. It could be new material this time.

Matt: Well, I suppose I DO owe it to the fans to see if it got better.

Daron: Exactly. You’re doing the public a service. Heck, in a way you’re a hero! Going places sane men fear to tread and saving us time and money by telling us about what books aren’t worth the trees that died to make them!

Matt: Well, when you put it that way…

Daron: Besides, it could be worse. You could be reviewing Venom #1.

Matt: * winces * A Tsunami title? With a character I hate…

Daron: And Francisco Herrera artwork through the WHOLE thing…

Matt: * thinks * How soon do you need that PVP review?

Daron: Immediately. Now get to writing. I think we’re loosing the readers with this overdone “creators speaking” bit.

Matt: Hey, it worked for Stan Lee!


*sounds of running to car, car starting*


Not too long ago I made a number of complaints about PVP the comic strip and its’ new book form (such as it is) as published by Image. With that in mind, let us go down the bullet list of my complaints and see what, if anything, has changed.

1. Is It A Comic Book?
While not as fragmented as Issue One and sticking to one storyline, I still cannot call PVP a comic book. It is a collection of comic strips adhering to one theme.

2. Is it new Material?
Reprints of comics you can get for free on the web. As I said before: This is a scam. You are being ripped off when you pay money for this book.

3. Is there gaming content?
Miraculously, yes. The entire book centers on Dungeons and Dragons.

4. Is Jade used as a gratuitous sex object?
Aside from the now standard Frank Cho cover with Jade helplessly thrown over the shoulder of barbarian Brent, Kurtz himself takes a stab at cheesecake artwork with a panel showing Jade in a Red Sonja chainmail bikini. This demonstrates two things: Kurtz whore-like ability to cater to the lowest common denominator among his male readers and why he has Frank Cho doing his covers.

5. Toilet Humor
Skull objects to the smelly troll stereotype and then breaks wind. Nuff said.

6. Insulting the Fans Who Support Him
Limited only to a comic where Brent insults the gaming humor comic industry and a jab at gamers who talk and dress in character.

Final Result
At least this issue was about something, but it is still poorly drawn and unfunny. The book title says it all: Lord of the Schwings. A forced in-joke with a reference to a long dead running gag. And much as I dig that early 90’s slang, daddy-o, it ain’t fly or fresh no mo’. Nobody says Schwing anymore.

Go read Nodwick #20 instead.

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