Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 19 (NSFW)

In which we play through the Epilogue of Wet Dreams Don't Dry, though it's largely a prequel cut-scene showing how Eve established herself before meeting Larry. Still, we do get to take control of Eve and see what happened to her in a sequence that may set up a sequel...

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 18 (NSFW)

It all comes down to this. Will Larry save the day and score with the woman of his dreams? Will Bill Jobs get his comeuppance? How many of you just grinned reading the word comeuppance? All of these questions and more will be answered in this, the thrilling conclusion of Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry.... at least until we play through the Epilogue.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 17 (NSFW)

In which we make the alpacas bow before us and gain the wisdom that comes from peyote consumption. (Just say no to drugs, kids!)

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 16 (NSFW)

In which, after Larry completely fails to create Kelly LeBrock while making himself a sex doll using questionable science, we head south of the border to the village of Cancum and learn of the ancient prophecy of a hero who will drive away the wealthy gringos. But before we become that hero and earn the assistance of the bard El Ray, we must make some guacamole.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 15 (NSFW)

In which we try to break into BJ's office with Anu and wind up getting a blast from the past featuring the one man who exemplifies the spirit of the 1980s better than Larry Laffer. So much winning!

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 14 (NSFW)

It's a nice day to start again, so after completing the one puzzle that stumped me in my original play-through of this game, we set about setting up a Big Gay Wedding for Lance and Dick.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 13 (NSFW)

In which - having finally noticed I have a gym membership now - we check out the gym, meet the uber-active Amazon Diana and start helping Lance come to terms with his love of Dick. We also finally get to have crazy cosplay sex with Nari, but Larry still gets taken down a peg, before he gets Diana to come back to his place to get physical.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 12 (NSFW)

In which we experiment with the new PiPhone and get one step closer to "nerding out" with Nari. But first we have to prove our nerd cred by finding the rarest video game module in history, as Larry goes back to where it all began and we get a ton of old-school adventure gamer Easter eggs.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 11 (NSFW)

In which we explore the tunnels under New Lost Wages and find a new way to die that nets us an achievement. We also go undercover at Prune and meet-up with Navi, the cosplaying, computer-programming manic pixie girl of our dreams.

 (Please forgive the rather abrupt ending, but while re-recording this I wound up covering a bit of the same material that went into Part 12, and I decided not to make you sit through it twice. I'm lucky to get you to sit through it once.)

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 10 (NSFW)

In which we begin our quest to boost our Timber ranking anew and try to help Dick win back Lance. This requires another trip around New Lost Wages to grab everything we can get our dirty, well-lubed hands on and my earning the last of the achievements I didn't get the first time I played through the game.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 9 (NSFW)

In which we finally get into the Hell's Pawn club for a date with destiny and a threesome in the VIP Dark Room. But who will Larry wind up with?  Erin and Lemma?  Dick and Lance? Maybe someone else?  Maybe all three? Anything is possible with the save/restore combo.

Also, we help the game pass the Bechdel Test. No. Really. It's an achievement!

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 8 (NSFW)

In which we finally figure out the exact order of moves needed to build our cheesy porny rat trap and start getting the show on the road with Lemma. But first we have to find booze in the dry city of New Lost Wages and get a smoke machine in a smoke-free city. We also find a way to get the background for our perfect Dick pic - that's a picture from our new photographer friend Dick, for the record.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 7 (NSFW)

In which we get the last of Lemma's posters put up, but we still have to figure out how to convince Cebe the bouncer that the guitar he bought is stolen property. Luckily, there's still plenty for us to do, like further abuse Becky, help Lance relive his childhood memories through a gratuitous Rick and Morty reference and fulfill Erin's dreams of becoming a literary stripper. Now if only I could figure out what to do with this cheese-scented dildo.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 6 (NSFW)

In which we start exploring the wonders of Pier 69, run into Becky and her new boy-toy Lance Straightman, strike a blow for positive representation of Native American culture and try to solve the mystery of Lemma's stolen guitar - a case that proves much easier to solve than it is to prove.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 5 (NSFW)

In which we play detective, delivery man and media distribution manager as we run around New Lost Wages trying to find Lemma's missing drummer, try to recover Erin's package and find places to put up posters for Lemma's concert. We also steal from a cute little doggie, because we are horrible, horrible people. Just awful.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 4 (NSFW)

In which we start meeting the people on our Timber match list and exploring New Lost Wages. There's Erin the cam girl, who is oddly protective of her strawberry bush. There's Lemma the rocker, who promises to rock us all night if we distribute the posters for her concert. And then there's Dick, who seems awfully comfortable hanging around a sex shop for a professional model/photographer and oddly clueless about how clueless Larry is about his flirting with him.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 3 (NSFW)

In which we get ourselves a piPhone and start setting up our Timber profile so we can start finding hot babes looking to hook up. But first we must appease the IT gods by getting various sundry items. Unfortunately, since we're not in Japan and there's no handy vending machines, we have to do some work to get soft toilet paper and used panties.

Starman Plays Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 2 (NSFW)

In which we enjoy some more subtle social commentary that is a general commentary on on-line culture and certainly not a potentially libelous reference to any technology company, tech guru or proprietary platform, living or dead. We also meet the woman of Larry's dreams (in this game, anyway) and are given a modern take on the usual Leisure Suit Larry form, vis a vis sleeping with a lot of strange women while working our way up to the dream woman.

Let's Play Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - Part 1 (NSFW)

In which, after tackling the copyright protection (look it up, Gen Zers) we find ourselves in a familiar old hole - Lefty's Bar - and start discovering how much things have changed in the two decades during which Larry has been absent. But while single's bars have been replaced with dating apps, one thing has not changed - Larry will still flirt with anything with a vagina.

Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry - A Spoiler-Free Game Review

Describing the Leisure Suit Larry series as antiquated would be putting it mildly. The last "real" Larry game came out when I was still in high-school and the point-and-click adventure game genre is deader than disco. The entire series was built around immature humor for mature audiences and the kind of Brooksian satire that no film studio would dare distribute today. What kind of idiots would think you could possibly revive the LSL franchise now?

CrazyBunch Games, apparently.


Quick history lesson for those of you who aren't familiar with the series. The first Leisure Suit Larry game came out in 1987 and put you in the shoes and titular suit of Larry Laffer - an unlovable loser who traveled to Lost Wages intent on losing his virginity on the eve of his 40th birthday.

Successive games saw Larry trying (and failing) to find love and/or sex in a variety of exotic locales, often needing to romance several women on his way to reaching that game's dream girl. The final official Larry game - 1996's Love for Sail! - ended on a cliffhanger, with Larry apparently being abducted by aliens. Sadly, a crossover with Space Quest (i.e. Roger Wilco & Leisure Suit Larry in The Road To Uranus) would never materialize and the franchise was ultimately used to sell sleazy party games of dubious quality that aren't worth discussing. So I won't.

That brings us to Wet Dreams Don't Dry which leaves any and all question of just what happened to Larry completely unanswered, as it throws him into the 21st Century and New Lost Wages. His bartender buddy Lefty is still around, but the rest of the world has changed. The singles' bars Larry frequented have been replaced with craft breweries, men now wear full beards and man-buns instead of leisure suits and nobody dates anymore - they just arrange hook-ups via something called Timber.

The world may have changed, but Larry is still the same; lusting after a woman who is far out of his league and being utterly out of his depth. Still, Larry is nothing if not persistent and he takes his current dream woman Faith at her word when she says she'll consider an encounter with him if he can match her rating on Timber. So begins a hopeless and hopelessly funny quest as Larry tries to romance as many women as possible to boost his rating and score a chance at scoring with Faith, inadvertently stumbling across a plot that may require Larry to save the world. Or not.



The most astonishing thing about Wet Dreams Don't Dry is how neatly they've updated the core Larry concept for modern times; not in how they've built an interface around Larry's new smartphone or the fact that Larry HAS a smartphone, but in how the basic idea of "horny jerk tries to get laid" has been developed into something that's not completely sleazy and gross. This is largely due to the writing taking a cue from the later Larry games, where Larry was surprisingly innocent and naive, frequently winding up in wacky situations after misinterpreting someone else's attempts at subtlety. (i.e. thinking a woman hiring him to kill her elderly husband was hitting on him.)

Larry's creator Al Lowe wasn't involved in the production of this game, but you'd never know it from the writing. They nail the tone perfectly, with a balanced measure of smart jokes, bad puns and not so subtle stabs at modern culture. To give you a taste, much of the game's plot centers around Prune - an all-consuming tech-firm - and the release of the latest edition of their popular PiPhone. The Prune logo looks like a vagina, their corporate headquarters like a giant cock and balls and the whole company is overseen by Bill Jobs. (BJ for short.)

Subtle it ain't, but the game is never mean-spirited. Yes, the cast includes a drag queen named Tuck R. Dale who keeps breaking into jail for the free cavity searches, but the humor is all on part with a typical drag performance or burlesque show. This won't stop some people from taking offense, however. Indeed, I felt inspired to write this review to balance out one particularly awful review from someone who dismissed the game entirely because of the character of Becky - a vapid influencer and social media maven, who is the first woman Larry meets in the game.


Is she a stereotype of the cliche Millennial woman? Only in the same sense the Larry is a cliched parody of the Disco Man. The comedy is based around how utterly unequipped Larry is to deal with a woman like this (who speaks in terms of likes and hits) and Becky exists only to emphasis what a fish-out-of-water Larry is in the modern era. Okay, she also exists to suffer indirectly because of Larry's actions but there's no "hur hur dumb Millennials/okay Boomer" jokes.

The animation is minimal, but the game artwork is fantastic. The voice acting is also solid and the original voice of Larry, Jan Rabson, returned to play Larry once again. The gameplay runs smoothly enough, with the game walking you through new features as they are introduced. For adventure game newbies, there's an option to briefly highlight the objects you can click on, if you aren't sure where to go. The puzzles are rarely illogical and on the one occasion it is the game hangs a lampshade on the puzzle in question almost immediately. I only became hopelessly stuck once and that was only because I failed to click on something more than once.



The only real flaw to Wet Dreams Don't Dry is a certain dryness. (If I had a dollar for every time I heard that...) There's not nearly as many of the funny random descriptions you got from looking at the background or the characters as in earlier games. Larry also describes everything himself, rather than by having a narrator talk to him and the audience. And oh, how I would have loved to have Neil Ross's narrator back for this one to mock Larry as he stumbles around the city.

Despite that, Wet Dreams Don't Dry gets more right in trying to bring Leisure Suit Larry into modern times than it gets wrong. And the game's epilogue leaves ample room for a sequel, suggesting that we may not have seen the last of Larry Laffer after all. Thank goodness for that!